28. Enslee
Iwoke up happier than I’d been in quite some time.
Last night, I’d shared a moment with Brogan.
He'd been beside himself, and although he never did tell me why, I felt like offering myself to him actually calmed him, even though he was rough with me.
I loved the feel of his fingers digging into my flesh, the hard pounding he put on me, and most of all, I loved the brutal way he seemed to give no fucks about how he was fucking me.
He was an animal until afterward when he’d cradled me against him and kissed me so reverently.
God, I was falling in love with him as well.
I mean, I probably was already in love with both men, but since I’d awakened with no memory of that love, doubt had crept in.
Now, I’d seen parts of them individually that’d all but confirmed why I was with them.
In the beginning of this empty phase, I’d seen nothing but pictures to prove any of this was real.
All I could do was base my current feelings off what was going on now.
So, I did, and I loved both of them. I supposed it was like that before I’d lost my memories, although I wasn't sure exactly how it’d started.
Neither man had ever really talked about how we’d met. Those were questions for another day.
And when this new one dawned, I wasn’t even upset to find Brogan already gone.
He worked in the city, so I understood there was traffic and other things to consider.
Declan was still out of town on location.
It made things a bit lonelier here, but I knew Brogan would be back tonight because he’d said as much as he kissed my forehead earlier when he thought I was still asleep.
Smiling at the memory, I took my time in the shower, especially remembering how he’d taken me so roughly inside it. My back would have bruises, but I’d proudly wear them for him. When done, I got dressed, then went out to find Edna and Jenni both in the kitchen.
“Hi, Enslee,” Jenni said as soon as she saw me enter the space.
She was always so sweet and excited to see me. Her smile was genuine, and although I couldn't remember anything about my time with her either, I liked to think we were friends. After all, she seemed friendly enough with me.
“I didn’t think I’d see you here. Is Declan back?”
“No, he’s still on location, so I figured I’d stop by to see how you’re doing.”
“You didn’t have to come all the way from the city to see me,” I said to her, although I wasn’t mad that she had.
“Edna also needed my help with something, so I guess my chauffeur duties will continue even with the bossman gone.”
“What would you like for breakfast this morning, dear?” Edna asked, and I turned my attention from the younger woman to the older one.
“Fruit salad and orange juice will be fine.”
I didn't feel like anything heavy, especially since I felt so light and bright for the first time in a really long time. As she prepared it, I moved into the living room and noticed a laptop sitting there on the cushion of one of the chairs. At first, I didn't think much of it. I’d just sat down and placed my feet out in front of me when Edna brought in a tray with the fruit and juice I’d requested.
My gaze kept returning to the laptop. Jenni and Edna were talking to one another in the kitchen as I began to eat my breakfast. I’d barely ingested more than a few blueberries, strawberries, and pieces of a banana when something unfamiliar filled me.
The longer I stared at the laptop, the more I could remember myself on one.
And not some random laptop like this one, but a different one in particular. Neither Brogan nor Declan had ever told me what I did for a living prior to the fall, but did it involve computers?
I had to have done more than just sit around the house and wait for the men to come home. Until recently, I didn't help Edna with household chores, and I didn't go with Declan or Brogan to work, so what did I actually do?
The urge to fire up a laptop continued to fill me. It was a need clawing at my skin. When Jenni reappeared in the room, I looked over at her as she picked up her laptop and stuffed it into a leather bag.
“Do I have a laptop?”
“Umm, I'm not sure.”
“What did I do for work before I fell?”
Again, she looked puzzled and even a bit flustered as she fussed over the strap. It looked like evasion, but I could think of no reason why she’d lie to me. Finally, she plastered on a fake smile that raised my hackles. “I don't recall Declan or Brogan ever saying.”
“Do you know, Edna?” I asked the older woman when she entered the room, much to the relief of the younger one.
“No, dear. You were just always here.”
It didn’t sound right, but I didn’t want to keep up questioning them. Dr. Pierce had told me I needed to let the memories come on their own. While my sitting here as a couch potato seemed farfetched, I had no reason to think either woman would need to lie to me.
