61. Chapter Sixty-One
Chapter Sixty-One
Kya
I took Ryker by the hand and led him inside, letting Odarum know I’d be back soon. This was a conversation that deserved privacy.
“You saw her?” Ryker asked quietly just as we entered the bedchamber.
“Yeah. We were…imprisoned together.”
I didn’t really know how to say that her life was being used against me. I also didn’t know if it was her choice or Daegel’s to grow closer to me, to build a relationship with me so I would be more inclined to do what he wanted in order to spare her.
“Your father had been right the whole time. She was alive—”
“How did she die?” he asked with a stone expression.
For a split second, I was confused on how he could know she died. But then I understood.
Cadoc.
My eyes lowered to the ground. I couldn’t look Ryker in the eye. I wasn’t sure what he would think of me, of what I’d done—the choices I’d made.
Please don’t hate me…
“I never will,” he said through our bond, hearing my thoughts.
I toed the floor, unsure of where to start.
“Leysa…” I released a shaky breath. “Daegel wanted me to complete a task for him, and I kept refusing. Your mother was being used as an incentive, so I would do what he wanted. He kept us together constantly, which was nice because I got to know her.” I swallowed.
“A couple of days before you came for me, Daegel was gone, and I saw an opportunity to escape, so I took it. I tried to get Leysa to come with me but…she had made a deal with Daegel. She was cursed. She had to get me to complete his task, then she could go home. She made the deal before she knew who I was, but it didn’t change the terms. If I didn’t finish his task, if I didn’t do what he wanted, she wouldn’t have been able to uphold her end of the deal. When I was trying to escape, she tried to stop me.” My lower lip trembled as I whispered, “I wouldn’t let her.”
Ryker remained still for a minute, and I continued to stare at the floor. I waited for his reaction, assuming he would be repulsed and furious with me, but it never came.
He lifted my chin with a finger, dragging my eyes up to meet his mournful gaze. “I’m sorry you had to do that.”
“Wha—Why are you sorry? I killed your mother.”
“But you killed your friend and the only person you had there. And I don’t believe you killed her. Her deal with Daegel did.” His lips pulled into a tight line.
“I thought you’d be more upset about her death.”
He sighed heavily. “I am. But I’ve gone through the past fifty years thinking she was dead already. I have already grieved and accepted her death long ago. And it was my fault for assuming she was dead and not believing my father. It wasn’t until you fell that I realized my father was right. I feel guilty about it. I mourned her while she was fighting to survive, to get back. Like you.”
“Did… Did Cadoc tell you?”
He frowned and nodded. “I was there when their bond was broken. Mav was too.”
Oh, Gods. Cadoc and Mavris… Would they be as understanding when they learn I was Leysa’s murderer? It doesn’t matter. They have a right to know.
I swallowed my nerves. “I should tell them.”
He bent his head down and kissed me softly. This really wasn’t how I was expecting this to go. I had spent days in those woods anticipating his reaction, and this wasn’t how I imagined it.
“We’ll tell them together. But now there’s something you should know before we go. Something…important.”
The tense look in his eyes made my stomach twist, making me think whatever he was about to say would break my heart even more.
The last two days were already filled with so much emotion I wasn’t sure I could handle anything else. All I wanted was to stay here in this room with Ryker for a while and forget everything else outside of it. I just wanted a chance to breathe for a moment. I wanted to be able to be in his presence without the weight of so much on our shoulders. Just once.
But I knew the reality of the world, and problems didn’t disappear just because I had returned.
“What is it?”
He led me to the bed and sat, pulling me down next to him while he trailed his fingers up and down my mating mark and wedding band.
“I’m sorry to give you so much all at once, but this isn’t something that can wait. When you cleared a path for you and Malina to get to Daegel at the Rip, your Waalu continued to spread.”
I held my breath, anticipating what he was about to say and praying to the Gods I was right.
“In the months you’ve been gone, Atara has nearly healed completely.”
My jaw fell.
“And,” he continued. “There are Atarans there waiting for you.”
I gasped with a smile. “The Drift Islands returned?”
Did I do it? Did I complete my task for Kleio and restore the balance so my people could return? My family—
“No,” he said softly, seeing the disappointment on my face mixed with confusion. “The ones who have been living in Oryn for the past twenty years.”
My eyes widened. “What?! Who are they? How many? Why didn’t you tell me about them?” I stood and spun to face him with my hands on my hips.
Ryker stood slowly, standing to his full height and towering over me. “Because I didn’t know you were from Atara.”
Oh shit.
“You know?” I whispered.
