67. Brogan
Declan and I stood there stunned, and the tightening in my lover’s jaw matched mine.
We’d assumed her past had been bad, but I’d never imagined it was what she had said.
I’d suspected sexual abuse, judging by the few omissions she’d let out from time to time.
I’d never wanted to be more wrong about anything in my entire life.
And all the other stuff… It was a lot to digest.
We'd gathered that she’d been close to her grandmother because that was the one voice she’d remembered during the time she’d had amnesia.
It now also made perfect sense as to why her home address in Alabama was literally an empty lot.
A house had once been there until she’d burned it to the ground to get rid of the memories that still plagued her.
I wanted nothing more than to pull her into my arms, but she began to back away from us.
Declan took a step forward, and I put my hand on his arm to hold him back while looking straight ahead at Enslee.
Our gazes met, and unsure if it was something that she saw on our faces or not, she quickly cleared her throat.
“I need to go to the bathroom.”
Without pause, she fled into the house. “It's down the hall and the third door on the right,” Declan yelled out to her, but I wasn’t even sure if she’d heard him or not. He finally turned to me. “Well, that was a lot damn more than I’d anticipated.”
“Completely unexpected, and the worst part is that I want to make someone pay.”
“Unfortunately, the two people who’d hurt her the most are already gone.”
“What are we going to do now?”
Declan shrugged. “What can we do? Should we continue with our plan?”
“I don't see why the hell not,” I said to him.
“There’s no need. I’ve lived through enough of your plans, and I’d just prefer to leave this time,” we heard her say from the doorway.
“We don’t want you to leave, darlin’. And it’s not a plan like… ahh… before. We care about you so—”
“I'm not who you thought I was, so the person you care about doesn’t actually exist.” She hurried over to her chair and grabbed her shoes off the concrete. “I just want to get out of here.”
“What you said earlier, it—”
“It’s always been best left in the past, and if you don’t mind, I’d like to put it back there and keep it buried.”
“Please don’t go,” I said to her. “We don’t want you to leave.”
She looked up at me with an incredulous expression.
“I can’t see why in the hell either of you would want me to stay.
I’d once thought my existence on this godforsaken earth was a miracle, but I’m constantly reminded that it’s a curse and nothing more.
If I stay, I’ll become an albatross around your necks, and you two have suffered enough because of me. ”
“Because of you?” Declan asked in disbelief. “We only have the life we have now because of you. We owe you everything. There’s no way we could ever thank—”
She let out a sarcastic laugh. “I should thank the two of you for chasing me that first night. If I hadn’t fallen and gotten…
” She stopped and shook her head a few times before continuing.
“I'd once thought losing my memories had been the worst thing that could’ve ever happened to me, but I realized now that it’d been the best thing for those few weeks.
For once, I’d been able to forget who I was and what I’d come from, and I was able to just be somebody, even if she turned out to be a lie.
The fictional scheme you two cooked up was better than the lie I’ve lived all my life. ”
“You are somebody,” Declan said to her.
I moved in close until I was standing behind her.
As she attempted to pull away, I wrapped one arm around her and tugged her against me.
“You think your past is shameful and that you're weak, but I think you have to be the strongest woman I've ever known. The deck had been stacked against you even before birth, but you'd always survived. It’s because that’s what you are—a survivor. I’d never realized with Layla, just like I’d never realized with you, but the two of you have a lot in common. ”
“I doubt it,” she spat out.
Declan took his place on the other side of her, and we now had her sandwiched between us. He slipped his hand under her chin to tip her face upward, so she was now forced to look at him. I let him take the lead as he was better with this sort of thing than I was.
“You are. As a child, Layla had also been taken advantage of by an older father figure that she’d trusted. Neither one of you can be blamed for what happened. You'd both made the best of terrible situations and done what you’d needed to do. Brogan and I admire your strength through such adversity.”
“Why do I feel so ashamed then?” she whispered.
The pain in her voice threatened to be my undoing.
It reminded me of the night Declan woke up in the hospital.
That’d been the first time I’d been on the reverse end.
Usually, I was the one to fall apart and Declan or Enslee would pick me up and put me back together.
This time, I had the chance to be here for her as she’d always been for me.
I kissed the top of her head before speaking. “There’s nothing to be ashamed about. Have you ever spoken about this to anybody? Maybe a therapist.”
“No,” she answered meekly.
“As ones that have,” I said as I looked at Declan. The two of us had seen professionals in our lifetime, and we both knew she needed to one day do so too. “Did it feel any better to let it out, even if it had just been to us?”
She let out a few deep breaths. “I don't know. All I do know is that I don't want your pity. I want you to look at me with…”
She stopped in that moment, so Declan asked. “Look at you with what, Enslee?”
“I want you to look at me with desire.”