“Do you need another book? I could bring you one,” Jenni said to me, and I shook my head.
“No, I’m actually still reading the last one you brought me.”
I was only halfway done with it because I’d only been reading it at night. The last few, however, had me living out my own romantic fantasy with two different men on two different nights.
And they were also so different from one another but together fit so perfectly. They fit me so perfectly too. In fact, I was a different person when around each one individually than what I was when I was with them together. That was to be expected, as their demeanors were opposite of each other.
Take Declan for example. While he possessed a quiet confidence about him, he was far more carefree than his counterpart.
He didn’t appear as weighed down by the world and allowed things to roll off his shoulders.
Naturally well-spoken, funny, and charming, it was no surprise he’d taken up acting.
But there was a bit of darkness hidden just beneath the skin.
I had no idea what the cause of it was, but I knew it was just below the surface.
Brogan, however, wore the badge of a tortured soul so well.
He did tell me more last night about how his own father had tortured him, so it could explain why.
His intensity and darkness couldn’t be contained if he’d tried.
Despite his darkness, he was also brutally raw, enigmatic, and could command an entire room with a single dark glance.
And both men are incredibly sexy… incredibly endearing… incredibly dominant.
Brogan would be home tonight, but I was already missing Declan. The three of us had so few nights together. “Do you know how much longer Declan will be gone?”
“About three to five days depending on how quickly they can wrap the takes up. Do you miss him?”
I let out a soft laugh. “Is it that obvious?”
“Girl, I get it. You’d be surprised at how many women throw themselves at him on a daily basis, not knowing he…” She stopped, then cleared her throat. “That he has you and Brogan at home.”
I doubted that had been what she’d almost let slip. I inwardly berated myself for being so suspicious today. It was as if I was interrogating or trying to read her for signs, but of what I didn’t know. It must’ve been my lack of sleep causing me to be so goddamn bitchy.
“Are you ready, Jenni?” Edna asked her before looking over at me. “I have to deal with a car issue in the city this afternoon. I’ve made a salad and panini for you. Is there anything else you need before I leave for the day?”
I shook my head. “No, and thank you. Both of you. I’ll see you later.”
“See you later, Enslee,” the younger one said.
Before they could escape out the garage door, Edna stopped. “If you do need anything at all, please don’t hesitate to call me.”
“Okay, will do,” I said to her, then watched as they exited the house.
I leaned back on the couch as the older woman’s words repeated in my head.
How did she expect me to call her? I didn't have a cell phone, and even if I did, I doubted I could remember her phone number. Upon realizing that, I got up and ran to the door, but they’d just escaped out the garage, and I stood there numbly until the jarring clang of the door caught my attention as it fully lowered to the ground.
I’d never been in the garage, so I glanced at the various cars parked inside of it. The expensive sportscars and luxury SUVs were not what made me clutch my chest. In the corner, there was a van that seemed as out of place amongst the other vehicles as I did when with my men.
It was parked in the corner as if some afterthought.
I felt a pull toward it, and like a magnet to metal, I walked straight to the van and started to circle the vehicle.
When I got to the very back and looked at the license plate, I gasped and jumped back, almost as if something was there to harm me.
Alabama was spelled across it, and I knew this was mine.
Why had no one told me about it?
I moved to the front and tried all four doors, which were locked, before having better luck on the door in the very back.
It opened like a pair of French doors, and I saw a small bed surrounded by shelves with what were my personal effects.
A sense of familiarity wrapped around me like a thick, well-used blanket, and a sob escaped.
For weeks, I’d been searching for any connection to my old self, and within a minute or two here, the belonging I’d hoped to feel was in this vehicle.
Climbing inside, I picked up a few items before placing them back where I’d found them.
As I tried to move around the cramped space, something hit my toe.
Looking down, I saw a laptop sticking out from under the mattress.
Quickly grabbing it, I moved to the bed and sat down in the center of it.
I ran my hands over the black snakeskin, paying extra attention to the stickers plastered all over it.
Some were older than others, and two words kept appearing on the majority of them.
Killer Thoughtz!