Chapter 36
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
QUINN
W e camped in the same place we did the last time we came to this cave, though this time we aren’t sleeping under the stars. Abby made sure of that. Even with dark revelations still swirling in my mind, the beauty of Abby’s magic pierces the despair. She’s getting so good at it now. What used to take her solid minutes to coax roots and vines to grow and merge into a small shelter now takes far less than that—and the shelter she produced this time is significantly more impressive.
It’s more than twice the size of any she has built before, and I don’t have a single complaint about its construction. Even if I had a week in the forest, I wouldn’t have been able to build something as protected from the elements as this. It could storm right now and I bet even with a torrential downpour, not a drop of water would find a way through the intricately woven leaves and branches.
It took me a bit to start the fire despite the bone-dry wood she summoned. I’ll have to brush up on my survival skills before we go to war. It’s been far too convenient having the dragons at our disposal, but who knows how many of us will survive this. If Void is successful in freeing whatever army lingers between our worlds, we might already be dead. I should probably go hunting with the wolves, too. As much as I hate being in that form, it’s always been the monster that killed. I’ve never hunted as me, and with what’s just beyond the horizon, I should be prepared for all outcomes. It does no good to survive a war, only to starve afterwards.
The siren boy’s laugh draws my attention back to the kids. Fern and Vik—I’ve finally bothered to learn his name—sit together near the fire. Fern is still in her wolf form, and even though they can’t communicate like this, they seem to understand each other just fine. I’ve watched this friendship blossom from the day my people arrived in Marein, and hope blooms in my chest that this is a good omen for all of our futures. If these two children can become the best of friends despite the distrust of the adults around them, then maybe we can learn, too.
I chance a glance at Abby, but she’s still too lost in that book to notice. She’s seated just inside the shelter and far enough away from the flames that I don’t understand how she can even see the words on the page. My grandmother’s writing was hard enough to read in sunlight, never mind the shadows of twilight.
‘What?’ The question she shoots through the bond is sharp, but I know it’s out of frustration with her reading rather than annoyance with me. ‘ I can feel you staring.’ So I guess she did notice.
‘I’m just wondering how you’re reading in the dark.’
She flips to the next page and ever so slightly tilts the book downward so I can see the faint glow emanating from her chest. I look down, expecting to see the matching glow on my own chest, but all I see is fur. For just a moment, I’d almost forgotten what form I was in and I’m not certain if that’s a good thing or not. At least I’m not in the thralls of a panic attack and leaving her alone with two kids who would very likely chase after me.
But then again, so would she.
‘Is there anything interesting in that book?’ I should read it myself instead of asking. This is my family, my history, but I’m afraid of what else I’ll find in there. Knowing that my mother didn’t betray her people is more than enough for me. She was told to leave to protect the future that was being weaved. Her part in all of this was making sure that Kaylee would live long enough to finish what was started. My heart breaks at the thought of my mother knowing what Kaylee was meant to be and the devastation when she realized something was wrong. Kaylee couldn’t weave because part of her lived within another. Even then, my mother died in Rosewood rather than return to her home because she was exactly where she was supposed to be.
That knowledge does little to quell the anger and heartbreak, but at least she had the choice. Even if I still believe she made the wrong one.
Abby sighs and flips another page, more aggressively this time. ‘There’s plenty interesting, but nothing useful. Nothing we don’t already know.’
I’m surprised she can even make sense of it. We’ll give the book to Kaylee when we make it back and hopefully she’ll see something we can’t. If we could carry all the books back, we would, but I’d rather not have a riot of sirens demanding to read how many times their futures were changed. I imagine more than one person got fucked over along the way. That must be why only the weaver is meant to read these tomes. It’s impossible to avoid all loss and in the end, there’s always someone who gets hurt.
Abby slams the book shut and tosses it on the bed of grass that’s already calling to me but likely won’t get much use from me tonight. Even when Abby and the children settle in for the night, I plan on keeping watch. The last time we slept here, I woke up alone. I’m not about to risk that again.
