Chapter 20
Chapter
Twenty
SOFIYA
“ W e’ll talk every day,” Mila says, hugging me tightly. We’re standing in the private airfield beside Mikhail’s jet. Today is the day my sisters will go back to New York, and I will remain in Moscow.
“Of course, we will,” I promise.
Vik rolls her eyes when Mila and I pull back from our hug. “I’m not calling you every day. Maybe once a week. Max. Can’t promise anything else. I have a life to get back to. Ballet. See some of my friends.”
“Never change, Vik,” I tell her.
“What friends?” Mila asks honestly, making me laugh and causing Vik to roll her eyes harder.
“I have friends, Mila. At the company. From school. I’m not a total recluse.”
“No,” she agrees. “But ballet takes up most of your life.”
“It takes up most of our lives. You’re getting back into it, too, when we return.”
Mila gives me a subtle look. She doesn’t want to return to dance. I almost laugh. She’s going to have a field day telling Vik about that. If there’s one thing I know about my older sister, it’s that Vik expects everyone to do what she wants to do. If she wants to dance, she assumes you want to as well.
“Good luck,” I tell Mila, but it’s Vik who answers with, “Thanks.”
Mila waves goodbye as she and Vik walk up the stairs and onto the plane. Mikhail stands beside me, wrapping his arm around my waist. I lean into him, seeking his comfort. My eyes water once I can no longer see them. They’ll be safe in New York, I remind myself. My sisters will be fine.
It’s up to me to find my own life without them. Eventually, they’ll do the same.
I’m about to turn away when I see Vik’s face in one of the windows. She doesn’t wave. Instead, she nods down at me, giving me a soft look. Vik and I have been through a lot. Arguments, competition, the loss of our parents. We haven’t always gotten along, but she’s shown me how good of a sister she is.
She’s blunt and honest and sometimes mean, but when I needed her the most, she was there. I know she’ll continue to be that way for Mila.
And if I ever need to call her, I know I can depend on her.
I smile at her, and she slowly smiles back.
After Mary's death, the house is quieter. Mikhail hasn’t found a new housekeeper yet, but I did ask him to hire someone I can get along with, and he agreed. I know Mary’s death left him shaken because she worked for him for years.
When we step through the front door, my eyes land on the spot where Mary and Fedor died just a week earlier. The blood stains have been cleaned up. Their bodies are gone, of course. Buried by now. It’s like they never even existed.
Over the past week, I’ve been dealing with the fact that I have blood on my hands now. Mikhail has been a great support—never pushing me beyond what I’m comfortable with. We haven’t even had sex since the incident. Mikhail’s been more open with me, sharing with me more stories about Alexei, from the time he wouldn’t let go of Mikhail’s leg his first day of school to the time he drew permanent marker all over the floors, and they had to be replaced.
I love hearing these stories. They’ve brought Alexei alive in my eyes and give me hope that one day, when Mikhail and I have our own child, Mikhail will be a great father. Much better than my own—who always made Vik and me compete for his affection.
I’ve told Mikhail more about my past—how my father treated me and how my mother was always there to pick up the pieces. I’ll never know who killed them. That’s the life I live in. The Bratva is a dark and dangerous place. I’ve spilled blood myself. I’m officially trapped inside it with no way out.
But Mikhail is a part of it, and because of him, I never want to leave.
He’s my only shield in this dark world. The only one who can truly understand what I have gone through. I spared Mila the pain of murder, and Vik wasn’t there to see it happen. Mikhail knows blood, though. He’s been both the victim and perpetrator.
I am the same.
When he holds me at night, I fall asleep knowing I am right where I belong.
Mikhail and I eat a simple dinner after saying goodbye to my sisters. Food is too much right now. I already miss them.
“They will be all right,” he tells me, grabbing my hand. “Your sisters are tougher than they look. And so are you.”
“I have you. I’m happy despite being sad. Does that make sense?”
“It does.” He strokes his thumb up and down the back of my hand. “What would you like to do tonight? Watch a movie? You said I still need to watch …” He scrunches up his face. “What was it?”