“Yes. And I didn’t find out from my mate . I didn’t tell you about the ninety-seven Atarans who have been living here in secret for the past twenty years because, even though you were the Worthy of Atara, you were going to be Lady of Oryn, and they live here . I’ve considered them my people all this time, and I still do. I’ve ensured they’ve been protected and had everything they needed. Just like I do with everyone else in Oryn. Had I known you were from Atara, I would have told you, but I didn’t think it would matter since I didn’t know you had any connection to them. Not to mention, they still couldn’t go back. Atara was gone with no indication it would be restored. So regardless, you were going to be Lady over them.”
Oh…
“You’re right. I should have told you I was from Atara, but I was afraid for Nik and Mal. They aren’t Worthy and had no protection from a Nation. And,” I paused to take a breath, “I wanted to wait until I was inducted as Lady of Oryn so I could provide a safe place for my people on the Drift Islands to return.”
“Because you didn’t trust me,” he said plainly. He wasn’t being demeaning, just stating the truth.
I blinked back my tears. I should have trusted him long ago, but my trust had been clouded by the warnings of others, going against my better judgment.
“I was scared. I admit that. But…”
Gods, I’d made so many mistakes.
“I trust you, Ryker. Fully.”
He held my stare for several moments. “I’ve seen little evidence of that, Kya. You haven’t shown me you trust me. But I need you to. I really do. Because Atara is under threat from the other Nations, and if we want to defend it, we need to trust each other. ”
“Why are the other Nations a threat to Atara?” I asked.
“When it was noticed Atara was healing, three of the Worthy decided to take the opportunity to expand their Nations and use Atara for land and resources. And since it was uninhabited and everyone thought you were dead—”
“I wasn’t here to protect it,” I interjected. For the love of Nox. I hadn’t even had the chance to see Atara, and I already had to worry about it being taken away.
So many mistakes…
Ryker slumped to the bed and ran a hand through his messy hair. “The Noavo, a few of the Atarans, as well as Malina and Nikan, are stationed at the border waiting.”
“Well, let’s go!” I couldn’t just sit here and not be there to protect Atara with them.
I turned to rush out the door, but Ryker gripped my arm and pulled me back.
“Stop, stop, stop,” he said gently. “You’ve only just returned, and you still need to rest. The other Nations won’t be there for a while. We can go tomorrow.”
“I can rest while we’re there.”
“Little gem,” he whispered, his eyes pleading. “I need one day where I don’t have to worry about you. Please. I swear, I’ll take you tomorrow.”
I couldn’t help the slight smile despite my resigned sigh. “Alright.”
I spent the next several hours with Odarum. Ryker stayed nearby, but he kept distance between us so Odarum and I could have our time together. Odarum flew down to meet me on the front lawn which was covered in a thick blanket of snow.
We walked alongside one another talking about his few weeks in Hylithria while he healed and my months in the realm of Vansera. We aimlessly strode through the Voara palace grounds until my toes nearly froze, but I welcomed the biting temperature against my skin. It made me feel alive.
“And there’s nothing I can do to get them back?” I asked, resting a hand on his shoulder while we walked.
“Your shifting is not magic. It is a part of your physical form just as your arms and legs are. I am sorry, but the loss of your wings is permanent,” Odarum’s voice was gentle as he reiterated again that nothing could be done to get my wings back.
I had already accepted they were gone forever, having made multiple attempts to try to shift while I was hiding from Daegel. I just held onto the hope something could have been done to restore them.
I blew out a breath, deciding to leave that topic alone and move on to my other questions.
“How did you survive? And why didn’t you come for me when I was in Vansera? Ryker said Spirits couldn’t go there, but Theron did.”
“I wanted to. But it took a long time for my soul to heal from the dark magic used against me. I was able to make a sacrifice to fate, giving up my immortality in order to continue living alongside you so I may continue to do my duty and guard you. By the time I healed, I was mortal, and I could not Travel to you. Then your mate came to Hylithria.
“As far as Vansera, it is a realm created by Odes before his fall. It, along with several other realms, is blocked from Spirits. He wanted a world where he was the only higher power. Those people are not connected to the land as you are since they—and their world—have no Spirits. Theron was able to go to Vansera because the bond between a Fylgjur and their Worthy surpasses any restrictions a God places on their world. When Ryker’s life was in true danger, Theron was able to go to him, and therefore, you.”
We came around the bend of the mountain, having reached the open area where Voara was visible before us.
We stood there and gazed at the restored city. It was where I thought Odarum had been killed by Daegel. Yet he stood next to me now.
“Thank you, Odarum.” I swallowed past the tightness in my throat. “Thank you for coming back.”
He turned his head to look at me, his dark eyes boring into mine. “I am grateful you have returned as well.”
