21. Rose
ROSE
"Drink this." Calvin places a steaming mug of tea on the bedside table next to me and walks around to my other side. The bed dips as he sits, but I don't look at him.
I gaze down at the painkillers resting in the palm of my hand. The attack at the river was so fast that I thought I was fine until I got to the car and Calvin set me down on the ground.
My balance immediately went. Turns out, when the first gunshot was fired and Calvin dropped me, I hit my head on something.
The injury isn't serious, but everything else is, and the silence between Calvin and me is heavy.
After a few seconds, I toss the painkillers into my mouth and chase them with a gulp of water.
"Rose," Calvin says softly. "What is going on with you?"
"What do you mean?" I wince slightly as the painkillers catch very briefly in my throat. Another few gulps of water force them to shift, then I set the glass down and pick up the tea instead.
"You tried to kiss me."
Fuck.
Part of that felt like a dream. I was praying that somehow my loud thoughts had stayed exactly as that; thoughts.
"I have to tell Kon," Calvin murmurs. "If I don't, he will kill me. He might kill us both."
"What?" My lips have barely touched the tea when I'm spinning to face Calvin. "Why would he kill you?"
"You are his wife. It doesn't matter who I am. No one is allowed to touch you, let alone kiss you."
"But I kissed you!"
"Do you really think someone as possessive as him will care? And beyond that, Rose, this is not a secret I'm going to keep. But before he takes my head off, I'd like to know why. Are you… did I do something to give you the wrong impression?"
My racing heart sinks slowly into my gut. Everything tightens into a hard knot that refuses to shift even as I straighten myself up. "No. Calvin, you didn't do anything. This is… fuck. I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking clearly. It was all just so…"
How do I explain this without getting both of us killed? It never even crossed my mind that Kon would react badly to something like this, never mind that I've now put Calvin in a dangerous position with the man he's incredibly loyal to.
Fuck.
What the hell was I thinking?
I set the tea aside and twist my hands together in my lap. "I'm sorry, Calvin."
"Tell me why," he repeats and his voice remains as gentle as ever. "You owe me that much."
I look up at him. Several bruises shadow his face and flesh splits above his brow where a harsh punch cut him against his browbone. He took that beating for me. Those men took those bullets and punches all to protect me.
"I'm sorry," I gasp and the tension in my chest swells like air is getting trapped beneath my ribs. "I don't even know where to begin. Everything is so…. everything is so fucked. I'm trapped in this horrible position and I'm running out of time. I have no idea what to do!"
"Running out of time?" Confusion knits across Calvin's face in waves as he processes my words. "Rose, what do you mean? Have you set this time limit yourself?"
I shake my head.
"Has Kon?"
Again, I shake my head.
"Then who? And for what?"
My lower lip trembles so I draw it into my mouth and bite down, then the truth surges out of me in a wave. "I have to get pregnant, Calvin. I have to. It's the only way to save my family and I'm just…"
His eyes widen but anything he plans to say gets derailed when the door to the bedroom bursts open.
Kon fills the doorway.
He stands there with his shoulders curled forward and his shirt stained with dark, dried blood.
His hair sweeps in all directions and his brow pinches fiercely together, creating a dark light straight across his forehead.
"Boss!" Calvin's on his feet and rushing toward him before I can even register all the blood, but as Calvin reaches him, Kon holds up his hand.
"It is not my blood." Then he pushes past Calvin. "Rose, are you okay?"
"I-I'm okay. Oh my god, why are you bleeding? What happened to you?"
"It is not my blood," he repeats and he falls to his knees in front of me. "Promise me you are okay?"
I stare at him with wide eyes. "I'm fine, I promise."
"She has a head wound," Calvin corrects. "It's small and superficial. Doc's already had a look at her."
"You are not fine," Kon whispers as he clasps his hands around mine in my lap. He lifts one and places it on my chest over my heart and his eyes flicker slightly. "Who did this?"
Calvin steps forward. "General Zangier. The men, they carried this." Calvin digs deep into his pocket and pulls out a stained silver pin in the shape of a heron caught in a circle. He offers the pin to Kon but he only stares at it while a shadow passes across his tight face.
"Where?" Kon bites out.
"He's in the wind, but we have everyone looking, and we're tracing the bug we put in his phone. He won't hide from us. But if I'm honest, there's a chance he'll claim these men acted without his knowledge."
Kon's jaw tenses, sharp as a blade, and he turns back to me with his eyes closed.
Anger rolls off him in waves, heating up the air between us, and his fingers flex ever so slightly against my chest.
