28. Rose
ROSE
Calvin calls one of the cars over and takes it from the driver, telling him to get a lift with the rest of the entourage dotted around to keep me safe. Then he climbs into the driver's seat while I slide into the passenger seat and close the door.
"Alright," Calvin says with a deep sigh. "What do you need?"
"You can't tell Kon."
"Rose." He turns in his seat to face me. "I am not keeping another secret from him."
"I know! I know it's a lot for me to ask, especially after…" I motion to his face and my heart breaks slightly at my part in his pain. "But please. I don't have anyone else to talk to or turn to and I need help. I can't do this on my own."
"And you can't tell Kon because…?"
"Because…" My heart skips a beat as a dawning realization sweeps through me and I slump slightly. "Because I think… I think I'm in love with him and I would really like to do everything I can to avoid hurting him. Please?"
Calvin's brows knot together as if he's debating with himself, then he nods and drags a hand down his face. "Alright."
"Promise?"
"I… promise."
"I'm pregnant."
Calvin's hand drops like a rock from his face. "What?!"
"I'm pregnant. I think. Two tests say I am and I don't… I don't fully understand how or why, but I am."
"Rose, isn't this amazing news? Isn't this what you wanted? I know Kon will be over the moon!" Calvin can't keep the smile from his face but it falters slightly. "Why don't you want to tell him?"
"I can't…" My voice cracks slightly and I take a deep breath.
"Calvin… I told you about my father’s gambling debts.
The kidnapping. We were supposed to be motivation for him to clear his debts but…
" My heart begins to race as the nausea in my gut tightens.
"He couldn't. Or he wouldn't. Honestly, I'm not really sure.
They held us hostage for months. They hurt us.
I took what I could to protect my sister but when it became clear my father wasn't going to get the money, they were going to kill us until my father…
he wanted to sell us." My voice wavers. "He thought servitude could pay off his debts, and the Vasiliev brothers saw a deal. "
The shadow on Calvin's face grows darker the longer I talk, but I keep going, surging through as much of the information as I can.
"The deal was to marry me to Kon in order to get pregnant so that they could… they could take his baby and use that to bring down his empire. Kon is too strong and powerful for them to take head-on. But they have my family. My mom and my sister. Everything I've been doing is to keep them safe."
The silence in the car is thick and heavy.
Calvin hasn't moved or said a word.
The grim expression on his face almost makes me doubt whether telling him was a good idea. I see no other choice.
"So you see? If I tell him… he'll think everything I feel is a lie, that everything I've done is to lie and trick him when I was just trying to save my family because my father won't. But I have fallen for him.
Honest to god, I've fallen for him and I don't want to hurt him.
And if I tell him I'm pregnant, he won't let me out of his sight and then I won't be able to help my family.
But if I tell the Vasiliev brothers, they'll make their move and kidnap me, leaving me captive until the baby is born.
I don't know what to do, Calvin. I don't."
Tears crawl up the back of my throat.
"It was simple when all I had to worry about was ensuring my mother and my sister survived.
But now? I didn't expect to fall in love.
I didn't expect to be happy at the idea of a baby.
I don't know what to do! I don't even know how I got pregnant because every other test was negative.
I don't…" Breathless, I'm forced to stop talking and the heavy silence descends once again.
Calvin shifts slightly in his seat and the frown on his face deepens as he processes everything.
Then, he speaks.
"Stress can be insane for test accuracy. Given… all of this and everything you've been dealing with, it's no surprise none of them were accurate."
I clutch at my thighs and nod quickly. "They were going to kill me if it was negative, so I faked one of the tests and then told them to go to hell because they need me."
"Rose…"
"What did I do?" I turn my tear-filled eyes back to him. "Beatie is only fifteen. The things they did to me? If they do them to her…" The words catch in my throat. "What kind of monster am I that I'd let them endure that because I've fallen in love?"
