35. Roman
ROMAN
The front door clicks shut behind me, and warmth immediately hits my skin.
My hand settles against the small of Fae’s back whilst we move through the hallway as a unit.
I can hear their voices overlapping in the lounge and I already know the television is showing a Leeds United football match by how loud Riggs is being.
It feels weird being back.
I’m not a coward, I knew I had to face them eventually, it’s as if I blinked and four days have passed without my permission.
Four days of missed calls, unread messages and everyone else trying to hold together the life I walked away from.
I didn’t mean to disappear. Not really. I just needed the world to stop asking things of me for a while because every time someone looked at me, I could feel what they wanted. Reassurance.
But I didn’t have any of that to give.
I hear Fae sigh softly beside me as the living room finally comes into view.
Tension crawls across my shoulders as every head turns toward us and the conversation dies instantly.
Atlas looks up from his laptop; Victor pauses halfway through lifting his drink and Riggs lowers the remote as one by one their attention locks onto us.
Felix stands up and every muscle in my body tightens as my feet root to the floor, preparing for another fight.
Fae told me he’s spent the last four days beating himself up over what happened between us, but the truth is I was out of line with Robyn.
I know that now that the anger has settled enough for me to actually think straight.
If anyone ever stepped into Fae the way I stepped into Robyn, I would hold onto that hatred until my dying breath, so I honestly have no fucking idea how this is about to go.
He takes five quick steps towards me before grabbing the nape of my neck and my whole body locks up. Every nerve under my skin sparks at once as he pulls me forward hard enough that I stumble slightly into him.
Instead of fists though, his arms wrap tightly around me and I grit my teeth.
Fucking prick.
The pressure of someone else’s skin against mine makes my skin feel like ants are crawling all over me. My hands stay limp at my sides as I stare blankly over his shoulder and contemplate telling him to get the fuck off me.
Honestly, I think I would have preferred the fists.
I glance sideways and spot Fae watching us.
Her whole face softens. Her eyes are stupidly hopeful and glassy like she’s watching the ending scene of a Disney film instead of two emotionally constipated men struggling through physical affection.
She looks damn right delighted by it. I cave against my better judgement and slowly lift my hands, awkwardly curling them around Felix’s back.
His whole body shakes against mine as I feel his breath stutter near my shoulder.
“I’m sorry brother,” he whispers quietly into my ear, “I’m sorry for it all.”
Heat rises in my throat as my own eyes turn glassy, “me too,” I choke out.
I’m sorry for the fight.
I’m sorry for not protecting his sister or my mum.
I’m sorry for it all.
I awkwardly pat his back once, before clearing my throat and Felix huffs out a laugh before stepping away and dragging a hand over his hair. He walks over to Fae and they whisper something I can’t hear because Riggs snorts from the sofa. I narrow my eyes as I look at him.
“You over your little temper tantrum now then?”
Felix’s head whips around instantly, “can you actually fuck off for five minutes Riggs?”
“What?” Riggs says in a high pitch voice, “there was temper, and there was a tantrum.”
“Jesus fucking Christ,” mutters Victor.
“Watch your mouth, I’m being serious. My heart can’t deal with any more of this,” Felix rubs his chest.
“And I can?” Riggs points to his own chest with a confused look on his face.
Victor groans from the armchair, “one day I’m genuinely going to smother you in your sleep.”
Atlas ignores everyone else as his eyes flick over me quickly and I shuffle awkwardly on my feet, “are you okay?”
What the fuck kind of question even is that? My mum is dead. I shot my own father until there was barely anything left of him and now somehow, I’m expected to take over his role in The Company like my whole world hasn’t just imploded around me.
“No,” I say instead.
The silence in the living room feels deafening.
Nobody speaks. Nobody even moves. It’s like the truth of it settles over the room all at once and leaves all of us standing in it without knowing what to do next.
Fae walks toward me slowly before wrapping her body around mine.
I grab at her greedily and pull her closer until there isn’t even an inch of space left between us.
My fingers curl tightly into the back of her top as I bury my face against her hair.
“I think I’m going to head upstairs for a bit,” she says softly.
“I’ll go with you.”
“Obviously,” Riggs mutters.
Victor throws a cushion at his head as I guide Fae upstairs to our bedroom.