As dusk quickly approached, I went back inside as Odarum flew away, promising to return in the morning. I was tired from the flood of emotions of the day, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I was back with Ryker. Odarum was alive. And in the morning, I’d finally return to my homeland.
Ryker ensured an excessively large meal was prepared and waiting for me when I returned to the room.
I ate everything, then took the nutritional elixir and drank so much water I thought I would burst.
“Did you get enough to eat?” Ryker asked, but it sounded more like he was encouraging me to eat more rather than asking my opinion.
“I did. If I take another bite, I might vomit,” I huffed a laugh.
He made a disgruntled sound but nodded. “Alright. Well now, I want to show you something.”
My shoulders slumped. “I don’t think I can handle much more today.”
He chuckled, “It’s nothing like that. I promise. Come on.”
He stood from the small table and offered his hand. I took it, lacing my fingers with his, and he led me to the bathing room. Over in the corner of the room, it looked as if some kind of work had been done recently, and there was a strange hole at the top of the wall near the ceiling in the shape of a narrow rectangle.
“What is that?” I asked as I squinted my eyes at the holes.
“It’s a bath—but one you don’t have to be submerged in. I wanted you to be able to bathe without any fear of the water. And I know how much you enjoy waterfalls.” He winked at me, and my stomach fluttered.
He turned a knob and water began flowing from the rectangular hole, rushing down and gently splashing against the floor before draining through the small holes in the stone below.
My jaw fell. It looked just like a smaller version of a waterfall. No intimidating depths for my irrationality to imagine creatures or the need to submerge that would make me think of the assassin who nearly drowned me.
“Ryker,” I breathed in astonishment. “When did you do this?”
“When the palace was being rebuilt. I wanted to do it after I realized you were okay with the waterfall in the cave.” He shrugged as if this wasn’t a big deal.
Gods, I couldn’t deal with any more emotion today, but it didn’t stop the warmth spreading through my chest.
“Thank you.”
I was so ready to feel clean again. I took a step forward and removed my clothes.
With my back to him, I heard Ryker suck in a breath as my last article of clothing fell to the floor. I pulled my shoulder blades together, swallowing back the insecurities about the scars on my back. I hadn’t even seen them. I didn’t think I could stomach it.
I glanced over my shoulder, expecting Ryker to be staring at them only to find his eyes intently staring into mine. All the worries of the world melted away when I looked into those silver irises.
I turned around and reached for his hand, pulling him closer to me while holding his gaze. “Will you bathe with me?”
He didn’t speak, only removed his clothes in answer, and followed me underneath the warm, falling water.
My stomach flipped with nerves as we stood bare together once again.
His arm grazed against me as he reached around, grabbing the soap and a cloth before he began to gently stroke my body clean. He was delicate with the scars on my back, lingering there only long enough to clean the area before moving on.
We didn’t utter a single word, allowing the comfortable silence between us to fill the space as we alternated cleansing each other’s bodies. The intimacy of washing one another soothed more than just the scars on my skin.
And bless this wonderful male for getting soaps and shampoos that smelled of lavender and eucalyptus that he lathered me with, scrubbing away any remnants of that nightmarish realm and washing it down the drain forever.
I kept my mind from it. I had been prisoner there long enough, I refused to let it continue to hold me there in any capacity. Instead, I occupied my thoughts with what was to come. Spending time with Odarum, going back to Atara for the first time, being with Ryker.
His fingers moved to my hair, massaging the suds into the strands.
“Lean your head back,” he coaxed in a whisper.
I tilted my head, allowing him to guide my hair under the stream. I closed my eyes, relishing in the feel of hands kneading across my scalp. The closeness of our bodies felt so fundamentally right. I didn’t want this moment to end.
My heart fluttered when I felt his lips press against my collarbone. I leaned up slightly and opened my eyes.
The look of pure adoration on his face had my lips pulling up. I wanted to kiss him. The love between us flooding down the bond made me wish to be with him, to once again fuse our bodies as one.
I lifted to my toes, aching to feel his body against mine, but stopped when he turned off the water and took a step back.
“I’ll leave you to get dressed,” he said with a soft smile before handing me a towel, wrapping one around his waist and striding out of the room.
A pang of hurt struck my chest. Maybe he didn’t want that. Maybe it was the scars, or the fact I was touched by another that tarnished his desire.
I shook the thoughts away, choosing instead to relish in the moment we had just shared.
I dressed and went back into the bedchamber. Ryker was sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for me, and he looked up at the sound of my approaching footsteps.
A wide grin spread across his lips. “You’re smiling.”
“I’m happy.” I hadn’t even realized I was smiling.
He stood and walked over to me. I raised my head to gaze into those silver eyes that called to my soul. He trailed a finger down my jaw to my chin, gripping it gently.
