Chapter 40
Robyn
I rinse my dinner plate under hot water and put it on the rack to dry. The leftovers go into a glass container, the lid snapped on tight, and I push it to the back of the middle shelf in the fridge.
I knew I was being silly when I cooked for Ridge as well.
Apart from that one time he ate that pizza in my bed, he has never eaten at my place. We don’t do anything that resembles a date.
I wipe the counter down twice. I straighten the dish towel on the oven handle.
I’m pathetic.
I turn off the kitchen light and go through to the living room. My phone sits face-down on the coffee table, exactly where I left it twenty minutes ago. I have not checked it. I am absolutely not going to check it. I would have heard if it rang or beeped with an incoming message. It hasn’t.
I grab the remote and drop onto the sofa, pulling a throw blanket over my legs. I flick through to one of those reality cooking shows I usually love. A woman is yelling at a man about under-seasoned scallops. He looks like he might cry.
My eyes slide to my phone.
No.
I’m not calling him. I refuse.
I change the channel to a nature documentary. A voice that sounds very British is talking about beetles. I change it again. A reality show about people buying houses they can’t afford. Then a movie I’m sure I watched before but start watching anyway. Pretending to watch is a more apt description.
Is he coming?
Should I call him?
No!
I watch for another five minutes and then change the channel back to the cooking show, when there’s a knock at the door.
Yes!
It’s him. I know it.
I sit up so fast the throw blanket falls in a heap. My head turns toward the entrance. My pulse does a small, stupid leap.
I smooth the front of my T-shirt down over the waistband of my sleep shorts. The shirt is new and smaller than normal. It hugs my chest in a way I know he’ll like. I suddenly feel a little stupid, but I don’t care. I run my fingers through my hair.
Then I drag in a slow breath to center myself.
Play it cool, Robyn.
I am going to open that door and act like I wasn’t sitting here pining like an idiot. We’ll have really good sex first. Then I’ll spill my guts about my feelings.
That is the plan.
He will probably run a mile when I tell him. But I’m doing it anyway.
I draw in one more breath and walk to the door.
I undo the chain. I turn the deadbolt. I open the door.
He’s in dark jeans and a charcoal T-shirt that pulls across his chest, his hair loose around his shoulders. His eyes find mine.
Before he can say a word, I throw my arms around his neck and pull him inside. I reach up onto the balls of my feet, and I kiss him.
His mouth is warm. He tastes good. He tastes like more. His hands come up to my waist, and for a beat or two, he kisses me back. His lips move over mine. His chest is solid under my palms.
Then he goes rigid.
He pulls back. “Robyn.” His voice is rough. “Stop. Please.”
I drop back onto my heels. My hands fall from his neck.
“What…?”
“I need to speak with you.” He looks past me into the apartment, then back at my face.
He steps in, turns, and closes the door behind him.
“Actually, I want to talk to you too,” I say. “I was going to do it later, but if you want to do it now—”
Maybe it’s the same talk I want to have with him. Maybe…
No! I’m not going to get my hopes up.
I look up at him, noting that his jaw is hard. There is something in his eyes. Whatever it is, I don’t like it.
I frown. “Ridge. What is it?”
He doesn’t answer. He takes my hand in his, his fingers warm and a little too tight, and he leads me through to the living room, and we sit.
“You’re scaring me a little.” I try for a small laugh, but it doesn’t come out right. “Is everything okay? You’re acting weird.”
“I’m so damned sorry,” he says.
I blink up at him. “Sorry for what? You keep apologizing to me. What is going on?”
He doesn’t answer for a long stretch. A man on the television is now sobbing about his ravioli. I turn it off.
“I’m listening,” I tell him. “Just say it. It can’t be that bad.”
“In a couple of minutes,” Ridge finally says, “guards are going to walk through that door. They’re going to arrest you.”
Okay, then.
I was wrong. Clearly, it can be that bad.
I frown.
“What are you talking about? Why would I be arrested? I haven’t…”
And then the pieces start to click into place.
“You’ve been investigating me,” I say. “Haven’t you?”
Slowly, his face bleak, he nods.
“Did you find something?” I frown.
“I found a burner phone.” His voice has gone flat, all the warmth I’ve ever heard in it stripped out. “As well as classified documentation in a pouch. The texts on the burner have been made to look like you’ve been messaging the Mainland with sensitive information.”
“I would never do that.” It comes out fast, my voice hard. “Never!”
“I know.”
I stare at him.
“I know you didn’t do it.” He drags a hand back through his hair. “I know you’ve been framed. The same way Magma was framed. I’ve gotten to know you. My gut is telling me you would never do something like this. I believe you, Robyn.”
My eyes are burning. I refuse to blink because if I blink, the tears will come, and I am not crying in front of him.
