Chapter 21
Serafina
Dipping the tip of my quill into some ink, I continue transferring my notes into the journal Theo gifted me. It truly is a beautiful notebook—exquisite, really—with its soft exterior and firm pages.
I add in notes about what Jax had told me yesterday before he stormed off like a temperamental child.
I dig my nails into my palm, still feeling beyond pissed at both him and me. Him for being an overdramatic lunatic, and me for staring into his eyes a bit too long. For enjoying the feeling of him on top of me a bit too much. For…fuck. No.
I’m not doing this.
I need to focus. What did he say to me when we were walking to the training room?
Being an Essentari transforms the body. In addition to getting stronger, we can also heal quicker, which would explain why it didn’t take long for me to recover after Norin and the others attacked me all those weeks ago.
Or how my muscles seem to regenerate rapidly after I’ve finished attempting to wield the flames.
How all of the bruises I earned last night during our sparring match have already healed, already disappeared completely.
My brain reels from all the information about what I can do and what I’ll be able to do someday.
“And what have you learned of the Etherbond?” Nyxa’s voice brushes against my thoughts, calm and soothing, like a ripple of warmth reaching every corner of my mind before fading away.
“Not much. Other than what beasts each type of Essentari is able to bond with. What do you know of it?” I ask, even though it doesn’t matter. Neither of us will ever be able to form the bond.
“Only things I’d been told long ago. Difficult to separate fact from fiction.”
“I’m listening.”
“Those who choose to bond will tie their lives together. If one dies, so does the other. If one lives, so does the other. To break the bond is to end both lives, but to have the bond is to possess limitless power.” Her words flow over me as if she’s reading a poem, both beautiful and dangerous.
“And what do they mean by limitless power?”
“That, I do not know.”
And neither of us ever will.
“How close are you?” I ask, knowing her journey is a long one.
“A few more weeks, I’d say. If I don’t catch you at the palace before you leave for your third trial, I’ll continue on to your village. This world of ours is quite a bit larger than I realized before setting out on my way to you.”
“Don’t you have family who are missing you?” I ask, worried that she’s making this trip alone.
She’s quiet. For a long while, she’s quiet.
“Nyxa?” I reach out, feeling for her mind and hoping my thoughts are somehow reaching her.
“My family died long ago. It is only me now.”
Her words wash over me, and my heart wrenches for her.
“I’m so sorry, Nyxa.”
But she doesn’t respond. The quiet deepens, and I realize her walls must be up. I reach for her presence, but it’s gone.
She’s gone.
Now that I know she can slip into my mind at any time, I can sense when she’s there. Like a warm light that lingers. But that light has been snuffed out, and poor Nyxa is all alone.
I close the journal, no longer in the mood to transfer my notes. My thoughts keep drifting back to Nyxa and the weight of her loss. I know loss. I felt it when I lost each of my sisters, but at least I still have my parents. And Nyxa…she has no one.
I rub my temples, wondering how they died. In the trials? Dehydration? Famine?
“Serafina!” The high-pitched, excited voice of Ishla draws my attention to the door. I force a smile, trying to push away the aching in my heart, and open it. “I brought treats!”
She bounces into the room, followed by a slightly brooding Jax. His jaw is tight, and the vein in his neck pulses.
He can’t be serious.
He’s still mad?
But then I look at him, really look at him.
No.
This isn’t about what happened between us last night. This is something else.
I raise a brow, but he doesn’t look at me.
Sighing, I turn to Ishla. “Treats?”
“So many treats,” she gushes, setting a tray on the desk.
“And when I passed by the prince, I insisted he tag along because, let’s be honest, there’s nothing quite like watching you devour something sweet.
” She grins, her tone light and teasing, and I can’t help but feel a swell of affection for her.
“And after this morning's news, I figured we’d all need a little pick-me-up.” Her expression shifts, the light in her eyes fading, and my smile falters.
“What happened this morning?” I ask, and she looks at Jax.
He gives her a slight nod, his jaw tensing even more.
“Village 50 is gone,” she says, clutching the fabric of her apron to her chest.
