46. Chapter Forty-Six
Chapter Forty-Six
Malina
“ A re you insane?”
I didn’t blame the wariness of the Atarans gathered in the village as Nikan and I told them Atara was nearly restored. Luthon had remained quiet until now, but he clearly didn’t believe us.
“We’ve seen it with our own eyes,” Nikan said, gesturing to me.
I hated being here in front of all of them with their mixed looks of hope and disbelief.
“It’s true. Just before we came here, we stood on Ataran land. The Glaev is disappearing quickly, and it won’t be long before you can walk to the border and see it for yourself.”
“We’re not lying,” Nikan defended, stepping forward. “Additionally, Lord Ryker has seen it. He’s the one who told us about it in the first place and who brought us here.”
“Why hasn’t Lord Ryker come to tell us?” a female with a fiery look demanded with her arms crossed over her chest.
“Because Lord Ryker is otherwise engaged in preventing your Nation from being taken by another,” a low, commanding voice said behind me that had me whipping my head around.
Hakoa approached, giving me a brief glance before looking over the group of people before us with the hard expression of the Chief of the Noavo.
“And you don’t need to hear it from him because he has sent you two Atarans to tell you. Additionally, I am telling you. Malina and Nikan deserve nothing but your trust,” his voice carried over the small crowd.
The respect they had for him was evident as they nodded at his words.
I, on the other hand, wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out. But Hakoa subtly brushed his fingers against mine, comforting me.
“Is that why there are so many Noavo stationed just outside the village? Because another Nation is coming?” Luthon asked.
“From the information we’ve gathered, the other Nations are now aware of Atara, and they have assembled their forces. Without a Worthy or a people, they see Atara as open land up for grabs,” Hakoa stated.
“But it does have people,” the fiery female said, gesturing to the Atarans.
“Yes, but no one knows that, Niabi. They all think we’re either dead or on the Drift Islands. Hence why we’ve been confined to this village for the past twenty years,” one of the males a few paces away from her said. “Or did you think we just wanted to keep our existence a secret for fun?”
They looked so similar, like they could be related. Both had white hair and dark skin, but their eyes were different. While his were a dark brown, hers were a light caramel.
“Shut up, Lucar. I know that. I’m not stupid,” Niabi seethed.
“I beg to differ,” Lucar quipped.
Niabi growled and lifted her hand, giving him a crude gesture.
Definitely siblings .
“What I mean is we are here. Can’t we just go in and reclaim it for ourselves, and they’ll back off?” Niabi clarified, speaking to Hakoa while glaring at Lucar.
“That’s the plan, but it’s likely to result in them killing all of you and taking it by force anyway. That’s why we’re here—to defend it,” Hakoa said, gesturing to us and the Noavo encampment.
“And how do you plan to do that?” Luthon asked earnestly.
Nikan shared a glance with me before looking back at Luthon. “We’re working on it.”
***
“We’re working on it?” I asked Nikan once we made it back to the encampment. He wielded two rocks from the ground into chairs for us to sit inside the tent.
He plopped down on one and ran a hand through his hair. “Sort of.”
“Well, do you have a plan? Because I sure don’t,” I huffed, crossing my arms.
“Not entirely, but what I do have mostly involves you teaching them how to defend themselves and keeping them safe until Kya returns,” he said nonchalantly.
I blinked. “Me?”
“That’s what I just said.”
“Why not you or Ryker? Or literally anyone else .” They clearly didn’t trust me.
“Ryker already has a Nation, he can’t lead another one. Not to mention, he’s preoccupied looking for Kya while simultaneously trying to prevent a war from ensuing. And I’m going with him,” he said.
“What?! You can’t just leave,” I said incredulously.
He leveled me with a serious look. “You need time to recover. Additionally, I have diplomatic experience. I’ve dealt with the Scholars and the Sages for years as well as the Worthy. If I can do anything to help prevent a coming war I have to try.”
“So you and Ryker are going on some buddy trip together? You two hate each other. You just punched him in the face the other day.” I crossed my arms over my chest.