“ Bridgerton . And it’s a show, by the way.” I shake my head. “I can’t believe you’d be willing to watch it with me. It’s a romance.”
“I love you. I’m not afraid of romance.”
“How do you do it?”
“Do what?” he asks.
“One moment, you’re my big, scary husband. And the next moment, you’re sweet and kind. How do you do it?”
“I finally let my heart open back up again. And I’m still big and scary. Don’t let any of my men think otherwise.”
I zip my fingers over my lips. “Mum’s the word.”
He chuckles as he leans over to kiss me. “I’m holding you to it.”
I let his lips linger on mine before deepening the kiss. Mikhail gently grabs my waist and pulls me into his lap, where he traces his fingers along my hips.
I know at this moment that I want to be with him again. My body never stopped singing for him. The shock of what I had to do has begun to wear off a little. The silence over Mary’s death has subsided. I know I’m ready again.
“Mikhail,” I gasp when he draws his lips down my throat. My hands clutch his back, my fingers digging into his shirt.
He growls softly. “I wanted to fuck you the moment you were safe in my arms, but I didn’t want to push you. How do you feel now?”
I say the words that feel fully and completely right. “I need you.”
Without a word, Mikhail carries me in his arms up to our bedroom, where he lays me gently onto the bed. For all the times he was rough and demanding with my body, the fact that he’s gentle this time makes me almost cry from happiness.
Mikhail keeps his eyes locked on mine as he slips off my dress and then unclasps my bra. When he kneels before me and grabs the edges of my underwear, I am breathless. Kissing my stomach, he rips them down, making me gasp. Ok, so, not completely gentle.
My hands scrabble at his shirt, practically tearing it off him as I stand back up. Mikhail kisses me deeply as our fingers collide over his belt buckle, each of us desperate to be naked together. He smiles against my lips, his fingers unzipping his pants and pushing them down.
I gasp when he lifts me into his arms, making me wrap my legs around him as we lie on the bed. I expect Mikhail to grab my hips and enter me like he always does …
… but instead, he rolls onto his back. “I want you to be on top tonight.”
Mikhail has always been in control of our sex life. It’s what I’ve always needed.
He’s showing me right now that he still knows what I need. After everything I’ve been through, I have felt out of control. He’s offering me the chance to take my own control back by being on top.
“Ok,” I whisper, straddling his hips. His erection brushes my entrance, making me tremble. “I’ve never done this before.”
“I’ll teach you.” He grips my hips. “Follow my lead.”
Then he pulls me down onto his length, entering me in one smooth motion. The sensation is so overpowering that I can’t hold back my moan. Mikhail’s eyes are dark with lust … and love. He’s gazing up at me like I’m the most beautiful woman in the world.
Slowly, I shift my hips forward, getting used to this new position. Mikhail hisses, tightening his hold on my waist. I place my hands on his chest to steady myself before I begin to let go.
The more confident I get, the faster I move my hips back and forth. “Mikhail,” I gasp, grinding my body down.
He growls deeply in his throat as he sits up, bringing our chests together, and kisses me hard. I kiss him back just as eagerly.
Mikhail wraps his arms around me. I’ve never felt safer in my entire life.
Our kiss is frantic and wild. We’ve never really kissed during sex before, and doing it this time only reminds me of how far we’ve come. There’s no more distance between us.
Only desire.
And love.
Every thrust of our hips together sends a spike of pleasure through me. I’m getting closer and closer.
“Mikhail,” I whisper against his lips. “I love you.”
He locks his eyes with mine. “I love you.”
It’s the right amount to send me over the edge.
I moan, and my head drops back as my body trembles. Mikhail doesn’t let me go once.
He continues to pull my body down until he finally comes. I love the way his hands tighten on my body before relaxing.
We’re both breathing heavily as we slump back onto the bed.
“How was that?” he asks.
I know my answer without even having to think about it.
“It was perfect.”
Our marriage didn’t start that way, but we got there in the end.
Mikhail places his hand on my stomach, both of us thinking about what our future will be like when we have children.
It won’t be easy, but I know it, too, will be perfect.
I cover my hand with his and bring it up to rest over my heart, right where it belongs.
The End