I watch as she moves the short distance from the shelter to the fire and crouches down behind the kids. Her voice is low, but I hear it as well as if she were right next to me. “It’s time for you two to get to bed.”
Fern whines and Vik seems even less thrilled by the idea of sleep.
“It’s getting late and we’re leaving as soon as the sun rises.” As soon as I can shake off the wolf. She doesn’t say it, but I know that’s what she means. “Your mother must be worried sick,” Abby says to Vik before turning her gaze to Fern. “And Tess is going to be furious when we get back. You’re lucky we’re not taking you back tonight.”
There’s more grumbling from the kids as they make their way to the shelter. Abby stands by the flames, arms crossed tightly as she watches them go. I can’t help but laugh and her beautifully sharp gaze snaps to me.
‘What? Could you have done better?’
I stand from where I’d been resting at the edge of camp and move to her side. ‘Not a chance. I’m surprised they listened to you.’
‘Then why are you laughing at me?’
That does nothing but draw another laugh out of me and I have to dodge her hand as she moves to swat me. ‘I’m not laughing at you. You’re just good with them. That’s all.’
‘ So are you,’ she says, and there’s something in her tone that has me turning fully towards her. ‘I’ve watched the way you spar with Fern. You use sticks, but you’re not playing with her. You’re teaching her the skills you’re terrified she might need one day. You let her train with me even though there’s no chance we’re letting her near this fight. I know you think you’re letting Tess raise her, but you’re just as much a parent to that girl as she is.’
Her words bring back a memory I’ve long been trying to forget. ‘Don’t say that. I killed her parents. I nearly killed her.’
‘And you stepped up. You’ve been there for her every day since.’
It’s been less than a minute since Fern and Vik settled into their beds next to each other and already the soft sound of snoring floats on the wind.
‘I haven’t.’ Abby didn’t know me then. She’s seen the monster, but she didn’t know it. She didn’t see me hide in the forest, even on the rare occasions I shifted back early. She doesn’t understand how many days and nights I spent in that cave behind the waterfall. How many times I let my people believe I was running through the forest on four legs when really I was slinking away on two.
‘Yes, you have. Even while you were away, you made sure she—and everyone else—was safe. You’ve always put your people first. Now you’re doing the same for Marein. But I’m not going to let you get away with that tonight.’
I don’t need to ask what she means. Of course, she already knows that I’m planning to stay awake all night while they sleep. Sometimes I think she knows me better than I know myself. I could try to deny it, but I promised her the truth always. ‘I’m afraid of what I’ll wake up to.’
‘You’ll wake up to us. Perfectly safe in the beds beside you. What I said to those kids applies to you, too. We need you at your best in the morning, and that’s not going to happen if you stay up all night.’
I shake my head. As much as I want to listen to her, we’ve both lost ourselves in a dream and woken alone in the forest. ‘You can’t know that. Someone has to—’
‘That someone doesn’t have to be you. I’ve got it covered.’
What? No, there’s no way I’m letting her stay up all night. Before I can object, she crouches down and lays her hands flat against the soil. The rose on her chest glows brighter, as do all the gold vines that decorate her arms. The ground shakes softly as something stirs beneath our feet. Vines spring from the earth and as they grow, they weave together as they encircle the camp.
‘A fence?’ I pace along the edge of it, inspecting it as I did the shelter. It looks sturdy enough, but… ‘Are you sure this will be enough? I could climb over this without issue.’ If I was feeling cocky, I would have said that I could jump over it, but realistically, it might be just a bit too high for that. I don’t have a doubt that I could make it over, though.
‘It’s not meant to keep us in.’ My blood runs cold at her words. She must have felt my shiver through the bond because she continues. ‘It’s not meant to keep anything out, either.’
‘Then what good is it?’ I don’t say it harshly, and I know she doesn’t take it that way. The whole point of a fence is to keep something in or out.
