Chapter 34
I wake feeling more tired than ever. Although I passed out when my head hit the pillow last night, I was restless; I kept waking, my mind racing. I wanted to call Killian, but after everything, I need to just wait.
He said he’s coming by today, so I climb out of bed and head to the shower, wanting to look good when he arrives, leaving my hair more natural.
I know he likes the waves in it. After shaking my head, I check myself in the mirror.
The purple bruise on my face and the cut from my glasses are shocking.
There’s an uncertainty hanging in the air.
I’m tentative about it all, but hopefully, when we finally see each other, it will all get sorted.
We will be together, and we can start over.
I hope he can forgive the confusion and indiscretions.
Because I want him, I’ve always wanted him.
I convinced myself it was nothing more than an inappropriate, one-sided crush on my almost-brother.
And I suppose that was the reality for so many years.
That moment of vulnerability when I threw myself at him and everything changed between us was simultaneously one of the lowest moments but also the best moment of my life.
I know now I should never have gone back to Derren repeatedly.
It was always Killian. I just didn’t feel worthy.
How could someone like him actually want someone like me for more than a quick fuck? I shake my head at my stupidity.
My phone buzzes, and I’m smiling like an idiot as I grab it. As I turn the screen, my face drops, and the blood rushes from me. My head spins, and I grab for the bed, sitting on the corner of it.
Derren: I’m outside
Scott: It’s over, Derren
Derren: I knw pls just 5 mins
Scott: No, Derren, I’m sorry.
Derren: I jst wanna say sry pls
I sigh, toss my phone on the dresser, thinking that, even though he hurt me, I probably owe him an honest conversation. Allow him to say sorry to give us both closure. I head downstairs and slowly walk along the path, my arms wrapped protectively around myself.
“Derren.” I offer him a tight-lipped smile.
“Baby,” he slurs.
“Oh my God, Derren, are you drunk?”
His arm reaches for me, and he stumbles a little. I grab for him.
“Fuck’s sake, Derren. I’ll order you an Uber. You can’t drive home, you’re steaming.”
I turn to head into the house, but a menacing chuckle comes from behind me as his body slams into the back of mine. His arms band around me, and his hand covers my mouth.
That’s when I hear the scuffle of boots, and his two friends step in front of me.
I take a breath to scream. One punches me in the stomach, making me double over.
Derren’s arms dig in before lifting me off my feet, and the other grabs my legs.
The one who punched me walks to the boot and pops it open while Derren and his other friend carry me towards it.
I try to kick and scream, but they hold me tight, shoving me inside.
I yell as they close the boot. But then it all goes dark.
I kick and scream at the inside of the lid as the doors close and the wheels spin away from the side of the road.
The driving is erratic. I’m thrown around, trying to concentrate on not smashing into the sides of the enclosed space.
I wedge myself against the walls as they weave in and out of traffic.
Derren’s breath reeked of alcohol. Almost like after our run-in, they’d carried on drinking.
What the hell are they gonna do to me? No one knows I’m here.
I don’t even have my phone. I don’t know where they’re taking me.
Tears fill my eyes, and I try to blink them away.
The car makes several sharp turns and brakes harshly before we pull to a stop, and the engine turns off.
Fighting hyperventilation, I curl into the back of the dark space.
Muffled whispers get louder as they come to the back of the vehicle.
It’s broad daylight, first thing in the morning, wherever they have taken me, someone must be around.
I take a deep breath, pushing myself as far back as I can get.
When the boot springs open, I start to scream.
“Shut the fuck up,” Derren barks as he leans in and punches me in the stomach again, as the other two step forward.
I start to kick, yelling and throwing my arms around, but they bend in and drag me out.
I fight with all I’m worth, but there are too many of them.
They have me wrapped in a tight grip. Derren has me under my arms, one has my legs, and the other has a roll of tape that he tries to tape across my mouth.
I lash out, and I shout and scream. I’m eventually dropped on the ground.
I scramble and try to run, but Derren throws himself on me, and the other winds tape around my face as I buck and try to scream again.
I’m snatched off the floor, blinking as I try to see my location. I’m outside Derren’s apartment.
They carry me upstairs, holding my limbs firmly, as I jostle with them. Once I’m inside, there’s no telling what will happen. It’s a rough area, and no one came. No one saw. No one cared.
As they carry me into Derren’s apartment, my hope diminishes. They let go, but only long enough for Derren to punch me in the face, and I stumble towards the bed. I flop back onto it. Derren dives on top of me, his taller friend grabbing at my arms as the corner of the tape peels back.
“Please, Derren, don’t,” I gasp before the tape is pushed back across my lips.
The shorter one has my hands. I try to kick, but Derren flattens his body against mine.
His warm, stale breath invades my nostrils.
The rank smell of alcohol and cigarettes turns my stomach; his eyes are red and glassy from excessive drinking and probably lack of sleep.
Tears stream down my face as I try to breathe through the tape.
Derren grabs my hair, and I wince as he yanks my head until I’m sitting.
He straddles me as the others grip my arms.
“Well, well,” he slurs. His hold tight in my hair, and my eyes water. “Looks like you’re gonna get what you deserve. You made a fucking fool of me last night. I lost thousands of pounds because of your fucking little stunt.”
