Chapter 16
Noah
The microwave counts down with a series of soft beeps, and I watch the growing bag spin through the glass like I'm waiting for a damn oracle to deliver my fortune.
Three… two… one.
The popcorn bag swells to its limit, threatening to burst, and I yank the door open just as the timer runs its course. Steam billows out, carrying that buttery, salty smell that means movie night in houses across the country.
I pour the popcorn into the big blue bowl and I feel it again.
That dangerous, terrifying sense of belonging.
Like this is my life. My kitchen. My family waiting in the living room.
Like I could actually keep this.
I know better. I understand that Rika and I just started our relationship, if we can even call it a relationship. I'm fully aware of how complicated Rika's life is, how much pressure she's under. How many things could still go wrong.
But I fell for her and there's no going back. I've known this from the moment I kissed her on her front porch, wine-tipsy and needy.
I've never been one to believe in fate or soul mates. After all, humans are not werewolves or orcs or any of the Other species who claim to find love only once in their lives.
And yet when I close my eyes at night, all I can see is Rika's face. Rika's smile and Rika's eyes when they crinkle at the corners from amusement.
All I can feel is Rika's lips on mine, Rika's body under mine.
I'm gone and I'm gone for good. All I can hope now is that I'm not going to get my heart broken. Because I'm afraid I'll never get the pieces back together if I do.
I know all this and I'm aware of the risks. After all, it's been two whole weeks since Zoe ran away from her dance class and Rika and I made up. Two whole weeks of sneaking around at night like teenagers, two whole weeks of stealing kisses and exchanging heated glances when the kids aren't looking.
Two whole weeks of flirting by text and waiting for her to sneak down to my apartment. Two whole weeks of hearing the family I love living upstairs after I've gone home and wishing I could be there with them. Wishing they could all be mine.
But standing here in Rika's kitchen on a Friday night, listening to Zoe and Matthew bickering good-naturedly about which streaming service has the better superhero movies, it's getting harder to remember that I'm supposed to keep my heart in check.
That I'm supposed to give Rika space and time to process her feelings.
Tonight is a step in a good direction. It's the first time I'm joining the family for a movie night. I hope it's a sign that Rika is getting closer to announcing our relationship to Zoe and Matthew.
The kitchen door swings open and Rika breezes in, her pale-blue wings doing that little flutter they do when she's moving fast. She's changed into yoga pants and an oversized cardigan that slips off one shoulder, and her hair is pulled up in a messy knot that makes me want to pull the elastic free and run my fingers through it.
"Is the popcorn ready?" she asks, moving toward the counter. "Because Zoe is threatening a full-scale mutiny if we don't start the movie in the next—"
I catch her wrist gently and pull her to me, cutting off her words with my mouth.
She melts into me immediately, her lips parting with a soft sound that goes straight to my cock. I kiss her slowly, thoroughly, tasting the wine she had with dinner and something sweeter underneath. It really is adorable that she has such a sweet tooth.
When I pull back, her eyes are dark and dazed, her cheeks flushed.
"What was that for?" she breathes.
"Because I can," I say simply. "And because I've been wanting to do that since you walked in the door two hours ago."
Her smile is small and pleased and a little shy. "The kids are right in the other room."
"I know." I grin. "That's why I'm stopping now."
She swats my chest playfully, but her eyes are warm.
"Are you coming down to my place tonight?" The invitation is casual, but there's heat underneath. "After the kids are asleep?"
My pulse kicks up like it does every time I think about having Rika all to myself.
"Sir, are you asking me for company or is this some indecent proposal?" she says primly, but her mouth twitches and her pupils dilate.
I lean in close, my lips brushing her ear. "I have every intention of being completely and totally indecent with you."
"Noah!" She laughs and shoves me away. "How scandalous!"
"Positively scandalous," I repeat, grinning. "And very indecent."
She rolls her eyes, but she's smiling as she takes the popcorn bowl.
"I'll take that as a yes."
"Wait." I catch her hand before she can escape. "There's a condition."
Her eyebrows lift. "Oh?"
"You have to give me your vote for the movie tonight."
Rika's mouth drops open in mock outrage. "That's cheating!"
"All's fair in love and movie night," I say solemnly.
"That's not how the saying goes."
"It is now."
She narrows her eyes at me, but I can see the laughter bubbling underneath. "Fine. I’ll side with you on movie choice. But I get to pick what we do later."
Heat floods my body at the implication. "Deal."
