53. Brogan #2
“I see the same thing I see when I look out the front windshield of my van as I'm traveling the country. I see lakes, oceans, mountains, farms, desert. I see places and things, yet nothing that truly matters. Neither your location nor vocation in life matters. You could be the poorest person on Earth, yet have a true, amazing, beautiful love and feel like the rich—”
“Or, you could be the richest guy on Earth and have nobody to share it with?”
“Exactly, Brogan. It doesn't have to be this way. If you’d only take the first step.”
“Which would be?”
“Forgive him, and not even for him, but for yourself. You and I both know he never did any of this to hurt you. You've forgiven Layla, haven't you?” I said nothing, so she continued, “And you didn't even like her.”
“She’d only been able to do what she’d done because of Declan. Everything comes back to him, Enslee.”
“Have you forgiven your father?”
“He's not my father,” I quickly spat out as I spun around. “I want nothing more to do with him, and I want nothing more to do with Declan.”
She threw her hands up in surrender. “Why are you so stubborn? There's got to be a name for it.”
“Why don't you ask my therapist?”
“I don't want analysis based on the scripted version of your thoughts. I want you, Brogan. I want the unfiltered, unedited parts of you that you try to keep from everyone else.”
“Again, that makes you a fucking fool,” I responded, but unlike earlier, I barely had time to fake a smile at her before I felt a sharp sting as her hand collided with my cheek.
It surprised me that she’d slapped me, so I’d been unable to disguise my expression. When my eyes met hers, Enslee’s instantly widened, and she took two steps back.
“I'm not going to hurt you,” I said before reaching out and yanking her toward me.
I brought one hand up to her throat and held her head up, forcing her to stare into my eyes.
Those quivering lips and teary eyes did something to me.
Because of Layla, Stanley, and Declan, I wanted to let my rage out on somebody. I couldn't do it to Enslee, though.
“Are you going to hurt me?”
I realized in that moment that my hand had tightened even more around her throat. I loosened it a little bit but still held my grip. “Only if you beg me nicely to.”
She gasped, then opened her mouth to say something, but I chose that moment to slam my mouth over hers.
Instantly, I thrust my tongue between those parted lips.
She gripped my arms so tightly I could feel her nails digging into my muscles.
Ignoring the bite of pain, I spun around, then backed her into the window as I continued to kiss her.
Eventually, I coaxed her to return it, and the moment she moaned, I knew I was a goner.
I groaned against her mouth. My lips continued to move hungrily over hers as my other hand dropped lower to grab one of her breasts and squeeze it until she arched toward me as if she was offering herself up to me.
I’d thought about sex a few times when at Rikers Island, but I hadn't allowed myself to consider it actually being a reality again because the only two people I’d ever wanted to hold in my arms and thrust deep inside had both been lost to me.
I wasn’t na?ve enough to think her submission right now meant she’d stay because everyone left, but until she did, I’d take full advantage of the fact that she wanted to make me angry. She wanted me to give her the unedited, unfiltered version as she’d put it. Now, she’d get it.
My hand moved from her breast down her hip before I grabbed her leg and hiked it up against mine.
When I did, my dick hardened. I was going to fuck her so goddamn hard, and I wanted to do it right here.
I could’ve taken her to the bed or even to the couch, but I didn’t.
I wanted her to provide something in this view for me to aim toward once again.
As I ripped my mouth away from hers and I looked behind her at the city, I stepped back. “Take your fucking clothes off, or you're going to lose them.”
Her eyes widened, and as I went to remove my clothing, she quickly did the same to her own.
A minute later, we were both fully naked, and as I saw her standing there in all her beauty, a thought struck me.
She was far too beautiful to break, but when my eyes met hers, there was something I’d never seen inside of them before.
It was a hollowness that matched mine. Enslee was broken, and it had nothing to do with me.
It had nothing to do with Declan, either.
“What are you thinking, Brogan? And don't even say it's about me.”
I continued to grin. “On the contrary, I'm thinking about the ways I'm going to finish breaking whatever's broken inside of you.” She closed her mouth, and I moved in closer until my cock was trapped between her flesh and mine.
“Touch it, Enslee.” She brought shaky hands to my shaft, and the moment her warmth wrapped around them, I held back my groan.
“I'm going to crawl so fucking deep inside of you.”
“Yes,” she moaned aloud.
“Get on your goddamn knees.” I stepped back and watched her fall immediately to them. “You look perfectly at home on your knees between my legs. So are you a good girl or a good little slut?”
“Both, but only for you, and—”
I knew what was coming next, so I thrust my cock into her mouth to cut off the other man's name from slipping from it.
She obviously cared deeply about Declan, but he wouldn't be here with us right now.
I wouldn't allow it. She might run to him when she left here, if she was able to run.
With all the pent-up frustration I had to let out, she'd be lucky if she could crawl afterward, but she’d eventually go back to him.
And why shouldn’t she?
He’d cherish and devote himself to her, like he’d once done to me.
He’d claim to love her, then betray her once given the chance.
Maybe I wanted to protect her from Declan, or maybe I was jealous knowing he’d never hurt her like he’d hurt me.
I needed to erase all thoughts of him from both of our minds while she was in my arms, so I ran my hand through her hair, fisted a handful, then wrapped it tight around my wrist before holding it back just enough to fuck her mouth from the angle I needed to.
I pulled out momentarily to issue a warning. “I'd suggest you catch your breath now because you might not be able to do so for a while.” She sucked in a few gulps before I thrust my cock back into her mouth.