Chapter 5
It’s Friday night, and I’ve heard nothing from Derren all week. Unable to feel anything but dejected, I wallow in my room alone.
Becky has been taking the piss, and it’s grating on my last nerve.
I’m starting to feel foolish for thinking someone as hot as him would ever be interested in someone like me.
I scoff at the absurdity of it. He’s bad-boy-model hot, and I’m a total nerd.
He’s way out of my league. I shake my head, knowing I clearly have a type.
Too hot to date me. Although Derren is hot, he’s not Killian hot.
But then again, I don’t think anyone else ever will be.
Locked inside the whirling chaos that’s my brain, the reality of my situation taunts me: another out-of-reach hot guy who will never want me.
After hours of contemplation, I’ve decided to push childhood crushes aside.
I can’t carry on living life in what-ifs, even though it seems I’m making the same mistake with Derren.
I’ve been to the sandwich shop twice, but he hasn’t been on shift.
Watching and waiting all week with my phone beside me, wishing and wondering whether he’s gonna actually call me.
I’m embarrassed and deflated. Feeling frustrated, I jump in the shower, forgoing tea because I just can’t stomach anything right now.
I step out of the shower into the steam-filled bathroom, wrapping a towel tight around my hips, and I tuck it in on itself.
After swiping a hand down the mirror, staring at my blurred reflection, regret and self-loathing threaten to creep in.
Turning my face from side to side, I judge my skin, my bone structure, my features, every single blemish and imperfection that mars me, wondering if I look better without my glasses.
Should I get laser eye surgery with the money from my parents’ life insurance?
I hang my head, resting my knuckles on the counter.
Darkness takes over as I screw my eyes shut and blow out a sad sigh. I miss them so much.
I walk away, unable to look at myself any longer. My heart aches. With my head down, I step across the landing and into my room. Unable to ignore my phone, and clearly wanting to torture myself, I snatch it off the bed and stare at the screen. My mouth drops open when I see the message.
Derren: Pick you up in 30 mins
Oh shit.
After stabbing at the screen to unlock it, I see it was sent twenty minutes ago.
I rush into the bathroom, tossing some product into my hair and spraying some aftershave on.
Back in my room, I snatch at the clothes in my wardrobe, throwing them around as I try to find something cool, but I remember what Killian said.
I grab out my favourite pair of black jeans. I have a light grey shirt already ironed, and I pluck out my burgundy sweater. A car’s horn blares outside, and I freeze. Oh shit. I try to breathe. Then the horn goes again. I rush into my clothes, grab my phone and wallet, and I bolt down the stairs.
When I get to the bottom, Steven stands staring through the living room window, his game controller dangling loose in his fingertips. He stares at me as I sit on the bottom step and wrestle my Converse on, as the horn beeps obnoxiously again.
“Is that for you?” he snarls.
“Yeah, it’s my date,” I rasp out as I try to force my foot into my shoe.
“Loser”, he mutters as he turns back to the sofa, but the irony isn’t lost on me.
I bolt out of the door and jog down the path.
When I get to the car, I crack the door open and look in, just to make sure it’s Derren.
The interior light flickers on, and he turns his face, grinning, one hand resting against the steering wheel.
The sexy half-grin he tosses my way makes my legs wobbly, and my stomach flutters.
I smile back. Then I hear a ruckus from the back seat.
When I glance over, there are two other guys crammed into it.
I take a step back, but Derren leans over and throws the door open.
“Get in.” I want to shake my head. I want to go back into the house, but I don’t.
As I climb in and clip my seatbelt, Derren turns the volume up as the others jeer from the back, pulling on the back of my seat, and he squeals away from the curb.
He doesn’t even attempt to introduce me.
They’re all being loud. One of them reaches through the centre and passes me a can of beer.
“No, thank you,” I say, shaking my head, but they crack it open and thrust it at me again.
I take a small sip as I’m not really a drinker, but Derren winks at me and lifts the bottom of the can until I’m chugging it, before I manage to gasp as I pull away.
He grins and picks up his own can from between his legs, taking a massive gulp before placing it back and tapping mine.
“Come on, sexy, you’re playing catch-up.”
Another can is passed forward and thrust into my hand. My eyes widen as Derren chugs the last of his, opens the window and tosses the empty can out before taking another from the back.
Placating them, I bring the can to my lips, pretending to sip at the rim, only to be grabbed from behind.
The can is poured over me. I cough and choke, pushing it away, gasping before brushing off the alcohol that ends up on my sweater and pools in my lap.
