Chapter 4
I woke to Brooke singing again-some cheerful tune about a griffin and a maiden that was far too upbeat for dawn. My body ached in new and creative ways, souvenirs from yesterday's Physical Conditioning that promised today would be even worse.
"Up and at 'em, sleeping beauty!" Brooke threw my cloak at me with disturbing accuracy. "Breakfast waits for no one, and I heard they're serving actual bacon today. Real bacon, Serenya. Not the mystery meat we got yesterday."
I groaned and sat up slowly, every muscle protesting. "You're entirely too cheerful in the morning."
"And you're entirely too grumpy. We balance each other out." She was already dressed, her auburn curls somewhat tamed into a braid. "Come on, I'm starving. And if we get there early enough, we can grab seats by the windows."
The promise of sunlight-and not having to sit in the middle of the chaotic dining hall-was enough to motivate me. I dressed quickly, my fingers clumsy with exhaustion, and followed Brooke down the three flights of stairs that felt like climbing down a mountain in reverse.
The dining hall was less crowded this early, with mostly upperclassmen who'd learned the benefits of beating the rush.
Brooke loaded two plates with alarming amounts of food-one for her, one she forced into my hands-and steered us toward a table near the tall windows overlooking the training grounds.
I managed three bites of bread before my stomach rebelled. Brooke sighed but didn't push, too busy demolishing her own breakfast with enthusiasm.
"So," she said between mouthfuls, "Physical Conditioning again today. Think you'll survive?"
"Probably not."
"That's the spirit." She grinned. "But seriously, you did better than expected yesterday. Master Wren didn't actually kill you, which is a victory in itself."
"Only because Caleb Draxen intervened."
"Ah yes, the golden retriever in human form." Brooke's eyes sparkled with mischief. "He's cute, in that 'too cheerful to be real' kind of way. Very different from his brother."
"Very different," I agreed quietly.
Before Brooke could interrogate me further about Kairen-which I could see building in her expression-a familiar cheerful voice interrupted.
"Ladies! Mind if I join you?"
Caleb Draxen appeared beside our table, tray in hand, grinning like he'd been personally invited. Without waiting for an answer, he dropped into the seat across from Brooke.
"Caleb Draxen," he said, offering his hand to Brooke. "Professional troublemaker and occasional hero. You must be the infamous Brooke Barnard. I've heard stories."
Brooke raised an eyebrow, taking his hand with a firm grip. "Infamous? Should I be flattered or concerned?"
"Definitely flattered. Apparently, you knocked three upperclassmen on their asses in Combat Fundamentals yesterday. Master Wren was impressed, which is saying something since she's usually only impressed by excessive violence."
"It was only two upperclassmen," Brooke corrected, but she was smiling. "The third one just tripped. I can't take credit for his clumsiness."
"Modesty! I love it." Caleb's grin widened. "We're going to be great friends, I can tell."
"Is that so?" Brooke leaned back, crossing her arms. "And what makes you think I want to be friends with someone who's clearly never met a stranger?"
"Because I'm charming, devastatingly handsome, and I make excellent company at breakfast." He gestured to his plate, which was piled even higher than Brooke's. "Also, I have insider information about the Academy that could save your life."
"Such as?"
"Such as: never eat the stew on Wednesdays, Master Wren secretly respects anyone who talks back to her, and the library's restricted section has a loose ward on the east wall that-" He glanced at me. "-well, that's probably not information for delicate first-year ears."
"I'm sitting right here," I said dryly.
"I know. You're very small. Easy to miss." His grin took the sting out of the words. "How are you feeling after yesterday's near-death experience? Still breathing?"
"Barely."
"Excellent. That means you're improving." He stole a piece of bacon from Brooke's plate with lightning-quick reflexes. She tried to stab his hand with her fork, but he was already pulling back, laughing.
"Did you just steal my bacon?" Brooke demanded.
"I'm a growing boy. I need sustenance."
"You're a second-year. You're done growing."
"Emotionally, I'm still very immature. I have needs." He popped the bacon in his mouth, looking entirely too pleased with himself.
Brooke stared at him for a moment, then laughed-a real, genuine laugh that made several students look over. "You're ridiculous."
"I prefer 'charmingly roguish,' but I'll take ridiculous." Caleb leaned forward, his expression turning conspiratorial. "So, Brooke Barnard from Stonebrook. Mining village, four brothers, probably grew up wrestling bears and punching rocks. What brings a girl like you to the Academy?"
