CHAPTER TWELVE
CLARA
Three days passed without seeing Nash or hearing much from him.
And as his current staged girlfriend en route to being his legal-yet-fake wife, I was going crazy.
Nearly every half hour I thought of him and those soul-stealing kisses he’d given me in the foyer after our lunch on Wednesday.
How hard he’d been. I wanted to see if he’d give me another one of those dazzling, genuine smiles again, the kind that squeezed my heart and threatened to knock me head over heels.
He’d sent a text on Wednesday evening explaining that he’d had some major project complications arise and he’d be focusing on that for the next few days. Which meant that the dinner he’d planned for Friday was now moved to Saturday. Fine by me. Whatever Nash wanted, Nash would get.
Especially if it was more of those kisses.
I lingered around my kitchen on Friday afternoon before I went to go pick Mia up from daycare.
I’d been focusing on deep cleaning and reorganizing my space.
It was incredible how many things I’d been trying to get to—and never ended up doing—throughout the years.
Now that I was financially stable and mildly unemployed, it was time for a life refresh.
But damnit, I couldn’t stop thinking about Nash.
I reached for my phone, wondering if now would be the right time to send that cute and coy check-in text.
But you’re not actually in a relationship with him. He’s not expecting you to reach out. Are you already getting too attached to this man? So soon? How are you going to make it to the end of the nine months if you’re already acting like this?
I set my phone down with a sigh. It was probably better not to reach out. Even though I had so many questions. What type of project complication? Was he okay? Could I help?
But what if the committee needs proof that I care?
I reached for my phone again, started tapping out a text…and then deleted it all.
“It’s not like the High Council of Marriage Validity is going to be analyzing our texts,” I explained to the jade plant that I began inspecting. It had nothing to add. I frowned, contemplating the rug in the kitchen. “Unless they will be?”
I grabbed my phone and finally sent the message I’d started and deleted five times that day.
CLARA: Hope you’re doing okay. Let me know if I can help. Thinking of you.
This time when I set the phone down, I let out a big whoosh of air.
It was innocent, neutral, thoughtful. It didn’t betray the fact that I’d been masturbating nightly to the memory of Nash’s kisses, imagining what might have happened if we’d not stopped the make-out session.
Each time I thought about his hand scorching its way up the side of my body, venturing dangerously close to my breast, my thighs clenched.
His eyes had shone with hunger, and that wasn’t something he could fake. That wasn’t for show.
Or was it?
I groaned, deciding to return to the task I’d abandoned from earlier: organizing my bedroom closet. As I situated myself in the mess of purses and sandals and leggings, my thoughts drifted back to Nash and to what felt like an impossible dilemma.
Our relationship was fake but the chemistry was real.
Too real.
Wednesday’s kisses proved it. And now I was reduced to using the shower head massager every night as I gasped his name into the steam, coming undone to memories of his hands tracing my curves, his tongue searching out mine, his powerful, commanding presence utterly consuming me.
My phone rang, jostling me out of my thoughts. I gasped, the phone slipping out of my hands in my rush to peer at the screen. Please be Nash.
It was Zoey, which was next best.
“Hello, my best friend,” I crooned as I answered the phone, putting it on speaker. “I’m so glad you called. I need a distraction.”
“Oooh, everything okay?”
I opened my mouth but paused before anything could spill out.
Zoey knew about Nash, but hadn’t met him yet, and I couldn’t say what was truly eating at me due to the NDA.
“I’ve just been focusing on some housework and getting some paperwork done.
I don’t think I told you yet—I’m looking into going back to school! ”
Zoey gasped. “Seriously? I know you’ve been wanting to since Mia started going somewhat regularly to daycare. But I thought funds were always the issue. Did you find a scholarship?”
I paused, wondering how to explain the sudden windfall without mentioning it directly. “Not exactly. But I have a very generous benefactor.”
Zoey gasped. “Wait, is this made possible by your new boyfriend?”
I giggled. She wasn’t completely wrong. It was Nash’s money that allowed my free time, even though he wasn’t exactly involved in the process. “You could say that.”
“That’s exciting. And kind of hot. This is mild sugar daddy territory.”
“Yeah, it kind of is. Except I want to have sex with him,” I teased, “I’m not just doing it for the money.
” I was doing other things for the money, but we wouldn’t get into that now.
Instead, I gave her a quick rundown of my application to the master’s program and how I’d been working on analyzing select properties for the green space portfolio that needed to accompany my application.
“It sounds awesome. Oh, and speaking of new boyfriends,” she said, something conspiratorial in her voice, “are you in the mood for some juicy gossip? About yourself?”
My stomach dropped. “Uhhh, what do you mean?”
“You and your mysterious billionaire boyfriend made headlines, girlfriend!” The squeal accompanying her words told me maybe the gossip wasn’t all bad. “Haley Reeves posted about you!”
I stared at the messy contents of my closet for what felt like ten minutes. “She did?”
“Check your Instagram. Like, immediately. I just saw it when I was online. She tagged the restaurant that you and Nash went to earlier this week. Oh my God, does this mean you’re famous now?”
My hands trembled as I swiped through my phone to pull up Instagram and look at Haley’s account.
There it was—a post from two hours ago with multiple photos.
The main image was of Nash and me at our table, his hand covering mine.