It feels strange being back in here. Jarring almost. Like the room belongs to a different version of us than the one currently standing in it.
The only thing stopping my chest from tightening completely is the fact it smells so much like Fae.
Her vanilla and honey scent immediately settles some of the noise in my head.
My eyes drag across the room automatically.
Everything is spotless. Not even a speck of dust sits out of place.
It’s painfully obvious she’s been trying to keep busy when I was gone.
Fae wanders over to the bed before dropping down onto it with a sigh.
The mattress dips beneath her weight as she stretches out.
I watch her for a second longer than necessary before walking over to the speaker in the corner of the room and pressing play.
‘Freak For You by Haiden Henderson’ starts filtering through the room and I raise my eyebrow towards Fae.
“Did you miss me that much?”
“Shut up,” she flashes me a bashful smile before stretching her arms above her head.
She’s in the perfect position for me to tie her up and have my way with her, and my nostrils flare as the memory of the last time my paddle marks bloomed across her skin flashes through my mind.
I exhale slowly, trying to shake off the thought before walking back over to the bed and crawling carefully over her.
Her cute little bump has popped out so much now that I have to keep myself balanced on my forearms as I cover her body with mine. I kiss her nose and she giggles.
“Ro…” Her arms wrap around my neck.
“Yes…” I narrow my eyes at her.
“Why don’t you fuck me like you used to?” she asks quietly.
I glance down at her before shifting and falling beside her on the mattress. She follows me, curling into my side. Her bump settles against my hip whilst her palm spreads over my chest, right above my heart, and she rests her head against my shoulder. The silence stretches as we cuddle.
“What do you mean?” I ask carefully.
Fae shrugs slightly against me. “I mean…You used to fuck me like you hated me. Not that there’s anything wrong with how we have sex now because there isn’t, I just…” Her fingers flex slightly against my chest. “Ever since I came home it’s changed between us.”
Guilt settles heavily in my stomach as I stare at the ceiling trying to work out how much of this I’m supposed to say out loud. My hand drags slowly over my face before I shift again until we’re lying face to face instead.
“I didn’t want to hurt you,” I admit quietly.
Her expression softens instantly but I keep going before she can interrupt.
“Tink… you were kidnapped. You were raped. Then we found out you were pregnant.” My jaw tightens as I look at her. “At what point does a man look at all that and think you know what? I’m going to tie her up and whip her.”
Fae snorts out a laugh, “I don’t know, you?” I shake my head slightly “I liked it, Ro. I told you that already.” Her fingers trace absent circles against my chest. “I don’t want you treating me like I’m fragile.”
“And how exactly am I supposed to know what’s too far now?”
“We could use a safe word.”
She props herself up slightly on her elbow, looking far too pleased with herself. I narrow my eyes at her slightly.
“Okay then,” I murmur. “What’s your safe word?”
“Swallow,” she replies immediately.
“No.”
Her brows furrow, “what? Why not?”
“Because,” I deadpan, “there’s a very high chance I’m going to tell you to swallow my cock or my cum at some point and I’m not accidentally stopping halfway through because you picked the worst safe word in history.”
She throws her head back laughing. My eyes drag over her face as she glows beside me like the fairy she is despite everything this world has done to her.
I still don’t understand how I got this lucky.
How after all the blood and violence and grief somehow, I still ended up here with her wrapped around me looking at me like I’m someone worth loving.
Her laughter slowly fades as my hand slides up the outside of her thigh.
My eyes stay locked on hers whilst I gently squeeze.
“So… safe word?”
“Hmm,” she presses her finger thoughtfully against her lips before her face brightens slightly. “Angel.”
“Angel?” I screw my nose up.
“Yeah,” she smiles softly. “Because nobody gets hurt when they have an angel on their side.”
Her eyes turn sympathetic and a sharp pain lances through my chest. Mum flashes through my mind so quickly it almost steals the breath from my lungs.
Her smile. Her laugh. The way she used to call Fae sweet girl like it was the easiest thing in the world to love her.
Fae’s expression softens further as she reaches up to brush her fingers against my jaw.
“What do you say,” she murmurs quietly, “you think an angel would keep me safe?”
I swallow hard as my hand settles over hers, “I do.”