CHAPTER 1 FAE #2
“No,” he growls, “I never fucked her. I never even told her, Fae. Fuck, I was stupid not to, but I needed a plan. You know as well as I do that Father would never let me marry someone outside The Company. I had to try and make him see sense. I was biding my time. I…”
He trails off, looking down at the floor and shuffling his feet. Warning flags pop up in my brain as I watch him.
This motherfucker. This stupid, motherfucker. I jump of the bed and stalk towards him. Taking a breath, I look at my brother’s crestfallen face and jab my finger into the middle of his chest
“Tell me you didn’t do want I think you did Felix, so fucking help me God!” I say through gritted teeth.
Felix gulps and lifts both his hands to rest on my shoulders, gently squeezing them before squaring his own.
I have to crane my neck to look up at him.
I’m not short—well, I guess it depends on who you ask.
At five-foot-nine I’m too tall for the short people and too short for the tall ones, but my brother still towers over me at six-foot-six.
“I went to Father and put in a bid,” Felix firmly says and goose pimples cover my arms.
“No.” I shake my head in disbelief at the bombs he keeps dropping.
“Yes,” he sighs and I take a step back from him as fear hits me in my chest.
“Why?”
“Because it always been her,” he shrugs “it has since she attacked me for thinking I was breaking in to hurt you,” a haunted smile tugs at his lips before he clears his throat.
“I asked Father to initiate her during our meeting before term started. I told him the truth. I just didn’t get around to telling her. I wanted—no, needed to try and get his blessing before I told anyone.”
“So, what happened?”
“He said he’d think about it,” he huffs. “I told him that no was not an option and that no matter who he throws at me; she will be mine.”
I can hear my heart in my chest as the reality of the situation hits me.
My Father takes no prisoners, what he wants he gets and if he already has a promised for Felix and Felix refused then Father would see that as a scandal we could never recover from.
I start pacing as images of my childhood hits me repeatedly before I stop and turn on Felix.
“Why are you just telling me this now? Why the fuck have you waited to tell me this, Felix? It’s been three weeks! If he has her…”
I trail off. We both know that if he has her, she will not be the same person she was when she left. Felix rightfully looks sheepish as he scuffs his shoe on the carpet. The silence is deafening as I stare at him, hoping, no praying he will give me an answer, give me something.
“Get out.” I point to the door and his head springs up.
“Fae, no—I… we need a plan.”
“A plan?” I scoff. “A plan?!” I scream.
I can feel my control slipping like sand as I take fast steps towards him. Before I know it, my hand connects hard with his cheek and his head whips to the side. My chest heaves as tears fall from my eyes.
“Your original plan just sentenced my best friend to a fate worse than death, Felix. You say you are in love with her, but you just gave her a one-way ticket to hell.”
“I was trying to protect her.”
“Typical man,” I scoff. “Protect her by ruining her? Be grateful you weren’t born a woman, Felix. Men cannot protect us when they are the ones causing us pain! Now get the fuck out before I say something we both can’t come back from.”
I shoulder past him, storm into my room, slam the door and lock it.
I grab the first thing I come across, a framed photo of me and Felix and throw it across the room.
I tip my head back and scream into the ceiling before pressing play on the surround system again to try and drown out the memories in my head.
‘Little Girl Gone by Chinchilla’ starts playing out loudly as a bubbly sensation crawls up my skin.
Drip, drip, drip.
It’s not enough. I squeeze my eyes but all I can see is the crypt, all I can feel are their hands, all I can smell is the blood.
Drip, drip, drip.
I look around and see my umbrella leaning against the wall. Grabbing the handle, I squeeze it so hard my knuckles turn white as I try to centre myself, but nothing helps. I scream again as I grab the next photo.
This one is of me and Father and I smash it to pieces. Then I move on to more photos, more trinkets, anything I can get my hands on. Lifting up the umbrella, I start smashing everything I can see. If I smash hard enough, I can beat out this pain. If I smash hard enough the fear has to go…right?
The anger seeps out of my pores as I destroy nearly all of my room until I am standing in the middle of a pile of shattered glass. But it is not enough. It will never be enough.
Breathing heavily, I grab the pocketknife lying on my desk and flick it open, the sharp click doing nothing to calm the burning in my chest. I move to my bed before I start slicing the pillows and mattress, ripping through whatever I can reach.
Rage, this is what I need. Not sadness, or fear…but rage.
For me, for Robyn, for any other woman forced to be a pawn in this bullshit life built by foolish men. Taking a breath, I look at the destruction of my room as I drop the umbrella on the floor. I know what I need to do.
I pick up my phone, send a group text, and open my bedroom door.
I know where you are now. And I am coming for you, Robyn.
Hold on.