CHAPTER TWENTY #2
"You don't know that. You never thought he’d try picking Mia up at daycare, either. Please think about it. You'd have your own space. Mia would have her own room. You could even have your own bedroom if you wanted. Plus it’s like a fortress. Preston would never make it to my front door. He wouldn’t even make it into the building. "
I wanted to argue. But he was right. My apartment suddenly felt vulnerable. But leaving this space exposed us to a whole different level of vulnerability—falling so deep into Nash and his world that we’d have nowhere left to go come December 31.
Right now, I didn’t know which threat was worse.
"I'll think about it," I said quietly.
Nash came over to me and kissed my forehead. I let myself lean into him for just a moment. He was solid. Safe. He felt like home, no matter how much the thought scared me.
Tears pricked at my eyes, a stark reminder I needed to steer the day back into a safe zone.
“I’m going to spend the rest of the day getting myself back into school mode,” I told Nash, pushing up onto my tiptoes to give him a quick, decisive kiss. “I need to finalize my portfolio.”
“You sure?” He squeezed my hips, and I could see desire flash through his gaze.
“Yes. I need to finish my green space suggestions for the final property, and then I’ll be ready to submit it. And we have that big event tomorrow night, so I know I won’t do anything tomorrow with how busy the day will be getting ready.”
He cocked a grin. “I can’t wait to see you in the newest dress.”
“I can’t wait for it to show up magically at my door.”
“Tomorrow will be a big night. I’m going to confront the commissioner directly about the Gideon Hotel permits. He’s seen all the evidence I compiled. Now it’s time to pressure him.”
I grinned up at him. “And I can’t wait to be there when it happens.”
He took my chin between his thumb and forefinger. I could tell he didn’t want to leave. “Thanks for the brilliant idea.” He gave me a soft, meaningful kiss before he said, “Call me if you need anything.”
“I will. I promise.”
Nash headed over to Mia, who was playing with her dragon figurines inside the giant doll house, and bent down to kiss the top of her head. “I’ll see you later, little dragon.”
Mia gave Nash a big hug, but once the door closed behind him, she started to pout.
“Where Naff?”
My belly flopped. I’d heard this question roughly a hundred times since returning home from Big Sur. Our week together had gotten her used to his constant presence. But I didn’t want her expecting him around all the time.
Keeping this a part-time arrangement had been my goal at the onset, but now it made more sense to join households.
And that made me feel somehow like I’d failed.
Keeping our lives separate was meant to protect Mia from getting attached to someone who planned to leave us in a few short months. It seemed it was far too late for that.
I did my best to ignore the dilemma the only way I knew how: unending busywork.
I cleaned the apartment. I finished unpacking from the trip.
I organized the bathroom. I online shopped for new pots for the plants.
And then I finally did what I said I’d do—worked on my portfolio for my application to the green urban planning master’s degree program.
Mia and I had a quiet, sweet evening. It felt just like old times, but with one major difference—I was missing Nash the entire time.
I sent him cute pictures of us having dinner, and he sent me back two pictures: one of 2 empty place settings at his big dining room table with the caption Waiting for you two next time; and then a second photo that was just for me, a tatted forearm selfie that read Too pornographic?
That set off a series of increasingly inappropriate selfies that ended with my first ever bona fide experience with phone sex.
So much for keeping my distance. Even when we were apart, Nash could unravel me using his voice alone.
The next morning, I opted to keep Mia home from daycare just in case Preston decided to show up looking for her again. I had my babysitter Sarah lined up to watch her that morning so I could go to all my gala-prep appointments.
By one o’clock, my nails were done and I’d gotten my hair and makeup styled to perfection. I breezed into the apartment to find Sarah sitting on the couch next to Mia, looking down at her with concern.
“Hey, guys. How was the day?”
Sarah glanced up at me, her brows drawn. “It’s been great, until just about ten minutes ago.”
Mia was lying back on the couch, looking drowsy as she held her stomach.
“What happened?” I dropped my purse on the table and hurried over.
“She just started saying her tummy hurt.”
“Oh no. Honey, are you feeling sick?” I took Mia’s little hand in mine, looking for a reaction. Mia frowned, her lids heavy.
“We had a great day until just now,” Sara said softly, patting Mia’s knee. “We played with that dollhouse so much. She ate well for lunch. But then…”
I tutted, squeezing Mia’s hand. “It’s probably another virus. I swear she gets a new one every week from daycare. Let’s just hope this is a quick bug.”
