Chapter 21
Star
I’d never been very good with telling anyone I was sorry. Maybe because I’d been so angry all my life, furious with everyone for not being able to live and enjoy the life read about in books and seen in pictures.
But it was time I stopped living in what had been and forged what could be into what would be. Wrath had confidence in the strong connection Rage and I shared. It was past time I do the same.
I rushed up the stairs, moving to the bathroom first. He wasn’t there. I noticed a slight glow across from the room where Wren was staying and moved closer, taking a deep breath before walking inside.
His massive body was wrapped in a towel, the material barely enough to surround his torso.
As soon as I walked in, his body stiffened.
There was little more than a glow of light from one of the phosphor sticks, but I didn’t need any further definition of his incredible physique.
Although I hoped we’d be allowed to spend a few hours under intense exploration.
I closed the door, feeling strangely much more adult than I had my entire life.
Being with him created an entirely different aura about being alive.
Instead of merely working to survive, around him I was allowed moments of excitement and longing.
Nothing had prepared me for the strange feelings rumbling in my stomach or the flutter of my heart.
No books. No pictures of romantic settings.
No discussions with my adopted mother or with Peter.
And not even from hearing raucous stories as told by old timers during wishful moments. The here and now was something else entirely.
“Did you come to finish what you started, princess? Go ahead.” He swept his arms out, nodding in encouragement. That was when I realized he was talking about the sword in my hand. “You can kill me if that’s what you want.”
“No,” I threw out, nervously lowering the sword to the floor. “Why would you think that?”
“Wouldn’t it be better to carve my heart out? Then you wouldn’t need to worry about whether I was planning on using you for God knows what. Did you think I would come all this way to betray you?”
“Others might.”
“Yeah.” He nodded, slowly lowering his arms. “You’re right, absolutely right to be cautious. But here’s the thing, princess. I’m not just one of those guys. I was sworn to protect you and that’s what I intend on doing whether you want me to or not.”
His angry vehemence should infuriate me, but he was hurting. I’d hurt him and that killed me. Peter would never allow me to leave with anyone he didn’t trust. The arrival of the Verndari had been planned for a long time. The reason why would matter at some point.
But not now.
“Phoenix,” I whispered, fighting tears and anger, the wave crushing me. “I’m so sorry.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry about.” While he spoke the words, I could tell by the tension lingering, the way he held his arms at his sides that he’d heard such an atrocity before. Neither the insult nor the comparison was one he deserved.
“Yes, there is.”
“You said so yourself. I’m a monster and you’re right.”
“No,” I whispered, shaking my head. “You’re a soldier with honor, a son who loved his family, an amazing friend, and the greatest protector I could ever have.”
He took a deep breath, holding it for several seconds.
As I walked closer, I stripped off my clothes, tossing the items aside with caution.
The times before I’d experienced nerves, but nothing like what I was feeling right now.
My heart was in my throat, my pulse keeping me lightheaded.
Before I hadn’t cared what he’d thought about me.
I’d simply been fulfilling a craving and I’d assumed so had he.
This was different. This was personal. Being with him made me feel incredibly vulnerable, a reminder of how inexperienced I was with sex, passion or any of the strong emotions threatening to push me into tears.
I’d never had such strong feelings before.
Not under any circumstances. With him, everything was different.
When I was wearing only my panties, I stopped less than a foot from where he was standing.
There was a distinct crackle between us, a tether of some kind that was even stronger, thicker than before.
I could barely breathe from how nervous I’d become, my face completely flushed from embarrassment.
This wasn’t the first time he was seeing me devoid of clothing, but as with everything else, it felt more important. Or so that’s what furrowed deep inside.
I slipped my fingers under the elastic, slowly pushing the thin material down my legs. My eyes never left his and with every passing second, his breathing became even more erratic. Rage fisted his hands, his nostrils flaring and his appearance was even more warrior-like than before.
While his physique had been altered, enhanced by science, nothing had changed with the man inside. The one with a heart of gold. Maybe I was making too much out of how I was beginning to view him, but Wrath’s words and voice continued to linger in my mind.
Now only inches away, I shored my shoulders as I tilted my head. He took another deep breath, this time holding the air in his lungs as he placed his flexed hand across his heart.
“So fucking beautiful.”
“You make me feel beautiful.”
The three little words brought more joy than he could understand, yet I felt another moment of raw, ragged emotion that finally overwhelmed me. A single tear fought its way past my lashes, slowly crawling down my face.
I’d thought the man incapable of feeling much of anything beyond duty and anger, but seeing the concern flickering through the dim lighting in his eyes stilled my heart. With a tenderness I was only beginning to understand, he rolled his finger through the tear, bringing his hand to his mouth.
Never blinking. No other movement.
As soon as he slipped his finger into his mouth, I was finally able to breathe. Deep, nontoxic breaths. One after the other. Maybe that’s why the trepidation fell away, exposing only the strongest desire that refused to be denied.
The action was nothing that would ordinarily draw my attention.
Maybe because I’d never allowed myself to feel anything other than the most basic desire.
But the tenderness, the blatant intimacy was everything.
My heart swelled. I couldn’t understand love in the capacity of being with someone who could complete and protect me, but his reaction meant everything.
Rage pulled his hand free, immediately tracing my mouth. The heat he exuded was incredible, my body as wired as my mind. I placed my hand on his chest, marveling in the tingling sensations that never seemed to grow old. While unexplainable, this time I didn’t try to shove them aside.
His trail continued, the tip of his index finger moving from one side of my jaw to the other before following the line of my neck.
Every breath he consumed was labored, stripping the oxygen from the room.
I couldn’t seem to stop shaking and when he cupped my face, pulling me closer, tiny stars burst across my field of vision.
