Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
QUINN
T he next day comes all too quickly, and then we’re preparing to leave on yet another journey. A journey that will require two nights spent within the forest—and that’s if this goes without issue.
I don’t know why Abby was so adamant about going through with this. Yes, any information about our enemies is invaluable, but we both have grown to fear the forest and I’m not convinced the reward outweighs the risk. I can’t tell her why that is, though, so this is happening.
“You okay?” Abby asks when she joins me at the end of the bridge where it meets the sand.
I nearly startle at her sudden appearance, which is pretty pathetic because I should have heard her coming or at least sensed her presence. The lack of sleep and our eminent trek is messing with my head.
I pull her in close to mask my discomfort. “Never better. Are you ready to head out?”
Please say no . It’s not too late for her to change her mind.
“As ready as I’m going to be.” She moves to step onto the beach but is halted when heavy footfalls sound from behind us.
“Didn’t think you were leaving without us, did you?” Seamus calls as Ellis follows close behind him. They each carry a satchel slung over a shoulder, and they definitely look more prepared for adventure than I am.
“Unless you two just wanted to embark on this suicide mission to get more alone time,” Ellis adds. “Then perhaps we should stay behind.”
“If you think it’s that dangerous, why are you here?” I don’t mean for it to come off that harsh, but I don’t want to risk anymore lives. Even if I’d feel a whole lot better knowing I had two more pairs of eyes watching the shadows.
“The danger is the reason. We’re not going to let you two face this alone. And besides, Tess would skin us alive and use our pelts as rugs if we let something happen to you.”
It takes great effort not to audibly groan. Of course Tess sent them.
“Are you sure?” Abby asks. “I don’t want anyone else to get hurt.”
The two men push passed us. “Give us a little credit,” Ellis teases. “We can turn into wolves anytime we want now. How amazing is that?”
I let the question hang. They wouldn’t like my answer. Since my people arrived in Marein, it’s become apparent how many of them are actually enjoying the control they have over their beasts. Even the sirens have grown used to wolves running up and down the beaches, even if they still don’t trust them.
I might very well be the only one who doesn’t enjoy it. It’s an asset when I need the strength of teeth and claw, but my humanity is too high a cost.
The walk feels far longer than it should. Even with streams of light seeping in through the leaves, the forest is dark. The shadows are harmless, but in each of them I feel a wraith waiting for me to wander too close. My eyes have played tricks on me more than once already, and I’m really starting to question my sanity.
We’ve been walking for hours, following the only direction Aurelia could give us. When asked where we could find the Spider’s cave, all she could tell us was that it was to the north-east and that we would smell it when we were close. What she meant by that, I can’t be sure.
Or, at least, I couldn’t be sure. All at once, it assaults my nostrils. “Do you smell that?” I ask, wrinkling my nose against the unmistakable scent of rotting flesh.
“Smell what?” Abby asks as she tilts her head back and sniffs at the wind. I envy her human nose.
“You don’t want to know,” Seamus answers. “I’m sure you’ll smell it soon enough.”
I stop and set my bag down on the soft earth. It must have rained last night because although the ground isn’t muddy, it’s certainly not dry and very much not ideal for sleeping. “We’ll make camp here. Any closer and we’ll have to put up with that all night. At least when we have the fire going, the smoke should cover it.”
If we can get a fire going. The wood is likely as wet as the ground.
Before I can even suggest it, Abby crouches down and presses her hands flat against the earth. The marks on her skin glow—just as the one on my chest does—and the forest seems to come alive. I can feel the energy pulsating like a steady heartbeat through the rose on my chest, and once again, I’m in absolute awe of the woman who chose me.
The structures of root and vine she builds out of nothing seem to come easier this time. They’re larger and more defined. It doesn’t take her nearly as long to finish them as it did that first time that now feels like a lifetime ago.
Seamus whistles. “Show off. Where were you when we were roughing it to Marein? My back still hasn’t forgiven me, though sleeping as a wolf certainly made it easier.” It didn’t even occur to me that they might have traveled as wolves. All except for Kaylee, of course. She’s more human than all of us now.
Thinking about my people spending their days as wolves has a shiver running down my spine. I’m responsible for that curse. I’m the one who turned them into beasts. The idea that they’ve found joy in that reality should ease some of my guilt, but for whatever reason, it’s doing the opposite. Maybe they can let go, but I can’t.
“So,” Ellis says, already tracing the outline for a fire pit with his foot. “Who’s hungry?”