Frantically, I shake my head, his grip tightens as he tugs at the strands.
I try to get the words out, but it’s just grunts and gasps that fill the silence, nothing that anyone will take notice of.
Nothing louder than a TV. I try to kick out, but Derren is straddling me, my legs pinned awkwardly.
His body crushes mine, pushing me back, and the other two get close to the side of us.
“I’m gonna make you wish you’d stayed faithful.
I’m gonna fuck you in front of my friends.
And then I’ll let them have a turn. And I’ll watch while they ruin you, and then if I want, I’ll fuck you again.
Then I’ll call your precious boyfriend and show him what a good little slut you are.
He won’t want you after you’ve been run through like a cheap slag, but then neither will I.
You’ll be alone, and no one will give a fuck.
” He nods to his friend. “Get the phone ready. I want to record everything. Make sure you get a close view of it all.” He smirks at me.
My eyes widen, and I try to wriggle off the bed, but he shoves me back down. “No one knows you’re here. You’re not going anywhere.”
I try kicking and screaming, but they restrain me, laughing. Derren licks my face, and the bile churns in my stomach. How could I have ever thought he was a good guy? I stare at him, my eyes streaming with tears, pleading with him. Don’t do this.
He just grins at me. He dips his head at his friends, and they pull back a little.
One steps aside, and the other pulls out his phone and points it at us.
I start to struggle, but a sharp sensation presses into my neck.
My eyes flick to the crony who now wields a knife.
The cold metal presses against my skin, and I freeze.
Derren feels me stop fighting and kneels up.
He pulls my glasses off and climbs off the bed.
His friend chuckles. “That’s it, stay still, and I won’t have to cut you. But I won’t be mad about it if I have to.”
They all laugh, the stale alcohol lingering on their breath. Derren and his other friend stand and stare at me. Lust fills their gazes. I don’t even think they’re gay or bi.
Derren starts to unbuckle my jeans, the tape tight across my face.
My eyes stream, pleading with him not to do this.
I’m frozen in fear. He unzips my jeans and starts to tug them past my hips.
When they reach my thighs, my body involuntarily starts to buck, and I kick out, the knife, digging into my skin, but I keep fighting with all my might.
The blood trickles down my neck as his friend snarls and presses harder.
I catch Derren in the nuts, and he yells and drops back.
His friend gasps, pulling back slightly before pressing the knife against my neck once more.
His other friend comes around to the side of me, dropping the phone onto the bed, and they both grab my arms, holding me down.
Derren steps to the bottom of the bed. “I like it when you fight, baby. It will make it so much sweeter when I finally fuck you.” I throw my legs out, catching him in his stomach. He doubles over, and I do the same again, catching him in the face this time. He screams out, dropping onto the floor.
I start to scream, and the tape starts to loosen across my face.
I do the same again, and the sound rings out.
When I thrash, his friends grab at my arms, trying to restrain me.
The knife clatters to the floor as they wrestle with my flailing limbs as I try to free myself from their tight restraint.
Derren dives at me, his fist catching me in the face, and I cry out. His whole body crushes me, his hands tight over the lower half of my face. A metallic tang fills my mouth as I struggle underneath him. I buck as his friends hold my arms down, but I twist, fight, and try to yell.
“Derren, get him under control,” the taller one shouts.
“This is gonna be so much sweeter now you’re making us work for it,” the other one sneers.
Derren’s grip tightens on my face, and his other hand wraps around my neck. His fingers hold firm, digging into my skin, bruising painfully. His body crushes against mine, and his rock-hard dick presses into me. He’s getting off on this. A sneer spreads across his face. “Turn him over.”
My eyes widen, and I try to buck, to thrash, but they claw at my skin.
Derren moves off me enough to turn me, forcing me onto my front.
They pull my wrists and arms behind my back at unnatural angles.
I gasp and wince, trying not to move. My wrists feel like they might snap if I twist the wrong way.
Derren’s hips lift, and the sound of his zip being tugged down pierces the air.
My breathing picks up. My body tenses, and he leans in.
“This is gonna hurt real good, baby.”
The tip of his dick touches the top of my boxers as he tugs at the waistband. I try to wriggle, but the angle of my wrists and the way they’re pushing on my shoulders is excruciating. Derren presses his dick against my ass, and I clench with all my might. His hand forces its way into my hair.
“Fucking relax,” he snarls.
I rub my face against the pillow, trying to remove the tape. Derren pushes harder, forcing his way in. He yanks on my hair, and the tape comes away, sticking to the pillow. With everything I have in me, I scream for help. Derren’s body pins mine as his hands cover my mouth.
There’s a knock at the door. A voice yells from the other side, “Delivery.”
They all freeze, and I take the opportunity to bite down on the hand over my mouth as he rips it away. I scream for help again at the top of my lungs. Derren throws his fist into my cheek. I’m dazed and try to shake it off as he grips my face.
“Delivery,” the voice shouts again through the door.
“Fuck, answer it and get them to fuck off,” Derren spits at one of his friends before leaning in. “I swear to God. I will fucking kill you if you make another sound.” He nods to his friend, and the door creaks open.