Great, I look a state now and stink of cheap beer.
Out of my depth, I stare out of the window, wondering what the hell I’ve got myself into, trying not to let my mind race with all the things wrong with the night already.
We pull up at a bar. It’s a seedy-looking place on the outskirts of town, near the warehouse district.
It’s busier than I thought it would be. We climb out, and I stand there, really uncomfortable.
Nervously assessing the area, I don’t like it one bit.
I stare at the guys from the backseat; they both look like carbon copies of each other.
I suppose one is taller. One is shorter.
They walk off into the bar, but Derren steps around and cages me against the side of the car.
He’s the same height as me, so hot, with a few small tattoos on his face and neck: all the good stuff that makes my common sense waver.
His warm body presses against mine, making me flinch as the cold, wet fabric of my clothes sticks to my skin.
He leans in, his nose rubbing against my neck. “You smell so good.”
He presses his body into mine, his hard dick pressing against my leg, and I gasp as he slides his nose under my ear and breathes in.
“Damn,” he mutters, pulling back. He grabs my chin, smashes his lips to mine in a quick kiss, throws his arm around my shoulder and leads me in the direction his friends went. I’m completely gone. My resolve has clearly left the building.
We walk into the bar, and his friends already have a table full of drinks.
His arm stays tight around my shoulder, holding me against him.
He passes me a drink. When I take a sip, he pushes the bottom of the glass higher.
He bites his lip, and my eyes meet his, and oh, hell.
I chug the drink and smile at him. Leaning in, his body presses into mine as he kisses the drips off my lips.
It’s aggressive and possessive, and it weakens my knees and heats my cheeks.
He gives me a salacious grin, and my brain short-circuits.
He pulls me closer and kisses me before dragging me towards the bar.
“What are you drinking, sexy?” The way he looks at me has my toes curling.
He doesn’t wait for me to reply, just orders the drinks.
The barman places them on the counter. Derren taps his pockets.
“Oh shit, I’ve left my wallet in the car, babe, can you get these for now?
I’ll pay you back.” I smile, pulling my card from my wallet and tapping it to the machine.
As I pick up my drink, he crowds me, crushing his body to mine and kissing me breathless.
It’s so hot in here. He speaks, but I can’t make out what he says. I’m flustered and extremely turned on.
We each have a couple more drinks, and my head is starting to feel woolly, my vision glazed, and Derren leans in and kisses me.
With me pinned against the wall, he takes my breath away with every swipe of his tongue.
I love the way his body crushes into me.
The way he holds me against the wall. The flutter in my stomach escalates, and my heart beats faster.
“Come on, we’re heading down the street.
” His arm tightens around me, and I nod.
When the cold air hits me, I gasp, and he pulls me closer.
My head swims in the flood of fresh air; lack of food and excessive alcohol make me feel out of it.
We stumble down to a warehouse. There’s a dull roar coming from inside.
“Where are we?” Feeling foggy and confused, I try to regain some awareness.
“Chill, baby, you’ll love it.” I blink at him. Baby? That’s weird and heady. I think I like it.
We join a queue, bodies crammed behind a barrier.
Jostling together, we make our way to a set of double doors.
We finally get to the front, and we’re let inside.
The noise escalates, and I can see a blurred boxing-type cage in the centre.
Derren takes my hand and drags me further into the building to a makeshift bar.
He kisses me again, his hands roaming over my hips, tugging and pulling at my pockets before thrusting a warm beer into my hand.
His hand slides into mine. The heat from his palm makes mine sweat as he leads me through the crowd, pushing past people who snarl, glaring at us, as he forces his way to the front.
His friends follow behind us. When we get to the roped-off area, we line up along the edge, and I stand and stare.
Two men step into the ring, or cage, or whatever it is, and face each other before the bell goes.
“This is so fucking cool,” Derren screams in my ear, yanking me against him.
There’s a roar as the building erupts, and people surge forward.
A wave of bodies pushes one against the next, and Derren lunges forward, shouting at the fighters.
He steps back, but every time he gets excited, he slams into the people in front.
I’m buzzed, and everything feels fuzzy. He smiles at me with a devilish grin as he pulls me with him, crashing us into the rope and kissing me before I stumble back.
I’m out of it, and the crowd’s excessive noise disorients me.
The heat from being confined with so many people makes me sway.
Alcohol on an empty stomach was not my best plan, but everything happened so fast. I feel like I’m not really here.
The dull roar from the crowd is a million miles away, but surrounding me all at the same time.