10. Declan
Ihad an appearance on an afternoon talk show today, and it was one of the last things I wanted to do.
All in a day’s work, though. This had been the career I’d chosen, even if I’d initially gone to college hoping to become the very type of doctor that I played on television right now.
It was ironic that every type of future I’d ever imagined for myself, I’d gotten to play at one time or another.
The truth was that acting was the only honest thing in my life.
My personal life was a complete sham, and it was far more complicated than it ever should’ve been.
I loved Brogan, and he loved me. It should’ve been easy enough for the two of us to come out.
A lot of my peers had done something similar, but my dedicated team had strictly forbidden it, especially when the man in my life happened to be engaged to a woman.
That had also been fake the entire time.
Even though it might’ve made me feel better to give the proverbial middle finger to the press and my own team, he had far more life-altering complications from the truth being revealed, and that had been before Layla had ever disappeared.
He stood to lose everything he’d worked his ass off to keep, and all because his father was a homophobic bigot.
I respected my man, and I loved him enough to wait for him to be ready with our coming out.
Sometimes, it just made it hard, because I knew that this very talk show host would end up asking me about my love life.
All the world seemed to care about was the superficial shit in life, but I still let them pull my strings like the puppet I often felt like.
When I arrived at the studio, Paige was there to meet Jenni and me. The woman had been my publicist for my entire career. Hell, if it wasn’t broken, why try to fix it? And while we’d butted heads a number of times over the years, I also respected her.
“You’re late,” she said to me.
I wasn’t late for the show, but I knew she liked to talk things over with me before I made any sort of appearances. I was about to speak, but Jenni beat me to it. “We encountered traffic on the way here from Staten Island.”
“Staten Island? I thought you only visited there when on a vacation,” she said.
“I needed to get out of the city to clear my head. I’ll probably head back there after this taping is done.” Before she could ask why, I asked, “What did you want to go over?”
“I wish you would’ve stayed in the city, but it is what it is. Did it have anything to do with your friend? The one whose fiancée is missing that you were seen with at the baseball game?”
“His name is Brogan, and he’s going through a lot right now. I’m trying to be a friend to him. Let’s forget about him and talk about what I should and shouldn’t say today.”
“I’d definitely steer clear of all talk of him.
He’s going to tarnish your image, you know.
” I narrowed my eyes. I’d burn my entire fucking career to the ground for that man if I needed to and without being asked.
“I’d focus on your current show. Maybe mention something about your missing co-star to let everyone know you’re upset about her absence, and… ”
As her voice trailed on, I hated that I had to speak about Layla at all.
It was like stabbing Brogan in the back, and each time I said anything nice about the bitch, that blade would twist in my chest. I understood Paige’s ask, though.
Reluctantly, I would do it if for no reason other than that her appearance safe and sound would alleviate a lot from my man’s shoulders.
“And you haven’t been seen out and about with another woman. If the topic goes to your social life, just be nonchalant about it, but do remember to find a date for something soon. We don’t want others to think your lack of interest in women means anything.”
“That it doesn’t mean I’m bisexual? That I’m actually in a committed relationship with a man I’ve been with for an entire decade.”
“Definitely not. I don’t care about those sorts of things, but your star will only be bright for so long.
Every day, another up-and-coming actor is there to snatch roles from you.
As it is, you’re only currently filming this sitcom.
If you ever expect to land another blockbuster role, you need to play things safe. ”
I could’ve reminded her that it’d been my decision to do this role on a hospital drama instead of being gone for months on location filming movies.
Each time I was gone, I felt the loss of what was here in this city.
It’d been why I rarely ever even went back to L.A.
, much less to live and work. Everything I wanted in life was here, and he was my motivating factor.
I’d been so in demand for the last eight or so years that I was actually enjoying getting to slow down to enjoy life for once.
“Candi will ask about spoilers for next season. Also remember not to give away anything, but to leave it open for interpretation. Viewership was down the last half of this season, and we don’t want to give away the cliffhanger.”
