Chapter 4
Four
Jarek
Ishouldn't let Riot's words get to me, but they do. There's so much going on in my mind right now, I'm not sure whose feelings are whose.
Even asleep, Vivian's emotions twist and turn, dragging me along with them. I need help managing this ability. Feeling her so strongly is all-consuming, but I can't ask my omega to help me. I won't. She'll have enough to figure out. If need be, I'll contact her friend Amaya's pack for advice.
It's ethereal.
The flashes of white, blue, and gold through the subtle hue of green confused me at first. But with the time spent in the hospital, I've come to realize that those colors and feelings are us.
It's fucking wild. Amazing and terrifying.
I'm simply in awe of how she manages the liveliness of the pack bond. I'm the big strong alpha, yet I feel like I could keel over with my hands pressed to my head and scream.
The sheer magnitude of what this woman can endure with a fucking smile on her face stuns me. I can hardly deal with the horrible truths from a damn stranger in a hospital bed.
Kade nudges my leg with his thigh, barely drawing me out of my thoughts. "Jay, he doesn't know us."
Next he'll be telling me to let it go.
"Just shake it off, my love," he murmurs. I barely contain my eye roll, but when he reaches an arm around the back of my chair to rub his fingers up and down my arm, I manage.
"Are you telling me what he said wasn't true? That you don't feel the same guilt I do?" I'm surprised by how dead my voice sounds, but I suppose it makes sense. Most of my energy is aimed at sorting my feelings from everyone else's. Although, isn't that just anxiety?
"Depends what you're feeling guilty for," Kade drawls quietly. Whether it's to keep Vivie sleeping or because he knows a headache is building in my skull, I'm unsure but I appreciate it.
Scoffing, I lean back and cross my arms. He doesn't stop touching me.
"I feel guilty for everything, Kade. Everything Riot said was true.
First, how could we let her get kidnapped?
We're not a new fucking pack. And what he said about Vivian not eating, her quietness, and comfort with putting herself at risk? Is that not on us?!"
"Quiet," Kade hisses. In a show of strength, he spins my chair to face him and slams his hands down on my thighs. "Don't you fucking dare feel like we haven't done everything we possibly can for her."
"I'm not saying?—"
"Yes, you are," he hisses and glances sideways at Vivian. "Come."
Kade rises to his feet, and I follow him to the couch near the windows. It's not much better, but at least we're not arguing over her sleeping body.
Before our asses even hit the couch, he's lecturing me. "There are so many battles people can't fight for the ones they love. Depression, anxiety. Mental health in general is fought within the beholder, Jay."
"Where did you read that?" I tease, except I know he's completely serious. And he's right, of course.
Ignoring my comment, my alpha continues with a pointed look. "We can support and love the shit out of her, but it's up to her. No matter how encouraging or how much we challenge her, those demons in her head are just that...hers."
"I know, Kade. But he's still right?—"
"No. Riot doesn't know us and he only knows the version of Vivian that was in captivity with him.
He doesn't know her. I don't care if he's her fucking alpha or not.
He has a lot to learn and understand about how our pack is run.
We don't force feed our omega. We'd never demand she snuff the fire out of her soul.
The sass, the fight, and voice are what make Vivian the omega we love. "
I open my mouth to agree with him, but he lifts a hand to stop me. "I'm not done. Would you bark at her to get her to eat on a bad day? Maybe shove the food in her mouth because you're worried about her weight?"
I balk, leaning back. "Never."
"Would you shout at her and use your dominance to scare the sass and fire out of her?"
I see where he's going with this, yet it still makes me sick to even think about. "Absolutely not. I love how independent and spicy she can be."
"How about getting her to talk when she can't? Would you use force or use manipulation to make her speak to you?"
"No, Kade. We would never do that."
"Right. And why not?"
Frowning, I really think about it. We had these conversations frequently in the beginning of our relationship when we were learning about our omega.
Many times we were scared and worried about her, but whatever prompted us to talk about how to help her always faded when she would tell us about her upbringing.
"Vivian doesn't need anyone to fix her. She's perfectly imperfect the way she is. Just like everyone else in the whole world, she needs support and people to love her. Her parents forced her into doctors’ appointments, pills, therapists, diets, workout regimens, and never once told her they loved her. "
"Exactly," Kade agrees with a stern nod. "I'm not saying that Riot would do any of those horrid fucking things, but he'll need to figure out how we operate. Fast. I won't have him spouting that damn shit in front of Vivian. And I sure as shit refuse to hear him tear into you the way he did today."
Breaking eye contact and looking at my woman, I think about the alpha in the other room. His pain faded when he realized Vivian wasn't with him. "He cares for her."
Kade grunts. "That he does. Nobody in their right mind would accuse bonded alphas of neglect while sitting injured in a hospital bed if he didn't."
"He's coming home with us," I murmur, already accepting the fact that Riot is ours. I'm just curious what Kade will think.
"Why do you think that?" He sounds more curious than defensive, so I take it as a green light to lay it out there.
Without taking my eyes off Vivie, I recount their devotion to one another.
"They dragged each other out of that hellhole with a trail of blood behind them.
One could have left the other. Vivian screamed and begged for Riot repeatedly when we first found them.
With a gunshot wound and a fucked up eyeball, Riot was ready to fight me to get to her.
Malnourished, dehydrated, injured, exhausted, and traumatized, both of them only thought about each other when they woke up. "
Kade huffs out a breath and leans forward with his elbows on his knees. "Our omega will have whatever she wants. If that's him, I'll hogtie him to keep him from running and demand he see reason."
"WHERE'S MY OMEGA?! VIVIAN!" Riot shouts from next door but quickly quiets. A text quickly comes in from Silas letting us know the new guy woke up a bit confused again, and they're fine.
"I don't think it will take that much convincing," I murmur and close my eyes.
Then the softest, most amazing sound in the whole world whimpers. My omega's awake. "Riot?"
Yep. He's coming home with us.