Chapter 12 #2
In assuming his condition was based on the drugs used on him, I knew I could be wrong, but how could any man survive what we had and appear so fit? And sexy. I cinched my eyes shut, not only incapable of moving because he had me locked down, but because I was experiencing exquisite rapture.
I’d read about how amazing it could be, but this exceeded all of my expectations.
Rage took his time moving from one nipple to the other, sucking and biting until they were both extremely sensitive.
I should stop him right here, pushing and locking him out even if only by using stacks of boxes.
I’d promised myself if I ever enjoyed sex, it would be a one-time thing, and certainly with no emotions, but I was feeling all kinds of things.
Even stranger was that I’d lost my virginity with this man and I hadn’t lamented it for a second. Things were different than within the aging pages of books I’d voraciously read, but I should have felt something, right?
Maybe I’d expected to feel more like an adult, all grown up and eager to face the world. Only the world wasn’t a kind or safe place and with the only option for the future being survival, sex had merely placated me for a little while.
However, I’d be lying to myself if I didn’t say the sex had been amazing. So much so I’d dared think about how his touch had made me feel, his mouth and lips, his sweaty palms and fingers.
And his huge cock.
Oh, my goodness, I’d thought about how he’d filled my pussy, the ache a reminder of the time shared.
Time stolen.
Yet so precious that the ache hadn’t left, but there were too many reasons I shouldn’t want a repeat, including knowing what the closeness represented.
Fear of losing something else.
The overwhelming feeling of loss had terrible lingering effects, keeping the desire to become friends with anyone too difficult to comprehend. Families had been torn apart, children left to fend for themselves. Children like me.
It finally hit me what Peter had said.
I’d been abandoned, unwanted, and thrown out to the wild. Who would do that kind of thing to a helpless child who had no way of defending herself?
A flurry of emotions hit me, almost tearing me apart. The memories were there, barely locked behind a veil of deceit and lies, fear and anger. And this man, once a boy, had saved me.
I could see it clearly now. His face. His eyes, so green they’d captured and kept my attention.
Just like Rage’s had done hours before.
The way his lips had upturned in a quirky smile when he’d tried to encourage me to trust him.
And how he’d held me in his arms when I’d finally let go, crying my heart out because I was no longer alone.
He’d protected me, including from wolves who’d attacked.
Now I remembered even though a huge part of me didn’t want to.
Any recollection would cause pain, knowledge of who’d wanted me to die. I hadn’t been able to face the truth then. Why would I even want to do so now?
Because remembering was the key to the future. The connection with Rage was part of the prophecy. But how? Why?
A flurry of images crashed into my mind, unwanted. Unneeded. My chest heaved as pain nearly ripped me apart.
As he crouched lower, I took several deep breaths, wrapping both arms around his head. He’d saved me. For a little while, I’d felt safe, loved by a stranger.
Then he’d left me too, the loneliness hitting me even harder. I’d cried myself to sleep for weeks, unable to talk to anyone.
Like Wren.
Only through Peter’s coaxing and my found parents had I learned to risk coming out of my shell.
Completely flustered, I closed my eyes in hopes of blocking out the past while refusing to embrace whatever future Peter insisted I was ready for.
The feel of Rage’s rough tongue against my skin was causing me to overheat. Panting, I glared at the ceiling while he slowly dropped to his knees. Oh, what was he doing?
While he’d been required to release his hold, at this point I wasn’t attempting to go anywhere. I was frozen in the moment, unable to feel my legs. Only the rapid pattering of my heart seemed to keep me from dropping headfirst into a dark abyss.
I don’t know what struck me unless fear of the unknown while being provided with an anchor from the past was to blame, but I was suddenly ravenous. With no sense of an off button, I could feel myself and my needs spiraling out of control.
He continued peppering kisses down my stomach while splitting my legs farther apart.
My hands were instantly clammy, the rush of heat exposing my sudden embarrassment now the most annoying aspect of the experience.
The reason was personal and before hadn’t bothered me in the least. I had no clue what I was doing.
I could feel certain the reason I hadn’t been hindered by being a virgin was based solely on the overabundance of excitement on one hand, and the irrational fury on the other.
