Chapter 32
Chapter Thirty-Two
Daisy
I don’t remember standing up and walking away. Everything was a daze, so I didn’t know what was real and what was in my imagination. All I knew was that I had to get out of the room and feel the fresh air on my face even for a second.
It was only when I reached the outer door that reality crept back in. Pausing just for a second, I glanced behind me. To the dead bodies that littered the floor. Every single person who had hurt me was dead.
Well, not everyone; Ilya was still in there, comforting our son. His son, because I knew deep down that he wouldn’t allow me to be in their lives any longer. I don’t know what made me think so, but I knew.
And that’s why I had to leave. My heart, my very soul, couldn’t take being rejected by him again. I couldn’t live through the pain; it would break me entirely. Better that I leave now and quietly disappear.
No one looked up as I stepped outside. Wrapping my arms around myself because I was shaking so hard that my teeth chattered in a way that had nothing to do with the weather.
My clothes were ripped and unkempt, and my feet were bare, but I didn’t care. Just like I didn’t care that shards of glass and God knows what else were currently cutting into my feet.
The street was empty, the buildings on either side of the road boarded up. I had no idea where the hell I was, and in a way, that was okay as well.
It was kind of apt that I was lost.
Head down, arms wrapped around myself, I kept walking. A slow, methodical plod, and with each step I took, tears slid down my face.
It would have been better if I had never come back. If I hadn’t been at my father's grave that day, then—
I sobbed, biting my fist as the sound ripped its way out of my throat and into the silence of the street.
No, I wouldn’t let myself think that way.
I would never regret coming back because it had given me a chance to get to know my son.
I’d had a chance to love my son, and even though it felt like my heart was being ripped from my chest because I was going to lose him again, I would not ever take that back.
Even if the pain I was feeling now was worse than when they had ripped him from my arms the first time. It hurt so bad that I wasn’t sure I would ever get over it.
"Daisy."
I froze because the voice was unmistakable.
Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted his car. The massive, black armored thing, not his usual sports cars.
How the hell had I not heard that coming up the street?
"Daisy," Ilya said again, his voice much closer than I expected. Like it was almost right behind me.
Panic slammed my heart into my chest, and I took off like a hunted deer. My torn-up feet pounding on the pavement.
Almost instantly, he gave chase.
I knew I couldn’t outrun him, but I had to try. I had to get away because if I didn’t, he would probably kill me, which I might actually prefer over being ripped away from my child again.
"Daisy!" Ilya's strong hand latched onto my shoulder and spun me around. I struggled just for a second before he pushed me against the grimy brick wall and trapped me there with his enormous body.
"Let me go," I sobbed, beating uselessly at his chest with my tiny fists. And even if I hadn’t been starved into weakness, I wouldn’t have stood a chance against him.
"Please, Ilya," I begged. "Please let me go."
He caught my wrists easily, pinning them against the rough brick. "No," he growled out. "No, Daisy," he said more firmly. His voice dropped into a gravelly whisper. "I will not ever let you go. And you need to stop running."
The fight went out of me, my knees buckled, and it was only his quick instincts that stopped me from hitting the floor.
"Shit." He heaved me into his body but kept me trapped against the abandoned building. "Are you hurt?"
His big hands began to rove over my body, but not in a sexual way. "Are you hurt, Daisy? Answer me," he ordered.
"I’m not." My voice didn’t even sound like me. Clearing my throat, I tried again. "I’m not hurt."
Finally, his hand came down to settle on my flat stomach, and he sighed in relief. "Thank God." He dropped his forehead against mine. His eyes were so close to mine that I could see the flecks of all the colors in them.
Silence fell between us.
"Why did you run?" he asked finally.
How could I answer that without sounding like a complete headcase?
Not that he waited for an answer. Another sigh rattled his chest. "I need to get you home, Daisy. Both you and Alec need medical care and—"
Weakly, I pushed at his chest. "I’m fine. I’m not hurt," I grumbled.
He didn’t loosen his grip. "I would still feel better if you and the baby were checked out."
It hit me then: he hadn’t come after me because he cared. Ilya never cared about me. He had chased after me because I was carrying his second child. That was the only reason he was holding and staring at me like he was.
Because I was pregnant.
And his heirs were the only thing he cared about. The only thing he had ever cared about. He hadn’t rescued me, all guns blazing, because he cared about me. He had done it to save his son and his unborn child.
To Ilya Popovitch, I was nothing but a broodmare. An animal.
Tears welled up in my eyes unbidden, even as a small part of me told myself I was being stupid. I pushed the small, hopeful voice down. Hushing it.
If Ilya had come for me as well, he would have at least looked at me, but he hadn’t. He hadn’t even asked how I was.
Which meant only one thing... I was right back to where I started as nothing more than a broodmare for the mighty Popovitch family. Only this time, I had no one to blame but myself.
Ilya's eyes swept across my face, and a frown pinched his eyebrows together like he could read my thoughts. "Alec is waiting for you," he whispered. "He’s in the car, and he wants his mom."
God, I wanted my son as well. I wanted both of my children in my life. Every day. I wanted to see all of their firsts and laugh and watch them grow and have families of their own.
But I would never get that chance. Because I had been down this road with Ilya before.
"I can’t—" I stuttered around the sob wedged in my throat. "I can’t do this anymore." I waved a hand uselessly in front of me like that made what I said make sense. "I can’t take this anymore."
God, I didn’t even know what I was saying. The words just kept coming out, making little to no sense. "I am not strong enough. Please, Ilya."
I didn’t even know what I was begging for. Apart from rest. I so desperately needed to rest. I knew if I did, I would be able to think more clearly.
"Please what? Please let you run?" Ilya's eyes flashed almost angrily. "You don’t get to run again, Daisy," he growled out. "You don’t ever get to run from me and this family. I know you are scared. I am too, but you don’t get to disappear. We can be scared together. For Alec and the baby's sake, we have to be. He won’t understand if you disappear again, and I won’t survive it.
And—" he trailed off. His dark eyebrows knotting together in concern as he stared down at me.
I swayed; my vision swirled around me. Greyness and then blackness ate up my vision so quickly that I didn’t even have a chance to wonder what was happening before my legs buckled, and I fell forward into his chest in a half-faint. I didn’t even fight it; I was too weak to do anything but crumble.
"Fuck." Ilya's voice came from the swirling mist, and I felt him lift me into his arms, bridal style. "Fuck, just hold on, Daisy. I’ve got you."
I didn’t need to close my eyes because my vision was fading so quickly. All I could do was lay my cheek on his chest. Right over the pounding of his heart. It felt good to be held by him one last time. Even if his shirt was wet and sticky with other people's blood.
It didn’t matter, I thought as I drifted. Nothing mattered but the fact that Alec was safe and I was—
Dimly, I heard him begin to shout orders; my body jolted as he ran back towards his car. But it all felt and sounded like it was from far away.
Like it was happening to someone else, and I was just watching on as a spectator.
"Get a doctor to the apartment now!" he yelled, cradling me to his chest like a baby. "Hold on, Daisy," he ordered. "Please, just hold on, don’t leave me again."
But I was already drifting away.