Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
Kira
Days go by and Enzo keeps his distance from me. He’s icing me out, I realize after I try to talk with him and he only ignores me. It’s petty and annoying but what else can I expect from my controlling, asshole husband?
The only problem is: it makes me go stir-crazy. Enzo isn’t letting me leave the house ‘for my protection’ as he claims but I think it’s just to punish me for ‘stealing’ his sister away, when I was only trying to help her.
I can’t take it a moment longer.
When Enzo leaves for work, I know I have to get out of here. Fortunately, he doesn’t keep me locked away in the upstairs room but I do have to contend with his guards at every corner of the house, making it impossible to sneak away.
So I decide to say, ‘fuck it’ and just go.
I grab a pair of car keys hanging on a hook by the front door and go into the garage – which is filled with five cars, all of them more expensive than some peoples’ houses.
I get into the Ferrari, open the garage door, and drive out before the guards can stop me. They’ll call Enzo and he’ll be upset but I don’t care. I did nothing wrong with Gianna. I shouldn’t be punished for it and I’m not going to live my life controlled by Enzo.
It doesn’t matter that he touched me and showed me pleasure in ways I’ve never felt before. It doesn’t matter that I want to desperately kiss him again. It doesn’t matter that I also want to slap him for everything he’s done to my family.
I just want to be free.
I don’t bring my phone with me since Enzo can track it. Though knowing him, he probably has a tracker on every one of his cars, so I’ll need to ditch this one soon.
I decide to go back to Central Park just to prove my point: that it’s safe here in the middle of the day. That Enzo was overreacting and crazy.
I leave the car parked far enough away before I head into the park. The sun is shining and the air smells crisp. It’s a perfect day.
After spending some time walking around – going to the zoo and going to the Belvedere Castle – I find myself on a quiet path in the thick of the park. There’s no one else around.
It’s then that I feel eyes on me.
Turning around, I come face to face with… Matteo.
“Oh. It’s you. How did you find me?”
Matteo frowns. “Find you? I was visiting the park today and I happened to see you, so I came over to talk.”
“So… Enzo didn’t send you?”
“No. Enzo didn’t even tell me you were gone.” He flashes me a charming smile that makes my face flush. He is distractingly handsome.
“Are you going to take me back to my husband now?”
He leans in closer. “Why would I do that? This can be our little secret.”
My heart skips a beat but for some reason, it’s not out of excitement.
It’s out of… worry. I’m not sure I want to be keeping secrets with Matteo.
I may hate my husband but Enzo is still my husband.
I took a vow and I made a promise for peace.
Keeping secrets with another man seems the opposite of that.
“I should go,” I say. “It was nice seeing you again, Matteo. But I need to head home before Enzo gets too upset.”
“That’s a shame. I thought we could spend some time together.”
“Listen, I know I flirted with you the other day but that was just to get under Enzo’s skin. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have used you like that. But I’m not interested.” If I were single, then maybe… but I can’t risk my marriage with Enzo.
“That’s not what I’ve heard about you.”
“What have you heard?”
“That you’ve been with a lot of men. I was told that you never say no.”
My spine stiffens. “I haven’t actually been with that many men. It’s just a rumor. And I always say no. I don’t like men invading my space.”
“But if you always say no, then how have you slept with any men before?”
“I just… haven’t. Ok?”
“You haven’t slept with anybody? Are you telling me you’re a virgin, Kira?”
I take a step away from him but he only steps closer. “I’m not telling you anything. I’m not a slut though, ok? And even if I have been with hundreds of men, that still wouldn’t make me a slut. I can make my own decisions. So, if you’ll excuse me…”
“If you’ve never known the touch of a man, I can show you.” He grabs my arms, halting me.
“Let me go.” I try to wiggle away but his hold only tightens.
“You played hard to get. You flirted with me. You showed interest. You’re playing a dangerous game, little girl. Don’t tempt a man like me.”
“But you’re Enzo’s friend. If you hurt his wife, he won’t like that.”
“Enzo and I are more business partners than friends. And what he doesn’t know, won’t hurt him.
” Matteo wraps his arms around me and tries to kiss me but I keep moving my face around, preventing him.
I thought Matteo was handsome when I first laid eyes on him but now I see him for who he really is: a monster.
Just like all the men in the mafia. Just like my own husband.
But to Enzo’s credit, he’s never forcibly put his hands on me. He’s never put me in this position.
Matteo lowers me to the ground and gets on top of me. I kick and I scream with everything inside of me. I will not be raped. This will not be my first sexual experience.
I deserve more.
When Matteo’s hands lower to the waistband of my jeans, I use that to my advantage. I kick him in the balls, making him groan and flinch back.
