Chapter thirty-one
""Come stai qui? Che ci fai qui?" I ask, my voice hoarse, thick with tears. My face is a mess, streaked with mascara and my nose running. But Jax doesn't seem to mind. His hands gently cradle my face, his thumbs brushing away the wetness on my cheeks, his gaze steady and reassuring.
I know Cassian, Naz, and Aerin are standing behind us, but right now, it doesn't matter.
I'm too consumed with the shock of seeing Jax here, with the overwhelming mixture of emotions swirling inside me to properly acknowledge them.
Jax, though, he's calm, too calm, as if he's always known they were there.
"Regina told me," he says, his voice soft yet firm. "Don't pull that face, she only told me. I got on the first flight out. No one knew I was coming, and I'm here because that dickhead broke your heart. Don't even try to deny it. We could all see it—you had feelings for him."
His words hit me like a splash of cold water. I want to protest, to deny it, but there's no point. The truth is out there. I've been running from it, but I can't hide it anymore.
"Are you angry?" I whisper, my throat tight with a mixture of shame and fear. I watch as Jax's jaw clenches, his body tensing with something more than anger, something deeper.
"Angry about what?" His voice is low, strained, almost like he's forcing the words out. His breath is heavier now, as though every breath is a battle against the pain.
"That I fell for him... after everything. After us," I admit, my voice barely audible, like I'm confessing to some unforgivable sin.
Jax doesn't answer immediately. He just looks at me, his expression softening, though I can see the muscles in his face tightening.
Finally, he speaks, his voice rough but filled with an intensity I can't ignore.
"I'm angry, but not at you, Principessa.
Never at you. We both knew it wasn't going to last. We were better off as friends, anyway.
I'll always love you... but this?" His eyes flicker to the others—Cassian, Naz, Aerin—who've been quietly observing us this whole time. "This is different."
I feel the weight of his words, the finality of them, but I can't hold onto it. Not now. Not when the world feels like it's spinning out of control.
"I'll always love you too, as my best friend," I say softly, my voice breaking a little. "What we had... what we thought love was... it's different now. You'll see it one day, when you fall in love with a woman. Truly fall in love."
Jax nods, his lips pressing into a thin line. I can see the unspoken understanding in his eyes, the acceptance that what we had is over. But it's not the end of us. It's just... a different chapter.
I stand on my tiptoes, my lips brushing his pale, warm cheek in a soft kiss before pulling away.
I turn to face the others, still feeling Jax's presence behind me.
Naz is wrapped around Aerin, whose face is wet with unshed tears, and Cassian.
.. well, he's standing there with an eyebrow raised, an amused smirk playing at the corners of his lips.
"I'm way too sober for this kind of emotional stuff," Cassian finally says, his voice light, but there's a hint of something underneath, something almost protective. "Are you joining me back at the bar, or are we just going to stand here and cry?"
His words break through the tension, and before I can stop it, a laugh bursts from my chest—loud and unexpected.
It's a laugh filled with release, with relief.
I couldn't stop it even if I tried. Cassian laughs too, and I know he's not laughing at me.
He's laughing with me. The sound of his laughter, the laughter of my friends, fills the space around us, and for a moment, it feels like things might just be okay.
Even Naz chuckles a little, though it's more subdued. He's still holding Aerin close, his hand on her shoulder in a protective gesture, but the laughter, the sense of normalcy, is enough to push away the darkness, even if just for a little while.
"I'm always down for more alcohol," I giggle, my hand linking with Cassian's as he leads the way back to the bar. Jax follows, his hand brushing against mine, and I know that even though everything is still a mess, there's a glimmer of something better ahead.
At least, for tonight, we'll be okay.
— — —
The moment Elisa locked the door behind her, a cold wave of fear swept through me. My heart was pounding in my chest, and I could feel the air growing heavier with every passing second. The shouting outside grew louder, sharper, each call sending a spike of panic through my veins.
Jax moved quickly, tossing my belongings into a suitcase, his every motion frenzied but calculated. The urgency in his movements only intensified the growing terror inside me. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think.