I ran a hand through her hair, wrapped it around my fist, then pulled her head back gently so it wouldn’t hurt her. I normally liked to give and receive pain, but I didn’t want to make things worse for her. I held her head still, needing her to see my face and to hear my words.
“You’ve always been desirable to me. Why do you think it was so easy to touch you when we didn’t even know you?
So many nights I’ve stroked my cock imagining your mouth wrapped around the tip…
your pussy clamping down on it… and more recently, I’ve remembered how tight you’d been when it was buried balls deep in your ass.
Trust me when I say that my desire for you also has nothing to do with pity.
When hearing your voice and seeing your face, I’d never not want to fuck you. ”
Declan moved his hand to the side of her face and softly caressed it.
“After what you’ve told us, Enslee, my feelings for you have only grown stronger.
What you've overcome in your life would’ve destroyed another.
Although you've carried this pain with you all this time, you never gave it power over you. You’ve helped Brogan and I mend everything between us when your own heart was in pieces.
The three of us being here together tonight would’ve never been possible without you.
And, I’m not just speaking about your technical skills and your connections, but your friendship and capacity to love. ”
“If anyone should feel inadequate here, it should be me,” I admitted aloud.
“You can join me,” she said in a resigned tone. “I know you’re both just telling me this to try to make me feel better. It’s really not nec—”
The arm holding her in place tightened as I pulled even further against me. “Do you feel how fucking hard you make me? Does it feel like I’m just trying to placate you?”
“Brogan,” she moaned.
“And feel me too,” Declan said as he grabbed one of her hands and brought it to his erection. “We want you so fucking much, but we’ll understand if you don’t want to tonight.”
“I need so badly to forget these memories now that they’ve resurfaced. I feel like I’m barely treading water and I’m afraid they’ll suffocate me completely. Help me!”
Declan and I exchanged looks, and we both knew what we had to do.
I didn’t answer her verbally but instead leaned in and nipped on one of her earlobes as Declan did the same to the other.
Her body trembled slightly as we took things further.
The two of us began to kiss down her jawline to her chin, before both ascending down on her now parted lips.
I couldn’t actually kiss her with Declan’s tongue and mouth there, but I did bite down on her lips and around her mouth for several seconds before I began to kiss down her neck.
As I did so, I lowered first one strap, then the other before lowering the top of her dress to her waist. Her beautiful breasts were now bared to us.
“We’ll free you from the memories if only you let us,” I murmured against her flesh.
“Please.” The plea slipped from her mouth in between moans.
“Your wish is our command, darlin’.”
With Declan’s words, I took one of her breasts in my hands and squeezed it while our lover wrapped his mouth around her other one.
I knew the moment he bit down on her nipple because she let out the softest hiss.
It was so goddam sexy. I’d never imagined a time when I’d ever wanted a third in my relationship with Declan.
Yet, here we were. We loved Enslee, and she loved us in return, having even done so before she knew who we truly were.
Even upon learning the truth, those emotions remained.
I returned to what I’d started earlier and began to bite, lick, and kiss my way up her throat while Declan attacked her breast. As I held her in place, Declan slipped his other hand between her legs.
“I-I'm going to come soon,” she stammered, and I grinned against her warm skin.
“And you will once you’re in our bed.”
I released my hold on her to allow Declan to sweep her up into his arms and carry her inside. On my way in, I grabbed everything we’d left outside and brought it into the kitchen before joining them.
Enslee was now naked with the inside of her thighs sticky from her arousal.
She was lying there with her legs spread open in offering to us.
We both removed our clothes, and once naked, I looked at my lover whose blue eyes were now navy in color and groaned.
I grabbed his face in my hands, then slammed my mouth down on his.
I needed to taste him even knowing it wouldn’t linger long on my tongue.
Enslee was watching us with rapt fascination until we stepped away from each other and turned our complete focus to her.
We moved in closer, and Declan took one side of her body while I took the other.
Starting at her ankles, we kissed our way up her calves, over her knees to her thighs, then lapped at the stickiness I’d noticed earlier.
I waited to see what Declan planned to do, and when he pulled back, I took that as my cue.
Burying my face between her thighs, she cried out the moment I sucked her clit into my mouth.
A shadow crossed over me, and my gaze darted upward when I saw Declan just above her head stroking his cock in his hand.
My mouth would never not water at the sight of him, but I trusted Enslee would take care of Declan while I took care of her.
Perfectly content to continue what I’d started, I kissed my way back to her pussy, then thrust my tongue into her wet heat.
Her moan was quickly stifled when he filled her mouth with his cock.
“Suck me, Enslee,” he rasped, and damn if my cock didn’t harden more at his words.
I pulled my head back enough to thrust three fingers into Enslee, causing her to arch her lower body upward toward me.
“And get ready to come on my face,” I said to her, grinning at her muffled whimper moments before clamping down on her clit with my teeth.