I awake in a cold sweat.
It’s dark. Too dark.
The fire has gone out, just as it did the last time Abby and I spent a night like this together, but something has changed. She’s right here next to me, snoring softly and seeming relatively at ease in her slumber for the first time in recent weeks. I, on the other hand, am struggling.
It wasn’t a dream that woke me, which is also surprising since my dreams have been the issue since the night the curse broke. It’s fitting that my first dreamless night would be ruined by the sound of distant wraiths screaming. I doubt Abby would hear them if she were awake. Even I have to strain to pick up their cries on the wind, but the feeling they bring with them is impossible to ignore.
The invisible sword dangling above my head spins rapidly, teasing and taunting me. There’s something off about it tonight. There’s almost a lure to it. A need to follow the screams and allow the wraiths to lead me to the nearest rift.
And then I realize why I feel the urge to follow them.
Answers . That’s the entire point of this Gods awful trek through the forest I once called home.
If there are wraiths, then there has to be a rift nearby. If I could just find it, I’d know for sure if my life is truly at risk or if this has all been in my head. There’s a very good chance that what Jade did that night wiped the slate clean. My anxieties might be just that. Anxieties.
Before I even realize what I’m doing, I slip out from under Abby’s arm and quietly make my way out of our shelter and away from camp. I’m almost surprised that neither Seamus nor Ellis wake—and part of me wishes they would.
This is the last thing I should be doing. If the wraiths are after my soul, then why the fuck am I moving towards them?
It’s a rhetorical question because I know the answer. It all comes back to Evan. Evan, who appeared to me in the veil and apparently sealed my fate. Evan, who told me to live for Abby. Evan, who is only gone because of me.
I’ve only been walking for about ten minutes when I find it. The rift is smaller than the one we’d found on our way to Marein, and more importantly—it’s empty.
For just a briefest of moments, an unbelievable weight lifts from my shoulders only to come crashing down with greater force when I spot my brother walking towards me on the other side of the rift.
And he looks pissed.
He points in my direction, eyes hard and jaw tight. When his lips move, I don’t miss the two silent words that escape them. “Go back.”
“No,” I tell him. “No, you told me I could live for her. Tell me how!”
If anyone could see me now, they’d think me mad. Shouting into a shimmer of mist at the brother I murdered.
He shakes his head and points again back the way I’d come. “Go back. Now.”
Before I can argue, he turns away from me and disappears into the murky blackness.
“Quinn?”
I whip around to find Abby staring at me. Gods, how much had she seen?
Before I can answer her, a wraith screams and it’s much closer than the cries I’d heard before. My heart slams against my chest, threatening to crack each and every one of my ribs with each panicked flutter. My feet move faster than I can think and the next thing I know, Abby’s hand is in mine and I’m dragging her away from the rift and back to camp.
She must sense the terror I can no longer keep from her because she doesn’t utter a single word in protest as she does her best to keep pace beside me. I can feel her through the bond, but her reassuring caress does nothing against the knowledge that I’m still going to die. Nothing has changed and at any moment, this world could rip me away from her. And worse than that, the wraiths will devour my soul. There will be no afterlife for Abby and I to share. No second chance that she and I might find each other again.
I all but throw myself into the shelter and have to fight to pull air into my lungs. Abby’s warm hands are on my face, and warmer words fill my ears.
“It’s okay,” she tells me. “You’re okay.” I don’t know how many times she says it, but her words bounce across my mind. Each time a wraith cries, Abby’s soothing words follow its chilling shriek. Only when I can breathe again does she release me.
We stay like that for what could be minutes or hours. It might even be days, for all I know.
Only when she speaks again am I able to come back to the here and now. “Are you going to tell me what happened?”
No, I can’t. I know this is the time I should come clean, but I can’t tell her now. I don’t want her to feel this. “I just went out for some air and found the rift.” My voice sounds strange even to me, and I can’t begrudge her the suspicion in her eyes.
“You were talking to someone. Was it Evan?”
If she has to ask, then she didn’t see him. “I was trying to. I called to him, but he never showed.” The lie tastes sour on my tongue.
She sighs and takes my hand in hers. Our interlocked fingers are a beautiful thing. “Your skin is like ice. Even in that snowstorm, you didn’t feel this cold.”
“I’m probably just coming down with something.” The lies are coming too easy. “I just need to sleep.”
I’ll be getting no sleep tonight.