37. Chapter 35 Arden
Chapter thirty-seven
Chapter 35: Arden
A fter leaving Belridge, my dragon takes over, refusing to give me control again. Her only priority is returning to our mates. She allows for periodic breaks to eat, drink, and sleep. It's enough to hold me over until finally, on the third day, we see the castle in the distance.
My heart soars and aches at the same time. Excitement and relief grow within me, but so does the despair and anxiety of seeing Zorvan again. Camus can feel my nervousness and strokes my scales in an attempt to calm me.
We're less than a mile from the castle when something inside of me tugs. Pain and fear that don't belong to me or my dragon rise inside of me like a tsunami. One of my mates is in trouble, but I can't tell who. I never felt their emotions at this intensity in my human form. We make a sharp right, veering off course toward a small mountain, then dive toward the ground.
A mass of writhing scales and horns and tusks is on the ground near a cave entrance as two beasts battle. One of those beasts is Emyth. My dragon roars in anger and swoops down from the sky. The bipedal lizard beast runs from the basilisk—now laying still on the ground—and attempts to get to the cave. But it's too late. My dragon releases a torrent of blue flames, burning the creature to dust.
Emyth's body shifts from the giant beautiful basilisk to his now frail-looking fae form. Camus slides to the ground, and takes stock of Emyth's wounds. My dragon growls at him touching my wounded mate, but I hush her.
"You want me to help him?" Camus asks over his shoulder.
My dragon grunts and nudges him forward. Camus bites into his wrist and presses his wrist to Emyth's lips. He concentrates for a moment, and sighs.
"He's too wounded for me to really heal him. We need to get him back. We need to get him to a proper healer."
As Camus mounts me once more, I urge my dragon to scoop up Emyth and bring him back to the castle, and relief fills me when she listens. Gingerly lifting our bleeding mate in our claws, we fly back toward Feldorn.
His body feels so small in the dragon's claws, and I worry that he may slip from our grasp. He's naked, and bloody, making his skin slick, but we manage to hang on. We soar over the gates, the guards shouting and readying their magic to attack.
The rest of my mates exit the castle. We land on our hind legs, and lay Emyth on the steps to the front doors.
"Hold fire!" Zorvan shouts to the guards. He steps forward hesitantly. "Hey, beautiful," he says, stepping toward us.
My dragon appreciates the compliment. Jarrah and Lysander reach for Emyth and my dragon lets out a menacing growl. Shift back . I plead, but her concern for Emyth won't let me take control.
"Can I please talk to Arden?" Zorvan says, moving closer and reaching a hand out. "I think she can help us save Emyth."
Camus, Solina, and Llewellyn leap off of my back, and my dragon gingerly places Emyth on the ground.
Shift! I demand of my dragon. The pain of bones repositioning and shrinking sears through my body as I return to my human form. I stand naked before my mates—and half the castle.
I kneel on the ground next to Emyth and brush his hair backwards. He looks terrible. I'm not sure he'll make it. My reaper. My gentle shadow. Guards approach once they realize that it's me.
“Go get Airen!” I command, and three of them head for the castle doors.
Lysander joins me next to Emyth on the ground. “How did this happen?”
“A large lizard…thing in the forest. I killed it, but only after it had gored Emyth. Camus was able to give him some blood but it wasn't enough…”
Lysander scoops Emyth up into his arms and carries him inside. Livarius, Jarrah, and Tavin head for me, but I hold my hand up to stop them.
Zorvan heads for Camus, drawing a blade. “Your family is not welcome in my castle without strict invitation. Give me one reason why I shouldn't kill you right now!”
“Because I will kill you if you touch him,” I say, stepping between them.
His eyes drift down to the bite marks on my throat and he clenches his jaw. He stares me down, a threat in his gaze. Then something unexpected happens. His gaze softens, he resheaths his blade, and approaches me.
My head held high, I refuse to break eye contact as he stands over me. He grabs my face in his hands and kisses me, his lips hungrily moving against mine. My heart beats wildly at the contact—as if the bond was never broken. It gives me hope that I can save it, save us . I allow it for a second, then I push him away.
Zorvan wraps a cape around me. "Let's get you dressed, and then we can go see what we can do to help."
Having some space from him, my hope is replaced with resentment. I shrug away from his touch. I thought I would feel relief at seeing them all again, but the only things I feel are fear for Emyth, and a burning rage.
"Give me the key to my room," I demand, holding my hand out. "There will be no more locking me up, no more escorts, and no more rules."
