Chapter 5
Chapter Five
Nina
Luca takes me to his home.
My new home.
That’s something I’m going to have to get used to. I belong to Luca Moretti now. My old life is over and already I’m losing so much. My old house. My sister. I won’t even see my mom as much, which hits the hardest.
Luca leads me into the house with a commanding presence. This is his domain. Where he holds all the power.
The house itself is beautiful. Elegant and refined. White colors with splashes of blue to make everything seem beachier, even though we’re in the heart of New York city.
“This is your home now,” Luca says as he walks me through every room. “I want you to like it here. I don’t want a miserable wife.”
“You just want to control everything I do.”
He throws me a smirk that makes me roll my eyes. “I want to guide you. Lead you. You need it. And don’t roll your eyes at me. It reminds me too much of your sister and I don’t like that.”
“I am like my sister. That’s something you should know about me.”
He places two fingers under my chin to tilt my head back. “You are not like your sister. You don’t have to be. Don’t be moody like she is. You can be better. I will help you be better.”
“How?”
“I’ll show you.” He takes me to the master bedroom. The sight of the bed makes me uneasy. I’m going to have to be intimate with him on that bed. Luca is a handsome man, that is not the problem. The problem is that I barely know him. He intimidates me. Frightens me in some ways.
“Here.” He goes into the walk-in closet and comes back out with a silky nightgown. “You are going to put this on. I doubt you want to sleep in your wedding dress all night.”
“Of course I don’t but…”
“But? There are no ‘buts’ in this relationship, Nina. You’ll do as I say. I can tell you need a firm hand. I can provide that for you. You’ll learn to appreciate it. Now, I am going to take your wedding dress off.”
My hands cross over my stomach. “I can take my own dress off.”
“I know you can. But I’m going to do it for you. It’s time you get used to this. When I fed you at the wedding, that was just the beginning. I am going to guide you in everything you do until you become the wife I want you to be. Until you can stand up to your sister.”
“I never asked you to do any of this,” I snap. I may be sweeter than Susanna but that doesn’t mean I don’t have my own bratty side. I used to be just as bad as Susanna was when we were younger. I’ve grown out of a lot of it but some of it still lingers inside of me, especially when I get anxious.
“You don’t have to ask. I am your husband now. We’re doing this, Nina.” With his commanding walk, he moves behind me and places his hands on the button along my spine. My inhale is sharp.
“I don’t want you to control everything in my life.”
“You don’t want it, but you need it. Now, be still.” He begins to unbutton my dress. On instinct, I wrench myself away from him.
“I said no. I can take my own dress off. You’re pushy and rude.”
His eyes narrow. For the first time, I’m seeing the real Luca Moretti. The mafia man. The danger inside of him. “Do you like feeling like this?”
“Like what?”
“Anxious? Uncertain? I can sense it in you, Nina. You’ll like what I can do for you.
I assure you.” Without asking my permission, he walks back behind me and quickly finishes unbuttoning my gown before he pushes it off my shoulders.
I stand still as my naked body is exposed to him.
The only fabric I have covering myself is my underwear and it’s flimsy at best. No bra. I didn’t need one with my dress.
Luca still doesn’t say a word as he moves to stand in front of me. His intense eyes sweep over my body. They darken as they take me in. I’m not sure if it’s lust or anger or a combination of the two.
I cover my breasts.
“Don’t,” he says in a softer tone. “You have a beautiful body. I like looking at it.”
“I don’t want you to look at me.”
“Why not? Are you ashamed of your body, Nina?”
I remember all the times Susanna would comment on my figure. How I wasn’t skinny enough, even though I’m plenty thin. How I was too flat-chested or too short, where she had a fuller figure and more height to her that gave her a model-like appearance.
“I just feel embarrassed,” I admit. “I’ve never done this before.”
“I figured you hadn’t. You’re only nineteen. So young.”
“It’s kind of creepy that you’re so much older than me.”
He smirks again. “Trust me. I tend to go for women closer in age to me. But Alek didn’t have any daughters closer in age to me.
Just you and Susanna and I needed to cement my alliance with Alek at all costs.
This is a marriage of convenience for both of us.
Not love. But that doesn’t mean you should hide your body from me.
You don’t have to. You’re beautiful, Nina. ”
He picks up the nightgown and holds it above my head. “Lift your arms up so I can put this on you.”
But to lift my arms up means I have to uncover my breasts. That’s exactly what Luca wants.
I look him right in the eye and before I even realize what I’m doing, I lift my arms up and Luca lowers the silky nightgown onto me. It feels like wearing a cloud.