“I think we’re actually understanding each other a little more now, and despite me hitting him, we’re not as hostile toward one another. I don’t know.” He shrugged. “He’s not so bad.”
“He’s still an ass…” I grumbled.
Nikan chuckled, “I didn’t say he wasn’t. But regardless, I’m going with him, and someone needs to guide the other Atarans”
I pursed my lips. “I still don’t understand why it should be me.”
“They’ve been isolated for the last two decades, and none of them seem to have the skills or knowledge on how this needs to be done.”
I scoffed, “And I do?”
Nikan held my stare for a moment. “You grew up in Morah. You’ve studied our realm and our Nation’s history. And you know Kya. You know how she would handle things. How she will handle things. We just need to protect Atara until she comes back.”
I tried not to roll my eyes. I wasn’t about to get into another argument with him about this. I still didn’t believe she was alive, but I could at least do this for Nikan, for my people. I wouldn’t do this with the hopes Kya was coming back but with the expectation she wasn’t. We could hold off until things were settled with the other Nations, hold a vote and—
Ayen’s ass… Am I actually considering doing this?
“Nik,” I sighed. “They don’t trust me. ”
“Then make them. You’re off the demid. You’ll always struggle with it, but show them who you are, and they’ll see.” He placed a hand on my shoulder. “I won’t be gone forever, and when I’m able, I’ll be right beside you. Then we’ll have Kya by our side too.”
“Yeah, how is that going to work exactly?” I asked, leaning back.
“What do you mean?”
“What is your grand plan to bring Kya back?” I clarified.
“For starters, I’m going to be the lure for Daegel. The dark book is the bait. If we can subdue Daegel, Ryker thinks we can convince him to trade the book for Kya.”
“The book we don’t want him to have? We don’t even know what he wants with it or what would happen if he got his evil little hands on it,” I said.
This whole situation was just fucked up.
“Can’t you just kill him?” I asked.
“Trust me. I would love to. But I’m not sure I can. Not to mention, we certainly can’t until we get Kya back from him.”
“This is a shit plan,” I mumbled under my breath.
We sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to the peaceful bustle of the warriors outside getting ready to settle down for the evening.
I heard Hakoa in the distance, and I wanted to be near him. I could still feel the electric shock from when he grazed his knuckles across the back of my hand from before. And I wanted to thank him for stepping in and standing up for me.
“When do you leave?” I said, breaking the comfortable silence.
“Before dawn. So, I better go get some sleep.” Nikan stood, pulling me to stand and embracing me, then placed a kiss on top of my hair.
As he left, I caught a glimpse of Hakoa walking between the tents a few rows down. I rushed out, waving to Nikan as I followed where Hakoa was headed until I caught up to him.
He entered his tent, the cloth flap closing just as I approached.
I didn’t know where we were together. I had been horrible to him back in Morah, but then we shared that moment after I asked him to take the demid from me. We hadn’t actually spoken since then unless it was in Acalen about the Atarans.
I didn’t deserve his forgiveness nor his kindness. After all I had done to him, he had been there for me. He could have just been there in Atara because Ryker made him. But he touched my hand earlier…
“Uh, Hakoa,” I called quietly. “It’s Malina.”
My heart raced, and my stomach knotted when no answer came.
“I just wanted to talk to you for a minute. But if you don’t want to—”
A hand popped out from inside the tent and grabbed my wrist, yanking me inside through the opening. My body slammed into Hakoa’s, and I looked up just before his lips pressed against mine.
I wasn’t going to question it. Just like back in Atara, the feeling of his lips against mine was like coming up for air. We needed to talk, but right now all I could think about was his hand reaching up to cup my face, tilting my head back to deepen the kiss. There was a desperation to it but it wasn’t rushed.
His tongue swiped across the seam of my lips, and I parted them for him. The moment I felt his tongue against mine, everything else fell away. I didn’t feel the pain and shame I had been carrying for so long. I didn’t remember anything, living only in the comfort of the moment. All the noise in my head finally quieted, and I was at peace.
This was better than any poisonous drop that had ever touched my lips.
I met each languid stroke of his tongue with my own. Each movement made my stomach flutter, and every place he touched me was scorching like fire against my skin. It was too much yet not enough at the same time.