I blink. Then blink again. “What do you mean…gone?” I take a step toward her, failing to understand.
“The volcano. The one that’s always sat dormant, news just reached the palace…” Her gaze grows distant, and dread fills every crevice in my heart. “It erupted. The entire village…every person…they’re just—”
She wipes the tear from her eye, and I do the same, my chest feeling unbearably heavy.
I knew the earthquakes had been getting worse. My mother once said she’d never felt a single one until the night I was born. But since then…our village has suffered from tremors nearly every year.
But a volcano erupting? One that has existed in a dormant state since the planet's inception?
I can’t help but wonder how much longer Eleclestial has. Even with the forced limitations on our population…the world is still dying.
It has been for over one hundred years.
The silence lingers, feeling thick and suffocating. I look at Jax, but still he says nothing. His brows are creased, and I wonder if his mind is even in the room with us. He seems lost in a different world, a different thought.
My attention shifts back to Ishla just as she shakes her head and forces a smile.
“But enough talk about sad things. I came here to feel a bit of happiness, and I was hoping chocolate pecan muffins would do the trick.” She yanks the lid off the tray, as if the scent of baked goods alone could erase the weight of the tragedy.
I muster a smile to match her own before reaching for the most chocolate-laden muffin in the center of the tray.
But Jax is faster than me, and he plucks the muffin I’d been reaching for and slowly brings it to his lips.
My jaw drops.
“Hey!” I shout, grabbing his wrist to keep the muffin from reaching its destination.
He grins, a drastic change from his earlier expression, but then Ishla gasps.
“Serafina!” she exclaims, her voice both alarmed and horrified.
I glance at her, puzzled by her reaction, and find her staring at my hand where it grips Jax’s wrist. Her expression isn’t just startled, it’s downright incredulous. She doesn’t even blink, her eyes fixed on us like she’s witnessing something truly scandalous.
Her gaze doesn’t lift, and I let go immediately as realization crashes over me.
Shit.
Are they together?
The thought had crossed my mind the first day I came here, but I haven’t much considered it since.
Guilt churns in my stomach. Guilt, and anger, and resentment, and so many other things I don’t care to analyze.
“Ishla, I…” I don’t know what to say, but this is awkward, so very awkward.
“I’m gonna go,” Ryjax says, eyeing us both like he has no idea what’s going on. He closes the door behind him, taking my muffin with him.
Bastard.
I turn back to Ishla. “Ishla, I didn’t know. If you two were…are…a thing, he never told me, but, I promise, nothing has ev—”
A laugh bursts from her lips, loud and explosive, shaking her entire frame. She laughs so hard she doubles over. Tears pool in her eyes as I stand there, stunned and frozen.
It takes a moment for her to regain her composure, wiping at her dampened cheeks as she straightens.
“Oh goodness, I needed that.” She continues to pat her cheeks dry with her apron.
“Serafina, you misunderstand,” she says, shaking her head with disbelief still etched across her face.
“I am not in love with Ryjax.” Her tone is gentler now.
“My partner would be quite displeased if that were the case. She’s quite the jealous little thing.
” She chuckles to herself. But now I’m even more confused by her reaction.
“I was just…surprised to see you touch him.”
“I don’t under—”
“Serafina,” she says, her voice now hushed. I move closer to her. “No one touches the prince. Ever. He doesn’t like it.”
I blink, her words sinking in slowly. “He doesn’t like…being touched?”
She nods, watching me carefully as I replay in mind all of the times I’ve touched him over the last few weeks.
The brush of my fingers against his wrist when he first brought me to this room.
The way I clung to his shoulders when he held me in the garden.
The quiet, unspoken comfort of his thumb in my hand as we fell asleep.
And just last night, his hands were on my waist, teaching me how to stand when holding a sword.
But there was also that moment when I watched that blond woman run her finger across his naked chest, but then he…grabbed her.
He stopped her.
When he’s never stopped me.
“But…why?” Heat floods my cheeks as I meet her gaze.
She gives me that look. The one she’s given me several times now.
“I’d have to ask him,” I say, rolling my eyes, and she nods, a knowing smile tugging at her lips.