"How do you know I'm from Stonebrook?"
"I make it my business to know things. Also, you mentioned it loudly in the corridor yesterday. You have a very... carrying voice."
"Are you saying I'm loud?"
"I'm saying you have the lungs of a griffin and the presence of a phoenix. It's a compliment."
Brooke snorted. "Smooth. Do these lines actually work on people?"
"You're smiling, aren't you?"
"That's not-" She stopped, realizing she was indeed smiling. "Damn it."
Caleb's grin was triumphant. "Told you. Charming."
I watched them banter back and forth, feeling simultaneously entertained and like I was intruding on something. They had an easy chemistry-all quick wit and teasing that felt natural, unforced. Brooke was holding her own beautifully, matching Caleb's energy without being overwhelmed by it.
"Serenya thinks I'm annoying," Caleb said suddenly, turning to me. "Tell Brooke I'm not annoying."
"You're annoying," I confirmed.
"See? This is the thanks I get for saving her from Master Wren's wrath." He clutched his chest dramatically. "Betrayed by the very person I rescued."
"You didn't rescue me. You just... delayed the inevitable."
"Semantics." He waved a hand dismissively, then his expression turned more serious. "Actually, how are you feeling? Honestly. Yesterday looked rough."
The genuine concern in his voice surprised me. "I'm fine."
"Liar." But he didn't push. Instead, he turned back to Brooke. "Your friend is stubborn and has a death wish. As her roommate, it's your job to keep her alive."
"I'm trying," Brooke said. "But she won't eat. Look at this." She gestured to my barely touched plate. "Three bites. Three! I'm considering force-feeding her."
"Excellent strategy. I recommend starting with the bacon. Everyone loves bacon." He pushed his own plate toward me. "Here, have some of mine. I stole extra."
"I'm not hungry."
"No one's ever hungry at this place. The trick is to eat anyway." He met my eyes, and for just a moment, the easy humor faded into something more genuine. "Trust me on this. You'll need the energy for what's coming."
Before I could respond, another voice cut through the dining hall noise-cold, clipped, edged with barely contained irritation.
"Caleb."
We all turned. Kairen stood a few feet away, shadows pooling at his feet despite the bright morning sun streaming through the windows. His storm-gray eyes were fixed on his brother with absolutely no warmth.
Behind him, two other boys stood-one tall and lanky with messy brown hair and a half-smirk that suggested he found this entire situation amusing, the other broad-shouldered and dark-skinned with the kind of patient expression that spoke of long practice dealing with drama.
"Terrance! Torin!" Caleb's cheerfulness didn't waver. "Join us! We're having a delightful breakfast conversation about-"
"No." Kairen's voice was flat. "We need to leave."
"We just got here."
"And now we're leaving."
Caleb sighed, looking genuinely put out. "Kairen, I'm in the middle of making new friends. Can your mysterious brooding wait five minutes?"
"No."
The temperature around our table dropped several degrees. Brooke's eyes widened. I felt my breath mist in the suddenly cold air.
The lanky boy-Terrance-stepped forward, his half-smirk widening into something more genuine. "Come on, Kairen. Let the kid socialize. He's like a puppy. If you don't let him interact with other humans, he gets weird."
"I'm not a puppy," Caleb protested.
"You literally just stole bacon off someone's plate like a dog begging for scraps," Torin said mildly. "The comparison is apt."
"That was strategic bacon acquisition, completely different-"
"Caleb." Kairen's voice dropped another degree. "Now."
His eyes flicked to me for just a fraction of a second-so brief I might have imagined it-before snapping back to his brother. But in that moment, I saw something in his expression. Not anger. Not contempt.
Fear.
The shadows at his feet writhed restlessly, reaching toward our table before he forcibly pulled them back. His jaw was clenched so tight I could see the muscle jumping.
"Fine, fine." Caleb stood, grabbing one last piece of bacon from his plate.
"It was lovely meeting you, Brooke. You're delightful and terrifying in equal measure.
Serenya, eat something or I'll sic Brooke on you.
" He paused, his grin turning mischievous.
"Brooke, if you're free later, I know where they keep the good training equipment.
The stuff Master Wren doesn't let first-years touch. Could be fun."
"Is this your way of asking me on a date?" Brooke asked, eyebrow raised.
"Would you say yes if it was?"
"Absolutely not."
"Then it's definitely not a date. Just two warriors bonding over superior weaponry." He winked. "I'll find you after Combat Fundamentals."
"You're very presumptuous."
