CHAPTER 3 FAE
FAE
My phone goes off with a loud ding; I gulp as the room falls silent. Every one of the guys turns towards me, but no one speaks. No one needs to. We all know what that sound means. My stomach twists as I stare at the floor, running through what they want from me today.
I hate that they still have this much control over me.
I hate that they always will. I hate that The Company’s main currency is blood.
Blood money. Blood sacrifices. Blood deaths.
You best believe that if it has blood in front of it, it belongs to them somehow.
Don’t even get me started on genetics. Once you’re in, you’re in and only death ends your contract.
It’s why I’m slightly grateful my line ends with me.
The only thing that bothers me is that it’s The Company’s choice, not mine.
I’ve asked Felix not to reproduce, but he doesn’t understand.
How can he? Felix grew up with luxuries I was never afforded.
Whilst he went to camp, I was dragged down into a crypt and forced to free-bleed my cycle every month.
Father made him his heir and me his sacrifice.
There’s not a chance in hell a daughter of mine will go through that.
I grit my teeth and shake my head, pushing the memory away before forcing myself to move. I pull my phone out of my grey Nike tracksuit bottoms and read the text.
Secure message:
Target: Charles Langford: terminate
Location: Wivenhoe Hotel
Deadline: 24 hours
Failure is not survivable.
Sighing, I roll my eyes. This is just what I needed. Father must have been notified that my car has moved and decided I’m up to the challenge of working again. At least I had three weeks off… so there’s that.
Father is a complicated man. I will never pretend I understand him or his contradictions.
For eighteen years, he protected my virginity like a dictator, guarded my freedom like a dragon, and only let me associate with Felix before throwing it all away when he signed me up for university.
And now, it seems he has given me space to grieve a friend when he specifically told me that having weaknesses is what separates ‘normal’ people from The Company.
“What does it say?” Victor asks, his one green eye and one brown eye burning into the side of my face.
I pass my phone to him and he reads it over before passing it to his right, letting it make its way around the group.
Their faces are a mixture of fear, indifference, and frustration.
Felix hates me working because he slips into big-brother protective mode.
Roman hates me working and I still can’t work out why.
Victor and Atlas are indifferent; and Riggs…
well, Riggs is the only person who ever believes I can do it.
Maybe it’s because Riggs and I have shared the greatest number of classes together. Maybe it’s because he knows what I’m capable of. Or maybe he’s just not an overbearing arsehole. The thing is, Riggs may be the best Raven we’ve had in the Company in generations, but I am the best Swallow.
Swallows may have been popularised by the KGB during the Cold War, but it was The Company who did it first. For over a thousand years, England has been the birthplace of Swallows and their male counterparts, the Ravens.
As spies, we are sent to extract information from powerful people through any means necessary.
For Swallows in particular, this is usually through sex, temptation, or manipulation.
Normal people go to university to study business or sports.
Me? I learnt how to read body language, how to take a man apart piece by piece, how to track a target without being seen, or worse, fuck a man using his darkest desires.
The only upside to the training is that no man can manipulate or break me.
I play them at their own game. And when they are finally falling apart, I finish it with a small cut to the jugular and an innocent expression on my face.
Ugh. Even thinking about them puts me in a foul mood.
Another obnoxious ding echoes around the cave and my head jerks up. My eyes land directly on Roman, who is staring back at me with an indifferent look. He pulls his phone out of his tailored black suit trousers and reads it out loud.
“Target: Charles Langford. Assist Swallow 264 in the termination. Location: Wivenhoe Hotel.” He looks up, a small smile spreading across his face. “Looks like we’re partners, Tink.”
“Why the fuck do I need to go with a weapons lead into a job?” I muse aloud.
“Maybe it’s just to see how you two work together as a team?” Atlas asks.
“No, that makes no sense. The whole point of a Swallow is independent intelligence. As the Ravens, we are the ones who work as a team. It’s why we each have a specialist.” Riggs points to me and continues, “Fae is our team in one. Why the fuck is she being sent with backup unless…”
“You think they want to set them up?” Felix’s teeth grind at the prospect.
“Not a set-up per se, but maybe it’s more dangerous than her usual target,” Riggs shrugs.
“I don’t like it.”
“You don’t have to like it, Felix. I just have to do it. When are you going to understand that I am just as capable as you are? We’ve both done the same amount of training. I am sick of you undermining my skill set,” I snap.
“It is not like that and you know it. If I were on the frontline dealing with dangerous men, you would be worried as well, Fae. Do not pretend otherwise,” he snaps back.
“Okayyyy, twinnies, let’s not get our knickers in a twist,” Riggs teases as Felix and I stare daggers at each other. “This is a good thing, Felix. At least if it is dangerous, she is going with the best of us.”
“Are you complimenting me?” Roman asks, showing no outward sign of emotion.
“Erm, no. I was implying you are a fucking psychopath.”
“Hmm,” Roman taps his finger to his chin, “sounds like a compliment to me.”
A laugh breaks out from all of us. It feels normal and easy as I lose myself in the moment. Tears sting my eyes and my stomach cramps from the giggles before reality hits me in the chest. This is why I didn’t want to be around people. This is why I locked myself away.