‘Touch it.’ I don’t know what she means at first, but then she runs a hand along the side of it. ‘Touch it.’
I don’t have hands at the moment, so I brush my body against it. She trembles slightly as her face twists into a smile. It’s almost as if…
‘That tickles,’ she laughs.
My eyes go wide. ‘You can feel me? Through the vines?’
She nods. ‘I realized it that first time I built a shelter. When you and I, you know.’ I laugh, because I do know. I’ll never forget when she slipped her vines around me and held me still while she brought me to the edge again and again and then we came together in the shelter she’d built. ‘It’s only when I first create them. As long as I don’t disconnect myself, they’re still a part of me. I just wish I’d thought of it sooner.’
She’s brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
‘Have I told you today that I love you?’
Her smile widens and I don’t miss that she strokes the ring on her finger. ‘ You never have to.’
It was an uneventful morning, just as it was an uneventful night. As far as we can tell, no one tried to leave camp and, just as Abby predicted, I woke up to her sleeping soundly beside me and the kids snoring softly in their beds. As much as I don’t want to let myself feel hopeful, I can’t deny that waking up like that was is something I could get used to.
The only thing I would change myself. I much prefer waking as a man rather than a beast.
We’ve been walking for about four hours now along the beach and should arrive at Marein soon. The closer we get, the more I fear that we should have journeyed through the night. Tess will understand, but Vik’s parents? I have less hope for them. Our relationship with the sirens is still tentative at best, and if anyone thinks we kidnapped their kid—
I lose the thought entirely as Abby doubles over, clutching at her head. I’m by her side in seconds. “What’s wrong?”
She groans, but the unease washing down our bond tells me that this isn’t just a headache. Fern whimpers further down the beach where she and Vik were playing in the water ahead of us. “It’s the wolves. Too many eyes at once.”
Even if they all shifted, she wouldn’t be seeing through their eyes unless they let her. And if they’re all forcing their vision on her, something is definitely wrong.
I rub small circles on her back. “It’s okay. Focus on one.”
“I can’t,” she gasps at the same time Fern yelps.
Fuck, I should just shift, but until we know what this is, I need to be able to talk to everyone, and I can’t do that as a wolf. I can see Vik trying to comfort Fern, but the shake of her head and tremble through her body tells me that she’s just as overwhelmed. Me shifting wouldn’t stop that. But Abby can.
“You can,” I tell her. “You control them. Pinpoint Ellis and focus on his eyes.” He’ll be the most coherent. “You’ve got this.”
She groans again, her teeth clenched and eyes shut tight in concentration. And then her body relaxes. Her eyes are the same gorgeous blue as always, but there’s a faraway look to them now. Even Fern has stilled.
“Oh, no.” Abby’s eyes refocus and then she’s running.
I’m faster than she is, so I easily match her pace. Fern runs at our heels and I don’t worry about Vik, because he’ll be faster than us in the water. “Talk to me, Stabby.”
“He’s awake.”
“Already?!”
“He’s hurt someone. The sirens—oh, Gods. They’re going to kill him.”
My heart threatens to break at the thought of that someone being Tess. I don’t bother peeling off my shirt or loosening my pants before I shift mid-run. Abby’s going to be pissed about this later, but I’m not going to be responsible for yet another monster.
‘Hold on!’ I shout down the bond before I loop around behind her.
‘To what?’ She screams when I run between her legs and swoop her onto my back. I’m smaller than a horse, but this will have to fucking do. Her hands grab fistfuls of fur around my neck, all the while shooting mental curses at me. Even with Abby’s weight, I’m faster than Fern, which is a good thing, because the last thing we need is her getting mixed up in this.
‘Where are they?’ We shouldn’t have left him inside the city. None of the others turned so quick. There was always time to get them outside. Always time to explain this. But if he’s lost himself to the wolf, no one is safe.