Scrambling to my feet, I run back in the direction I came. Matteo gives chase but when I leave the path and end up back near the fountain, Matteo stops. There’s too many people around.
I keep running until I make it back to the car and return home.
The guard on duty gives me a dirty look but I ignore him. The only thing I want to do is go to my bed and curl into a ball.
That’s how Enzo finds me when he returns home.
“You just had to sneak out, didn’t you?” he asks, towering over me. I curl into more of a ball and squeeze my eyes shut but that only makes me think of Matteo so I open my eyes with a gasp. “When will you learn, Kira?”
“I’m sorry,” I sob before I can stop myself. My tears hit my eyes and stream down my face. Enzo rocks back on his heels like he had been shot.
“Are you… ok?”
“Like you even care.”
He furrows his brow. “What happened? My guards told me you left and before I could find you, you came back.”
“It’s nothing.” If I tell Enzo he’s just going to lose his freaking mind. He’s going to keep me locked away forever.
“It’s not nothing. You look terrified. What happened?”
“You don’t care about me. You have made that very clear. So why do you want to know?”
“Fine. Don’t tell me. But if you think I don’t care for you at all, Kira, then you’re blind.”
I force myself to look him in the eye. “You don’t care for me.”
“I wouldn’t have married you if I didn’t care for you. I saw a vulnerable girl when I first met you and I’m seeing it again. You can tell me what happened.”
“Do you really think I’m a slut?” I whisper. “Does it bother you if I’ve been with other men?”
“I don’t think you’re a slut. I’ve never thought that. I would be a hypocrite if I judged you for sleeping around when I’ve done the same thing. Do I like that you’ve been with other men? I’m a little possessive, so no. But I don’t think you’re a slut.”
“Everyone thinks that because I let them think it. I’m not a slut. Not at all.”
Slowly, he sits down beside me. “Ok. But you can’t leave like you did today. It’s not safe. I have enemies. You should know that. Given that you grew up with your brother and father in this life. You should know it better than anyone.”
“I know,” I snap. “I know life isn’t safe. I shouldn’t have left like I did. But you’ve been icing me out for days over what happened with Gianna. She wasn’t hurt. I didn’t want her to get hurt. I just wanted her to feel… free.”
“That’s not your decision to make.”
“And it’s not yours either. It’s hers.”
He goes quiet for a moment before he lays his hand on my arm but I pull away. The memory of Matteo grabbing me is still fresh in my mind.
“Kira. What happened?”
“I can’t,” I whisper.
“What happened?” His tone speaks to no disagreements.
“No.”
“Kira.”
“I’m a virgin,” I blurt out.
Enzo goes still. “You’re…”
“I’m not a slut. I’ve never been with a man before.”
“So why did you make me think you had been?”
“You assumed based on the fact that I like to go out to clubs and drink. But I never let a man touch me. I never wanted to risk getting pregnant. I could hide my drinking from my father but not a pregnancy. So I just… never tried. And I didn’t want you to have any power over me but I guess we’re past that point.
I’m just tired of people thinking I deserve to be treated like crap because you all think I’ve slept around.
Well, I haven’t. And even if I had, I wouldn’t deserve to be treated like crap in the first place. Now you have no excuse. I’m a virgin.”
Enzo sighs. “You’re a confusing woman, Kira.”
“And you confuse me,” I whisper.
“I confuse you?”
“You make me feel things. But I hate you. It doesn’t make any sense. I shouldn’t trust you and yet…” I trust Enzo more than I do Matteo. In fact, all I have is Enzo right now, given that he’s my husband. I don’t belong to my brother and father any more.
“I don’t think you deserve to have bad things happen to you,” he admits. “Whether you’ve slept with anybody or not. So tell me what happened. I can tell something bad happened.”
“You can’t stand me.”
“That’s true. But I’m also fascinated by you. So tell me.”
I look into my husband’s eyes and all I want is to trust him but what if he doesn’t believe me? What if he chooses Matteo over me? What if he can’t ever look at me the same way?
“Can you hold me?” I whisper instead.
Enzo’s eyes widen before he gently pulls me into his arms. I never knew he had the power to act this way. The ability to be gentle.
“Kira, tell me.”
“It doesn’t matter. I just want to feel safe.” I want to feel safe with Enzo. I’m tired of fighting him all the time. I’m tired of fighting for everything my entire life. I just want to be at peace. I want to be accepted for who I really am.
Enzo tightens his arms around me. “You are safe with me.”
“I want to believe it.”
“Then believe it. I’m not going to hurt you. I’m not going to start a war with your family. I said my vows and I meant them.”
For the first time since meeting Enzo, I allow myself to be truly vulnerable before him and I sink deeper into his arms.