I shouldn’t be laughing.
Not when I don’t know what Robyn is going through right now.
I don’t want this. I don’t want to forget.
If I live outside of this pain, then who will remember her?
Who will fight for her? No. It has to be me.
I swallow the next laugh and excuse myself as the guys dissolve into a different conversation.
I press against the wall, taking deep breaths as I repeat Robyn’s name over in my head, trying to re-centre myself to the mission at hand.
I’m jolted out of my thoughts by the sound of footsteps echoing behind me and I turn to find Roman walking towards me. My breath catches as he stops in front of me and I have to physically restrain myself from leaning into him.
I hate how easily my body wants him. I hate that I want him at all.
Especially him. Roman will be promised to someone far better than me and no matter how many times Robyn told me to cross that line, I couldn’t.
I wouldn’t risk the friendship group when I knew what we had would eventually come to an end.
That never stopped me from checking him out, or from fawning over him when I was drunk though.
Roman flashes me a smile that shows those perfect dimples as his Baccarat Rouge 540 cologne engulfs me.
It’s so uniquely him I can’t help but inhale deeply.
Hints of jasmine, saffron, and cashmere wood fill my senses, my mind misfiring as I think about how good it would smell on my pillows.
I swallow hard, forcing myself back into reality.
“Are you okay?” I ask, finding my voice.
“I like that sound on you, Tinkerbell,” he whispers, leaning into my ear as I hold my breath at the proximity.
“What sound?” I gulp.
“Your laugh, little one.” He wraps his arms around my shoulders as I tilt my head back. I’m the only one he ever touches. I would be lying if I said it didn’t give me some sick satisfaction.
“Don’t be sad you’re happy. She wouldn’t want this,” he continues.
“Oh, you’re the expert on emotions all of a sudden?” I snap back with a frown as he huffs out a small chuckle.
“No, it is just what I heard Mum say to Dad when he lost Oliver. I thought it was appropriate. Am I wrong?”
“You’re wrong.” I try to move out of his embrace, but he pulls me in closer, my heart rate pounding in my ears.
“No. I am never wrong, Tink. You just refuse to listen. But that’s okay. I will make you soon.”
He winks and I grind my teeth. God, this man is infuriating. I cannot help but think about all the ways he could get me to squawk like a bird and it is definitely not the way he is talking about.
There is also the added issue that I have never even slept with a man by choice. The thought sits heavy in my chest. If I told him, would he make love to me for the first time? Would he be soft so I could ease into it?
I scoff at myself. This man is a fucking sadist; he would definitely not be soft.
“What are you going to do? Torture me?” I taunt.
“Hmm,” Roman muses, dropping his arms as he takes a step back. “Something like that.”
He winks again before turning and walking towards the exit.
“Wait!” I shout and he stops mid-step but keeps his back to me. “Where are you going? We need a plan for the hotel.”
“I’ll meet you back at yours in an hour,” he states, then continues walking.
Taking a breath, I go back into the cave and tell the boys Roman has gone. The laughter has died since I left. Instead, those pitying looks they have been giving me recently are back.
“So…” I start as they all sit back down, “we cannot do anything about Robyn unless we can get some intel. Victor, I want you to track down anyone who could have a grudge against her. Start with the students in her history class. I heard Willow was being a bitch to her the day before she disappeared.”
Victor nods and types something into his phone. “What about her family?”
“I mean, sure. We know she was in care, so that could include foster parents, foster siblings, or even her biological family,” Felix interjects.
“I’ll hack her phone logs. Can you give me her devices?” Atlas asks, looking at me.
“She left her laptop, but her phone went missing with her.” I pause for a moment. “Can you come round today while I’m out and search her room? Maybe I missed something when she first disappeared because I was too involved in it.”
“Sure. I can still remotely access her phone. I took all your details in the first year just in case something like this happened.”
“Wait, what? You mean to tell me you have access to all my phone data?” Riggs asks.
“Yep. I can see all that furry porn you’ve been watching. Who knew the Labrador had a dog kink?”
“The fuck I do, you little shit. My porn is delicious pain sluts who can’t get enough of calling me sir.”
“You like to implement pain?” Atlas asks, frowning. “Well, I wouldn’t have pegged you for that.”
“You’re the only one who likes pegging here, Atlas,” Felix cuts in.
“Fucking hell,” I snap. “Focus, boys.”
“Sorry, Mum,” Riggs mumbles and I sigh.
“Okay, so Atlas, do your hacking as soon as possible. Victor, start tracking. When we have something to go off, we’ll meet again. Felix, I want you to start putting together strategies for every situation you can think of and Riggs, you just sit there and look cute, okay?”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Fairy,” he scoffs.
“I don’t have time to stroke your ego. I have to go. Let’s meet back here in forty-eight hours and see if we’ve got anything to go off.”
I give them each a small smile as they wish me luck and stand to kiss my cheek. I need to get my head back in the game. I have no idea what The Company are doing with my new mission but I do know one thing. I am a Swallow and tonight I have been let out of my cage.