Forty-six
Danica
The air is crisp with the scent of pine and the distant echo of Christmas carols as I slide the last box across the hardwood floor of Anna’s place. I’ve been meticulous about leaving no trace behind, a courtesy for her hospitality, but also a necessity for my own closure. As I brace myself and heave the antique secretary aside to make sure nothing slid underneath and clean out the dust. Sure enough, when I look down, there’s a scrap of paper that’s been hiding in the shadows.
My heartbeat quickens at the sight of Austin’s handwriting. He was adamant that he’d left me a note when we reunited, but I never saw it. I guess this is why.
As I read, his words wash over me like a wave that’s been building strength far out at sea.
Danica,
When I suggested the box of condoms, I thought—I really believed—it would be enough. Enough to get you out of my system. But then, once we were together, goodbye became impossible.
My breath catches. I sink down on the couch, the note trembling slightly in my grip.
Every moment leading up to the party further cemented what I feel for you. I wanted more than just a fleeting escape. I wanted us. My plan that night was to ask you to date me, exclusively.
A soft, incredulous laugh escapes me. Exclusive . A word so simple, yet loaded with the promise of us, of something real and tangible. Something with the potential for a future I’d never allowed myself to imagine.
I’m sorry for neglecting you and for all our missed connections that night. The chaos of the lawsuits consumed me, and I’m sure my mother had something to do with your distance. But please, Danica, forgive me. I’ll do anything. I still want us to move forward, and I’ll do anything you ask to make this right.
I press the paper to my chest. He knew even then that this is how he felt? He’s said as much since, but seeing it in writing somehow makes it more real, confirms that he’s been sure all along.
I’ve never felt like this before. My life feels out of control right now, but you are a calming center. I’m willing to fight for us, to discover what could be.
“Damn it, Austin,” I whisper. To think of the lost time, the misunderstandings that could’ve been avoided with these words.
I pause a moment, feeling the weight of Austin’s words in my hands. Then anger flares up again, hot and quick like a match struck in darkness. Nancy’s interference, her cold machinations—they could’ve cost us everything. But they didn’t, I remind myself. We’re here, we’re strong, and we’re together, despite it all. I smooth out the creases on the note, reread those candid admissions and heartfelt pleas one more time, then tuck it safely into my bag. It’s more than paper and ink. It’s a reminder of what makes us strong.
“Danica?” Austin’s voice, laced with surprise, pulls me from my thoughts.
“Hey, you made it,” I say, looking up to find him in the doorway, his eyes wide with astonishment. Rhys and Theo loom behind him.
“Everything’s packed up and moved already?” Austin asks, walking in. My boxes are stacked neatly by the door of his loft.
“Yep. Just finished.” I smile at his dumbfounded look. He thought he was coming to my rescue, but here I am, my own knight in shining armor.
“Man, Austin, you promised us dinner for helping,” Rhys chides.
“You still owe us,” Theo adds with a chuckle.
“Actually, how about we order pizza and hang out? My treat.” The words are out before I even think. I don’t know these guys very well, but Rhys and Theo are Austin’s closest friends, and they were kind enough to come over, ready to move my stuff.
“You don’t have to do that. These guys can afford their own dinner.” Austin smiles.
“ She doesn’t have to, but you do,” Rhys says, already reaching for his phone. “Pizza sounds good to me!”
“Perfect.” I nod. “Let’s make it a celebration.”
We move across into my new loft, and when the pizza arrives, we open beers and sit around the dining table. This place came furnished, you know. As we eat, I learn a little about each of the guys.
Rhys lives on the waterfront in the Marina. He’s a chemist and worked with Austin to figure out the battery issues when they were first getting EnergiFusion started. He bought a Ferrari when they made their money and also bought his mother a house in Kansas City. His sister has just moved to San Francisco, and he’s dealing with her drama. He’s a confirmed bachelor.
Theo lives in a high-rise above Nob Hill. He’s a little bit shy. He’s a mechanical engineer, and his contributions to EnergiFusion have been extremely important. He bought his mom a house after the company took off, but he still drives the Toyota 4Runner he got when they graduated from college. Everyone at the table seems surprised when he tells me he’s been dating the same woman for a while, but she wants to move in and he’s not ready.
“Wait, do you mean Crystal?” Austin asks.
“No way,” Theo says.
“Why didn’t I know anything about this?” Rhys asks.
Theo shrugs. “We were just having fun, so it wasn’t a big deal. But all of a sudden she wants to move in. I know I don’t want that.”
“I’ll say,” Austin agrees.
“You say that like you have experience,” I tease. “Are you referring to me?”
He snorts and wraps his arm around my shoulders. “Babe, I’m ready for you to move in now .”
The guys groan as I give him a quick kiss.
They regale me with stories about their time together in the lab, and they seem very sweet. I’m glad they’re all so tight.