“Then why didn’t you tell me?”
He stares down at me. I watch his throat work as he swallows.
And there it is. That look. The look I caught on his face last night. The one I didn’t recognize at the time. I couldn’t place it then, but I can now.
It’s guilt.
He feels guilty. And he should.
“I wanted to talk to you tonight,” I tell him. “I know that we have an arrangement, but I wanted to tell you that I’m falling for you.”
“Robyn…please…”
“No! Hear me out. My ex broke me. He broke my trust, and I swore I would never put myself in this position again, and to think I was getting ready to take a chance on you. I was going to tell you about my feelings tonight.”
“Robyn, I— Fuck. I don’t know what to say to that.” He scrubs his jaw. “This was never meant to happen. Not any of it.”
“Which part?” My voice sounds like someone else’s. “Us sleeping together? Me falling for you? Or you finding evidence against me, which, I’m assuming, is what you’ve come to tell me. Not that I’m guilty, just to be clear.”
“All of it,” he says quietly. “All of it was never meant to happen.”
I look down at my hands. They are doing this strange twisting thing in my lap, fingers braided together. I make them stop.
“I’m so sorry, Robyn,” he rasps. “I had no choice. I was given a job to do. I was told to upgrade the security at the hospital and at your apartment. I was also told to investigate you for treason against the island. I was given a direct order. I did what I was told. I had no choice in the matter. I couldn’t say a word. ”
“And sleeping with me?” I lift my head. “Was that part of doing your job?”
He looks like I’ve slapped him.
“Robyn—”
“I was intimate with you, Ridge.” I keep my voice steady because if I let it go, I’m going to start shouting and I’m going to start crying, and I won’t be able to stop either one.
“I shared things about myself with you. Things I don’t tell just anyone.
I let you into my home. I let you into my bed.
You were right when you said you should have stepped away from this assignment. You said it yourself. You should have.”
“I know.”
“What you did was wrong.”
“I know that too.” His voice is rough and deep. “I know. I feel fucking terrible. I was clear with you from the start, though. I told you it was purely physical. I told you there was no relationship at the end of it. I didn’t lie to you about any of that.”
“You still lied about everything else.” My eyes are stinging again. “Everything that mattered. You lied about why you were in my life. You lied about what you were doing in my office, my home, my car. Inside me! All this time you’ve been building a case against me.”
“It wasn’t like that.”
“Of course it was. You once told me not to lie to you. Well, I’m going to tell you the same thing right back. Don’t lie! You were gathering evidence against me.”
He doesn’t answer that. He can’t.
“I feel betrayed,” I say. “I know you were doing your job. And just like with Magma, you were gagged, and you weren’t able to say a word to me about it. I get that. None of it makes what you did any less wrong. None of it makes this any easier. I trusted you.”
“I’m close on clearing Magma.” His voice is low and urgent now.
“I’m on the verge of proving he didn’t do what they said he did.
I have proof, Robyn. Solid proof that he was framed.
I’m going to do exactly the same thing for you.
Whatever organization did this to Magma is the same one that did this to you.
I will tear it apart. You are about to be arrested, and you are going to be thrown in jail, but I will get you out.
I will. I promise you that. I will make it right. ”
“I—” I start to say, but there is a heavy thump of boots in the corridor outside my apartment.
The door is thrown open because Ridge didn’t lock it. He knew they were coming. That this was going to happen. I feel like I’m bleeding inside. I almost feel more betrayed than when Bruce did what he did. With Bruce, I saw it coming. I never saw this coming. Not in a million years.
Four males in dark uniforms come into my living room. They are all huge. All shifters, by the look of them. The one in front has a kind face. He looks at me with something that might be sympathy.
We stand.
“I’m sorry,” Ridge whispers.
“Dr. Keller,” the shifter at the front says; his voice is professional.
“I’m sorry, Doctor.” He pulls a set of cuffs from his belt.
“I’m placing you under arrest on suspicion of treason against Draig Island.
Please put your hands in front of you.” He reads me my rights while he cuffs me.
They close around my wrists with two neat clicks.
The metal pinches a little just below the heel of my hand.
“I will do everything I can to prove your innocence,” Ridge tells me, his eyes blazing. “I will make this right. I swear it, Robyn. I’ll fix this.”
“Some things can’t be fixed.” I’m shocked at how strong I sound. “I’m sorry, Ridge, but you will never be able to make this right.”
Something moves behind his eyes. Pain, regret, and a good dose of guilt.
Then the guard with the kind face puts a hand on my arm, gentle but firm, and turns me toward the door.
I let him.
The others follow.
The tears want to come, but I won’t let them. Not yet. Not here. Not while he can still see me. I blink hard, and I keep walking.