Chapter 46
Vic snuck several looks at Cal as he drove toward her house. Then, she settled into full-on staring. It wasn’t like her to be confrontational, but what? He wasn’t going to talk to her? Like at all?
It made sense that he was surprised or angry or whatever he was . . . yet he was the one who had insisted he didn’t need to know anything about her past. She had tried multiple times to tell him what she was really like. He had said whatever it was, it wouldn’t matter.
You are not your actions, a voice whispered—and maybe that was partially true. But only partially. What we do does say more about who we are than our words do.
Okay, well . . . you’re always trying to do better and grow, and that’s all a person can do.
That was true. She’d give her brain that. Still, she could understand if Cal didn’t want to see her anymore. She just wished he’d let her say her piece—
Oh no, you don’t. You don’t get to put not telling him on him. You could’ve insisted, but you didn’t—
Because of this very thing!
Fair.
“Cal . . .”
He finally glanced her way, then, still half a block from her house, he signaled and parked alongside the sidewalk.
“I’m a local businessman,” Cal said miserably.
Vic flinched and nodded. She knew what was coming.
“I have to be able to shop there. I can’t have them thinking that I might . . .” He trailed off, but Vic heard the unfinished sentence loud and clear. He couldn’t have people thinking he might rip them off too—guilt by association.
“I understand,” she said. And she did.
Cal had been fixating on the steering wheel, avoiding eye contact. Now he shot her a look. “What do you understand?”
“That you don’t want to see me anymore.”
He didn’t confirm or deny, just asked, “And the married guy? That was true too? You were with him for years?”
Vic hung her head. She had been doing so well, trying so hard.
And that’s all you can do—and can keep doing. Be gentle with yourself and have your own back, woman.
She smiled, though she suspected tears would come later.
Imagine the voice in her head being something she could agree with!
Not an angel, not a devil. Just . . . her own inner self.
Cal was special, but if he couldn’t see who she really was, or give her the benefit of the doubt or chance to explain—especially after all his big words about the past not mattering, well .
. . she was done selling herself short for some man, trying to pretend she was all sugar and light instead of just a damaged, complex, fully actualized person, one who was trying to grow and get a little better all the time.
You sound like a social media meme.
Ah, there was the snark she was more familiar with. But it only made her inner conviction grow. She felt like sticking out her tongue.
There’s a lot of good stuff on SM.
“You should take me home.”
Cal nodded, started the truck, and shoulder-checked—then shook his head.
For a split second, Vic thought he was going to turn the engine off again. Talk things through—
But he didn’t. They didn’t. In under a minute, she was home. In less than five, the stuff from Jack’s was sitting inside her door.
“Vic,” Cal said, then paused. “I just need to think . . .” His voice petered out again.
She nodded. “It’s okay, Cal.”
What else was there to say? Nothing.
She even gave a little wave as he drove off.