"Arden—"
“You sent me away. You dragged me from my home, brought me here, verbally abused me, tormented me, lied to me, and then you sent me away.”
“I know. And I'm sorry. It's my fault that you were taken, and I will never forgive myself.”
“That's not good enough. ‘Sorry’ is not enough for the hell that you've put me through.”
“Arden, I–”
“I'm speaking.” One of the others sucks in a sharp breath behind me, but Zorvan doesn’t say anything, so I continue, “I came back here to retrieve my mates. The ones who didn't reject the bond. Then I am going to Kildara to be with my great grandfather. You, Prince Zorvan, can wither here alone. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go get some clothes. That is, if you didn't burn them all the second I left.”
I step away from him and walk toward the castle. Camus pauses in front of him and mutters something to him before patting him on the chest and catching up to me. The rest of the guys follow, too.
“What did you say to him?” I ask Camus.
“Just that he fucked up,” he says, but I don't believe him.
Half the residents of the castle are standing in the front hall watching the exchange. I glance over my shoulder. Zorvan's fingers twitch, his nostrils flare, and his jaw clenches. His dragon wants to make me submit. He takes a calming breath.
Livarius and Tavin move toward me and I hold up a hand. "No one touches me unless I say so. I need a minute to myself."
Hurt flashes across their features, but they don't push it. Tavin's hand finds the small of Livarius' back, and my brain registers the joy and pleasure I've been feeling down the bond for the last several weeks. My eyes sting with tears, but I blink them away.
"Find a place for my new friends to stay," I say and gesture toward the girls. "They'll be here long term, and they need asylum from Solardin. They haven't done anything wrong, except to run away, but I don't trust that they'd be safe to return."
I storm away from them, refusing to look back. The crowd of gawking fae part for me as I walk through the front hall, and up the main step. There are fae lurking in every corner of the foyer after coming to see what the fuss was about. They cast sideways glances, but no one says a word. Faylin is staring, mouth open as I walk past. Whispers about my sudden reappearance filter through my jumbled thoughts.
In the distance, a roar. Zorvan's dragon took control, and is mourning in the distance. It's so far away, but there's a distant shadow of his anguish trailing through the torn bond.
Good .
Let him stress about it. Let him experience an ounce of the heartbreak he put me through.
Walking with purpose, I make my way up the steps, and back the hall. I open the door to my room, and shut it once Camus is inside. The scents of my mates assault my nose. They've all been in here recently. By the smell, they've been sleeping in here. The tears that I've kept at bay for the last several weeks break like a dam, and I drop to the floor and let out a sob.
Camus doesn't say a word. He sits on the floor next to me and places a gentle hand on my back. He lets me cry, and when the tears slow, he grabs my chin and forces me to look at him.
"Are you done feeling sorry for yourself, pretty girl?"
"I wasn't feeling sorry for myself," I protest.
"Sure you weren't. Either way, if you're done crying, you should get dressed so we can go see the blonde one."
There's a soft knock at the door. Camus answers it without asking if it’s okay. While he lets Tavin, Livarius, and Jarrah in, I glance around my room. It's a mess. It looks like it hasn't been cleaned since I left Feldorn. My suitcases are all at the foot of my unmade. I grab the one containing my clothing and place it on the settee.
Camus returns to my side and slides his hand around my waist. The presence of my other mates is oppressive, but I don't look at them. I face my clothes, cape wrapped tight around me.
“Which one should I wear?” I ask Camus.
He pulls out a royal blue dress that comes down just below the knee before murmuring into my hair, “It’s okay to not be okay, but don't show them any weakness.”
I drop the cape, and pull the dress over my head. There are soft growls coming from my shifter mates as I kiss Camus.
I face the guys and put my hands on my hips, making eye contact with each of them. I don't miss the way Tavin places his hand on the small of Livarius’ back, or the way Livarius glares at his brother, or the possessive posture of Jarrah.
“Artie,” Livarius starts and steps toward me.
I step back.
“Say something. Please,” Tavin begs. “What happened while you were gone?”
“I'm not ready to go into the details. And I need to have a long conversation with you all and Zorvan about what Solardin is doing. But that will come later. What I need from you–all of you–right now is an apology.”
“For what?” Livarius asks with a furrowed brow. “And don't you owe us one? Or at least an explanation for what the fuck he's doing here?”
“You didn't come to get me. I had to save myself from that awful place. And Camus is here because he helped me." I pause, sucking in a deep breath and trying to quash the guilt. You don't owe them an explanation. "And because he's my mate.”