"First, you're not letting them endure anything," Calvin says firmly. "You're as much a prisoner as they are. I can't… imagine the distress of knowing your every move plays with the lives of your family. Rose… you need to tell Kon."
"What? No! I can't do that!" Didn't he listen to a thing I just said? "If he doesn't kill me for lying and betraying him, he'll lock me up and I'll be powerless to save my family!"
"Rose, do you really think he would do that?"
"Look how he reacted when he thought you and I were having an affair," I scoff softly, wiping away a couple of stray tears. "I don't know how he would react."
"True. But this isn't you intentionally hurting him. You've been forced into a horrific situation, with the lives of your entire family hanging in the balance. Kon… is a lot of things. But he understands family. And he will understand the threat of the Vasiliev brothers."
Calvin makes it sound so easy. Just tell the truth.
"I don't want to break his heart," I murmur. "I love him."
"A broken heart sounds better than a dead family," Calvin replies gently.
"It's a horrible sacrifice but in the end, what real choice do you have here?
" Calvin reaches across and covers my hand with his.
"I'll back you up, however he reacts, but there's only one option here.
You have to tell him the truth. All of it. "
I feared Calvin would say that. Deep down, I know that's the only real option, especially now I'm actually pregnant.
If everything goes south, at least I'll know I did everything I could to protect him.
"Okay." I draw in a deep breath. "Okay. I'll tell him."
"Good. And Rose… for what it's worth, I'm sorry. If I'd had any inkling about Mathew I would have killed him on the spot."
"Then my family would be dead. Lev is the more unstable one, and they have already lost Daniil."
"I'm sorry you've been through hell. And I'm sorry you had to hide it. I'm sorry."
"Stop saying sorry," I whisper with a sad smile. "You'll make me really start crying and I don't know if I'll be able to stop."
Calvin huffs out a humorless laugh, then he nods and turns on the ignition.
As we drive to the club where Kon's dealing with the fallout of underage girls being slipped into his staff (by the Italians, at least that's who he suspects), I play it all out in my head.
There's no version of this where Kon isn't angry.
Will he care about me enough to help?
Or will he only care about his baby?
Kon's always been sweet with me, and decent with Ethan and Calvin, but to everyone else, he's as cold as a bitter winter's morning.
He doesn't seem to have care or compassion for anyone outside of his inner circle.
Even his dinner with my father got canceled because of the club disaster, which in his eyes is more important.
Will he kill me?
Will he look at me with hate and betrayal in his eyes?
Or will he close down and shut me out?
I don't know which will be worse.
"Are you ready?"
So caught up in my thoughts, I don't realize we've arrived until the car door opens and Calvin stands there with a pinched frown and a sympathetic smile.
"I don't know," I whisper. "I'm scared."
"Of Kon?"
I shake my head. "I'm scared of what I'll see in his eyes when I break his heart."
Calvin's lips press into a thin line and he nods solemnly. "The important thing here is to lead with the pregnancy," he says quietly. "It might… soften the blow of everything else."
Taking his hand, I slip from the car and together we walk up to the club.
Several guards near the door wave us in without hesitation, so I follow Calvin through the small hallway and into the club.
It's rather beautiful with the sparkling poles, deep blue walls and the light twinkling like stars above.
I'd imagine it looks even better at night.
"Hey." Ethan greets us with a tired smile and then frowns as he looks at me. "Rose. You okay?"
I must look like shit with how twisted up I am with nerves.
I can't decide if I'm going to throw up or if I need to race to the bathroom to spend ten minutes on the toilet.
Neither of which happens. Nor does an answer to Ethan.
I'm trapped, frozen in place while staring past him at a small, thin girl perched on one of the barstools.
Her hair hangs around her face in stringy clumps, her cheeks are slightly hollow, and she blinks owlishly, gazing around as if not actually seeing anything around her.
"Rose?" Calvin's voice drifts from my right but it sounds so far away as I stumble forward with my heart in my throat.
"Beatie?!"