Chapter 16
Sixteen
Vivian
He doesn't believe me. Riot said he would listen, but he didn't hear me. The one time my anxiety loosens enough for me to have an actual conversation, and he throws it down the drain with his inability to accept me.
Pacing the length of my bedroom, I think through what I said. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything and just waited for him to figure it out in his own time. Except I don't think we have a lot of time before he chooses to leave.
How do I prove to him that we're connected, at least in some way? He's literally clinging to me in the bond, yet the Riot on the outside doesn't feel the same.
The longer we're home, and our proximity stays close without the stress of impending doom, the more I realize what we are to each other. Riot is my alpha whether he acknowledges it or not.
It hurts like nothing I've ever felt before that he doesn't feel me, but I can't change that. He's either adamantly ignoring it or there's something blocking him from seeing me. Feeling me.
My other mates don't experience the bond like I do, but they know without a shadow of a doubt that I am embedded into their souls. Maybe if I bite Riot it would speed things up.
No, that's a bad idea. Biting is off the table until he proves he's in this forever.
I didn't mean to suck him into the bond. Hell, I didn't even realize what the hell he was when I first noticed the damn tether. As far as I knew, he was the unwelcome one.
When we were in captivity, I didn't intend to strengthen the connection, but he was my lifeline.
He was strong, caring, and outspoken about how to keep myself alive.
I trusted him, and I needed that more than anything.
I needed him. His encouragement for me to live drew me to him.
Nobody but my mates has ever fought so hard for me to be okay.
I didn't mean to do this to him. If he wants to leave, he can. I'll reap the repercussions of my actions. What I created is deeper than his consciousness is aware of. Mine too honestly.
If he stays, we need to build trust in a whole new way. The one that leads to love. This bond needs to be wanted for it to work.
If he wants me, that is.
I have half a mind to shout and tell him to go fuck himself, but that's my sassy side talking. This goes far beyond my attitude problems, and there's no running from it.
I don't want to run, actually. Riot needs a swift knock upside the head and to be doused in my scent. That's a good idea. I'll start scent marking him, maybe then he'll start letting me in.
"You're working yourself up."
I jump at the deep timbre of Jarek's voice. Shooting him a glare, I don't stop my pacing. What am I going to do? Is it worth fighting for? I fight to smile every day. I don't think I have it in me to fight for someone to love me too.
Jarek moves around and sits on the edge of our large bed that we rarely use. He watches me for a few minutes before clearing his throat and wiping his hands on his jeans. "I said some things after you left."
The way he says it makes me stiffen. My feet stop, and I narrow my gaze on my alpha. What did you say?
"I may have been stupidly blunt, but that man needed a push." He's avoiding eye contact now. What did he do? "Before you start growling, let me explain, Butterfly," he teases, but his eyes are still wary.
I wave a hand, telling him to get on with it. My anxiety is rising, and there's no way I'll be able to function properly until he tells me.
Jarek drags a hand through his hair and ties the long strands back into a low ponytail. "He's our scent match, Vivie. All of ours. How he doesn't fucking realize it is beyond me."
I assumed as much. There's no other explanation for why he was in the bond.
"He's blocking himself off from us somehow. I imagine he has some traits like yours that give him the ability to do something so uncommon." Jarek sighs as if he's hurting too.
It's in my nature to comfort my alpha, so I pad over to him and straddle his lap. He gathers me close and purrs sweetly for me.
"I can feel him too, Butterfly," he murmurs into my hair. "But it's like he's immune to it. At least he was. I really threw the hard shit at him before I came up here. Hopefully he pulls his head out of his ass and realizes what an amazing omega he's missing out on."
Pulling back, I rest my palm over his chest and nudge a bit. He chuckles and grabs my wrist. After placing a soft kiss on my knuckles, he tucks a strand of hair behind my ears.
"Thank you. I'm a pretty good catch too, but he'll need to focus on forming his love with you first. No, don't shake your head at me. It's true. You will be his center and the rest will come later."
I let it go for now. I'm a firm believer there is no me without my men. Riot will need to find his place with all of us in order for this to work.
"You're so strong, you know that?" Jarek murmurs, surprising me just a bit. "That was a hard conversation, and you handled it beautifully."
Blushing, I try to bury my face in his neck, but he quickly releases my wrist and uses that hand to hold me in place with a firm grip on my throat. "No hiding from me, Vivian."