“You took another mate without consulting any of us first?”
“Actually, I took her as mine. She didn't have any choice once I realized she was fated to me. But she would have come around eventually. My precious little shifter,” Camus says and rubs the tip of his nose against mine.
I give him a soft smile. His possessive touches and loving glances are everything I need right now. They’re the only things keeping me together.
Livarius looks murderous. I've never seen him so angry. Then it fades to hurt.
“My brother?” His voice is half a whisper.
“I cannot help the fact that the Stars bound me to both of you.”
“It wasn't the Stars that bound you and I together…it was an accident,” he says. “We would have eventually done it anyway, but it wasn't the Stars.”
“Do you really believe that?” I ask, and he frowns. “From the second we met we were drawn to one another. I don't think that was chance. I think it was fate.” I smile as the memory of our first encounter replays in my mind. The way my skin felt when I touched him, the smiles, the flirting. “You smelled like chamomile and honey from the moment I met you. I could smell you like I could smell the others. I just didn't understand what that meant at the time.
“But you know who did have a choice? You and Tavin. I was locked in a dungeon and you were fucking each other while I was gone?”
Tavin’s mouth parts, and he pulls his hand away from Livarius. “You didn't have a problem with Emyth and Lysander. I just thought…”
“I don't care that you're together. I care that you were here fucking while I was sleeping on a stone floor, being starved, and force fed magic suppressants.
“None of you came for me. You were all still here just going about your business. Livarius, you once told me that you would never stand by while anything happened to me but that's exactly what you did. Lysander told me he would go to the ends of the universe to get me back. He and Emyth will be getting the same lecture, soon.”
“We looked for you. We looked everywhere ,” Tavin says. “Zorvan nearly went insane. He killed four people and attempted to kill the tavern keeper while trying to find you. Emyth was sneaking out of the castle at all hours to kill things; taking on larger and larger challenges. It was the only way that his death magic stayed under control. Livarius wa–” he takes a shuddering breath. “Livarius was starving himself.”
“Jarrah was spending every single day pouring over maps and searching for any place you could be stashed away. I was tracking the area around the tavern, and Lysander was pulling out all the divination tricks he knew.
“We weren't just sitting around doing nothing. We were all sick about you being gone, and Liv and I found comfort in each other. Meanwhile you were off screwing his brother and mating yourself to yet another fucking vampire.” He's seething.
I'm not sure if it's my attitude or Camus that's pissing him off, but I'm over it. “You had ample opportunity to tell me the truth and mate with me before I got taken. And every single one of you chose to lie to me. Camus has never been a single thing but honest with me. If you all had shown me the same honesty, none of this would have happened.
“I don't blame you all for me getting taken. I recognize that it was my own fault. But I do blame you for not doing more beforehand and not doing more to get me back. And I'm not ready to forgive you, yet. Now if you'll excuse me, one of my mates is currently knocking on death's door, and as angry as I am, I need to see him.”
I push past the guys and make my way to the infirmary. Camus stays close no matter what. It’s like he can anticipate exactly what I need. And maybe he can. I’ve been sharing small doses of my blood with him frequently over the last few weeks. Maybe he can sense me better than the others.
Opening the door to the infirmary, I scan the room. There is a bed with the curtains drawn around it.
Airen calls out, “I’m busy. Unless you’re bleeding out, please come back later.”
I approach the bed and pull the curtain back. Airen has a knife in one hand and herbs in another. I can’t tell what she’s doing, but she’s concentrating.
“I said–” Airen glances up and sees that it’s me. “Oh my Stars, Arden. It’s so good to see you. I'll hug you later, but for now I need you to go stand on the other side and take Emyth’s hand along with Lysander. Having you both here will help him.”
I walk over to where Emyth lays unconscious. He looks terrible. I take his hand in mine, and Airen gives me a sad smile.
I whisper to Emyth, "I'm so fucking mad at you, but if you leave me, I will never forgive you." I swear I feel his fingers twitch, and a tear falls down my cheek.
Airen puts the knife down, and cleans her hands in a large porcelain wash basin. She grabs a large pair of tweezers from the tray next to her and uses them to remove a chunk of what I assume is lizard tusk. Then she pulls out a needle and thread and begins stitching him up. Once he’s stitched, she starts pressing her healing magic into him. Some of the color returns to his face–not that he ever had much to begin with.
"I know you've been through a lot, and this isn't how he would want it, but I might need you to force the mate bond," Airen says softly so the others can't hear.