"It's part of my charm." He followed Kairen toward the door, calling back over his shoulder. "Don't die in training!"
We watched them leave-Caleb still grinning, Terrance looking amused, Torin looking resigned, and Kairen walking like he was trying to escape a burning building.
Brooke stared after them, a slight smile playing at her lips. "He's ridiculous."
"Completely," I agreed.
"But also kind of sweet. In an annoying, overly cheerful way." She picked up her fork, then paused. "Did you see the way his brother looked at you?"
My stomach dropped. "What? No. He didn't look at me."
"He definitely did. Right before he demanded they leave. Like you were..." She trailed off, thinking. "I don't know. Like you were something dangerous he needed to get away from."
"You're imagining things."
"Maybe." But she didn't sound convinced. "Serenya, what's going on with you and Kairen Draxen?"
"Nothing. Absolutely nothing."
"Then why do his shadows keep reaching for you?"
I froze, my hand halfway to my water glass. "What?"
"Just now. When he was standing there. I saw it-the shadows at his feet stretching toward our table.
Toward you specifically." Brooke's voice dropped lower.
"I've haven't been around shadow-bonded people before but I don't think their shadows don't do that.
They don't reach without permission. But his do. For you."
"You're seeing things that aren't there."
"Am I?" She studied me with those sharp green eyes. "Or are you not telling me something?"
I wanted to tell her. Wanted to explain about the shadows under my bed, about the way they touched me and made the pain stop, about the impossible connection I felt to someone I'd barely spoken to.
But how could I explain something I didn't understand myself?
"There's nothing to tell," I said finally. "Kairen Draxen is a third-year with a dragon bond and absolutely no interest in a sick first-year scholarship student. Whatever you think you're seeing, you're wrong."
Brooke didn't look convinced, but she let it drop. "Fine. But when this inevitably becomes a dramatic situation, I'm going to say I told you so."
"Noted."
We finished breakfast in companionable silence, though I could feel Brooke's gaze on me occasionally, assessing. When we finally headed to our morning classes, I tried not to think about Kairen's expression when he'd looked at me.
Tried not to think about how it had looked less like contempt and more like terror.
Like I was something that could destroy him.
Like he was already losing a battle I didn't know we were fighting.
Physical Conditioning was brutal.
Master Wren seemed to have decided that since I'd survived yesterday, I could handle more punishment today. She was wrong, but that didn't stop her from pushing.
"Vale! Faster!"
I was running-if you could call it that-around the perimeter of the training yard again. My lungs burned, my legs trembled, and I could taste blood in my throat. But I kept moving, driven by sheer stubborn refusal to give up on day three.
Around me, other first-years trained-some sparring in the combat rings, others working through obstacle courses, a few practicing basic magic with their weak unbonded abilities. Everyone was struggling, but I was the only one who looked like I might actually die.
I made it halfway through the second lap before I had to stop, hands on my knees, coughing so hard my vision went white at the edges.
"Don't stop!" Master Wren barked. "Walk it off!"
I tried. My legs buckled.
Strong hands caught me before I hit the ground.
"Easy." The voice was deep, patient. "Breathe slowly. In through your nose."
I looked up to see Torin-the broad-shouldered boy who'd been with Kairen at breakfast. Up close, he was even more imposing, but his dark eyes were kind as he steadied me.
"I'm fine," I gasped.
"You're not fine. You're about to pass out." He kept a firm grip on my arm. "Master Wren! She needs water!"
Master Wren stalked over, her expression severe. "Draxen's friend playing hero now too?"
"Someone has to," Torin said mildly. "Unless you want to explain to the Headmistress why a first-year died on your watch."
They stared at each other for a long moment. Then Master Wren sighed. "Fine. Vale, water break. Ten minutes. Then you walk laps. No running today."
She moved on to terrorize other students.
Torin guided me toward the water barrels at the edge of the yard. "Sit," he ordered, pointing to a bench.
I sat, too tired to argue.
He handed me a ladle of water, watching as I drank. "Caleb mentioned you. Said you were stubborn."
"That's one word for it."
"Foolish is another." But his tone wasn't harsh. "You're going to kill yourself if you keep pushing like this."
"Better than giving up."
"Is it?" He sat beside me, the bench creaking under his weight. "There's no honor in dying during training. The real trial is seven weeks away. You need to survive until then."
"I'll survive."
"Will you?" His eyes were too perceptive. "Your body is failing, Serenya. Anyone can see that. The question is whether your spirit is strong enough to overcome it."
