Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
Daisy
"Yes." The single word ripped its way out of my throat before I had even made the mental decision. Tears ran down my face, and I didn’t lift my hands to wipe them away.
I wanted Ilya to see them. Hell, it probably gave him some sick, twisted gratification to see them. He probably got off on my pain.
And I was in pain. I had been for six years.
Back then, I hadn’t been given a choice.
I could either leave or take a bullet. Sometimes I thought I should have taken the bullet.
It would have been less painful, and Alec wouldn’t have thought—I paused.
Alec had thought I was dead anyway because that’s what he had been told by his father.
That’s how much Ilya hated me. He had wiped me out of my son's life like I had never existed.
I had met Alec now. I had seen just what an amazing young boy he was. I was never going to leave him again.
Sniffing once, I straightened my shoulders and tilted my chin up to meet Ilya's eyes. Bright blue and as cold as glaciers, they stared back at me. Almost like he was shocked at my agreeing to it.
"Yes," I said again, more firmly.
"What?" Ilya's eyes darted down the length of my body and then back to my face like he couldn’t believe what I had just said.
"I’ll stay." With each word I said, I felt myself grow stronger. "I won’t let you take me away from my son again, Ilya. So I’ll stay.
I’ll watch Alec grow up." My nose wrinkled as I sneered up at his shocked face.
"I’ll raise my son," I stressed the word 'my', and his face darkened.
"And you can go and marry whatever skank is stupid enough to fall for you and your lies. "
I’d never called another woman that word before. I was, or at least I tried to be, a girl's girl. But anyone Ilya chose to share his life with was either in it for the money or completely clueless.
I’d taken maybe a step around him and was heading towards my room when he grabbed me by the arm, spun me around, and slammed me into the doorjamb with enough force that the air was pushed out of my lungs with a whoosh.
Stars erupted before my eyes as my head made contact with the wood.
"You," he spat, "don’t get to talk to me like that. Alec is my son. You don’t have any claim on him, Daisy.
You forfeited that right when you abandoned us.
" Grabbing both of my wrists, he pinned them on either side of my head and leant closer.
"And any woman I bring into my life," he sneered, "into my bed, is no concern of yours. "
I answered his sneer with a smirk of my own, because would I hell be cowed by him.
"Oh, believe me, I’m not concerned," I retorted. "I know the only women who share your life are the ones that you have to pay for."
For a second, his eyes darkened so much I wasn’t sure if he was going to kiss me or hit me, and I swallowed hard, holding my breath.
Then he laughed, throwing back his head.
"Oh, believe me, the only women I pay for are hookers and—" reaching out, he dragged his knuckles down my trembling cheek, "broodmares.
Crappy in bed but good for a little stress relief.
" Back and forth he dragged his knuckles across my skin.
"Not wife material, though. Not even mother material. Just a warm hole and a ripe womb."
I swallowed hard. Fuck, he was an asshole.
"My wife will be… perfect," he continued, and every word he said was like a knife twisting in my stomach. He knew he was hurting me, though. "Maybe I’ll make you carry our future children. I wouldn’t want my wife’s body to be ruined like yours has been."
One last twist of the knife and he gutted me. I knew I wasn’t the tiny, unmarked girl he had met. But I had carried his child, and I liked my body.
"Fuck you, Ilya Popovitch," I hissed between my gritted teeth.
His eyes sparkled with mirth, but deep down I was sure I saw a flicker of unease as he realized what he had said. It was there and gone so quickly I was sure I imagined it, though. "Does the truth hurt, Daisy?"
Cocking his head to the side, he studied me, and my lips thinned. "What, no retort? I thought you would have told me to go to hell by now?"
Slowly, I lifted my eyes to his pretty blue eyes. Devoid of all warmth or softness. God, how he had changed in six years. Back when we had shared a life and dreamt of a future, I had thought his eyes were the most beautiful thing about him, and they were still pretty. But lifeless.
"Hell's too good for you, Ilya," I said, and I meant it with my whole heart. "Now, will you get the fuck off me."
He didn’t move. "Is that how you speak to your employer?" he chuckled.
"When my employer is a creep who has me pinned to a wall and is sporting a boner, yeah, it is." Pointedly, I stared down at his body.
Ilya jumped away like I’d electrocuted him. "Fuck."
Chuckling to myself, I wandered away. "If I am staying here, I want a contract, Ilya. I want rights. I won’t be victim to your manipulation again."
I didn’t turn around, but I knew he was following after me. More fool me for thinking I could get the last word in an argument.
