12. Chapter Twelve
We”ve been at the club for almost two hours now and I have way too much rum in my system from all the drinks I”ve had while talking with Nate.
Speaking of Nate, he”s currently standing behind me with his arms wrapped firmly around my waist while we watch Connor and Matt in the makeshift fighting ring. Nate”s leaning down so that his mouth is next to my ear, whispering to me about what”s happening in front of us. Even though I”m watching too, I”m glad he”s commentating because I”m way too distracted to focus on the fact that Connor is annihilating Matt.
Nate”s breath keeps tickling my ear and my neck every time he speaks. His thumb is softly rubbing against the underside of my boob, and I”m positive that he knows exactly how much he”s affecting me right now.
I haven”t felt this kind of thrill in forever and I”ve certainly not enjoyed the feeling of someone else”s touch in so long. It’s weird, but I’m enjoying it too much at the moment to think.
Nate”s actions, along with the alcohol coursing through my veins and the fact that I saw Ryker earlier, have me desperately wanting a release. I”m just not sure if I can go any further than this without freaking out. It”s been so long since I”ve actually wanted and enjoyed the touch of someone else and I”m not sure how to go ahead.
”This is it, right here. This is where Connor is gonna drop Matt on his ass and win.” The rumble of Nate”s chest as he speaks into my ear has my body involuntarily shivering.
He tightens his arms around me, drawing me closer to him just as Connor punches in with an uppercut. Matt falls back and collapses onto the ground whilst Connor stands above him, breathing heavily and clenching his fists. Cheering ensues, the bell is rung, and then the lights go down as music starts up at a low volume, humming through the speakers.
My eyes fall away from my brothers as Nate steals my attention again, gently kissing the side of my neck. I bite my bottom lip to keep the sounds of enjoyment within myself, and I lean back, squashing myself impossibly closer to him.
My body and my mind are internally arguing with each other. My body is telling my mind that I want this, need this right now. But my mind is telling my body that I’m not ready for the next step. I hear Nate’s breathing hitch at the same time I feel his dick hardening against my back, making its presence known.
I smirk, glad I”m not the only one who”s turned on by being this close to each other. He continues to kiss down my neck, reaching my collarbone and then making his way back up.
”You taste amazing. So addictive.” My eyes flutter open, not even realising I”d closed them, and my gaze is captured by swirling brown eyes that are watching us from a few feet away. A quiet moan slips past my lips as I stare into Brad”s hungry eyes and Nate nibbles on my earlobe.
His arms loosen around my waist and one of his hands takes hold of mine, snapping my connection with Brad, before he drags me through the crowd that”s dancing to the hum of music.
”Where are you taking me?” My heart is beating out of my chest, a mix of fear and excitement. He drags me around a corner into the hallway that leads to the stock rooms and pushes me against the wall, pressing his body into mine.
”I wanted someplace quiet to go so that I can hear you moaning in my ear whilst I make you cum all over my fingers.” My breathing stalls and my pussy pulses in anticipation as my belly swirls with nervous butterflies.
My brain is practically screaming at me to stop, but I want this so badly right now. I want to do something that a normal girl at my age would do with a guy that she likes. His hand finds the hem of my dress and his lips connect with my neck again, slow strokes of his fingers, gradually making their way higher and higher. My insecurities rear their head at that moment, and I widen my stance, angling my leg so that his fingers trace the inside of my thigh where there are no scars.
Nate smirks against my neck and pulls back, bringing his face in front of mine, so close our lips brush against each other.
”You want this?” A smile makes its way onto my face, happy that he”s asking and making sure I”m comfortable. I may have moved my leg so that he wouldn”t discover the scars, but he took that as a green go sign that I wanted more and right now, I do want more, so it was a good move. I nod at him, telling him silently that I want this. He tuts before pecking my lips.
”I need to hear the words, Callie. Tell me you want this as much as I do right now.” He”s staring at me intently, eyes pooled with desire and his fingers are running up and down the inside of my thigh from my knee up to the apex of my thigh, teasing me and making me wetter than I have been in years.
”Yes, Nate, I want this.” He smirks, diving forward and connecting his lips to mine in a slow and sensual kiss. I wrap my arms around his shoulders, my hands delving into the curly locks of hair at the back of his head. He groans into my mouth, and then his fingers are slipping my underwear to the side.
His finger grazes over me, and I moan into his mouth.