Another grainy photo showed us in the foyer, Nash's hands cupping my face just before our kiss.
The caption read: "Spotted: Billionaire developer Nash Nightingale and his mystery Cinderella having an intimate lunch at Axis this week. Sources say this is getting SERIOUS. Deep dive coming soon! #BillionaireDating #CinderellaStory #CoupleGoals"
"Oh my God," I breathed.
"Clara, you undersold him!" Zoey practically shrieked. "When you said he was handsome, I was not prepared for that level of devastation. And the way he's looking at you in these photos? Girl, that man is gone for you."
I stared at the photos, my heart pounding. Nash did look at me like he was completely smitten. If I didn't know better, I'd believe it myself.
“This is so weird,” I finally said with a small laugh. “I mean, I knew dating someone like him was going to be a change, but…I don’t know. I might never get used to this.”
“Do photographers follow him around?” Zoey asked, and I could hear the awe in her voice.
“Not that I know of.” I couldn’t take my eyes off the photo of us inside Axis.
God, I wanted to be that woman. For real.
Not for money. Something painful wrenched inside my chest and I had to close Instagram.
"We do have to think about the paparazzi a bit, though. Or rather, he does. They don’t care about me, they just want to know who’s with him. ”
“You said he has a single brother, right?” I could practically see the comical way that she’d raise her brows with that question.
I laughed. “He does. You’ll meet him, I promise.”
“But when? And I want to meet Nash too! Jeez, you guys have been together how long? Less than a month? I know it’s early but girl, I need to meet this guy. I’m officially demanding an introduction.”
My chest tightened. Introducing Zoey to Nash was inevitable, but I wasn’t looking forward to it.
I had never been dishonest with Zoey, and this facade was inherently dishonest. It was easy to perform in front of the rest of the world, but in front of my best friend?
I squeezed my eyes shut. Maybe someday I’d be able to explain it all to her.
But for now, there was no way around them meeting—not if I wanted to maintain any semblance of normalcy in my friendship.
“Let’s do a dinner soon,” I blurted.
“I would love that! Maybe this weekend?”
“Yeah…maybe Saturday. I’ll text him while we’re on the phone.” I swiped to my phone messages, seeing that my text to Nash had been read a half hour ago with no response. I tried not to think about that as I tapped out another message to him.
CLARA: My best friend Zoey saw the Haley Reeves post and is demanding to meet you. What if we invite her to the get-together tomorrow?
While we waited for a response from Nash, Zoey continued peppering me with questions.
“Have things been going well with him?”
“Yeah.” I could hear the lack of enthusiasm in my voice. “It’s just…well…things can get intense with him.”
“Intense how?”
I let out a breath, mulling over my words.
“The chemistry is absolute fire. But I just worry about…the future.” I nibbled on my lip as I decided to tone the truth down a bit so I didn’t reveal anything about the contract or our arrangement.
“He’s so handsome. He’s so successful. I don’t think he’ll stick around for someone like me. ”
“Oh, honey.” Zoey’s voice softened. “This is because of that fucker Preston cheating on you, isn’t it?”
“No, it’s not—”
“Preston was a major asshole who never deserved you. But you can't let his cheating make you afraid of good things. You deserve a handsome man who sweeps you off your feet.”
Her words felt like a spear through my heart. Because she was right. I wanted that. But that’s not what I was getting from Nash. Looking at me like I was the center of his world was just the means to an end.
My phone buzzed with a response.
NASH: I’d love for her to join us. Tell her my chef is gonna rock her world. Can’t wait to meet her.
I relayed the message to Zoey and she squealed again.
“He has a fricking chef? Oh my God. This is next level. Tell this man I cannot wait to meet him and I am sooo single and available for any brother he wants to throw my way.”
I giggled as I typed out a response. “We’ll see about that last part.”
CLARA: She’s so excited and wants to meet Archer specifically. Could be a good meet-up in case he’s looking for a convenient girlfriend or anything….
NASH: I’ll see if I can convince him to drop in.
NASH: And hey, dinner with the best friend is a great idea. You were perfect at lunch the other day. We can do it all over again.
My insides froze as I read that last text from him, some mixture of deep longing and arousal turning to concrete inside me.
Do it all over again.
Throw myself back into that confusing, sexy, psychological mess all over again.
“Nash says he’ll try to convince Archer to drop in,” I said, trying to keep my voice normal. “And then he sent some other things I can’t repeat.”
Zoey giggled. “I bet he did. Just tell me—is the sex amazing?”
My eyes fluttered shut. I could answer this one honestly, even if it came from data I’d collected four years ago. “Absolutely fucking life changing.”
Zoey and I chatted awhile longer—about where Nash lived, what she should wear, what his office was like—until I needed to get ready to pick up Mia. I assessed my closet, still unorganized, but now in an even bigger mess on the floor instead of tucked behind the doors, and sighed.
“What am I doing?” I asked the mess.
My summer clothing pile had no guidance, but my deep-seated anxieties were clearer than ever.
I was living my dream life—beautiful clothes, amazing restaurants, a gorgeous man who looked at me like I hung the moon. But I was just an actor playing the heroine. My character was Clara-in-love-with-Nash, but the problem was that the actor was wondering where reality began and the facade ended.
And somehow, having everything I'd ever wanted right here in front of me stung worse than never getting it at all.