I looked at him sharply. "Did Caleb send you to give me a pep talk?"
"Caleb doesn't send me anywhere. I do what I think is right." He was quiet for a moment. "I've been at this Academy for three years. I've seen hundreds of students come and go. Most who look like you don't make it past the first week. But occasionally-very occasionally-someone proves us all wrong."
"You think I'll prove you wrong?"
"I think you're here for a reason. Whether that reason is enough to keep you alive..." He shrugged. "That's up to you."
Before I could respond, a cold presence swept across the training yard like winter wind.
Kairen.
He was on the opposite side, working through combat drills with a practice sword that moved so fast it was almost a blur. Shadows wrapped around his arms, enhancing his strikes, moving with him like extensions of his body. It was beautiful and terrifying in equal measure.
Every few strikes, his eyes would flick toward me. Just for a second. Just long enough that I knew it was intentional.
Then he'd look away, his jaw clenching, his movements becoming more aggressive.
"He's watching you," Torin observed.
"He's not-"
"He is. He's been watching you since you walked onto the training grounds. Kairen doesn't watch anyone except his opponents." Torin's voice was thoughtful. "It's making him sloppy. He's usually much better controlled than this."
I watched as Kairen completed a particularly vicious combination, his practice sword slamming into the training dummy with enough force to crack the wood. The shadows around him writhed like agitated serpents.
"What happened to him?" I asked quietly. "Caleb said the bond took too much. Made him empty. But what does that mean?"
Torin was silent for so long I thought he wouldn't answer.
Then: "Dragon bonds are different from other bonds.
They require absolute trust, absolute surrender.
For most people, that's impossible. But Kairen...
" He shook his head. "Kairen was fifteen.
Young, grieving, angry at the world. Nyx saw something in him-something worth bonding with.
But the process... it burned out most of his emotions.
Left him with just the rage and the cold.
Everything else-joy, fear, love, hope-it's all muted.
Distant. Like feeling things through thick glass. "
"That's horrible."
"It is. But it also makes him incredibly powerful. Without emotions to cloud his judgment, he's one of the most dangerous mages in the Academy. Maybe in the country." Torin's eyes found Kairen across the yard. "The problem is, recently, things have been... changing."
"Changing how?"
"His control is slipping. His shadows are acting independently. He's feeling things he shouldn't be able to feel." Torin looked at me directly. "And it started the day you arrived."
My heart stopped. "That's not-I didn't-"
"I'm not accusing you of anything. Just stating facts." He stood, offering me his hand. "But whatever's happening between you two, be careful. Kairen's spent five years building walls around himself. If those walls come down..." He paused. "I don't know what it will do to him. Or to you."
He pulled me to my feet and walked away, leaving me standing alone by the water barrels.
Across the training yard, Kairen had stopped drilling. He stood perfectly still, his sword lowered, staring directly at me.
Even from this distance, I could see the shadows at his feet reaching toward me. Straining against his control.
Reaching.
Always reaching.
And in my chest, something answered back.
The rest of the day passed in a painful blur. More classes, more training, more reminders that I didn't belong here. By the time evening came, I could barely climb the stairs to my room.
Brooke found me collapsed on my bed, still in my training clothes.
"You smell like death," she announced. "Also, Caleb Draxen came by looking for me. We're meeting up after dinner to raid the training equipment."
"That sounds like a terrible idea."
"Probably. But he's entertaining, and I could use some fun." She paused. "You should come."
"I can barely move."
"Then rest. But eat this first." She dropped a napkin-wrapped bundle on my bed. "Stole it from dinner. Bread and cheese. Not much, but better than nothing."
"Brooke-"
"Don't argue. Just eat." She disappeared into the washroom, humming that same cheerful tune from the morning.
I stared at the food, my stomach turning. But Caleb's words echoed in my head: You'll need the energy for what's coming.
I managed half the bread before exhaustion pulled me under.
I woke sometime later to darkness and the familiar sensation of cold silk against my skin.
The shadow had emerged from beneath my bed, bolder now, more confident. It wrapped around my wrist like a bracelet, pulsing gently, and the pain in my chest vanished.
I lay there in the dark, feeling Kairen somewhere in the Academy, feeling his presence like a storm on the horizon.
And I wondered, not for the first time, what would happen when that storm finally broke.
When the walls Torin warned about came crashing down.
When shadow and light finally collided.
Seven weeks suddenly felt like both an eternity and nowhere near enough time.