Then Rhys shifts gears. “EnergiFusion’s rebounding now that the counterfeit batteries have been explained. The lawsuits have fallen apart, and things in the factory are humming along,” he muses, swirling the dregs of his beer. “But man, not knowing where Justin is? It’s like trying to complete a circuit with a wire missing.”
“Yep,” Theo agrees. “And Crystal’s been killing it in marketing, right? But nothing feels normal without him.”
“Definitely,” Austin chimes in. “She’s brought so much to the table. I’m glad she’s come back to the company. I wish we didn’t have his absence hanging over us.”
Their camaraderie reminds me of my sister and how much I’ve missed her these last few weeks. She and Jack have been busy with holiday plans and wedding details. After the new year, Anna and I will fly up for another long weekend to wrap up the last of the preparations for their big day. I can’t wait.
“Hey, guys, thanks for coming over, even if there wasn’t much left to move.” I stand to collect the empty pizza boxes. “I appreciate you being willing to help.”
“We’re just happy for you and Austin,” Rhys says, raising his can in salute.
“Especially when there’s pizza involved,” Theo adds with a grin.
A little while later, Rhys and Theo head out, leaving Austin to help with the last of the cleanup. I remember the crumpled paper nestled at the bottom of my bag.
“Hey, about that note you said you left me after the EnergiFusion party...” I pull it out and smooth the creases.
Austin pauses mid-sweep. “You found it?”
I nod. “Under the antique secretary by the door at Anna’s.” I hold it out.
He takes the note gently, scanning the words. “And?” he asks after a moment. “Any regrets about moving into my loft?”
I look into his eyes, steady, expectant, hopeful. “None,” I assure him, and a smile breaks through like sunlight piercing clouds. “This is more than my own address. It’s about choosing who and what I fill my life with. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Austin steps closer, slipping the note back into my hand. “Then let’s make this place yours,” he says. “You can redecorate, and I’m happy to pay for any changes. And I’ll give you my key if you prefer. That way I’m only here when you want me.”
“Not necessary,” I whisper, folding the note and tucking it away in my bag. I also pull out a check. “Here is first and last months’ rent.”
Austin looks down at the five-thousand-dollar check. “I don’t need first and last. I know where you work, remember?”
I smile. “I know you do, but I don’t want any special favors. I mean, other than the ones I’ve already negotiated. I know the price we agreed on doesn’t cover your mortgage payment.”
He shakes his head. “I don’t have a mortgage payment. Don’t worry about it.”
I take a deep breath. “What are you going to do about your mother? Do you think it’s time to talk with her?”
Austin’s doubt is a palpable thing between us. “I don’t know,” he says slowly.
“Maybe it’s not about what she deserves,” I agree, feeling the wounds from my own family tugging at me. “But it might be what you need to move forward. You don’t have to forget, but maybe...forgive just enough to start healing.”
He stares at me, searching for something in my face that I hope reflects understanding. I want to mend the fractured ties in his life, even as I fight against that for myself. “Christmas Eve?” I venture. “We’ve got a couple days to plan. We could go to her in DC. One lunch doesn’t mean everything’s forgiven, but it’s a start.”
He runs a hand through his hair, exhaling slowly. “All right,” he concedes. “I’ll have Alison set it up. But if she’s not willing to meet us halfway, we can walk away—for good.”
“Okay,” I say, feeling the nervous flutter in my stomach already.
Two days later, Christmas Eve has arrived, and Austin and I are trying to distract ourselves until it’s time for lunch. We arrived early this morning in DC after flying all night. The lingering tension about our plan hovers around us like a fog as we navigate the throngs of tourists in the Natural History Museum. Despite my best efforts, every so often my mind wanders back to the impending showdown with Nancy. The mammoth skeleton looms large before us, and I wonder if our relationship with Austin’s mother has any chance of emerging from this current Ice Age.
“Hey,” Austin murmurs, sliding his hand into mine. “You’re a million miles away.”
“Just thinking about later,” I admit.
“Whatever happens, we’re in this together,” he assures me, and I nod.
When it’s time to leave the museum, Pineapple and Pearls welcomes us with hushed ambiance and the promise of culinary distinction. Even on such short notice, Alison was able to set up a private lunch at his mother’s favorite place. And Nancy has agreed to come.
“Are you sure about this?” Austin asks as we enter the restaurant.
“Absolutely not,” I confess with a half-hearted chuckle. “But it’s necessary. And I’m sure about us. That’s what matters.” My heart pounds a little harder when I spot Nancy by the window, a shopping bag at her side. She’s already here.
As we approach, Nancy’s stance shifts. When her gaze meets ours, tears glisten in her eyes, a vulnerability that strikes me as profoundly genuine. It’s disarming to see her this way, a stark contrast to the image of control she projected the last time I saw her.
“Thank you, Austin,” she says, voice trembling, “for this beautiful gift of lunch on Christmas Eve.”
Austin looks at me before responding. “It was Danica’s idea.”