“Sure, is that all?” I asked her, and when she nodded, I turned to Jenni. “Could you run those errands I’d told you about this morning, then return to get me in a few hours?”
She assured me she would and Paige left right after her.
I was about to pull out my cell phone to call Brogan, but one of the set hands let me know that I was needed inside.
After signing my contract and reviewing a few notes, a small fruit salad was the most I could muster after a real breakfast this morning.
Prepping for an interview kept me busy, and all I wanted to do was call my man and Edna to see how everything was going on both fronts.
Eventually, I walked out on the host’s cue, and she asked me about my current project, which I tried to sell without revealing much and even expressed my sorrow at the disappearance of my co-star.
Thankfully, our characters had very few scenes together, but I still appeared empathetic as I looked to the camera and made a plea for her to return to those who loved her.
It’d been like swallowing bile just trying to get that all out, but I did.
Talk soon turned to my personal life, and, as Paige indicated, I did mention my seeing someone, but I didn’t drop a name out of respect for our privacy.
I did say that she wasn’t in Hollywood herself, but that she was as brilliant as she was beautiful.
That much was true about Enslee. Brogan and I had trouble sleeping last night, so we listened to several of her podcasts and read quite a few blogposts of hers.
Jenni had also assisted in scrubbing her social media accounts for things a lover or at least close enough friend would know about her, such as her dislikes, likes, and all.
She’d also gotten the van, which was now hidden in my garage, and we’d brought in her clothing and a few personal effects from the back.
We had to pull this off, or else everything Brogan and I had worked for over the last decade would be for nothing.
Sometimes killers were convicted when nobody had ever been found.
The very thought of my man ending up in jail for something I knew he didn’t do was enough for me to do whatever it was that we needed to sell this to Enslee.
If it meant seducing her, I would do that as well.
She’s beautiful enough to make me hard, so I’d need to focus on that.
Only, I didn’t love her. Hell, I didn’t even know her, and the women I was often photographed with had at least been acquaintances.
They’d also been fine with some public displays of affection that led to nothing afterward.
Just being on my arm was enough to thrust them onto the front of magazines, but all the stories eventually led to heartbreak for them.
And it had been the same with Layla. Brogan did not fuck her as I did not fuck the revolving door of women my publicist paired me up with, either.
After the segment was filmed, I left the studio, and as promised, Jenni was there to pick me up. Paige made her presence felt via phone, and I assured her that I stuck to the script, which pleased her greatly. Finally, I was able to call the one person I wanted to talk to the most.
The phone rang several times, but Brogan never picked up. I tried twice more and got the same result. Something I couldn’t quite describe gave me a chill, but I pushed it down. Jenni flashed me a sympathetic look.
“I’m sure he’s just busy,” she offered up.
“Yeah, so did you find any lovers or husbands for Enslee?”
“I did not. It appeared she really did live a very nomadic lifestyle. A very solo one.”
“Someone as young and beautiful as her had no romantic interests?”
“No, and while this might be TMI to you, I did encounter a few… ahh… toys in her van. I didn’t bring them in with her things, but they are under her bed in the back.
I also got a chance to look at the slew of journals she had, and they all appear to be case-related, so I don’t think she was the diary-keeping type. ”
“Thanks for looking up all of that for me.”
“You know that this is very outside the scope of my job,” she teased before nudging me with her arm.
“I know, and you’ll be compensated well for it.”
“It’s not actually money I am looking for, but rather…”
When her voice trailed off, I turned and arched a brow at her. “What do you want?”
“An introduction to someone.”
“As in?”
She then went on and on about how enamored she was with one of my coworkers. When she’d gotten over her fangirl spiel, I exhaled. “You know he’s big into the multiple partner scene. I’ve never heard about him with just one woman,” I warned.
“I don’t care about that. I’m not in love with the manwhore. I just want to ride his face,” she said before flashing me a smile. “And this might be a newsflash to someone as old as you, but a lot of women nowadays have fantasies of being taken by more than one partner.”