17. Miso Soup
MISO SOUP
*strive for balance over strength of flavor.
T his time, when Lucas suggested I take the private cabin on the jet, I accepted without argument.
Not just because we had to travel twenty-eight hours to get to Tokyo from Brazil.
Not because things had been awkward since Daniel had interrupted that almost kiss at the state dinner.
And not because Lucas spent the rest of the evening dancing with three other women before he locked himself in a room with two presidents and the CEO of a cattle company and didn’t come out until two in the morning.
No, I took the private cabin because I wanted to sleep .
Was I feeling petty and bitter?
Yes.
But pragmatism took precedence.
As a result, when we arrived in Tokyo more than a full day after leaving S?o Paulo, I felt relatively bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as I followed Lucas off the plane.
He had raccoon-level dark circles under his eyes, and his crooked tie was already loosened as he barked into his phone and disappeared into a waiting SUV with his security team.
“ Konnichi wa ,” Robbie drawled as I sat beside him in the back seat of the other waiting car. “Welcome to the land of the rising sun.” He passed me a canned coffee, eyes twinkling behind his sunglasses.
“You saint,” I said after I drank half. “I think Lucas needed this more than me, though. I slept most of the way.”
“He has a cooler full of them in his car. What did you do to him? I haven’t seen him that jacked up since the Kawasaki deal imploded and he tried to out-negotiate a samurai.” He leaned closer. “Spoiler: the samurai won.”
I couldn’t help but laugh as I downed the rest of the coffee.
“Jet lag?”
“Manageable.”
“Good. Because I’ve already scouted the best izakaya in Shibuya, figured out how to order grilled squid without accidentally joining a crime syndicate, and located the world’s tiniest jazz bar.
Lucas-san is spending his first night in the city before joining us at the ryokan, so we’ve got a day to ourselves. You up for an adventure?”
I blinked. Normally, I’d say no. I’d ask to see my room, cower there for several days, binge Netflix, and pretend the world didn’t exist until I figured out a way to cope with it.
But now, all I could see was that stupid, pitying expression on Lucas’s face when I freaked out at the state dinner.
Just breathe, baby . I have you .
Fuck that. I wasn’t a baby, his or anyone else’s.
“You know what? I am,” I told Robbie. “Let’s go shopping for the week. And then I want to see something cool.”
An hour later, we had left the sprawl of Tokyo and had burrowed deep into the countryside, where ancient temples nestled between rice paddies and the sound of traffic was replaced by birds and a running river for a solid fifteen minutes before we stopped at a compound that looked copied off a Japanese woodblock print.
The ryokan—a traditional Japanese inn—was stunning. It was, Robbie informed me, a collection of wooden buildings built around a natural hot spring, connected by covered walkways and surrounding a central courtyard. The entire compound was ours.
“The owners vacated for the whole time, so we have our fill of the place. A cup of serenity, please.”
“Wow,” I breathed as I stepped out of the car and took in the paper screens and curved rooftops, gorgeous but simple landscaping that made the entire place look like it had risen out of the earth.
“My brother-in-law, Xavier, had told me about the onsens when he visited his family here, but he never described them like this. It’s incredible. So balanced with everything around it.”
“It’s gorgeous,” Robbie agreed. “Though I have to say, I was surprised when Lucas requested it.”
“Why?”
“It’s beautiful, don’t get me wrong, and you’re basically going to have a ten-day trip at the spa hanging out here.
But it’s completely impractical given his schedule.
An hour plus each way to the city for every meeting?
He’s going to spend half a day in the car.
Which means I will too.” Robbie grabbed my suitcase from the trunk, still frowning.
“He told me to book it a few days ago, even after I explained how inconvenient it would be.”
“Maybe he wanted somewhere peaceful to decompress,” I suggested, though I wasn’t sure I believed the reasoning myself.
“Maybe.” Robbie shot me a sideways look. “You wouldn’t happen to know why he’d choose somewhere so romantic, would you?”
Heat flooded my cheeks. “I would not.”
“Sure about that? Sure that red dress doesn’t have any ideas either?”
I shook my head. “Nope. Not a one.”
Robbie looked doubtful but had the good sense not to press.
Instead, he launched into a tour of the facilities, showing me the main kitchen, a beautiful blend of modern equipment and traditional design, and the various common areas before leading me to my suite.
Tatami mats covered the floors, and sliding doors opened onto a private section of the garden.
But the real treasure was the door that led directly to the onsen.
“You have private access to the hot spring,” Robbie explained, sliding open the door to reveal a stone path leading to the waters.
I peered at the pagoda, steam rising gently from within. A private spring. A mountainous backdrop. My little city heart was overflowing with gratitude.
We set off for the village an hour later, and I genuinely enjoyed the walk.
The air was crisp and clean, filled with the scent of trees and water along with the whiff of sugar Robbie said was from a bakery.
The village itself was like stepping into a scene from a movie: narrow streets lined with traditional shops, elderly women chatting outside a tea house, and temple bells sounding in the distance.
On our way, Robbie explained the new schedule, which differed significantly from the one we had in Brazil.
Lucas would be in meetings constantly, often not returning until after ten at night.
He wanted breakfast and lunch packed and ready to go by six a.m., and dinners that could be eaten cold or easily reheated.
This included some sushi, cold noodle dishes, or anything that wouldn’t suffer from sitting out.
“Anything off-limits?” I asked, though I was more than annoyed Lucas hadn’t found the time to tell me any of this during the twenty-eight hours we had spent in each other’s company.
Robbie shook his head. “He said he trusts you. Although I can tell you from experience, he didn’t love the taste of natto the last time he was here.”
Trust. That was a funny word to use.
“Basically, you’re going to have a lot more free time, you brat,” Robbie concluded as we reached the fringes of an enormous outdoor market.