"What's going on?" I managed to choke out, my voice trembling as I tried to make sense of the chaos unravelling around us. The shouts from outside—angry, threatening—seemed to close in, vibrating the walls. The sound of heavy boots grew louder, thudding with purpose.
"We don't know," Jax's voice was tight, clipped.
"Zeke called, said two men showed up at the gates, asking for you.
They've got guns—hidden weapons. Zeke spotted the bulges in their clothes and knew something was off.
He called us, but we have to move now. We don't know who they are, and we don't have time to find out. "
My hands were shaking violently as I joined him, trying to force myself to focus.
Each item I packed felt like I was sealing my fate—like I was preparing for something I couldn't escape.
The shouting outside grew louder, more urgent, and my body trembled, paralyzed by the fear that they were already here, too close.
Jax squeezed my hand tightly, but his own grip was trembling just a little too. "We're going to make it out of here safely. Naz has a helicopter waiting for us on the beach. We just have to get there in one piece. Don't worry."
But the fear clawed at my chest, choking me. It wasn't that simple. There were too many variables, too many things that could go wrong.
"You make it sound easy," I whispered, my throat tight. "This isn't going to be easy."
Elisa grabbed my shoulders, forcing me to look her in the eyes.
There was a fire in her gaze, something fierce, something determined.
"Stop worrying, Alexa. Don't let fear cloud your judgment.
You're Alexandria fucking Rayne Castillo, and you're stronger than you think.
I'll meet you in America, and we'll be safe. Just... just trust me. You have to."
Her words hit me like a punch to the gut. I could hear the desperation in her voice, even if she was trying to mask it. She was scared, too. But she was trying to make me believe. She wanted me to stay strong. And for a second, I almost did.
But then it hit me like a ton of bricks.
"Wait!" My voice cracked, panic rising up my throat like a tidal wave. "Meet us there? No. You need to come with us. You can't stay here. You have to come with us, Elisa!"
She didn't respond right away. Her eyes softened, and she pressed her forehead to mine. It was the kind of quiet gesture that made my heart ache. I could feel her fear, the unspoken words that we both knew but couldn't say. She was staying behind. And she was doing it to protect me. To protect us.
"I love you," she whispered, her voice breaking. Before I could even react, she was gone. The sound of her footsteps retreating was the final blow, each step feeling like a betrayal.
"No!" I cried out, reaching toward the window where she had just disappeared. But Jax's grip on me was firm, and before I could protest further, he threw me over his shoulder with surprising ease.
I felt helpless. I tried to squirm free, but it was useless.
The door behind us banged open, and Jax was already running, his strides quick and desperate.
I was being carried like a lifeless ragdoll, my heart pounding in my ears.
My mind raced—why wasn't Elisa coming with us?
Why was she staying behind to face whatever danger was outside?
I didn't care if she thought she could handle it on her own. I didn't care if she believed she could protect me from a distance. I needed her with me.
I turned my head, trying to look back, trying to see if Elisa had come to her senses, but she was already gone. I couldn't hear her. She was lost to me.
And in that moment, as Jax sprinted through the hallways with me over his shoulder, the weight of everything crashed down on me. The fear, the uncertainty, the knowledge that I was being torn away from everyone I cared about—it was suffocating.
"Jax, please, don't let me go back," I begged, my voice shaking as tears burned in my eyes. "I can't lose her. I can't lose anyone else."
His breath was heavy, but he didn't falter. He didn't stop.
"I won't let you go back, Alexa. I promise. But we have to move, now."
We ran out the back door. The sound of shouting outside was deafening. The panic was building, like a storm on the horizon, and I couldn't see the way out.
I didn't know if Elisa was alive or dead. I didn't know what was waiting for us out there. But as Jax ran with me in his arms, the only thing I knew for sure was that I wasn't going to stop fighting. I couldn't.
I wouldn't let them take me. Not without a fight.
And when I saw Elisa again—if I saw her again—I wasn't going to let her get away with making that choice. I would never forgive her for leaving me behind.