Chapter 14
Star
The alarms had been turned off, those inside the bunker told to sequester in their rooms, even though I knew they’d all be on edge.
We’d practiced for this several times, although nothing was the same as being under direct attack even if the thought was never far removed from our minds.
Knowing the bastards were hiding above us, eager to steal and kill was horrifying, but even more, the anger brimming just below the surface made it difficult to breathe.
How many times had I taken comfort by placing my head in my mother’s lap over the years? Enough I couldn’t count. She’d never pushed me away, had never told me there wasn’t time or that she was busy. Well, except for one time.
It had been before we’d found this place, a group of eighty or so of us, mostly men, taking refuge in a small town further west. The area had been spared of significant damage, but time and destructive weather patterns had taken their toll. So had looters, Savages, and even Hunters.
That was also the time when different gangs had formed, the most violent men claiming leadership. One had descended on our little town, determined to take what belonged to us.
I’d been ten years old, too young to fight but not to understand what we’d been facing. The strongest had fought, young and middle-aged men pledging to keep the women and children safe.
Children. As in plural. There’d been seven of us, three older, a boy and two teenage girls. We’d huddled together in a building with a basement while the fighting had ensued. There’d been hopes we wouldn’t be found.
With the skirmish taking place miles away, our fighters didn’t know a group had doubled back in what had likely been a preplanned attack. They’d known where we were all along.
I’d learned several valuable lessons that day including how heinous some survivors could be. Even today, I could still hear the screams of the two girls as they’d been sexually assaulted by several men, the other children hunted like rats and killed.
My survival had been because my mother had hidden me away in a closet.
While the marauders had been defeated, only a few still alive and deciding it was best to pillage elsewhere, the emotional toll had been taken on everyone.
On the single day my mother had pushed me aside, refusing me comfort had been because she’d remained with one of the teenager girls who’d survived her ordeal.
My mother had treated her like a baby, singing to her the very lullabies she’d done with me. Then she’d cradled the girl in her arms, holding her until she’d passed away peacefully.
It was a vision I’d both wanted to forget and hoped that I wouldn’t. A reminder of the horrors in this world.
Now I had my head on her leg, another reminder of the decent part of a past that at times didn’t seem real, yet was the only one I knew. With my parents moving from place to place, taking solace in each other, entertainment from books or hearing stories of an alternate life.
Fantasies that would never come true.
She was stroking my hair, her breathing more labored than even a couple of hours before.
I’d waited too long. There was nothing that would stop her from dying.
With the lockdown, only the bare minimum of glow lights was allowed.
Normally, I didn’t mind the darkness, but tonight the shadows formed from the eerie illumination were disturbing.
At least my father had finally fallen asleep in the chair in the corner.
His vigil was another reason I knew the time was close.
He was our resident mechanic, a mechanical engineer by trade who’d managed to keep equipment operational.
I don’t know how he’d been able to do so, but his genius had been the real reason we’d all survived.
My accomplishments in comparison had been next to nothing.
Mother and father. They’d been my everything.
I glanced at the sleeping man, thankful he’d found some peace.
While they were the only parents I’d ever known, I was aware of my birth parents, although explaining how had never been necessary or even desired.
They were like shadows in my brain, ghosts that appeared every so often when I was exhausted.
Fleeting images that once awake, I was never able to grasp onto enough that I could recall their features or any events in the dream. The few times one or the other appeared, and usually my mother, days of sadness lingered, a noose around my neck pulling me closer to a terrifying abyss.
These two amazing people had been my life raft. Now I was being asked to take a dive into a swirling ocean full of monsters. How was that possible?
“Wren reminds me so much of you,” Mama said. The life had vanished from her voice, but I could hear the rally cry in her soul, trying to pretend like everything was going to be alright.
Just like she used to do.
“She’s so quiet. She can speak but refuses to.”
“You were that way when you first came to us. It was months before you were comfortable enough to say more than a couple words.”
“I can only imagine what she’d been through. I can tell by her eyes whatever she witnessed was horrific.”