Nancy bows her head toward me, an acknowledgment. “Thank you,” she whispers.
Somehow, those words feel like the first bricks laid down on the path to reconciliation. Her heart seems to be starting in the right place, at least.
We make our way to the table, settling into our seats as the server arrives to pour wine. The red liquid swirls, catching the light. “The chef has prepared a special lunch for today,” the server announces before retreating, leaving us in a bubble of strained silence.
Nancy clasps her hands together, knuckles white, as if gathering herself. “I have no excuse for what I did. I was wrong, and I’m very sorry.” Her eyes lift to meet mine, then Austin’s. “I hope that, over time, you can forgive me.”
She reaches into her bag, pulling out a thick, carefully bound cookbook. She hands it to Austin with a reverence reserved for precious things. “These are your favorite meals from when you were growing up,” she says. “I thought as you start your new life together, you might want them.”
Then, she presents me with a bouquet of flowers—full blooms of deep reds and purples. “And for you, Danica,” she adds, her voice steadier now, “a note of apology.” She sets an envelope on the table. “You can read it later, but please know how grateful I am that you’re here today.”
I take the flowers, their fragrance sweet and unexpected, and allow myself a small smile. There’s a fragility in this moment, in the offering and accepting of gifts, and I let myself believe that maybe it’s going to be okay.
Nancy’s face, usually so composed, now reflects a softness I’ve not seen before. “I haven’t been very busy lately,” she admits, her gaze flitting across the tablecloth, avoiding ours. “I’ve come to realize that many of my friends were around because of what Austin or I could do for them. It’s time I find better ones.”
Austin nods, seeming sympathetic, but he also looks divided as he watches her. I sense that he’s measuring the truth of her words, gauging the depth of her introspection.
“Speaking of friends,” Nancy continues. “I’ve been talking to Gina.” She turns to me. “Justin’s mother. She’s...struggling.”
“Rhys, Theo, and I have talked about going to see her,” Austin says, resting his hand over mine on the table. His touch grounds me. “We’ll visit her in Denver soon. Check in on her.”
“Thank you, Austin.” Nancy nods. “Crystal seems busy with her new role at the company, and she is so worried about Justin.”
Over lunch, Austin catches his mother up about all that has happened with EnergiFusion. The server brings course after course, each more delicious than the last, and our conversation is pleasant.
As the afternoon light wanes and the last plates are cleared from our table, Austin clears his throat. “Mom,” he begins, his voice steady, “Danica and I are in love. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. She’s the most important person in my world.”
Nancy’s lips part in a silent gasp, but then she manages a smile.
“I’d like to have a relationship with you again,” Austin says. “But I need to be able to trust you, and I need you to accept that Danica is going to be in my life as well.”
For a heartbeat, the room seems to stand still, waiting. Then Nancy nods, her eyes glistening. “There’s nothing I’d like more. And I look forward to getting to know you, Danica.”
The words settle around us, and I smile, finding that I’d like that as well. Perhaps this is the start of something real, something lasting.
With that, we say our goodbyes. Nancy has plans with a very old friend tomorrow for Christmas, and Austin and I plan on hiding out at his house for the week. So we agree to see his mother in the new year.
Nancy pulls me in for a hard embrace. “Thank you,” she murmurs in my ear. “You are perfect for my son.”
Austin suggests she plan to visit us soon, and once she’s back in her car, we head to the airport.
In no time, the private plane wings us through the clouds on our way back to San Francisco.
“Quite a day, huh?” Austin murmurs from beside me, his hand finding mine.
“More than I could have imagined,” I admit, turning to meet his gaze.
His eyes are filled with the emotion that’s been dancing between us since Nancy agreed to move forward, accepting not just my place in Austin’s life, but seeing me as someone she wants to get to know. It’s a tentative bridge, but one I’m willing to reinforce.
As we fly, the sun slowly begins its descent toward the horizon, painting the sky in shades of orange and pink.
“Thank you for being so open to her,” Austin says. “I know you didn’t have to forgive her.”
“She’s your mother, and I want you to have a relationship,” I reply, leaning my head on his shoulder. “She made a mistake, but I think she’s truly sorry. And anyway, this is not just about me. We’re doing this together.” It’s a truth I’m still learning to accept. I don’t have to go through life alone, and allowing someone to share my burdens doesn’t make me weak.
“Always together,” he assures me.
A few hours later, as the plane starts its descent, San Francisco comes into view, welcoming us home.
“Looking forward to landing?” Austin asks.
“More than you know,” I say. “It feels like a fresh start.”
“Fresh starts are good,” he agrees.
We touch down smoothly, and as the wheels hit the tarmac, I feel a sense of completeness. What happened with Nancy, the mending of fences… It’s the first step toward something new. A relationship with her won’t be easy. But I’m ready for the challenge.
“Ready to face the world?” Austin queries as we gather our things.
“Always,” I respond with renewed determination. “Let’s do this.”