"Manipulation?" he breathed down my neck, causing goosebumps to erupt all over my body. "The only person who was manipulated back then was me. You fucking left me, Daisy. You made me—" I heard his throat loudly move as he swallowed.
"I made you what, Ilya?" I asked with my back to him.
"Doesn’t matter. Clean up." The air moved as he took a step away from me. "I’ll have the contract prepared and—"
"I will need access to my phone and laptop."
A grumble met my request. "Absolutely not."
"That’s not negotiable, Ilya. I have a life in Oxford. I have to call some people and arrange for time off."
He didn’t answer me. But I caught the sound of muttering under his breath. Half-turning towards him, I watched as he dragged a hand through his hair.
"What?" Honestly, I couldn’t read the look on his face at all.
"You have a job?"
Okay, now I was really confused. "Yes. Of course I have a job.
I also have an apartment and friends. The money you gave me to be your," I lifted my hands and, crooking my fingers, made quotation marks in the air, "broodmare, I haven’t touched.
Well, I think maybe a thousand pounds. To secure accommodation, but the rest is in there. You are welcome to have it back."
"I don't—" Ilya's lips twisted. "Friends? You have friends, or is this some kind of code for men you take to your bed?"
"Seriously, Ilya, that is not your business."
"It is if a lover or a husband—" His eyes darted down to my hand and then back up. "—turns up here and I have to cover up a murder."
"This conversation is over, Ilya. I am going to shower and change. Could you have my clothes put in my room? Or let me go and get my case."
He didn’t answer me. Really, I wasn’t expecting him to.
Ilya didn’t like being ordered around. He never had.
He always liked being the one to give the orders, and six years ago I had been fine with that because he had been the center of my entire universe, and I wanted to do anything to make him happy.
Now I was a whole different person. Stronger and more resilient. The only person I gave a shit about was my son, and he was the reason I was here.
I didn’t want him to grow up thinking I had abandoned him or whatever lies Ilya had filled his head with. No, Alec would know the truth.
Still, it was weird to me that Ilya held so much hostility towards me when he had been the one to send me away, and there had been genuine shock when I had mentioned where I had lived and the money in my account. It was like this was the first time he had heard of either.
Slamming my bedroom door behind me, I leant on it heavily. My breath coming in pants as I tried to make sense of what was happening to me.
How the hell did I end up back here?
The knock on the door forced a little scream to tumble from my lips, and I had taken two hasty steps away when it opened and Alec’s little face appeared.
Almost instantly, my heart calmed down. "Hey, I thought you were at the park?" I asked, because that’s where I had been told he had been taken.
He shrugged, pushing his way into the room. "I didn’t want to show them the monkey bars. I wanted to show you."
My heart gave a pang. "I’d like to see that very much." Sitting on the bed, I waited until he bounded up.
"Will you be staying? Can I show you?" His little open face twisted. "I don’t think Papa will let me rescue you again."
I reached up and ruffled his hair.
"You are absolutely right about that," Ilya said from the doorway, and we both lifted our chins to stare up at him. "What you did today was very dangerous, Alec. You, or," his blue eyes roved over my body, "Daisy, could have been hurt. I never want that to happen."
Wow. He sounded so genuine. Like I was seeing a completely different side to his personality. He was back to being gentle and kind.
He loved Alec, I realized.
"I just don’t want her to leave. I want to be with her, so she can look after me. Not like Milli." His lips twisted. "I want her to like me."
"I do like you." Looping my arm around his narrow shoulders, I pulled him onto my lap and hugged him. "I love you, Alec. And I’m not going anywhere." I lifted my eyes to Ilya's in a silent question.
"That’s right. Daisy is going to stay with us. In fact," striding into the room, he held out my phone, "she needs to tell her boss that she is staying here. For the foreseeable future."
Plucking the phone from his hands, I dropped it forgotten onto the bed. Making calls could wait. My son needed me now, and he was all that mattered to me.
"You’re going to stay forever?" He tilted his expectant face up to me.
"I’m going to stay with you." I stressed the word 'you'. "Forever. I promise."
Keeping him on my lap, I reached for my phone and dialed a saved number.
"Hello, Daisy, is that you?" My department head's voice answered on the second ring, even though I knew it was the middle of the night there.
"Yeah. Sorry it’s so late."
"Where have you been? We’ve been so worried, and no one could get a hold of you. I was going to call the police tomorrow and report you as a missing person."
I let him bluster on.
"When are you coming back?" he finally asked.
Taking a deep breath, I met Ilya's eyes. "That’s what I need to talk to you about."