“So am I.” He pressed his lips against mine in a soft kiss.
I had missed this so much. I pressed against his mouth a little harder, and his hand came to my waist, snaking his arm around me and pulling me closer. I parted my lips, and my body tingled all the way down to my curling toes when his tongue met mine.
How I missed the taste of him.
It didn’t matter that we only just dressed. There was nothing holding me back. I missed him desperately, and all I wanted was to feel him inside me—for us to join our bodies again.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, tangling my fingers through his hair and gently tugging on the strands.
He tilted my head up higher, giving him better access to my mouth and deepening the kiss with a low, pleased growl. His hands moved to my shirt and began to unbutton it.
Each brush of his fingertips against my skin felt like a blazing flame I wanted to burn in. I pulled at his bottom lip with my teeth as my patience started to wear thin.
With the last button finally undone, the fabric fell open, baring my breasts to the chill of the air. I lowered my arms and shrugged the shirt off the rest of the way, letting it fall to the floor before reaching for Ryker’s and pulling it over his head.
My peaked nipples brushed against his abdomen—every touch sending a jolt through my body and straight to my core—as I slammed my mouth against his. I felt insatiable with a different kind of hunger as my fingers fumbled with the fastening of his pants. It only took a moment before I was tugging at the hem, and his beautiful cock blessedly sprung free.
My mouth watered at the sight. Instantly, my arousal pooled between my legs, and I rubbed my thighs together.
It nearly took my breath away, not having realized how much I craved it, how much I’d missed it. I wrapped my hand around his length, relishing the feel of it in my palm again, and Ryker rumbled a groan.
He pulled himself away from me, making me whine with displeasure. He bent down to pull my pants and panties down all at once, never allowing his gaze to leave mine.
I yelped when he lifted me by my ass, his hands molding to my cheeks, and my legs naturally wrapped around him.
He smiled against my lips as he carried me to the bed and placed me down gently on my back, resting between my legs.
He didn’t wait, and thank the Gods because I didn’t want him to. His cock pressed against my core and pushed in just past the tip.
“Little gem,” he groaned, and his head fell to my shoulder. He kissed up the column of my neck, leaving a trail of heat, and whispered against my skin, “Don’t ever try to leave again. Because I won’t let you. You belong to me.”
He pushed all the way in, and I let out a long, breathy moan, unable to contain it with the glorious feeling of him inside of me again. The bond purred as we were once again joined.
“Never,” I breathed. “Never again.”
He pulled out slowly and pushed back in, and he somehow felt deeper. “Promise me.”
He thrust again, harder this time.
“I… I promise,” I struggled to get the words out when he lifted my leg over his shoulder and thrust himself even deeper.
“Fuck,” he grunted. “You feel so good.”
“Then don’t stop.”
His pupils dilated as he watched my face, and he thrust in slowly, over and over, savoring it. Each thrust sent tingles of pleasure down my spine. It was slow and torturous in all the right ways that had me squirming beneath him.
His eyes traveled down to where our bodies were joined.
I raised up to my elbows so I could see. I wanted to watch as his cock slowly slid in and out of me, coated and glistening with my arousal. My eyes glazed with lust, with pleasure, as the sight drove me closer to the brink. But when I looked back up to Ryker, I found him staring at my face, watching the sensual expression across my features.
My lower belly tensed as my release built. I wanted to chase it, and at the same time, I never wanted this feeling to stop. I wanted to stay like this forever, keeping us both sealed in this room, this moment never ending in a world of our own.
“Don’t stop. Don’t stop,” I begged.
He didn’t stop, but he kept his movements slow and sensual, drawing this out as long as possible.
I could feel his pleasure heightening, flowing through the bond and mixing with mine, and knew he wasn’t going to be able to drag this out much longer.
I smiled as he bent down and bit my lower lip, sucking it into his mouth.
He twisted his hips slightly, making his cock hit at just the right angle, and that was all it took to send me over the edge with blinding pleasure.
I screamed his name as spots of black clouded my vision. The waves of ecstasy crashed down the bond.
Ryker roared as his release tore through him. He thrust and poured himself into me, each pulse of his eruption only adding to the intensity of my climax .
It was the only pleasure I’d had after months of nothing but constant pain. The contrast made my climax hammer through my veins, debilitating me to a state of intoxication.
When I could finally see clearly again, Ryker was staring into my eyes with undying admiration, as if I was his most treasured possession. And I was his. He would have me beyond the end of time. But he was also mine.
“I love you,” I whispered down the bond, running my fingers up his neck until I held his face in my hands.
“And I love you, little gem.” He nuzzled against the crook of my neck. “Beyond the bond, beyond anything fate could put between us, I will never stop loving you.”