Heat rushes through me and settles in my core at his growly voice. A breath puffs out of me at the same time my hips grind against his hardening cock. This is the closest to pleasure I've been since before I was kidnapped.
"Alpha," I breathe, slick tickling my pussy lips as I quickly lose control. My need rises as does the dominance in Jay's golden eyes.
His hand slips up my throat and to my jaw. "You want me? Do you think you can handle me soft and slow?"
A pout immediately tugs my bottom lip out and my eyebrows down. No way do I want it soft and slow.
Jarek tsks and rolls his hips, making me feel the crown of his head against my sensitive clit. Just a few layers of clothes and— "You're still healing, Vivian. Don't worry, I'll still make it intense."
Placing me gently on my feet between his spread thighs, Jarek works my tank top up and over the swell of my breasts. "So pretty," he mutters and places a kiss near my right nipple.
I'm still littered with bruises and covered in an ugly bandage, yet he kisses me like I'm not damaged. His hands roam, lighting a fire in me, but he stops me from taking my pants off.
Instead, his hot thumbs dip into the waistband and slowly peel them down my legs. Chills race across my flesh, begging for more of his heat to chase them away. "Alpha?"
"One more minute. Let me savor you a bit longer," he rumbles softly as his eyes trail over every inch of skin he reveals. His hands trace my curves, gripping sometimes and other times passing by to allow him to place a sweet kiss there.
Tears prick the backs of my eyes, but I quickly shut them down. Now isn't the time to think about how scared I was that I'd never have this again.
Just when I think I'm going to come without him even touching my pussy, the air in the room shifts. Without thought, my back arches to entice my beta into joining us.
"Silas, come help me get our woman settled on my cock," Jay demands, barely pulling away from licking my belly button.
Silas doesn't say a word, but awareness makes me dizzy as he comes up behind me. "Hi, princess. Let me help you, hmm?"
Nodding, I'm putty in their hands as he helps me onto Jarek's lap. When my alpha's cock nudges my entrance, my perfume erupts and makes my men groan with appreciation.
"Fuck yes, just like that," Jarek rumbles, staring at his cock as it disappears inside of me. My walls contract and grip at him, begging for the fucking I know he won't give me.
"She's all the way down," Silas announces helpfully like I wasn't already gasping at the sheer amount of cock throbbing against my g-spot. "Such a good girl."
A whimper escapes me as they hold me steady and keep me from bouncing. It borders on cruel, but when Jarek's eyes flare with lust, my mood brightens. Hell yes, here we go.
Jarek lifts one hand from the mattress and pinches my nipple on the way to grasping my jaw. "Silas, you'll guide her hips. Slowly. Don't let her hurt herself," he demands without taking his eyes off me.
"My pleasure," Silas murmurs, fingers flexing on my hips and ass. "Fuck, she's practically vibrating."
"Good. Vivie," Jay says, gathering my attention when my eyes roll back, "you'll keep your eyes on me the whole time. This is going to be gentle, but you'll use your safeword or gesture if you need to, understand?"
"Yes, Alpha." Don't cry, don't fucking cry.
Jarek's eyes soften, but he thankfully rolls his hips and draws a moan from my trembling lips. "There you go. I'm going to knot you right as you soak my cock in your sweet slick."
Nodding, my mouth pops open on a moan. His hand flexes every time my pussy ripples around him. Each drag of his cock head sends me higher, and each time Silas drops me down, I feel my alpha's knot inflating ready to mark me and make me his.
The air shifts a moment before Jarek shouts, "FUCK! Silas," he growls and throws his head back in pleasure.
"Eyes on me, Alpha," I tease, breathless and ready to fly. My sass fizzles out in my own gasp when Silas' tongue tickles my back entrance. "Silas!"
With his hands still on my hips, guiding me up and down, he splits his attention by licking circles around my empty hole and sucking on Jay's balls.
Sweat beads along my brow, and Jarek's growls become deeper and more unhinged by the minute. "Fuck, okay. New plan. Come on my cock right fucking now, Vivian. Our beta is about to send me right over the edge."
Silas' hands flex on my hips, urging my pulsing pussy over my alpha's knot. I barely register the roar Jarek releases as my body feels like it's thrown through time and space. It lights up every atom of my body as I spiral through orgasmic bliss.
I take over rocking on Jay's knot but I soon slump forward and promptly pass the fuck out on his sweaty chest. My comfort and my home.