“I’ll be dressing you from now on,” he says. “Feeding you. Doing these things for you.”
“And if I say no?”
“You can say no all you want, Nina. But we’re doing this. Tell me you hated what we just did.”
How can I answer him? I feel strange and uncomfortable but also… relaxed. Luca is stating he is going to take care of me. Even though I’m not sure I’m ok with him dressing and feeding me, I do like that he seems concerned about my well-being. Susanna never was.
“I can’t,” I whisper. “I can’t say I hated it. But I can’t say I liked it either.”
All Luca does is give me that self-satisfied smirk of his.
And all I can do is blush, knowing this is the man I am married to.
I’m expected to sleep next to Luca. He acts like it’s not a big deal whereas for me, it’s too much to even fathom.
“You can get in the bed,” he says, under the covers, looking at me with amusement. “I won’t bite.”
He changed into sleep pants and nothing else so his bare chest is on display for me. I keep taking peeks at him but I can’t look for long.
“I’m not sure I can,” I admit, standing beside the bed, stiff as a board.
“You’re going to need to sleep at some point.”
“I can just sleep in another one of the rooms. You have, like, four of them.”
“But you’re my wife. You will sleep in the same bed as me, Nina. It’s what I want and it’s what you need to get used to. I’m not going to sleep in a different bed as my wife.”
“But couples sleep in different beds all the time. For some of them, it’s the reason they’re marriage is able to function.” I twist my hands together. Luca settles his eyes right onto the gesture. Immediately, I drop my hands to my sides.
“Maybe for other marriages, that is true. But for us, we’re going to sleep in the same bed. I will pick you up and tuck you in if you don’t get in the bed right this moment.”
I know he will too. He’s already fed and dressed me like I’m a baby.
With a sigh, I get under the covers. Luca is warm and big beside me. His presence is almost too much to bear.
“You’re awkward around men,” he observes.
“I can’t help it. You’re my husband yet, you’re still a stranger.”
“Then we should rectify that. What do you want to know about me?”
I stare at him in shock. “You really want to talk?”
“Why wouldn’t I?” he asks with a shrug. “I don’t want you to be a stranger either. What do you want to know about me?”
I think on it for a moment. I have to make this moment count. Luca is open right now but will he be that way forever? “How long have you worked for the mafia?”
“All my life. I was born into it. My father was a mafia man, just like yours was.”
“So, we were both born to this life.” That makes me feel slightly better. Without even realizing, I find myself sinking closer to him in the bed.
“What else? I’m sure you have more questions.”
I hesitate. There is a question I want to ask but I’m too afraid.
“Just ask, Nina.” His tone speaks to no disagreements.
“Have you ever killed anyone?” I blurt out.
“You didn’t take long to ask that question. We’ve only been married for a few hours now.”
“Are you going to answer?”
He stares at me for a long moment before he nods. “I have. You don’t get where I’ve gotten in my life and not have some blood on your hands.”
“How much blood?” I whisper.
“Too much blood,” he admits. “I won’t give you all the details for your benefit. To keep you safe. It’s better the less you know.”
“Do I have to worry about you?”
“Are you asking if I’ll kill you one day?” He takes a beat. “No. I want this alliance with Alek. I won’t risk it by killing you. Besides, you’re too pretty to kill.”
I blush. His words are not exactly reassuring.
“Do I have to worry about you trying to kill me?” he asks.
“Why would I kill you?”
“You don’t seem happy about this marriage. What better way to get out of it than get rid of me for good?”
I stare down at my hands. “I don’t have that kind of hate in my heart. Besides, I wouldn’t be able to kill you. You’re too strong.” A quick glance at his chest reveals his strong muscles. His arms are well defined and I can see the top of his six-pack peeking out of the covers.
“But you do have some hate in your heart? For your sister?”
I startle. “I never said I hate my sister.”
“You didn’t have to. It’s obvious. You can’t stand her. And yet, from what I observed at the wedding, you follow her lead. You’re scared of her and you admire her and you also hate her.”
“None of that is true. I am not scared of Susanna and I don’t hate her and I definitely don’t admire her.”
“Then what do you feel for her?”
“I feel…” Like I’m at a loss for words. To define what I feel for Susanna is too complex. It would take years of unweaving it to understand it. “It’s not important. We’re married now. You’re my future. Not Susanna. That’s all that matters.”
Luca gives me a knowing look but doesn’t comment on it. “I think it’s time we go to bed. It’s been a long day.” He turns the light out, plunging me into darkness.
The part that worries me about Luca is not his physical strength or his commanding presence. It’s the fact that he’s so good at reading me only after knowing me for a short time that terrifies me.