Chapter Forty-Two #3
“By then, I already knew our foster parents were expecting a baby.
Ivan made sure I never forgot it. Whenever he wanted to hurt me, he'd remind me that while I was trapped in Russia, they were building a new family without me.
He'd tell me they'd replace me, that by the time I escaped, they wouldn't even remember I existed.”
A quiet, humourless laugh escaped me.
“But I wasn't angry they were having another child.
I was terrified for him. They could barely take care of themselves, never mind a baby.
They spent every day high, drunk or passed out, and all I could think about was what kind of life that little boy was going to have.
I knew exactly what it felt like to grow up believing no one wanted you, and I couldn't bear the thought of another child living through that.”
I shook my head.
“But even knowing he was coming wasn't enough to pull me out of the hole I'd fallen into.”
My voice cracked.
“So... I overdosed.”
A sharp gasp cut through the silence.
“I took every pill I could find because I genuinely believed everyone would be better off without me. I remember lying there thinking... finally. Finally it would all be over. No more nightmares. No more guilt. No more Ivan.”
Mum let out a broken sob as I blinked away the tears threatening to fall.
“But I didn't die.”
I looked down at my hands.
“I woke up in hospital with Sean sitting beside my bed, Asher, Mario and Lillian asleep in chairs because they'd refused to leave me. That was the moment I realised I hadn't just tried to end my own life. I'd almost destroyed theirs too.”
The admission hung heavily between us.
“As I lay there in that hospital bed, I couldn't stop thinking about the baby I'd been so worried about.
He hadn't even been born yet, and I'd almost left him with two people who couldn't look after him.
That's when I made myself a promise. If I couldn't find a reason to live for myself, then I'd live for him.”
A genuine smile tugged at my lips despite the ache in my chest.
“I would give that little boy everything no one had ever given me. I would make sure he knew what it felt like to be loved, protected and chosen.”
“From the moment Dario was born, he became my entire world.
I practically raised him while our foster parents disappeared into their addictions.
I fed him, changed him, rocked him to sleep and, whenever they became too high to look after him or the house filled with shouting, I'd take him to Sean's.
I never had to ask if we could stay. I'd show up at his door with Dario in my arms, and he always let us in. Every single time. He never once made me feel like I was a burden.”
I glanced at Sean, my smile softening for a moment before it slowly disappeared.
“I believed everything was going to be okay. I thought our foster parents would carry on destroying themselves and leave us alone. I thought Ivan had finally forgotten about me.”
I let out a slow breath.
“I was wrong.”
The memory crashed into me with the same force it always had, my chest tightening as I fought to keep my voice steady.
“Dario had just turned one when I came home one afternoon and heard voices coming from the kitchen. I recognised one of them immediately.”
I swallowed hard.
“Anna Petrova.”
Sean's expression darkened instantly.
“They didn't know I was home, so I stood in the hallway and listened. I thought it was another drug deal.”
I shook my head.
“It wasn't.”
The room fell deathly silent.
“Ivan wanted Dario.”
Every face around me lost its colour.
“He offered Joseph and Jacqueline something they wanted more than anything else: a lifetime supply of drugs. In return, all they had to do was hand over a one-year-old little boy when Ivan came to collect him.”
Disgust churned in my stomach at the memory.
“They didn't argue or hesitate. They accepted the offer without a second thought.”
My voice cracked.
“They sold him.”
For a moment, I closed my eyes, still able to hear every word of that conversation.
“I remember standing there completely frozen. Then something inside me snapped. I ran upstairs, grabbed Dario out of his cot, threw whatever clothes I could find into a bag and ran. I didn't stop until I reached Sean's house.”
I looked across at him.
“I knew I couldn't sit around waiting for Ivan to come. If I did, Dario would end up exactly where I had.”
I shook my head.
“I couldn't let that happen.”
Drawing in a steadying breath, I continued.
“So I came up with a plan. Ever since I'd escaped, Ivan had been looking over his shoulder. He wasn't afraid of Sabrina. He was afraid of Diabola. He knew exactly what he'd trained me to become, and he knew that one day I'd come back for him.”
A bitter smile crossed my face.
“The only way to make him stop hunting me was to convince him that Diabola was dead.”
I lifted my eyes, holding each member of my family's gaze.
“So Morana killed Diabola.”
The words settled over the room.
No one moved.
And for the first time since I'd begun speaking, I realised there was one truth left that I could no longer hide.