I settled up with Sarah at the door before she went on her way. Before I made it back to Mia, she started groaning.
“Mommy, I no feel good.” She pushed to sitting, her face going pale. Her jaw started doing the trembling no parent wants to see. A moment later, she vomited onto the living room rug.
“Ohhhh, dear.” I snapped into Mama mode, all thoughts other than Mia evaporating.
I helped her into the bathroom, then I worked on cleaning up the rug.
While I was cleaning up, I heard her retch a second time.
Cleaning up the first puke while overhearing the second puke in the bathroom nearly made me puke, so I took a few deep breaths. And then I carried on.
I was guessing it was a stomach virus, hopefully the twenty-four-hour variety. But I couldn’t know for sure. And continued puking was highly likely. She had a fever now and wanted me to sit beside her bed. I got a cold compress ready and sat on the floor by her side.
“I want Naff,” she said in the most pitiful voice I’d ever heard. I just stroked her head, unsure what to say.
If I’d tried to keep Mia safe from letting a new man into our hearts, this was proof that I’d failed.
She wanted him while she was sick. Nash was honored when she’d chosen him for a post-nap hug, but this was god level right here.
I checked my phone as I rubbed Mia’s back.
It was almost two thirty. Nash had planned to pick me up at four.
I knew the truth in my bones, but I was hesitant to break the news.
I couldn’t go to the event tonight with Mia like this.
There was no way. I’d asked Zoey to come over and stay with Mia tonight, but I couldn’t ask her to do that when Mia was like this, and I couldn’t leave my baby when she was feeling so awful.
On the other hand, I knew how important tonight was for Nash. It was part of his strategy to get his Gideon Hotel permit back on track. He needed to be there, and this was part of the job I signed up for. If you could even call it a job.
I kissed Mia’s head and excused myself from the bedroom, swiping through my phone to call him.
"Hey, beautiful. You getting ready?" His voice was deep and gritty, a reminder of our session last night. But I couldn’t think about that right now.
"I was. But I’m not now. I don’t think I can come tonight. Mia's sick. She spiked a fever and she’s throwing up.” I pressed a hand to my forehead, feeling all the stress and anxiety of the situation crashing over me. “I know how important tonight is for you—"
“Poor little dragon. You need to be Mia’s mama tonight. It's fine."
"It's not fine! This is the city commissioner! The permit!” All I could think about was how hard he’d been working on this. How important it was to him. “You need to be there, and you need me there, and I'm ruining everything—"
"You're not ruining anything. Mia's sick. That's more important. You don’t have to worry about this. I'll figure it out."
Tears pricked my eyes. "I'm so sorry."
"Don't apologize. Just take care of our girl. I'll check in later."
After we hung up, I felt pulled apart by the warring priorities. In being the best mom, I felt like the worst wife. Fake or not, I had obligations. But the truth was I couldn’t be anywhere but here with my baby.
I settled back in Mia’s bedroom on the floor by her bed, stroking her hair until she fell into a fitful sleep. Once I was sure she’d stay asleep, I set her up with an emergency puke pail in her room, and then went back to deep cleaning the rug. Within a half hour, there was a knock on my door.
I sat back on my heels, everything going electric inside my body. I so badly wanted it to be Nash. But what if it was Preston?
I crept to the door, peering through the peephole.
Nash.
Relief flooded my body. I pulled open the door, unable to fight a smile as I looked him up and down. Navy three-piece suit—Tom Ford, if I had to guess—with a crisp white shirt and silk tie in a slightly darker blue. He looked like he'd stepped off a magazine cover.
"What are you doing here?"
He held a bag from the pharmacy, a container of soup, and a stuffed animal. A green and purple dragon with sparkly wings. “Had to bring this over.”
"You're supposed to be at the event," I said, taking the dragon from his hands.
"I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be." He stepped inside, setting everything else on the small dining room table. "How is she?"
"Fever's still high. She finally fell asleep about a half hour ago."
Nash rummaged through the bag he brought, pulling out boxes of meds.
“I didn’t know what you might need, so I had the pharmacist give me anything and everything that would be appropriate for a three-year-old.
” After he’d set everything out, it looked like I could open my own pharmacy.
“And then I got some chicken soup from a deli on the way.”