X.5
Y/N sat with a bottle of Bluebell wine, leaning against an old wooden fence gate.
She could often be found here, on the edge of the forest, whenever she needed time to think.
And she had been doing a lot of that lately.
Her head was in a fuzzy state from intoxication, but she didn't care.
She preferred it this way. It made it easier to forget.
She was about to take another swig from the bottle when she heard footsteps approaching her direction. Realizing she was on the opposite side from everyone from her village, all alone and under the influence, she gripped the glass bottle in her hand, ready to use it as a weapon if needed.
"I really hope you don't plan on bashing me over the head with that." A voice rang out.
A figure emerged from the darkness, and she felt herself stiffen. In this light, she wasn't able to make out much about who this was. The only thing she did know was that it was a man that she had never met before. She didn't recognize the voice.
"And I really hope I won't have to." She replied.
He stopped a short distance away from her. "Mind if I join you?"
She squinted her eyes to get a better look at him, but realizing it was a fruitless endeavour, let out a sigh. "Go ahead."
He sat with his back against a tree trunk, both of them facing the direction of the village, where in the distance they could see the lights from the village square.
"How come you're not attending the tea harvest festival?" He asked.
Y/N lowered her eyes. "I'm not in the celebrating mood."
"How come?" He asked.
"Do you always ask so many questions?" Y/N shot back.
"Usually, no. Do you plan on answering?"
She snorted. "You're real funny, you know that."
"Yes, I've been told that from time to time." He said.
She turned her head to face him. "Well, let me ask you a question. Why aren't YOU out there celebrating, hm?"
The man's posture slackened, and he lowered his head. "I guess I'm not in a celebrating mood either."
Silence fell between the two. Not an uncomfortable one, but one that you would be okay with experiencing while in the presence of someone else.
A cool wind blew through the trees, the leaves rustling above them.
Crickets chirped in the distance. The grass tickled Y/N's legs.
And the full moon hung oh so beautifully in the sky tonight.
The scene really was the picture definition of a peaceful night.
Y/N gulped down another mouthful of the wine. "I have to make an important choice soon."
The man perked up hearing this, but he remained silent, encouraging her to continue.
"I have to decide the path I want my life to take. If I want to continue with the work I'm doing now, if I want to stay in Lenor Vale for the rest of my life, or if I should just give up and do something else."
She hugged her knees to her chest. "I thought I knew what I wanted my life to look like. I would study well, find a good job, and move to the capital. But every day, it feels like that dream is getting further and further away. I can't focus on anything,
every time I walk into a room I feel like everyone else has got it figured out except me, and it feels like nothing but luck that I've made it as far as I have."
"And my Irene, do I have no idea what I want anymore. Or what is even achievable for me? What is my next step supposed to be? I just...feel like I'm drifting along in life. Just going through the motions every day. I wasn't always like this. I used to be so passionate about what it is that I do.
I just didn't expect it to be this hard and suck all the joy out of everything." Her voice broke on the last sentence.
She tried her best to collect herself within a couple of seconds.
She could see him turn to face her direction from the corner of her eye, and she felt embarrassed.
But these feelings she had been holding inside for so long were finally ready to bubble to the surface.
And who better to talk to than someone she didn't even know?
He cleared his throat. "I'm sorry. It's difficult to feel like you know exactly how things are going to go, only for the rug to be pulled out from beneath you. While I might not know you, I can see how much you care about your future. And the way I see it, you have different paths you can take.
You're not stuck on one path; you can choose something different. Even if that means abandoning the thing you believed gave you purpose. Sometimes we just grow out of things. And that doesn't mean that thing was wrong for us, but rather we have experienced everything we could,
and are ready to move on."
He turned back to face the village. "But, if deep down you feel that the path you're on is the one for you and things are just difficult for right now, I hope you try your best to hang on. Because one day, these feelings will be all in the past, and you'll look back and smile.
Feel proud of your past self. And I assure you that absolutely no one has everything all figured out. Those people that you're envious of are just as lost as you are. It's just what being human is like."
A tear rolled down her cheek. Somehow, he had said exactly what she needed to hear. It felt like the universe had sent a messenger down to her to tell her to fight. To not give up. Because her dreams were hers to have.
"Yeah, you're right." She whispered.
She turned her head to face him, and only once he faced her did she utter, "Thank you."
His face remained blurry in her vision, but she could see his lips form a smile. "Anytime."
Y/N exhaled a laugh and wiped her wet cheek with the back of her hand. She then held the bottle out to him. "Want some? It's really good."
He seemed hesitant, and Y/N shook the bottle in her hand to entice him. He let out a sigh and grabbed the bottle to take a large swig from it. She laughed when he started coughing.
"Oh god, what is that?" He asked, immediately handing the bottle back to her.
"Bluebell wine, sorry I probably should've warned you they become bitter the longer they ferment."
"Yeah, I wish you had." He replied, looking around desperately for something to flush the flavour out of his mouth.
Y/N threw a waterbottle in his direction. "Here, catch."
He caught it and looked at her questioningly.
"I don't drink without having something to help me sober up. That would be very irresponsible." She tilted her head while smiling.
