Fae
The space beside me is cold as I lie there with my cheek pressed against my pillow.
My eyes trace the crease of the sheets where he slept, trying to work out how long it’s been since he left.
I ache all over, not just with heavy limbs but with a heavy mind too.
The room smells faintly of him, of us, of something that should feel grounding but instead just sits wrong in my chest. I turn, staring into the ceiling as I swallow the burn of tears.
He didn’t sleep. Again. I thought maybe after the sex yesterday, his body would have at least given up.
It wasn’t soft or gentle. It wasn’t even really about us.
I shift slightly, dragging the duvet tighter around myself as a chill rolls across my skin, and my hand moves to my stomach.
“You’re a very lucky little baby, do you know that?” I press my palm there. “You literally had someone die for you to live. Wild birth story, right?”
I feel fucking stupid talking to my stomach.
Roman is better at it than me. It’s been three days, so I can hardly expect him to be okay, but I didn’t realise how grounding his stories to the baby were until it was something that was no longer accessible.
I sigh before forcing myself to sit up and swing my legs over the side of the bed.
Closing my eyes I take one more centring breath before finally making my way towards the door.
I pause in the doorway of his weapons room and my fingers curl slightly against the frame as I lean in.
The room is empty, and I bite my bottom lip as my head falls back.
Whatever last night was… it didn’t fix anything. If anything, it just made the space between us harder to ignore.
I push myself away from the frame and turn back into the corridor.
The house is quiet again. Like all the noise has been stripped out of it, leaving something hollow behind that echoes if you stand still for too long.
Each step creaks faintly beneath me and I drag my hand lightly along the banister as I descend.
My brows pull together as I step into the lounge.
Robyn is standing near the window, her arms folded loosely across her chest as her weight shifts onto one leg.
She turns around but stares flatly at me.
Something about it feels off.
“What are you doing here? Is everything okay at our flat?” I ask softly.
“Oh, you’re the housing officer now, are you?” She snaps, and my head rears back like I’ve been hit.
“What? No…” I frown, taking a step closer. “That’s not what I meant.”
“I don’t need to tell you my whereabouts.” She shrugs in a small, dismissive gesture as her gaze slides past me.
I hesitate before taking more steps into the lounge and lowering myself onto the couch. My stomach tightens as I watch her. I try to catch her eye, but she shifts again before I can.
“I just meant—” I stop myself, exhaling softly as I try to reset whatever this is. “You’re supposed to be at the flat, Robyn. I didn’t know you were coming here.”
“What, like how we didn’t know you were going to the church?” She scoffs and my heart slams against my ribs.
I drop my head as my heart breaks a little more.
She blames me.
They all do, I’m sure. She’s just the only one with the guts to say it to my face.
My lips wobble as I try to swallow my tears, but one escapes and I quickly wipe it away.
Footsteps sound in the hallway and I straighten my spine and force my expression into something steadier than it feels.
I turn just as Roman steps into the doorway.
His eyes scan over my body like usual before flicking over to Robyn, then back to me.
I give him a small smile that falters almost immediately under the weight of his expression.
The circles under his eyes have darkened into bruised shadows that sink deeper into his skin, but it’s not just that.
The rich caramel tone that usually seems to glow has gone ashen.
There’s something missing from him. He looks exhausted in a way that goes beyond anything physical.
He is worn down from the inside out with nothing but this hollow version of him standing in front of me.
I look between Robyn and Roman and that sinking realisation that I don’t belong in this room anymore settles in my chest. The way Robyn looks at me is sharp and distant.
The way Roman doesn’t even really look at me at all… it all leads back to the same place.
Me.
It’s my fault Fiona went to the church, it’s my fault we didn’t have a contingency plan and it’s my fault she’s dead. I push myself up from the couch, smoothing my hands down my thighs as I move to leave.
“Where are you going?” Roman asks, stepping to the side to block my exit.
“Erm… to make drinks for everyone?” I try to move past him as I flash another fake smile.
“Oh, that’s nice,” Robyn mutters behind me. “Back to playing house again.”
My steps falter and a sharp gasp tears from my chest before I can stop it.
“Robyn,” Roman says in a low, careful tone.
I bite down hard on my lip and turn, forcing my feet to move. I need to get out of here before this explosion building inside me spills over and drowns everyone else with it.
I did this to myself.
I barely make it two steps before a solid weight presses into my back, stopping me completely.
Roman’s hand catches my hip as he bends down and his mouth brushes against the side of my neck.
The contact is warm and grounding in a way that makes my chest ache even more, and I drop my head as my eyes squeeze shut and his breath ghosts over my skin.
“You don’t need to leave, Tink,” he murmurs, so quietly it feels like it’s just for me.
“It’s for the best,” I whisper back as my throat tightens around the words.
He stills behind me as a long sigh leaves him.
I grit my teeth at how frustrated he sounds.
How much more can one man take? It’s as if he is carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders and doesn’t have the energy to hold it up anymore.
Not that I blame him. We’re all breaking and she was his mum.
Fuck this.
I need to control my emotions. I need to be there for him like he is for me. I turn around before gently tapping his pecs.
“The baby wants orange juice,” I say, forcing something soft into my voice.
Roman’s brow lifts slightly at the obvious lie, but he doesn’t call me out on it.
He just looks at me for a second before bending down, pressing a slow kiss to my stomach.
A real smile pulls at my lips. The room fades into the background and all that’s left is him and the warmth of his mouth against my stomach.