"Kon?" All thought of Calvin and the pregnancy vanishes while I lean forward and very gently cup his face. I don't care about the general or anything else in this moment, not when Kon is kneeling before me covered in blood. "What happened to you? Why is there so much blood?"
"Ethan," Kon chokes out, and his eyes close. Then he turns to Calvin. "Ethan got shot. He's at Saint Mary's. I want you there. I want everyone there. You tell me as soon as you have any news, understand?"
"On it, boss!" With a last look at me, Calvin sprints from the room, leaving Kon and I alone.
"Rose, I am so sorry. I am so sorry." Kon's head sags forward into my lap and his fingers against my chest curl ever so slightly. "I was supposed to keep you safe."
I want to cuddle him. To cradle his head and assure him that I'm alright, but my hands remain caught in his grip and I fear any movement will dislodge contact with him. So I wait.
"I'm okay, Kon."
"You are hurt. That is not okay. That is not…" He lifts his head and slides his hand from my chest up to my cheek. "It will never happen again. I swear it. I will protect you. I will."
"Kon?" I tilt my head and hold his gaze. "What happened to Ethan?"
In all my time here, it's been very clear just how much they care about one another, and the volume of blood staining Kon's shirt is enough to tempt the worst in my mind. My attack in the park hardly seems worth discussing if Ethan is in the hospital.
"He took a bullet for me," Kon says quietly.
"I killed a threat to me. And his men reacted.
Ethan took the bullet just here…" His rough fingertips slide down the length of my neck to the juncture of my shoulder.
"So much blood. I have seen my fair share but on someone I know?
It was…" He pauses and pain flashes in his eyes, pain from memories he won't share.
Slowly, I detangle my hands from his hand and cradle his face. "He'll be okay." I want to promise it, but I can't. There's a grimness to Kon's face as he turns into my palm.
"Perhaps," is all he says. His eyes close and for a few long seconds, we simply exist with one another, touching and comforting.
It lasts until the guilt surges back beneath my ribs and it stabs right into my heart, forcing me to wince.
The world sees him as a monster yet here he is with his head in my lap, struggling with worry for his friend and concern for me.
This is the man Mathew wants me to destroy.
"Are you in pain?" Kon's eyes are open and he gazes up at me with that same worried frown. "I will fetch the doctor."
"No, I'm okay," I assure him. "I'm just worried. About Ethan. And you. And that general."
Kon grunts slightly. "Calvin told me he made a pass at you at the party. The only reason I did not take his head is because we are still investigating the leak. If I had, then you would not be—"
"Don't." I cut him off quickly. "Don't think like that. I know as well as you do that killing him before you find the leak could be detrimental down the line because whoever is betraying you could get scared and shut things down. I'm not mad about it. Calvin protected me. I am safe. You are safe."
A soft buzz catches my ears and Kon is forced to lean up from me to get his phone from his pocket. He taps the screen once and his shoulders sag down.
"Ethan is stable," he recites. "Calvin called the doctor on his way over. He is stable." Relief visibly surges through him in a wave, and his head sags once more as if all his muscles are unknotting. "I feared the worst."
"I know. But it's okay." Leaning forward, I kiss the top of his head. "Ethan's okay. I'm okay. We're all okay."
Kon grumbles softly. "Tell me what you need from me. I would guess, but I am tired, my dear."
The warm words bury into my chest only to be blocked by the guilt taking root there, so I close my eyes. "Distract me."
"Hm?" Kon lifts his head and I follow his movements in my mind's eye.
"I want to forget everything for a little while."
Kon nods and then he stands.
The absence of his heat makes me open my eyes, and I chase his trailing hand as he moves toward the ensuite.
Hand in hand, we walk together into the bathroom where Kon immediately sheds his blood-soaked shirt and drops it into the sink.
Then he turns the two brass taps attached to the bath and starts running hot water.
"It may not calm the mind," Kon says quietly. "But if we start with the body, the mind will follow."
"You want to bathe together?" I lean back against the counter. Initially, I'd wanted another kind of distraction. Being fucked six ways to Sunday would certainly dislodge the guilt in my chest, but this is just as good. Especially with the slight wooziness creeping up from those strong painkillers.
Kon passes by me and presses his lips to my forehead, then he picks up the bottle of bubble bath and turns back to the water. "In all the excitement, I forgot to mention something."
"Oh?" I follow him and lean around his shoulder, watching the blue liquid pour from the bottle and mingle with the water, creating all the bubbles.
"I am going to have dinner with your father."
My heart stalls briefly in my chest as a pulse of alarm darts across my shoulders. "With… my father? Why?"