23. Brogan
SOMEWHERE IN THE UK
As I woke up in a room shivering, I looked around trying to figure out where I was, but I didn’t recognize the stone walls and floor or the thin mattress I was on, one barely long enough to cover my height.
Other than me, the only other thing atop it was a solitary pillow.
In one corner, there sat a chair, but it wasn't a normal kind.
This one had cuffs for the wrists and ankles and a belt that could be wrapped around someone's waist.
What the fuck am I doing here?
I couldn't quite recall how I’d even gotten here because my mind was completely foggy. Still, I closed my eyes, trying to remember what could’ve landed me in a place like this. Then it hit me. My father mentioned a Sinclair Pharmaceutical business trip he’d wanted me to accompany him on.
“Next year, you’ll be off to college, then you’ll return to work your way up the ranks,” he’d said to me.
I’d thought nothing of it because one day I would be running the same company that’d been passed down to him and would one day be mine as well.
Sinclair Pharmaceuticals was one of the top-ranked pharmaceutical companies in the world.
My father made a lot of money, most of which he never ceased to throw up in my face.
He was quick to remind me that all the luxuries I’d grown up with had been because of him.
Everything I’d been afforded in life had come by his hands.
As I looked around at this bare room, I couldn't understand how I went from being on a private plane with my father to this godforsaken place. I closed my eyes again, trying my hardest to see if I could remember anything at all. It was all a blank.
Have I been kidnapped?
I suppose that wasn't the most asinine or far-fetched conclusion.
My father was very wealthy, and children of rich parents were often put at risk.
I knew my father would pay the ransom, but I couldn't remember actually being kidnapped. Deciding to go back even farther, hoping to put a timeline together, my thoughts returned to a time even before I’d even left town.
A sigh escaped as I remembered the feel of warm lips moving against mine, at first shocking me, but not because I hadn't been kissed before. I had, and in fact, I’d done much more.
The difference was that these were his lips, and I’d never kissed a boy.
I'd never been kissed by a boy, either. That’d been when a weird feeling filled me.
It hadn’t been in a bad way, but rather weird in a good way.
Declan and I had known each other our entire lives.
Our families mingled in the same circles, and both families had primary and vacation homes in the same areas.
Our mothers would go on shopping and spa trips together while our fathers went to golf courses, strip clubs, and anything in between.
Declan and I had always been best friends, doing together everything young kids would do.
We played the same sports and shared a lot of similar interests.
Very outdoorsy, we loved anything involving nature.
We were both athletically gifted, me in American football and him in soccer.
We also played basketball, baseball, rugby, and more.
If there was something to be played, we did it together.
Never had I imagined that our closeness and camaraderie would’ve ever led to him pressing his lips to mine.
I still couldn't even remember exactly how it’d happened, only that it had.
The moment his lips touched mine and moved softly against them, everything in the world ceased to exist. It’d been a single moment, but it’d been just him and just me.
Right after, his tongue probed at my lips to part them, and as soon as they opened beneath his, he thrust it into my mouth, setting off a million detonations within my body.
I’d grabbed his arms to pull him closer, needing to feel every inch of his skin against mine as I drew his tongue into my mouth.
It was the most perfect kiss, then it was over.
I didn't remember how I went back to even breathing afterward, but I could remember later sneaking away to kiss as often as we could.
I am in love with my best friend.
And that’d gotten me closer to leaving with my father.
The very thing to make him demand that I accompany him had been a few nights earlier when Declan and I had been in my room playing video games.
And it happened again. This time when we started to kiss, I fell back onto the bed, and Declan crawled up my body.
I’d no sooner flipped him underneath me and deepened the kiss when my bedroom door opened, and everything became a blur.
My father had kicked Declan out of the house, then he’d ranted and berated me for what seemed like forever.
I’d been terrified that night, afraid that my father was going to disown me.
But, in the morning, he’d mentioned a business trip.
I’d known it was to get me away from Declan, and I’d wanted to talk to him to explain, but explain what, I didn't know. Maybe I’d just wanted to apologize to him.
My father had said some terrible things to the both of us, and I hadn’t wanted Declan to hate me.
I hadn’t wanted him to stop being my friend, and I definitely hadn’t wanted him to stop kissing me.
Reopening my eyes, I glanced around the space. It was so cold and sterile, but not even in a hospital type of way, although I spied an IV pole in the corner with nothing connected to it.
What the fuck?
I raked a hand through my hair when I felt something on my head. Grimacing, I ripped it away before bringing it to my face. It was a sticky pad with a protruding metal piece on it. I felt around the top of my head, removing several others from it, including the ones found on my neck too.
That was when I looked down and realized that not only was I shirtless, I was completely fucking naked.
EKG leads were scattered across my chest, and a few were placed down my arms and even my legs.
I ripped each and every one of them off, not even caring that it pulled small hairs with it.
After, I threw them to the side, then stood up.
Where the hell am I?
What are they trying to do to me?
What have they already done to me?
I wobbled on my feet as I was hit with a wave of nausea.
I had no time to think about my own dizziness because I needed to find a way out of this place.
I walked from one corner to the other, trying to find a door, but there was nothing but hard brick.
Whenever I touched the walls, they would start to close in around me.
The brick was like a sponge soaking all the oxygen out of the air until I started to choke.
No, actually, I started to hyperventilate.
It was almost as if I was in a brick coffin. But if so, why was there a bed? A chair? An IV pole?
“Father,” I screamed, then resorted to calling for anybody. “Hello! Is anyone out there?”
PRESENT DAY
I should’ve shut my mouth and just died that day.
The influx of memories that came rushing back included me being subdued as something was injected into my arm and pills forced down my throat.
I could still feel them scratching my airway as they slid down my esophagus, barely able to chase them down with a mouthful or two of water.
I still remembered the cuffs clamping down around my wrists, stomach, and ankles as I was bound to that chair.
A projector screen came down in front of one of the brick walls, showing images of gay porn while I’d been forced to sit there completely fucking drugged.
Electrical shocks were delivered to my skin and I tried not to react at all.
It’d been doable until one of the men moaning did so in the same tone that Declan had, causing my cock to swell painfully hard.
The moans didn’t belong to him, but I’d convinced myself that they had. A therapist later called it a period of dissociation.
“I’ll end not only the rich, entitled life you live right now, but your entire fucking existence.
I’ll remove you from this fucking earth before I allow you to disgrace me, son,” my father had said as he beat me with his belt.
“You’ve disgraced me, and generations of those that came before us.
You’re supposed to be a fucking Sinclair. ”
I was still a Sinclair, so I didn't understand what kissing a boy had to do with any of that. Stanley Sinclair continued to torture me for weeks until he’d finally broken me down.
My body had become nothing more than a vessel, but I’d held onto my spirit until it too had been turned to ash.
I’d promised to keep my distance from Declan, but my father didn’t believe me.
He'd said that I hadn’t said it with enough vehemence, so the treatments got worse.
I’d spent day and night in that cold dungeon, usually restrained or drugged.
At least until the night I’d been strapped to a table with leads placed onto my head.
The anesthesia being delivered had either not been enough or had not fully kicked in because I felt those electrical currents course through my brain.
The agonizing pain made me scream in that moment, but nothing came out.
I’d eventually started to convulse, leading to a full-blown seizure.
The last thing I remember was my father threatening the medical professionals before warning me away from Declan again as he finally took me home.
And it’d worked because we never revisited the kissing or spoke of it.
Declan started to work his way through the dance team as I did the same with the cheerleaders.
We’d both denied our true desires until a time came when we were unable to any longer.