Just Roman, the baby and me in a space where no pain can reach us.
“How can you touch her?” Robyn spits.
My head snaps up as Roman’s body goes rigid before he stands and spins towards her.
There’s no softness in her gaze, just pure, burning anger.
My heart feels like it’s already in pieces, but somehow it manages to fracture further under the look on her face.
For months I tried to save her. For months everything I did, everything I was, revolved around keeping her safe, pulling her out of something that was destroying her piece by piece…
Now I’m the thing she looks at like it needs to be destroyed.
It burns like hellfire.
“She’s my fiancée,” Roman snaps. “Watch your mouth.” He points at her, stepping slightly in front of me without fully blocking me from view.
“No,” she fires back, her voice rising and cracking as she shakes her head. “No, I mean it. How can you stand there and even look at, let alone touch, her?”
“Robyn—” he barks.
“She murdered your mum!” she screams and the words tear out of her, raw and hysterical, filling the space in a way that makes it impossible to breathe around them. My body jolts like I’ve been hit.
She’s only saying what I think though, right?
“No, the fuck she didn’t.” Roman sneers, stepping closer to Robyn. “My father did.”
“Your mum would be ashamed.” She steps to him and he tilts his head back and lets out a laugh that lacks any humour.
“You only knew my mum for months,” he growls. “I had her for fucking years. Don’t you ever—” he points at her with a tight jaw, “don’t you ever use her death to justify your shitty behaviour to the only person in this room who never gave up on you.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, do you want me to be grateful?” she fires back, stepping forward again. “Because from where I’m standing, your fiancée and my best friend just got your mum killed.”
I move between them and my hands lift towards Roman like I can physically hold this together and keep any more words we won’t be able to take back from slipping out.
“Robyn—” I say as my voice breaks.
“Don’t,” she snaps at me, her eyes blazing. “Don’t stand there and act like this isn’t on you.”
“Shut the fuck up!” Roman steps around me, closing the distance again.
“Roman, stop—” I reach for him, but he shrugs me off like I’m nothing, his focus locked entirely on her.
“You don’t like being married to a murderer?”
“I said shut your mouth, what the fuck is wrong with you!” he screams in her face.
“Or what?” Robyn throws back and lifts her chin. “Are you going to hurt me? You’re not the first man to do that, Roman, so news flash, I’m not fucking scared of you.”
“Enough.”
Felix’s voice cuts through the room like a blade. I turn as he steps fully into the space, his gaze flicking once to me before locking onto Roman. There’s nothing soft in it. Nothing brotherly. Just a cold, hard warning.
“Don’t step up to a woman, Roman,” Felix barks, moving forward without hesitation. “I don’t care how fucking hurt you are, she’s half your size. Now back the fuck off.”
Roman lets out a sharp, humourless laugh, dragging a hand down his face before looking back at him.
“Fuck you,” he sneers.
“Yeah?” Felix steps closer, squaring up to him. “Fuck you too.”
“You’re really going to stand there,” Roman gestures toward Robyn, “and let your woman talk shit about your sister?”
“I’m not letting anyone do anything,” Felix shoots back as his own voice rises to match Roman’s. “I’m just trying to stop you from acting like a fucking animal.”
“Felix—” I try with him this time, stepping between them as my hands push weakly at his chest.
“No,” he replies, not even looking at me as he moves me aside. “I’m not letting a man tower over a woman like that. Back. The. Fuck. Up.”
Roman’s eyes darken as something snaps clean behind them.
“Make me.”
The words hit the room and everything goes still. Then Felix shoves him.
Hard.
Roman staggers back a step before launching forward, his fist connecting with Felix’s jaw with a crack that echoes through the room.
The sound rips a scream out of me as I stumble out of the way, watching them crash into each other.
Their hands grab at one another and their fists swing.
Pure chaos explodes where I stand as I watch them fall into the coffee table.
“Stop! Boys, stop!” I shout but they don’t hear me.
Felix gets the upper hand as he swings again, catching Roman across the cheek.
Roman snarls at the hit before driving him back with the push of his hips and slamming him into the side of the sofa.
It crashes onto its side as they grapple, their breaths ragged and their movements violent and uncontained.
“Oi—” Riggs’ voice cuts in as footsteps thunder down the hallway.
Atlas and Victor are right behind him. All three of them move fast as they grab at shoulders and arms before dragging them apart as Roman and Felix fight against the hold.
“Get off me!” Roman roars, shrugging them off. His chest heaves as I see the start of a bruise on his eye.
“Roman, enough!” Victor snaps, holding him back.
Felix wipes blood from his mouth. His eyes are still locked on Roman as his fury burns brighter than the sun.
“Try it again,” Felix spits. “Go on.”
Roman surges forward again but Atlas and Riggs catch him this time, hauling him back with force.
“That’s enough,” Atlas demands in a firm tone.
Roman’s breathing is heavy and uneven as his angry gaze flickers between all of us before landing on me. His eyes soften slightly, just enough to let something through that feels close to love, before it locks back down again. His jaw grinds as his gaze drags over me, and I take a step towards him.
“Fuck this,” he mutters, wrenching himself free before turning and storming out.
“Roman—” I call, chasing after him. My chest is tight with panic as his hand reaches the handle to the front door.
“Leave me the fuck alone, Fae!” he shouts and the sound cracks through the house as he yanks the door open and slams it behind him hard enough to shake the walls.
The silence that follows is deafening.