CHAPTER SIX
FLUMPH
Mortal Plane
“The vampire’s back at it,” I tell King Shadow Fuck and King Elf Dick after they finally come back to the fire.
‘Course, the jerks won’t take my word for it. Both o’ ‘em turn to look at the stone and, sure ‘nough, the vampire is crouched over it. His face is so close to it, I think he’s about to kiss the freakin’ thing.
First, both kings don’t say nothin’. They just sit their big asses down; both seem a little more bad-tempered than usual. And that’s sayin’ somethin’, ‘cause the twos o’ them are always gripin’ ‘bout something. I notice they sittin’ way far away from Eilish, like she just let out a ripper fart that stinks somethin’ awful. But I’m sure that ain’t the case. Do angels even fart? ‘Course, she ain’t a full-blooded angel from what’s I just overheared from her convo with the vamp. An’ I be pretty sure demons fart ‘cause why else would they be called demons?
“That’s not good,” Cambi-yawn says finally. “Did he tell you he was going back?”
Then I realize he’s talkin’ to me. Not often they ask me anythin’, so I get real tall and stick my chest out, all important-like.
“Did he tell me?” I ain’t sure what the fuck King Angry Cock is asking me. Did who tell who what? “I’se pretty sure the answer’s no, ‘cause ain’t no one tell me shit ‘round here, and frankly I’se sick and tir—"
The elf interrupts me. “Fuck,” he say.
Now I’se extra pissed, ‘cause I had me a whole speech prepared an’ everything. So I turn to King Shadow Taint, figurin’ maybes he wanna hear my story? “If Cambion hadn’t told me to spy on Pretty an’ the vamp, I wouldn’t know half o’ the nothin’ I currently knows!”
King Elf Ass’ head snaps back my way and he narrow his eyes real mean, like I jist said too damn much. King Shadow Dump’s reaction is similar.
“Cambion told you to spy on them?” He sounds mad but I ain’t here to protect nobody no more. No way. No how. I did my rescuin’, ‘nough to last me a lifetime. And let me tell you, I ain’t got no intention of doin’ any more hero work unless there’s a mighty big wage increase, if ya catch my drift.
“So what if I did?” the elf snaps back. “Are you really going to get on your moral high horse after failing to tell me the angel is a fucking a Succubus?”
I hear a gasp from the lady. Now it’s her turn to look shocked. I let out a burp that tastes an awful lot like that nasty shit Lord Shadow Kitchen cooked up.
“Cambion, I didn’t know!” Eilish starts, shakin’ her head real determined like. She sounds scared as she face him and her eyes get this big look to ‘em.
“You think I believe that?” he spits back before he look at the whacked out vamp again. “Who told Baron to return to the stone because I sure as hell didn’t! You saw what it was doing to him, but you told him to go back to it anyway! You’ve been sabotaging us all along!”
Eilish’s eyes glow bright with tears. “I didn’t have anything to do with Baron returning to the stone! And I didn’t know I was Succubus! I’m not lying to you!”
I ain’t usually one to interfere but I ain’t never been a fan o’ bullies—an’ if I know one thing, it’s that Eilish is bein’ bullied by Limpy Stick. “I don’t know ‘bout no sabotage, but the angel was with me when Vamp Bat decided ta go callin’ on that stone agin.”
“She’s no fucking angel!” the angry elf yell with pissed-off eyes.
“Angel or no angel,” I says with a shrug. “We came back and found the vamp like this. She didn’t tell him nothin’ first,” I assure him. Eilish shoots me a look o’ gratitude.
“Cambion, calm the fuck down,” Dragan say.
“Don’t tell me to calm down!” shouts the elf, super not calmed-down-like. “I’m done taking orders from you! You’ve gotten us nothing but captured, hungry, and no closer to defeating Variant than when we fucking started!” The elf’s face get real red an’ it look like steam ‘bout ta come out his ears.
“Cambion,” Dragan warn, but the elf done lost his damn mind. “We still need to talk to Baron about what he learned from the stone. And we need Eilish’s memories restored to her.”
“That was when we thought she was on our side,” Cambion nearly yells. He’s shaking, real angry-like. He right scary when he so upset. “Everything was different when we thought she was an angel. Now we know she isn’t, you have no authority to tell anyone what to do.”
Cambion open his mouth to speak but he stopped short by a crack so loud I think there must o’ been beans in that shit slop Dragan made.
