25. Chapter 25
Chapter 25
WESTON
I couldn’t bring myself to talk about the shift in our relationship last night. All night, I had been thinking about it and praying about what I should do. I couldn’t say God gave me a definite answer, so in the end, I went with my gut; I wanted a relationship with Becky. And against all odds, it seemed she was interested in me too. I knew there were risks, but I’d have to deal with those as they came. With no plan in mind about how I could convey my feelings to Becky, I’d knocked on her door this morning. I missed her, and I figured there was no use sitting around the house waiting to find the right words. The minute I saw her face, I clammed up. I didn’t want to say the wrong thing, so I invited her to the beach instead.
Right now, she was soaking up the sun beside me, while I silently adjusted the strap on my googles for the hundredth time. I hadn’t ventured into the realm of dating in so many years. My skills in the romance department were rusted like an old lock. Never had I encountered a woman like Becky. With her, it felt different, almost as if the years of solitude had been preparing me for this very moment. If only I knew how to communicate this to her . The tension sizzled between us, and I could take it no longer. I nudged Becky’s leg.
“Want to swim?” I asked.
“Thought you said you had to rest today?”
“Not a training swim, a fun swim. I want to show you something.”
Becky placed her bookmark in her book and nodded. “Okay, I’m not in the mood to read, anyway.”
“Bring your goggles,” I said.
Becky rifled through her bag to retrieve her goggles and I gave her a hand up.
“Where are you taking me?” she asked.
“It’s a surprise, just follow me,” I said, as I waded into the water. Central Beach was well protected so there were several patches of mini reefs dotted along the bay. I knew this beach well and there was a pretty reef just past the breaking waves. Becky followed me out .
We reached the spot and treaded water while I asked, “We have to dive about four yards, are you up for that?”
Becky nodded, her lips curving into a grin as she secured her goggles. I took her hand, relishing the sensation of our fingers interlocking, and we kicked down to the reef below us. As we swam towards the vibrant colors and shapes of the coral reef, I subtly observed Becky. Her hair floated around her face like a halo, and I thought that an angel would be the perfect description for her.
Now close enough to the coral, I waved my hand around a small crevice, hoping to coax some sea life out of hiding. Just when I was about to give up, an octopus tentacle latched onto my finger. I heard Becky squeal with delight even though we were under water.
We both pushed back up to get some air. As we broke the surface, Becky’s cheeks were rosy with excitement.
“Weston, that was so epic. He just attached himself to your finger!”
Grinning, I nodded. “Yes, let’s see if he’ll perform for you.”
Taking Becky’s hand once more, I led her back down to the reef. She tentatively placed her hand in front of the crevice. After a few seconds, an inquisitive tentacle wrapped around her wrist. She looked at me, her eyes shining, and squeezed my arm.
I loved it when she touched me. My lungs were starting to burn, so I tapped her shoulder and pointed upward. We broke the surface, gasping for air.
“That was so awesome. I loved that so much,” she gushed.
I agreed. But more than anything, I loved seeing Becky’s face light up with wonder and joy.
“I want to show you one more spot if you are up for a bit more swimming?”
Becky gave me a thumbs up.
We swam parallel to the shore, just behind the breakers. After a few minutes, I placed my feet firmly on a ten-yard-wide sand bank. It was situated far enough back that you could only see the beach between every other wave. I always stopped here when I did my ocean swims. It was a great place for solitude. But now, I delighted in showing it to Becky.
“You can stand,” I said.
“No I can’t. I’m too short, I tried. Have you forgotten how short I am?” she said, as she pulled her goggles down and let them hang around her neck.
“You just need to find a higher spot,” I said, and grabbed her hand to pull her to a place where I thought she could stand. Becky let me lead her and gifted me one of her glorious smiles when her feet connected with the sand. I kept hold of her hand to steady her as the water came up to her neck and she wobbled a bit.
“Here, give me your other hand,” I said. Becky took hold of my hand but remained an awkward distance away. I could see her struggling to maintain her balance.
“You can come a little closer,” I suggested, my voice casual but my pulse far from it. “The whole point is for you to have a break from treading water.”
“But then I’d be in your space,” she replied. Her voice held a hesitancy that contradicted the playful spark in her eyes.
“What if I want you in my space?”
Becky moved towards me then, the water parting around her with a gentle swish. Our arms were bent at the elbows now, the distance between us shrinking as she looked up at me, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “How about this? Is this in your space enough?”
“Nope.” The word was a plea wrapped in a single syllable.
She leaned in closer, her breath a whisper against my skin. “How about this?” she said, her nearness igniting something reckless within me .
“Nope. Not even nearly close enough,” I said, my voice a husky murmur.
Suddenly, she looked away, full of hesitation again.
I squeezed her hands. “What’s wrong?” I asked, desperate to ease any of her concerns.
Her gorgeous chocolate eyes met mine. “Yesterday, you didn’t want to kiss me,” she said, her smile faltering, replaced by a frown that tugged at my heartstrings.
“Not true,” I hurried to clarify. “I’ve been daydreaming about kissing you just about every second since yesterday. I’m… I’m rusty at relationships and to be honest, I’ve never felt this way for someone before, so it’s a lot for me to process.”
“Why didn’t you say that last night?”
“Because I was processing; I couldn’t compute normally with you sitting on my lap.”
“Oh, thank goodness. I thought you weren’t attracted to me.”
I drew a deep breath, my chest tightening around words I wasn’t accustomed to saying. The words were there, on the tip of my tongue, almost choking me. Gazing into Becky’s eyes, I finally found the courage to speak.
“Becky,” I began, “I’m so crazy attracted to you, it’s driving me out of my mind.” It wasn’t so much a compliment, but a raw confession, one I hadn’t planned to make so soon. “You... you’ve changed everything,” I continued, the words pouring out of me now. I’d never been one for grand declarations, always preferring to keep my emotions under tight control. But Becky... she’d been like a ray of sunlight piercing through my carefully curated solitude, lighting up parts of my life I didn’t know existed. “I feel like I’ve been surviving in the shadows, my whole life stuck in the shade,” I confessed. “And then you happened. You brought me into the sunlight, Becky.” I remembered the night before. All the confusion, all the bewildering new feelings I’d felt... “Last night,” I said slowly, “I was just... adjusting to the brightness.”
I paused, an unexpected surge of doubt seizing me. The pull towards Becky was palpable, a force that toyed with my logic and reason. Yet I was hesitant… hesitant to step into the unknown. The shadows of my past clung tightly, a reminder of how painful it could be to love someone. I needed to know where she stood.
“Becky,” I continued, my voice steady despite the turmoil I felt, “I’m not even sure I have a whole heart to offer you. You have a bright future ahead of you, one I’d hate to spoil with my brokenness. But if you’ll have me, I would like… like to explore a relationship with you. I need to know... do you want this? Do you want us to be... in a relationship?” My heart pounded in my chest as I waited for her response, hoping against hope that she felt the same way I did.