‘The beach. He followed the wolves out.’
I’ll have to remember to thank Ellis for that. There’s a reason he stepped up after we lost Ruben.
I reach out for the wolves and find my connection blocked. It must be whatever Abby did to stop the onslaught of eyes and the reason Fern stopped seeing them. ‘Let me in,’ I tell Abby, and immediately the block crumbles.
I see through their eyes—at least sixteen pairs—but I have more experience than this than Abby. I recognize the grey shimmer of Ellis and latch on until his are the only eyes I see through aside from my own. ‘Get him as far from the city as you can. We’re coming.’
Ellis’s voice floods my mind. ‘On it.’ His gaze shifts as he turns in our direction. I recognize all of the wolves except for one. Ty’s wolf is a light brown, almost sand colour. It’s not his colouring that has him standing out from the rest. It’s the red eyes that tell me he’s not him .
Right now, he’s nothing but the monster I used to be. The monster I’m terrified of becoming again. I reach for him, but there’s no connecting to a mind that isn’t open. There’s only one way to get through to him now.
There’s movement in the water to Ellis’s left as six sirens with spears and blades rush up from the waves and spill onto the beach. There’s malice in their stares, and they aren’t focused solely on Ty.
Abby gasps and I know she sees it too. Feels it too. The fear of realizing you’re not the hunter. You’re the prey.
And for Abby, she’s seeing a whole new side to this. This is just like the Lunar Hunt she endured month after month, only this time, she knows the truth. That these wolves are people and she’ll mourn the ones we lose.
But I won’t let that happen. I won’t lose anyone else.
We’re close enough that I can just make them out in the distance. I can still stop this.
‘You need to get off my back,’ I tell Abby and immediately feel the refusal in her body as she tightens her grip.
‘I’m not letting you go into that alone!’
‘You have to trust me. I can stop this.’ She curses and I take it as agreement. ‘When I tell you, let go and roll left. You’ll be fine.’
‘I trust you.’ I feel her words as much as hear them.
If I could stop, I would, but there’s no time . ‘Now!’ I tell her as I slow my pace just enough that she won’t fly backwards the second she lets go. She collides with the beach beside me, but the sand breaks her fall. There’s no telltale snapping of bone, but I have to be sure. ‘Are you alright?’
‘I’m fine. Worry about yourself.’
Point taken.
My paws dig into the sand as I propel myself forward. I’m not going to let anyone else die because of me. Because of what that witch made me. I let the anger fill me until I feel it all the way down to the marrow in my bones, but instead of losing myself to it, I harness it.
A siren raises their spear to Seamus, but I lunge between them, knocking the spear off target. It cuts into my left shoulder, but it’s barely deep enough to leave a scar.
The sirens jump back, surprised by my sudden appearance. They didn’t hear me coming. No one ever does.
Their attention is on me now, but I only need seconds. The fur on my back rises with the knowledge of six spears aimed at me, but I aim my attack for Ty. I collide into him, knocking him down and sending him sliding in the sand.
‘Get back!’ I tell all the wolves and they scatter, leaving only Ty and I within range of the weapons. I chance a glance at the sirens and see Erwyn among them. Of course, he’d be part of this. What’s surprising is that he’s not trying to drive his blade into my side, even though he’s close enough to get a clean shot.
“Back up!” He tells the men and women with him. They hesitate, but obey. Erwyn doesn’t move, but as long as he’s not trying to kill anyone, he can stand where he wants.
Ty clambers to his feet and shakes off the impact. He circles me and I let him because as long as he’s focused on me, no one is going to die today. Except perhaps whoever he injured before it came to this.
‘This is my fight,’ I say. It’s as much for Abby as it is for the wolves. I hear their growls and the snapping of anxious jaws as sharply as I hear Abby’s frantic breaths as she races up the beach towards us.
‘Don’t you dare!’ Abby forces the words into my mind just before I shut them all out and give myself over to the wolf.