Chapter 53
Cal wasn’t normally a fidgeter, or hadn’t been since he was a kid when it was pretty much smacked out of him—but that was the thing. Vic made him feel like a kid—but in a good, cheerful, safe way.
They’d been spending almost all their free time together and it was wonderful—but he hoped for more.
He wanted to sit reading in a corner while she painted.
He wanted her to cuddle into him at night after they’d made love—not for her to get up and leave a little while later.
He wanted morning coffee and midnight snacks.
He, well, wanted all the things long-married people seemed to take for granted and he, from the outside looking in, always thought seemed special.
Even household chores and paying bills seemed cozy with someone.
They had an official date planned—dinner out, followed by a stand-up comedy night at the casino—rather than just hanging out at Vic’s, which they often did and which he totally understood, especially now that they knew what Audra was up against. As he drove to her place to pick her up, he went over and over what he wanted to say in his head.
He also wanted the timing to be right, however, so he waited till they were done dinner—which consisted of butter chicken, rice, naan, and conversation about Vic’s fears for Audra, that they couldn’t discuss when she was around, obviously, and a dozen other little things.
It wasn’t the right time to bring it up.
And intermission at the show didn’t seem right.
Their faces hurt from laughing, and he didn’t want to dampen the mood.
Finally, it was the right time. They were lingering in his van in her driveway, neither wanting to say goodnight, though both had early mornings planned.
Her fingers were laced through his, and he rubbed his thumb along the graceful line of her index finger.
“I know we haven’t even really been dating long, Vic—but the times we’ve spent together .
. . they make me feel like I’ve come home.
And I don’t mean to a physical place. I mean, like when I’m with you, wherever we are, my heart is home .
. .” He trailed off, wishing he hadn’t sounded quite so flowery but meaning it all the same.
“But I also don’t mean not a physical place.
” Man, he was almost as good at this as he was at banter.
“What I’m trying to say, or to ask, rather, is if you would please consider moving in with me?
I would love to hold you every night—and wake up to you every morning. ”
“I feel exactly the same way,” Vic said softly, but something in her tone made Cal’s neck prickle. “I like you, Cal, so much—like I really, really like you.”
Cal relaxed. Her eyes were shining and so warm and full of the truth of those words that even though he could still hear the “but” coming, he couldn’t be worried. Or not too worried.
“I would love to make a home with you, if that’s what you’re asking.”
He nodded to say yes, it was—and he knew the but was next.
“But—”
Here it came.
“I need to stay with Audra, even though it’s going to be difficult at times—and I’m rebuilding my relationship with Michael. His visit was a good start, but just that. A start.”
He nodded. “Yeah, that makes sense. I understand.” And he did. He totally did, but disappointment washed through him all the same.
Vic bit her lip and looked up at him from beneath her lashes. There was something in her expression he didn’t quite understand—shyness maybe?
He tilted his head. “What is it?”
She scrunched her nose—so cute! But also, yeah, definitely feeling shy about something. A niggle of worry gnawed at him, though her expression was still warm.
“I’m not sure how you’d feel about this—and believe me, I’ll understand if you want to pass and just continue as is with sleepovers and the like .
. .” She grinned, and he wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss her right then and talk later—but he was curious about what she was going to ask, so managed to refrain.
“Is there any chance you’d consider moving in with me?” Her face went pink—and Cal suddenly understood the expression he’d had a hard time interpreting. Not shyness, or not just shyness. Hope.
He felt like his heart might burst.
Vic’s face scrunched again. “Of course, that would mean you’d also be saying yes to moving in with Audra.”
Cal wanted to jump up and down and cheer.
He’d live with six Audras to get to live with Vic—okay, maybe not six.
But one, yes. He could handle the one. He wanted to pull Vic into his arms and kiss her till their lips went numb.
And he also wanted to address her “really, really like you” comment and clarify his own feelings to her.
Not like, or not just like. Something so much more—
In the end, he did none of those things—and he didn’t get a chance to answer Vic. The porch light flicked on, and the door opened. Audra checking up on them?
No, Audra letting Christmas out—
Wait!
Three cats came out. Three!
Cal’s jaw dropped.
“Oh, right,” Vic said, grinning but raising her eyebrows a bit tentatively. “I should’ve said Audra and the cats.”
“Christmas multiplied. You and Audra decided, then.”
“Well, you know what they say . . . You can never have too much of a good thing. I wanted it to be a surprise.”
“Well, you got your wish! How are the new ones, personality-wise? Christmas is so mellow, it’s hard to believe she was feral.”
“Sister isn’t as chill and friendly as Christmas, but she will be, I think. Mother is healthy and has been freshly spayed—but the prevailing thought is she’s too far gone, has been feral too long, to ever really enjoy human company.”
Sister had disappeared almost the same instant she appeared, but Christmas was plonked down on the top step now, one back leg stretched high in the air, grooming her nether regions with visible pride. Mother was curled nearby, head up and alert, but not particularly anxious-looking.
Cal looked skeptical. “She seems pretty friendly to me.”
“Yeah, I’m wondering if being in the house with her kittens helps make it not so weird for her. I mean she won’t jump on your lap or anything yet—and maybe she never will. The only person she seems to really like is—wait for it—Audra.”
Cal laughed.
“But she’s fine. She has family to love, a roof over her head, and food in her belly. She seems . . . happy.”
“It’s all anyone needs.” Cal grinned, but he felt somber, like he was giving his oath even if that wasn’t how Vic would hear it.
“I definitely want to move in with you and Audra and the cats. I’m honored, in fact.
I want to be part of your life, period—in whatever form feels good to you.
I really, really like you, Vic—but also .
. . I love you, and I plan to love you better than you’ve ever been loved—for the rest of your life. ”
Vic blinked rapidly and Cal stroked her lovely cheek with one finger. “Let’s go play with some cats, shall we?”