Mixing the two had resulted in the incident being explosive. Now I was about to collapse and would have had his huge hands not grabbed my thighs at that moment, spreading my legs open as far as humanly possible.
Before I had a chance to understand what he was about to do, he pressed his face closer to my pussy. With my core aching and throbbing, the first swath of his heated breath and I rose onto my toes. I knew the quarters were mostly soundproof, but I bit my bottom lip to keep from crying openly.
How embarrassing for anyone to walk in and see this… creature on his knees prepared to feast on me. Especially since I’d all but explained how I’d wanted to cut the man’s heart out. At least that’s what I’d wanted to say.
When a moan of frustration escaped, one dark eyebrow rose in my direction. He was watching me as he’d done before, still confounded by my reaction to him.
I realized I was starting to slide down the wall, helpless in controlling my shaking extremities. The beast came to the rescue, pushing me up until I was standing straight just before he buried his face between my legs.
There was no mistaking the strangled cry erupting from my throat or the wild sweeping array of sensations. His grip on my legs was tight enough I envisioned bruises, but I honestly didn’t care.
He sucked on my clit, taking his time while creating the most embarrassing sound. There was nothing the man did without full intention. This time, he was giving me no reason not to fall prey to his dominance.
Between gasps of raw pleasure, I laughed nervously, shaken completely to the core by his masterful tongue.
The beastlike creature could be so controlling, but moments when he caught me off guard the most were when he was tender.
Without understanding why, I wanted the full roughness, his actions shattering every thought of decency.
I needed him to fuck me, not fawn over me. To hell with niceties or foreplay. I wanted the whole thing, his dick deep inside my pussy. For reasons only my crazed mind would be able to identify, I grabbed a fistful of hair, yanking as I jutted my hips forward.
He drove several fingers inside, creating an instant ache that was entirely different from the night before. I was trembling all over, the wild excitement surging until I was breathless.
Apparently, he wasn’t interested in stopping at all, pushing all my buttons while licking me.
Why I tried to concentrate on watching his tongue being dragged up and down my pussy only to be driven deep inside was beyond me.
Unable to breathe, eventually I was lightheaded enough that a fog developed over my eyes.
The ache only increased and my body was restless, almost as much as my mind. “Hurry.”
I gathered he hadn’t been prepared for me to blurt out the word, lifting his head long enough to peer at me quizzically. “Hurry?”
“Yes. I need you… to fuck me.” In admitting my desires, there was a strangling pull as if I’d just admitted defeat to an enemy. I preferred to think of him that way rather than as anyone I could care about. I couldn’t allow myself to feel that way ever again.
Except physically. Now I accepted why there was a beauty in being so physical. If you could learn to turn off your emotions, sex could certainly provide entertainment where no other was available.
My admittance seemed to please him. “Then by all means I’ll… hurry.”
But he didn’t hurry. He did the unthinkable by continuing to tease me, pushing me into a block wall mentally with his expertise. I had my palms pressed against the wall, gasping for air as he dragged me close to a climax and pulled back, barely using his tongue.
I was crazed with need, my body lurching forward with every swipe of his tongue. Finally, when he thrust four fingers inside of me, I wrapped my arms around his head, pressing his face into me. I wouldn’t allow him to get away until he finished the task.
He yanked me from the wall, cupping my buttocks as he feasted. I stared down at him, shaking so badly that had he not been holding me, I would have fallen.
The feeling didn’t last long, replaced by one even more intense. As the orgasm torched my skin by tearing through me, I threw my head back and took gasping, uneven breaths. He held me tightly, refusing to let me go as he slowed his actions, his tongue covering every inch of my pussy.
I was slowly melting, the enjoyment that amazing. This felt like being completely out of control, but for once, I was thrilled I’d let myself go.
However, the cravings hadn’t been completely satisfied.
As soon as he pulled away, he stood, our eyes connecting once again.
While I understood the term romance since my parents had told me stories about the past before the war, including about date nights, the thought alone led to emotions.
Given there was no desire to float into unwanted territory, I gripped his shirt, pulling him closer.