The market was a revelation—noisy, chaotic, and somehow impossibly beautiful.
Stalls overflowed with jewel-toned produce and more types of seafood than I thought the ocean contained.
I wandered past crates of yuzu and shiso, marveled at vegetables I couldn’t name, and found myself face-to-face with a fishmonger slicing flounder with surgical grace.
Using halting Japanese from a phone translator and hand gestures, we pieced together a conversation.
When I pointed at a tray of scallops the size of my palm, he smiled, tapped his chest with a “Hokkaido,” and offered me one raw on the shell.
The sweet, briny flavor exploded on my tongue, and for a moment I forgot who I was supposed to be—shy, reformed wallflower Marie Zola with a crush on her boss’s brother and somehow also her boss too—and just let myself be .
A woman in a foreign town, discovering something unexpectedly perfect.
That in and of itself was the most perfect thing of all.
“Japan!” Lea shouted when I got back to the ryokan and had a moment to FaceTime with her while I prepped food for the week. “God, Marie, you’re living like a queen. Look at that place!”
Her face appeared on my laptop screen, looking tired but smiling, though I could see the strain around her eyes. My sister was tired, looking a lot older than her age.
“ Arigato, ” I repeated one of the few phrases I’d learned today as I angled the laptop so she could see more of the room. “Seriously, though, it’s fantastic. I wish you were here with me. It’s pure serenity, this place, and I know you need some.”
Lea sighed. “Do I ever.”
Something in her voice made me look at her more closely. “What’s going on?”
Lea’s smile wavered. “No, I’m not gonna?—”
“Spill it,” I ordered. “I might not be able to do anything about it from here, but at least I can listen. What is it?”
She sighed. “I got laid off yesterday.”
“From the bookkeeping job?”
She nodded. “Yeah. No surprise, I guess, but I’m still pissed.”
I knew my sister well enough to know that the disappointment I heard wasn’t for love of crunching numbers, but with herself. “Lea, I’m so sorry. What happened?”
“I asked for a sick day one too many times because MJ got strep throat again . There’s always something.” She tried to look unconcerned, but I could see how much it affected her. Lea was not the type of person who accepted failure. Ever. “It’s okay. I’ll find something else.”
“Are you going to be okay financially? I could probably ask Lucas if you could work at Prideview or maybe at his apartment?—”
“I’m fine,” Lea cut me off quickly. “There’s enough to keep me and the kids afloat for another few months at least. And I’ve already started applying for other positions. Something will come up.”
I wanted to argue, but I knew that look on her face. Lea’s pride was a fortress, and pushing would only make her retreat further.
“How are the kids doing now that school has started?” I asked instead.
Lea heaved another exhausted sigh. “Tommy’s already been in two fights.
He was suspended two days into the school year.
His teacher thinks he’s depressed, but they can’t do anything for him either.
I mean, yeah, of course the kid’s depressed.
His dad just died.” She rubbed a hand roughly over her face.
“He just misses Mike so much, Marie. We all do. And I don’t know how to help him. I don’t know how to help my own son!”
The pain in her voice broke my heart. “Lea…”
“I’ve been thinking more seriously about leaving the city.” Her words coming faster now, like she needed to get them all out.
“You told me that before, but I thought it was going to be Chicago or maybe Pennsylvania. Joni mentioned you applied somewhere in Utah?”
“God, she’s such a gossip. But…yeah, maybe? I saw another thing in Iowa that looked kind of interesting.”
“Iowa? What would you do there?”
“Manage a business, just like I did here. Run a house. People in small towns like families, right? Maybe if I move someplace in the middle of nowhere, the people will be a little more forgiving of a single mom with four kids.”
She sounded bitter. Like it was her last resort.
I wished she would take some money from our wealthier siblings, but I knew it wasn’t even worth my time to suggest it.
“I wish I could be there for you,” was all I could say.
“You are,” Lea replied, managing a wobbly smile. “Like you said, you’re listening. And you’re not judging like everyone else is. Joni said I was just watching too much Yellowstone , the little brat.”
I smirked. “Well, you would make a hell of a Beth.”
She snorted. “Beth couldn’t even have kids. Beth would laugh at someone like me.”
“I think she’d probably kick someone’s ass for you. Just like we all would.”
At that, she had to look away for a few seconds and wipe a tear from her eye. “Some days, I don’t feel very strong. I feel weak. Like all the freaking time, I feel so weak.”
I wanted to jump through the computer and give her a hug.
“I get it. I really do. I feel weak all the time too…” I trailed off as I realized that wasn’t true.
Not lately. Not anymore. “Maybe going away would be good for you after all. Maybe what you need is to get out of your comfort zone. Jar yourself into something new.”
Lea looked at me again, her expression caught between exhaustion and hope. “Yeah.” She sighed. “Maybe.”
There was a pause. Not awkward—just full. Heavy with the weight of everything we weren’t saying.
“Well,” she added, “right now, you’ll have to run away for both of us.”
I opened my mouth, but she held up a hand.
“No, listen—while you’re out there being brave, do it all. Eat the weirdest food. Get lost and don’t panic. Have an affair with someone too beautiful to trust. Do everything you think you’re not supposed to before it’s too late.”
I let out a soft laugh, but she didn’t smile. Her eyes were serious.
“Don’t just see it for you now, Mimi. See it for me. Do it all for me. Please?”
That did me in.
“I will,” I promised thickly. “I swear.”
After we said our goodbyes, I sat in the quiet, phone warm in my hand, her voice still echoing in my head.
Outside, Japan shimmered like another world waiting to be cracked open. Bright, strange, full of stories I hadn’t lived yet.
See it for me.
Maybe this time, I would.