I seal it with another kiss, this one deeper, my hand cupping the back of her neck. Rika makes a soft, needy sound and presses closer, and for a moment I forget we're supposed to be keeping this secret.
Then Zoe's voice carries through from the living room. "Are you guys making the popcorn or growing it from scratch?"
We break apart, both breathing hard, and Rika's face is bright red.
"Coming!" she calls back, her voice only slightly unsteady.
I grab the popcorn bowl and follow Rika into the living room where Zoe and Matthew are already sprawled on the couch, arguing over the blankets. The coffee table is covered with snacks: candy, chips, juice boxes for Matthew, and a bottle of wine Rika and I will share.
"Finally!" Zoe announces dramatically. "I was about to file a missing persons report."
"Sorry, sorry." I set the popcorn bowl down in the center. "Your mom was negotiating popcorn distribution rights."
Rika shoots me a look but doesn't contradict me.
Matthew immediately lunges for the bowl, and I intercept him gently, ruffling his green hair. "Easy, buddy. There's enough for everyone."
We settle in. Matthew sits on my left, Zoe on Rika's right, Rika in the middle, close enough that our legs touch under the blanket. The opening credits roll, and Matthew snuggles into my side with Mr. Gears tucked under his arm.
And I feel myself falling just a little more. I want this to be mine. I want Matthew's weight against me, I want to hear Zoe laughing at a joke on-screen.
It feels like a family.
My family.
And God, I want it to be real.
The movie ends just after nine, and the bedtime routine unfolds with all the chaos a late-night movie incurs.
Matthew drags his feet about brushing his teeth until I challenge him to a "who can make the biggest toothpaste foam" contest. He wins, of course, foam dripping down his chin as he grins triumphantly at his reflection.
Zoe rolls her eyes but she's smiling as she heads to her room, clutching her phone even though she knows it'll be turned off by parental controls in ten minutes.
I do the usual checks: nightlight on for Matthew, window cracked for Zoe, water glasses filled, Mr. Gears positioned just right.
"Night, Noah," Matthew murmurs sleepily, already half-asleep.
"Night, buddy."
Zoe's door is cracked open, and I pause outside. "You good?"
"Yeah." She looks up from her book. "Thanks for tonight. It was fun."
"Anytime, Zoe."
I close her door quietly and head downstairs.
Rika is cleaning up the living room, folding blankets and stacking bowls. She looks up when I appear, and the soft smile she gives me makes my chest ache.
"They're down," I tell her.
"Good." She sets the last bowl on the coffee table. "I'll be down in twenty minutes."
"I'll be waiting."
I'm in my apartment for maybe ten minutes when the knock comes. I open the door and pull her inside, my mouth finding hers before the door even closes.
She gasps against my lips, her hands fisting in my shirt, and I back her against the wall, kissing her like I've been starving for her all night.
Because I have been.
"Missed you," I murmur against her throat.
"You saw me twenty minutes ago." She laughs breathlessly.
"Twenty minutes too long."
I kiss her again, slower this time, savoring the taste of her, the feel of her body pressed against mine. Her wings flutter behind her, the tips brushing my arms, and I groan.
"I need to grab you something to drink or we'll just have sex and sleep," I say reluctantly, pulling back. "I want to savor being with you tonight. What do you want? Wine? Beer?"
"Wine sounds perfect."
I head toward the kitchenette, leaving Rika by the small dining table. My phone sits there, face up, and I'm halfway to the fridge when it buzzes loudly.
"Your phone's going off," Rika calls.
I glance back and see the notification lighting up the screen as Rika holds up the phone for me. My lips lift when I see the name: Sharnia Jarvis. It's been a few weeks since I last heard from them, and that warm, familiar squeeze hits me right in the chest.
"That's Sharnia Jarvis, the mom from my last nanny placement." I grab two wineglasses from the cabinet. I can't help the grin. "Sharnia loves sending me videos of her and the kids. Little updates. It's her thing."
Rika's smile turns soft and cozy at this.
"Go ahead and play it," I tell her. "You'll see. Those kids are adorable, you'll love them."
The video starts. Sharnia fills the frame, close up, warm light on her copper-gold scaled cheeks, her hair piled messily on top of her head.
I just know she's been wrangling the twins all day and she's exhausted.
Then I frown. There's no Derryn, no kids climbing into the camera, no chaos.
Just her. She looks excited as she holds the phone to record her video.