"I don't want to do that," I say.
"It might be the only way to save him." She's pouring every bit of her magic that she can into the wound, and it's healing, but it's going slow. "You being here may be enough, but if something doesn't change in the next couple of minutes, it may be our only shot."
Nodding, I reach up and stroke his hair. "Emyth, please come back to me." I look back to Airen and whisper, "I don't want to force another bond in order to save another one of my mates. I want us to be able to choose it when we're ready. I want the time and space to heal and stop being angry before the bond happens."
"I understand. I'll do what I can."
One of my mates steps up behind me. I don't need to look to see that it's Lysander. He places a hand on my shoulder, and one on Emyth's thigh.
"Come on big guy," he mutters.
I glance at him to see tears streaking his face. I shove aside my anger and place my hand on top of his.
"I can't lose him," Lysander whispers.
"We won't," I promise.
"He was devastated that you were gone. He kept going out and picking fights with the beasts in the forest because he couldn't keep his reaper magic at bay."
"Are you blaming this on me?" I snap.
"NO! Of course not. I'm just explaining what happened. Stars, Arden, I would never blame you for this. A lot of fae are at fault, but you are blameless in all of this."
My shoulders relax a fraction and I say, "I'm sorry. It's been a long couple of months."
"Can I...hold you? I just need to know that you're here, and that you're real."
If I let him hold me, I might forgive him, and I'm not ready for that yet. But he's hurting, and I want that to stop. I face him and nod. He wraps his strong arms around me and presses me to him. The mate bond sings in my blood, and I relax into him, tears streaking down my cheeks.
"I didn't think we were ever going to see you again," he says and he kisses the top of my head. He takes a deep breath in.
"Why didn't you come and save me?" I ask with a sob.
"We couldn't find you. Nothing we tried worked. We had just found Nev, and were trying to figure out a way to get you out when you came back."
The others have found their way to the infirmary. They slowly wander over to us. I pull away from Lysander and face them. Jarrah approaches and holds out his arms. I roll my eyes and step into him, wrapping my arms around his broad waist.
"My Little Dove," he says with a sigh. "You smell like dragon fire."
He pushes back and takes a good long look at me like he's afraid that if he looks away I might disappear again. He squeezes me again, so hard that I can't breathe.
"Jarrah," I whisper. "I need air."
He releases me and steps aside.
Tavin takes his place. "You scared the crap out of us, kitten." He brushes my hair back over my shoulder, and his eyes land on my neck, on the mate mark on my neck, and his jaw tics, but he doesn't comment.
"Looks good on her, doesn't it?" Camus snarks, making Airen jump.
"Who the fuck are you?" she snaps at him.
"This is Camus," I answer for him. "My mate."
"We apparently have a lot to discuss," she says with a knowing smile.
She pulls her hands away from Emyth, and cleans up the mess beside her. She looks tired and pale after using so much of her magic to heal him. I stand and move around the bed and wrap my arms around her. She hugs me tight to her and sighs deeply.
“I knew you’d make it back, Arden. And you’ve changed. The air around you has shifted. You’re about to accomplish great things as long as these shitheads stay out of your way.”
“If they won’t stay out of my way willingly, I’ll make them,” I tease.
She pulls back to look at me, keeping her hands firmly on my shoulders. “I have no doubt that you could. Stay with Emyth as much as you can. He needs you right now. Take on the world tomorrow. But for tonight, if the guys will allow it, I’ll have him moved to your bed so he can be as close to you as possible.”
“Of course we’ll allow it,” Zorvan’s voice comes from the doorway, startling me.
He’s got his arms crossed over his chest, and he looks smaller than I remember. Maybe it’s just the way he’s holding himself. Or maybe he’s just not as scary as he used to be. Maybe, I'm braver than I was when I left.
I nod. “Thank you.”
“Can we please talk?” Zorvan asks.
“I don’t think you’ve ever actually asked me for anything before. You’ve just demanded or taken whatever you wanted. I guess you can teach an old lizard new tricks,” I say with a dry laugh. “I need to eat and get a bath, then yes. We can all sit down and talk.”
He nods. “Yeah. Go get cleaned up, and then we’ll all talk over dinner?” Zorvan asks. “I’ll get you a snack from the kitchens so you don't have to wait too long. Helena will be thrilled to know that you’re back.”
“Yeah, okay,” I say hesitantly. I don't trust this softer side of him.
I place my hand on Emyth's cheek and kiss him on the forehead. The buzz of his magic against mine tells me that he's okay. At least for now.