Mother brushed the tips of her fingers down my cheek. “Just like what we feared with you.”
“Do you have any idea what that was?”
Even if she did know, the slight tension in her fingers meant she wasn’t allowed to tell me.
“I don’t think you need to relive the past. Yes, I understand you are very special in ways that I probably can’t understand, but you’re my daughter first. You have your entire life ahead of you.
Rage and the others will see to it that you live to the fullest.”
Laughter wasn’t easy, but in this case, the sound was bitter. “I won’t be getting that close to any of them to discover if you’re right.”
“They will protect us, Star. I can tell.” My mother’s voice had always been the one of reason, but she had no idea.
“You don’t know them. They are beasts. Rage is… difficult.”
“So are you when you want to be. However, they are Verndari. Our hope. Our future. You should try giving them a little slack.”
I lifted my head. Either news traveled fast including to the clinic or my parents had been told what to expect.
To see her smile as she’d done when trying to hide a surprise for my birthday was heartwarming.
And threatened to make me very emotional.
“Am I the only one who wasn’t told about the existence of the Verndari? ”
“There was no reason for you to worry more than you always do, my sweet daughter. You made it your mission to care about everyone else. Let them do the job they were created to do.”
“They want to take me far away from here. Peter agrees. I don’t entirely understand.”
She adjusted herself on the pillow. I’d thought I’d found a pot of gold the day I’d discovered the pillow in a huge, locked steel box. That had been years ago and it had traveled with us when discovering the bunker.
Her face appeared almost serene. “I’m aware and you need to go. You know you can trust Peter. Find your courage, my daughter. You are meant for great things.”
“I can’t leave you.”
“We’ve been through this, Star. And if you remember, the day your father and I told you that you were ours to protect, we mentioned one day you would leave us when the time was right.”
“Yes, but I thought you were talking about when I… I don’t know, found a husband.” Not that I even fully understood what that meant other than what I’d seen with them. There were no formal contracts of any kind. Why bother when at any day, someone could die.
Survival of the fittest had an entirely new meaning.
“Trust me, Star. You will meet the man you’ll spend the rest of your life with. It’s possible you already have.”
I laughed, shaking my head as I did. “Please don’t tell me you’re talking about one of the Savages.”
“Verndari. Perhaps. Maybe not. It’s your choice but choose wisely. You will be guided as long as you follow your heart.” When she coughed, I was immediately on edge.
I hadn’t realized Wren had been in the shadows until she moved into the glow, her eyes pinned on my mother.
“Where’s Jake?”
Wren stretched out her arm, pointing toward the back of the room. I had to crane my neck, squinting because of the darkness to notice that he was curled into a ball, his little chest rising and falling in peace. At least she had the pup to keep her company and to make her feel safe.
She inched close to my mother’s cot, looking at me to see if it was alright. “She’s sick, Wren, and nothing that you can fix. I wish you could.”
“That’s right. She’s a healer,” my mother said. “No, child. Soon I will get to see heaven.”
My mother was so matter of fact, resigned to the understanding that she was dying. Meanwhile, I was doing everything humanly possible not to fall into a fit of hysteria. I’d already shown the men of the community pretending to be soldiers that my commendation as commander was in title only.
The one city we’d happened upon holding a large group of people, at least a couple thousand, had offered a distinctly different thought of providing a haven for those who’d survived up to that point.
Since everyone allowed into the city was required to provide a service or have a needed skill to live within the protected area, I’d signed up to become a soldier in a newly formed militia.
To my parents’ horror. We’d stayed long enough that I’d obtained the title of commander, which hadn’t been too difficult given living in crowded quarters in dilapidated surroundings had fueled unrest. That in turn had sparked significant disagreements and criminal behavior, enough that the city had erupted in violence.
That’s when the group of us had forced our way to the compound.
While the experience had mostly been horrific, I had honed my fighting skills and had been able to raid a library that also held locations of the closest bunkers.
To this day, I had no idea why I’d been the lucky one to find the detailed renderings, which had also helped my father in keeping things running.