He quickly chugged the water, and Y/N put the cork back in the bottle, deciding she had done enough drinking for the day. Or the month if she was being honest with herself.
"So, what's your story?" She asked.
He paused in the middle of recapping the bottle. "Oh, it's nothing important."
Y/N shot him a knowing look. "You and I both know that's not true."
He grew quiet, and Y/N rested her head on her knees.
"This might be the best way for you to talk to someone about it. We don't know each other, and we'll probably never meet again. I hold no expectations of you and vice versa. And from experience, I can tell you dumping your feelings on a stranger is strangely cathartic."
"Today is my birthday."
Y/N looked at him in surprise. Of all things to trouble someone, a birthday was something she never expected to hear.
"What, did you not get any presents or something?" She joked.
He fiddled with the bottle in his hands. "No, I didn't."
"Well, sounds like you need better friends or something. I would never let a friend leave their birthday empty-handed, that's for sure."
"This isn't a gift anyone could give me. I'd consider myself lucky if I had been blessed with it."
Y/N scratched her head. "Alright, sir, I have no idea what you're talking about. It's humid as hell out here, the world is starting to spin, and I'm starving, so could you please pity me and stop with the riddles?"
Silence.
Then, as her ears adjusted to the quiet, she began to pick up on his shuddering breaths. The spasming of his chest as he tried to get his bearings.
"I have no soulmate."
A strong wind brushed through the trees. The fence Y/N was leaning on creeked under her weight. And the grass that was poking her legs suddenly seemed so pointy.
"I woke up today, so excited to see the mark I would be given. My mother even prepared some painkillers for me to take so the pain wouldn't be so bad when it emerged. And even though I was dreading the pain, I was excited for what it meant. But I woke up and...nothing. I felt absolutely nothing.
No pain, no burning, no soreness, nothing."
He clenched his fists in defeat. "But there was still a whole day ahead of me, right? That's what I told myself. That soon enough I would feel something, and it would all come true. I could finally start on my path to find my love. My salvation.
The person who would take me to all of these magical places and with whom I could give my love and affection."
"And yet, here I am. A full moon hanging above my head. And nothing. I am as I was when I first woke up. Alone. Utterly alone." His voice broke on the final two words.
Y/N sat there stunned. Where this man was so easily able to offer her words of encouragement, she came up short.
Because in truth, she did not know what to say.
She had heard of people who never developed soulmarks even after reaching maturity, but they were so few and far between that she had never expected to meet one.
And yet, here he was. Sitting in front of her, completely broken.
And while she could understand how devastating this was to him, she found she couldn't entirely sympathize with him.
Because where he saw a lifetime of loneliness, Y/N saw opportunity.
While it was likely that she would develop her own mark and be branded as someone else's, the person before her held utter freedom in his hands.
For he was not bound by the chains of fate.
But she knew that was the last thing he would want to hear.
"That's not true," Y/N said with complete conviction.
The shaking of his shoulders stopped, and he turned to look at her.
"The way I see it, you have more freedom than anyone else out there. You can choose who to love. You're not bound to a single person in this world. Unlike the rest of us, you've been given a choice. Isn't that the most romantic thing of all?"
"And how exactly am I supposed to do that when everyone else has a soulmate?" He asked monotonously.
Y/N leaned her head back to look at the moon.
"Who said soulmates had to be romantic? Our society has it all wrong. The definition of a soulmate is different from person to person. And yet, we have all somehow accepted that it had to be romantic. There's no other explanation. But I think that's wrong. Soulmates can be so much more than that.
We should have the right to choose what that means to us. You, like everyone else, deserve the right to choose who to devote your heart to."
"But it is against Renetian law to deny your soulmate their right to you." He correctly reminded her.
"Yes, it is. But who said the law was moral? That the law was right? After all, they change all the time depending on who is in charge. Who's to say things won't be different in 5-10 years?" She said.
His shuddering breaths turned into quiet, shallow ones.
"I'm not saying that your life will be easy. In fact, I think it will be far from that. But you have just as much of a right to love as anyone else. Besides, with how many unhappy soulmates there are out there, you never know, there just might be someone who wants to move forward with you.
And it is not wrong for you to walk alongside them. Because it is your volition and theirs."
Y/N staggered up to her feet, using the fence as support.
She knew if she stayed out there any longer, she would begin to lose feeling in her legs.
She gripped the wine bottle in one hand and her head in the other, feeling the beginnings of a headache forming.
She wobbled a few steps back towards the village before turning back to face him.
"Thank you for giving me company on this lonely night. I don't know if we'll ever meet again. But I sincerely hope you find something worth fighting for. You deserve to be happy."
A star twinkled in the sky.
To the man, the most unexpected girl stood before him, her hair flowing through the wind, the moonlight reflecting the warmth of her eyes. And the drunken smile that spread across her lips was enough to give him pause. How extraordinary she was.
"I hope you find something worth fighting for, too." He whispered.
As they parted, both wondered if they would ever see each other again. The person who had kept them company on such a lonely night. And it was in Y/N's memories that she could recall the stunning shade of green that were his eyes.