Chapter 12 #2
On impulse, I pinch her clit lightly between my thumb and index finger. That's all it takes for her to come. She screams, the walls of her pussy clenching on my cock, hard. Her head is thrown back, her wings vibrating behind her, her whole body going taut before she collapses forward onto my chest.
I follow her over the edge, my arms wrapping around her to hold her close as we both shudder through our release.
Afterward, we lie together in the quiet, my hand tracing lazy patterns on Rika's back, my other arm pillowed beneath my head. My heart is still racing. Heck, it's probably the best sex of my entire life.
"Rika," I hear myself say, my voice soft and a little rough. "That was amazing. You're amazing."
I've never felt or shared anything so powerful with anyone. I don't know how to say this to her without sounding like an idiot or scaring her away.
"This was great." Rika laughs and shakes her head. "This was exactly what I needed. It's been so long since I had sex like this."
Oh. The words knock the air from my lungs. My hand stills on her back, my entire body going rigid as the warmth in my chest turns to ice.
Was this just sex to her? Just scratching an itch with someone available?
Rika seems to sense the shift, lifting her head to look at me with a small, uncertain smile.
"I mean, that's okay, right? We're both adults. We can enjoy this without making it complicated."
Her tone is easy, casual, like we didn't just share something that rearranged my entire concept of what sexual pleasure can be. I force myself to smile back, though it feels like my face might crack.
"Yeah. Of course. Uncomplicated. That's good."
But inside, something is breaking. I don't know why I thought it would be any different. It's not like we're dating or made any promises to each other. I just happened to find her masturbating and she invited me to join in the fun.
She doesn't owe me anything. I don't really have any right to expect any emotional involvement from her. Her life is complicated enough as it is.
But the realization still stings worse than I want to admit. Because all I want is to crawl into bed with her and stay there forever. And I know it will be completely impossible to do with no strings attached. Not with the way I feel.
Rika seems satisfied with my response, settling back against my chest with a contented sigh. I lie there, staring at the ceiling, my arm still around her but my mind a thousand miles away.
"Noah," she starts, and her fingers trace a slow line over my ribs as she seems to ponder what she will say. "I need you to hear me, okay?"
I nod, already bracing for the part where she tells me this was a mistake.
"My kids come first," she says softly, like it's a promise she's made to herself a thousand times. "Always. And I can't disrupt their lives, not right now. Not because I—" She swallows, eyes flicking to my mouth and then away. "Not because I lost my mind for an afternoon."
My hand stills on her back anyway. Not because I'm angry, but because I'm trying not to show how much I want her. How much it matters.
Rika lifts her head, searching my face with that small, uncertain smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes.
"I mean, that's okay, right? It has to be." Her laugh is quick and nervous. "We need to keep whatever this is between just us for now. And if you don't want it to be more than that, it's okay, too."
I blow out a breath, slow and controlled, and force my voice to stay steady.
"Rika," I say, and I wait until she looks at me. "I get it."
She blinks, like she expected a fight.
"The kids come first," I add, and the words feel simple because they're true. "But I also need you to hear me when I say that this isn't just casual sex. At least, not for me."
Some of the tension in her shoulders eases, but her eyes stay cautious.
"You say that now," she murmurs. "But I'm messy. My life is messy. And you, you're—" She makes a wide gesture that seems to encompass all of me. "You could have anyone you want. So I guess I don't know why you would want someone like me."
"There is no one I want more than you," I say quietly. "You need to believe me when I say this. You're beautiful and strong and you're an amazing mother. You're the whole package, Rika."
Rika's throat works as she swallows. She looks pleased but nervous too, like she doesn't trust what I'm saying.
I shift slightly, just enough to catch her gaze again.
"I've never felt like this for anyone," I admit.
The words come out bare, terrifying. "Not like this.
It's more than just the sex, although the sex is great.
" I huff a quiet laugh, because I sound insane.
"I want to give this a real shot. No pressure.
I'm not asking you to decide anything tonight. But I want you. For real."
Rika stares at me, lips parted. For a heartbeat, she doesn't move.
Then her lashes lower, and she nods once. Her lips lift in a tiny smile, almost shy.
"Okay," she whispers, and there's something in her voice that makes my chest ache. "I can go for real."
I exhale like I've been holding my breath for years. Rika shifts against me and lets out a tiny squeaky cry when I move fast, trapping her underneath me.
She's so beautiful like this. Her blue hair spread on the pillow, her dazzling blue eyes wide and dark, pupils dilated. Her cheeks flushed.
Mine. I know it's crazy. I know we've only had sex once. But I want Rika Everdeen to be mine with every fiber of my being.
I lean in, closing my mouth on hers. Her lips part and her breath mingles with mine, my body lighting up with desire all over again.
Then her phone rings.
I groan as she breaks the kiss. I want to tell her to ignore it, but I know she won't.
"Let's hope it's just work so I can tell them to get lost," Rika jokes as I move so she can stretch and retrieve it from the nightstand.
As she sees the name on the screen, her face scrunches up in annoyance. I move away, allowing her to sit.
"What do you want, Mitchell?" Her tone is ice-cold, and I'll be damned if it doesn't turn me on some more.
Angry Rika is sexy as fuck. My mind wanders to all the wicked things I could do with her after she hangs up.
Then I sober up when her expression goes from annoyed to alarmed.
"What?" A pause. "What do you mean, you're in my driveway?"
She hangs up, and she scrambles for her underwear, then shoots me a glance over her shoulder.
"The kids are here. Mitchell brought them back early."
And then it's my turn to scramble for my clothes.