We all turn to look and see Eilish standing in front o’ the vampire. Baron’s awake, but he lyin’ on the ground an’ in front of him be the stone. But it ain’t orange now, an’ the fire sparks are gone. It’s broken in two pieces, laying there all sad, gray and lifeless. The half angel look down at it, shocked.
“What have you done?” asks the vampire, blinking his way back to reality.
“I tried to wake you up!” Her voice is still high an’ emotional as she back away real slow, like she afraid he gonna leap up at her an’ suck her brain out her nose. Oh, wait, that be zombies what do that.
“It’s broken,” the vamp says, an’ he look at the pieces of rock like they’re what’s left o’ his dead child. Then, he look up at Cambion. “Fix it.”
The elf shake his head, his gold hair shiftin’ as he moves. “I can’t. It’s been broken. It can’t be unbroken.”
“There must be a way,” say the vamp.
I heard his tone a zillion times before at Anona’s, when her victims went through withdrawals from Atacamite . There ain’t no reasonin’ with them people. They want one thing an’ if you don’ have it, you better stay out their way.
“I don’t know of any way to fix it,” Cambion say with a big ol’ breath. “I’ve never seen anyone break a Transmutation Stone before.” Then he glare at Eilish. “What the fuck did you do?”
“I just… touched it, and it broke,” she admit with a shrug. I can tell she’s disappointed too ‘cause that stone carried inside it the key ta unlockin’ all her own memories. “Can’t we make another one?”
“I AM NOT,” I start, “FLYING BACK TO THAT FUCKING RIVER!” I’m impressed by how far my little voice carries. A few birds stop their singin’ and leave the trees.
That’s right, you little bastards, I think. Fly away, ‘cause Flumph ain’t flyin’ with you! I’se keepin’ my fat ass right here on the ground!
“Even if we had the supplies… it would take another full day,” Cambion say, an’ he shake his head with a sigh. “We’re malnourished and exhausted, and we’ve already wasted too much fucking time.”
“But my memories,” Eilish say, real sad-like.
Cambion glare at her. “What are you hoping to see in the stone that’s going to help us, anyway? The long list of male victims you’ve fucked and destroyed?”
Eilish winces like he just hit her. Dragan look at her, and he has a real sad expression on his face. He look like he want to console her, but he don’t. He just stand there. And the vamp’s still staring at the stone like he ready ta start cryin’.
Eilish look at Cambion like she summonin’ all her courage. “There’s still half of me that’s angel,” she point out.
“The demon part of you is the only part that concerns me,” Cambion spits back at her. Then he take a breath and look back at Dragan. “Once we figure out what to do with her,” he say, wavin’ his hand in Eilish’s direction, “we should pay a visit to Raflamir; he’s an old friend and he’ll offer us haven and food. From there, we can decide what to do.”
“It’s too dangerous!” the gargoyle finally speaks, shaking his head. “We can’t trust anyone. Raflamir may have fought for us in the war, but times are different now. People are terrified of Variant. They’ll do anything to avoid his wrath.”
“And what’s your suggestion, Dragan?” Cambion insist, soundin’ real angry. “Stay here and starve to death or get captured?”
But Dragan ain’t really payin’ attention to Cambion. He eyeing the angel instead and when he speak, his voice be real low. “You said we should visit Raflamir once we decide what to do with Eilish,” Dragan say, real serious-like. “What does that mean?”
“I don’t trust her, and neither should you,” Cambion answer real quick.
“So you’re going to leave her alone in the forest to die?” Dragan shakes his head. “We don’t have to trust her, but she doesn’t deserve that fate.”
“What does she really deserve from us?” Cambion demands.
“I didn’t know what I was!” Eilish shouts at both of them.
“She could still be the way to defeat Variant,” Dragan say, ignoring her.
Cambion laugh acidly at the gargoyle. “She was a way to defeat Variant when she was an angel, you fool. Now she’s just a demon and one that should be and was supposed to be extinct,” he finish as Eilish look down at her feet and the tears start spillin’ from her eyes.
“I still believes you is good,” I say as I come and land on her shoulder. She don’t lift her head.
“I won’t leave her here,” Dragan say, and Eilish lift her head ta look at him but he won’t look back at her. Instead, he glares at Cambion. “And you saw her angel wings as surely as all of us did. Yes, she’s Succubus but you can’t ignore the fact that she’s also angel.”
Cambion sits back down and puts his head in his hands. “I’m not convinced of anything.”