For all the times I’d shoved him away, all the excuses used and necessary to keep my heart locked away faded the minute he dropped his head, his lips touching mine. I dug my fingers into his skin, moaning into the electric kiss. He wrapped one arm around my waist, crushing me against him.
As he swept his tongue into my mouth, the lightheadedness only increased until I was fearful I’d fall if he dared let me go. Somehow, I doubted he had any intentions of doing so.
The kiss was sweet and tender, then as the seconds dragged on, his hunger exploded along with mine. I longed to feel his naked body pressed against mine but didn’t need to rip the towel away. As it slipped past his hips, my mouth watered in an almost desperate longing to taste him.
I reached for his cock, more frantic than I’d been, but he pushed my hand away, even breaking the kiss. We were both breathless, his slight growl keeping me on the very edge of hunger.
“What’s wrong?” I tried tugging my hand free, but he wrapped his fingers around mine, pulling my knuckles to his lips. The sensual move as he rolled his lips across all four was so unexpected I gasped.
“Tonight, I please you as I should have done the first night, princess. Tonight, I seduce you as every beautiful woman deserves.”
There were so many sides to the man, his complexities igniting a fire while still managing to drive me crazy. I wasn’t certain which powerful guy I preferred. The one refusing to follow any rule, acting as if he was king of the world. Or the one who gave me a sense he would die to protect me.
He captured my mouth once again, this time lifting me off the floor.
As he held me, I wrapped my legs around his massive thighs, squeezing my legs.
My pussy ached, so wet I could barely think clearly.
Then again, what was the point in doing so?
So I could think about the horrors of the world, the dangers and what we’d continue to face in our travels?
None of that mattered, only the here and now.
The way he devoured my mouth kept me on the sweet precipice, the heat between us becoming explosive. All I could do was tangle my fingers in his hair, savoring his natural scent laced with whatever soap we’d been lucky enough to find and use.
He carried me toward the bed, easing me down with such control and gentleness I was floored. Our lips remained locked together, a beautiful reminder passion existed in many forms. When he finally pulled our lips apart, his dark chuckle sent a thrill through me.
Very slowly he crawled onto the bed and the look on his face was unreadable, but keeping prickling heat sweeping through me.
Whereas when we’d had sex before, I’d felt completely in control. I’d been the one to allow his touch, his kisses. I’d been the one to say when, shoving him aside when I’d satisfied my needs. I’d been the one to ensure he, and the way he electrified my body, meant absolutely nothing.
All bullshit. The only control I’d accomplished was over my nerves by pretending. Now with that stripped aside, the uncertainty and concern I wasn’t good enough crowded into the moment.
Nothing about him was rushed or desperate, taking his time to stroke my arm, rolling his fingers between my breasts. With the way he was watching me, self-consciousness was heavy.
Until it wasn’t.
With a swirl of his finger around one nipple then the other, he brought the passion closer to the surface.
One flick of his finger across my hardened bud increased the deep core throbbing in my pussy.
One brutal pinch of my tender flesh dragged me from the bed’s surface, panting as the wash of pain shifted into extreme pleasure.
My reaction didn’t force him to stop, his fingers crawling down my stomach, his pinky circling my belly button.
The stolen breath wouldn’t return any time soon. When he lifted my legs, bending them at the knee and pressing them out so my pussy was exposed, I smashed my hands against the bed.
He continued taking his time crawling between my legs, wrapping his arms around them. The single swath of hot air spread across my wetness evoked another wave of desire. If he wasn’t careful, soon I’d be begging him to fuck me.
I didn’t need to be told to lie back down, his actions doing that where no words would make such a difference.
The dart of his tongue around my clit brought an instant stiffness.
The second time I was struggling in his hold, accepting there was no method of escape.
And yet, that’s not really what I wanted.
I felt safer in his arms than I had anywhere, including with a hundred people around me. He had that way about him, magnanimous in everything he did.
As his hands shifted, pressing down on my flesh, I was finally able to relax.
Yet with the first swipe of his rough tongue, I jerked up once again, fisting the covering while staring at the ceiling.
One lick and I was insane with need, my legs trembling.
I thought about the others inside the house, which was the only reason I didn’t scream in acknowledgement of pleasure.
It didn’t take long for his actions to settle me down, my body falling slowly against the softness. He kept his gaze on me while he dragged his tongue up and down. I twisted my hands while moving my head from side to side.
My eyes were cinched shut, an array of emotions wrapping around the incredible vibrations.
Nothing had truly prepared me for the volume of sensations from a man’s tongue.
But as he drove a finger into my tight channel, I was blown away how my pussy muscles reacted, clenching down to the point I felt the heavy pulsing.
He had more patience than I realized, sucking on my clit while doing nothing more than teasing me. One finger shifted into a second until a haze formed over my eyes. I couldn’t remain still, especially when he brought me closer to the edge.
I dug my heels into the covering while gasping for air, so lightheaded I was certain I’d pass out. I’d had no idea that this was what all those books had been talking about. A true alpha male pushing me closer to ecstasy. If this was nirvana, I never wanted the amazing sensations to stop.
As soon as he spread his fingers open, thrusting harder, I jerked up onto my forearms to enjoy the view. But with every swipe of his tongue, I could feel myself spiraling out of control.
“Oh. Oh. Oh…” The only words I could speak and they were ragged, barely audible, but a telling statement of how incredible I felt.
The high was as extreme as I’d ever felt, but already I had a sense of loss, knowing the world would come crashing down at my feet.
Yet as a climax rushed through me, pitching me even higher, I knew in my heart there was no place I’d rather be.
In my fantasy world, the queen had found her king.
But in truth, the knowledge and if discovered, the connection we shared, the burning demands placed on each other could either become the greatest weapon…
Or the most significant danger of all.