My hands wrapped around the back of his neck, running my fingers through his short hair.
The kiss was slow and controlled, as if he were savoring every moment just as much as I was. There wasn’t anywhere I had to be. No one to keep it hidden from. Nothing to get in the way.
I wasn’t going to push him away again.
Hakoa pulled back with a small smile on his face and rested his forehead against mine. “Sorry. I had to. I couldn’t stop myself any longer,” he whispered.
“It’s okay. I’m glad you did,” I breathed.
It certainly helped to clear things up on how he felt.
He took half a step back but reached down to take my hand in his. “How are you?”
“Right now? Fantastic.”
His smile widened, showcasing his teeth. “Good. Because I can’t promise I won’t do that again.”
Yes, please do.
He pulled me over to a set of small chairs, and we sat down next to each other, with my hand still in his. “What did you want to talk about?”
My mind blanked. I had completely forgotten everything, too distracted by his lips from moments before.
“I…um. Oh, I wanted to thank you,” I said, finally remembering.
He tilted his head to the side slightly. His thumb stroked the back of my hand.
“For kissing you? ”
“No. I mean, yes. Thank you for that too,” I stumbled on my words.
For Nox’s sake, Mal. Get it together.
“I wanted to thank you, for earlier. When you backed me up in front of the Atarans. And for the other day with…you know,” I said sheepishly.
Hakoa’s face softened. “I didn’t do anything, Malina. You did. It was all you. It was your decision. And as for earlier, you’re welcome, but I meant what I said. You are deserving of their trust.”
I gave a tight-lipped smile. I didn’t feel like I deserved it.
“I, um, also wanted to say how sorry I am for what I said to you back in Morah.” I looked down at my lap, not wanting to look in his eyes. “I was trying to hurt you—to get you to leave. I was so obsessed with taking another dose, and I didn’t want you to see who I had become.”
He tensed, squeezing my hand and staying silent for several moments.
Shame washed over me. I still wanted demid. I wanted it every second, but I knew how far I had fallen, and I never wanted to be like that again.
“It’s ironic, really,” he said finally. He hooked a finger under my chin and lifted my head to look at him. I was surprised to find a grin on his lips. “Because now you understand the same obsession I have with you. And how damn hard it was for me to walk away.”
“But…what I said to you… You deserve someone better.”
“I deserve you. We’re meant to be together. I know it,” he said with certainty.
“If we were truly meant to be together then the Gods would have willed it with a bond.” I had never really cared about the bond, but the words left my lips before I realized .
“Then they made a mistake. I refuse to believe it was an accident we were created to exist in the same lifetime and not be made to be together.”
My heart leapt. “But I’ve messed everything up.”
He stroked his thumb over my lip. “I don’t care what you’ve done or who you’ve fucked before this moment, so long as after it, you’re with me .” His eyes were hard and unyielding.
My lip trembled and tears welled, blurring my vision. I closed my eyes, and the tears fell down my cheeks. His thumb pulled at my lower lip, brushing against it before he kissed me softly.
“I’m not mad at you, sunshine. Yes, it hurt. I won’t lie about that. But you walked away from that overwhelming fixation on your own, and trust me, I know how difficult it is. Even I wasn’t strong enough to do it. Not from you. I am so fucking proud of you,” he said against my mouth and kissed me again. “Now, come here.”
Hakoa pulled me onto his lap and held me, kissing me through the tears falling down my face.
I didn’t deserve this. I didn’t deserve him. But I was grateful, and I promised myself right then I would never hurt him like that again.
After I was done crying like some emotional idiot and pulled myself together, it was time to start making up for the mistakes I had made.
“I won’t let you down. I promise never to take demid again. I won’t even drink,” I swore.
“You can probably still drink—”
“No,” I said firmly. “I don’t trust myself not to spiral. And I want to prove to my people I can be trusted like you assured them.”
He nodded slowly. “Alright.”
“And I want to show them Atara. They need to see it. I won’t let them think you vouched for me falsely.”
The side of his mouth lifted. “I agree. When do you want to show them?”
“Right now.”