“I won’t leave her out here,” Dragan insist.
“Fine. She fucking comes with us, but I want her hands tied,” Cambion reply with narrowed eyes. “I don’t fucking trust her. From this point onward, she’s our prisoner.”
Eilish turn to look at Dragan but the gargoyle don’t look at her when he speaks. “If Raflamir makes one move to show he’s not on our side, we’re leaving. Is that understood?” I notice he completely avoid commentin’ on Eilish bein’ their prisoner. I’se thinking it’s pretty fucked up, but ain’t no one interested in what I gots ta say, anyways.
Cambion’s face show he ain’t too happy with the gargoyle’s tone, but he still nods. “We’re going to Earlann.”
I look from Dragan, to Cambion, to Eilish, to Baron, before looking back to Dragan again.
“I’m sorry, what?” I asks. “Earleann? As in the Fae Realm?”
“Enough, Flumph,” say Dragan like he’s more tired than he’s ever been.
But he ain’t tired. You know who’s tired? Me. That’s who. Lord Shadow Ass don’t know the meanin’ of no ‘tired.’
“So, let me gets this straight,” I start. “The psychedelic vision rock is dead, so nows we gotta go all the way to faerie land ta some asshole’s house I ain’t never heard of? Even after we decided we couldn’t go to faerie land, ‘cause it was too dangerous? Oh! An’, the former champion of our team is now our prisoner? That sound right to yous?”
They nod. The vamp don’t say nothin’, an’ I ain’t even sure he’s aware we’s around him.
“Well, it don’t sound right to me!” No one say nothin’ so’s I continue, “A bunch o’ lunatics!” I call them.
When Cambion finish his talkin’, the angel—or Succubus— Angelbus —sits back down an’ she look real tired and unhappy. I float down beside her an’ she give me a little smile, like she tryin’ to be strong but she failin’.
“They’ll come ‘round,” I whisper and give her a little thumbs up, but I can’t say I believe my own words so’s I doubt she does.
***
EILISH
I still don’t understand how it’s possible I’m both angel and Succubus. Furthermore, I don’t understand the hatred that stems from the others. Well, maybe I understand Cambion’s increased dislike for me—as he’s a creature of light, it’s natural he should abhor creatures of the dark. But he’s also conveniently forgotten that I’m also still angel.
And Dragan? It pains me intensely when I think of the emptiness in Dragan’s eyes when he looks at me. There was a time when he was my only champion. The feelings between us when he was inside me, the way he looked at me—I half-wonder if he’d loved me?
Now, he can’t stand me. He’s not as obvious as Cambion, of course, but his disgust is there all the same. I can see it every time he looks at me when he thinks I don’t see him looking. His expression is different. It’s as though he sees me, but doesn’t see me . As though I’m someone else in his eyes now.
I can’t count Baron as an ally anymore, either. I don’t know what happened when I touched the stone, but I was trying to help him. I could see he was falling deeper and deeper into whatever trance the stone had woven for him, and I wanted to free him from that dependence. Maybe it was stupid of me, but I thought if I touched the stone, I could use my own power to help free him.
And yet, as soon as I laid my fingers on the stone, it immediately cracked in half. Yes, Baron was freed but at what cost? Now I have no way of knowing who and what I really am, or where I came from or why I still have my wings— both sets of them. The worst part of it all, though, is that I can see a change in Baron now too.
Whatever ally I’d thought I had in him, I don’t anymore.
The only ally I have left is Flumph and he isn’t much of one. I can protect him more than he can protect me. The more I weigh my miserable situation, the clearer it becomes that all four of them would be better off without me.
Cambion obviously wants me gone. I’m fairly sure Dragan feels as though I’ve backstabbed him, simply owing to what I am, and Baron will forever blame me for destroying his chance to learn more about the man he once was. And Flumph? He’d do much better in their protection than in mine.
The more I think about it, the easier it becomes to make a decision.
I will leave.
Once I’m given the opportunity, I’ll find my own way. Where I’ll go? I’m not sure. At least I’m on the Mortal Plane, so my strength won’t be attacked by the shadows. Or maybe the Succubus side me needs the shadows?
But, if such was the case, why did I feel as if I were dying when we were in the Shadow Realm? I’m not sure. I’m chalk full of questions that have no answers.
The only answer I do currently have is that I’m not wanted here. So why would I remain? Just to make all three of them despise me even more than they already do?