”You”re so fucking wet, baby.” The kiss grows hungry as his fingers glide through my wetness, trailing up to my clit and sending a jolt of pleasure through me before his finger retreats down, circling my entrance.
He pulls back to look at my face as his finger slowly slips inside me. I gasp and my hands brush through his hair as his finger slips in and out at a steady pace. His mouth goes back to my neck, sucking and biting as his finger pumps into me.
”Mmm, so tight as well.” He hums against my neck, biting down. That’s when my body freezes, and the moment between us ends. Nate stops and draws back to look at me. He must see the panic in my eyes because he hurriedly pulls his finger out of me and takes a few steps back. I stay pressed against the wall as I bite down on the inside of my cheek to stop my mind from spiralling.
“Are you ok? Did I do something wrong?” He sounds so concerned, and it makes my heart drop into my stomach.
He thinks he’s in the wrong when he’s not. I’m the problem. I’m broken. I can’t even enjoy myself with a guy that I’ve started to like because disgusting men have destroyed my mind and my body. My bottom lip trembles as I stare at Nate. I shake my head, and I can see the relief start to seep into his features.
“You didn’t do anything, I promise. I’m sorry.” He steps towards me but a shrill ringing sound halts his movements. The noise stops for a few seconds and then starts up again.
He lifts an arm, his hand cupping the back of his neck as he gives me a soft smile. ”Are you gonna get that?” My eyebrows raise in confusion and that”s when I realise the noise is coming from my phone.
”Shit, shit, shit.” I yank my phone out of the pocket in my jacket, still cursing myself inside my head, not only for not realising that my phone was ringing but also because of what I just did with Nate. I answer the call without even checking who”s calling.
”Callie, you need to leave. Derek”s on his way back. You have about forty minutes!”
The phone call ends before my brain can properly compute what Uncle Johnny said. I curse again and quickly shove my phone back into my pocket, straightening out my rumpled dress and turning to walk back down the hallway.
That’s when I remember Nate”s still standing in front of me, looking nervous and fidgeting on his feet.
”I”m sorry, Nate, I have to go. But we”ll talk later or something okay?” I go to rush past him but he grabs hold of my arm, lightly pulling me towards him. I face him and he looks at me, concerned.
”Are you sure you’re okay, Princess?” He glances over at the wall where I was just leaning, the place I was standing when his finger was inside me. Shit. I step towards him and kiss him on the cheek.
”I”m fine, we”re fine. I was enjoying it, and I wish I didn”t have to go, but I really need to.” He nods and leans down to give me a peck on the forehead before he releases my arm.
I jog away from him, panic engulfing me because of Johnny”s words but also due to the situation with Nate.
I can”t believe I let someone touch me, and I enjoyed it. I”m not even sure why I”m panicking about it, I should be glad because after having Fraser rape me continuously for the past two years, I thought I”d never be able to enjoy anything sexual ever again, but I just did.
Maybe I”m less broken than I thought I was. Clearly, there was still something wrong with me because although I was glad, I still panicked when he bit me after telling me how tight I was.
I rush through the club, towards the darkened narrow hallway that leads out of this place. Forty minutes isn”t a lot of time for us to get back home before my dad. It takes almost half an hour to drive home from here, and I don”t know how much time I”ve wasted since Johnny called.
I push through the door that leads to the car park and crash into someone”s solid back. I look up to see Ryker staring back at me with that usual glint in his sparkling blue eyes.
”Don”t worry, I know you have to go. I won”t keep you, just wanted to say that I”ll be hiding out at the outhouse in the back of Mum”s garden, just in case you need me at any point.” He walks backwards, staring at me as I stand there glued to the spot. My brain is being so slow tonight because as he reaches a black car in the middle of the car park, his words only just hit me. Ryker”s going to be just a few houses down, staying with his mum... I haven”t seen Jasmine since a couple of weeks after Ryker left two years ago.
She was like a second mum to me when we were younger, but after my Mum left and we”d read that letter, we tried to go see Jasmine about it but Dad wouldn”t let us see her or Ryker.
After a few months, we managed to get around there but she wouldn”t tell us anything. Told us she couldn”t. It caused tension between her and Ryker because Ryker didn”t like that his mum was keeping damning secrets from us. When Ryker disappeared, I”d gone around there multiple times, banging on the door, begging for Jasmine to let me in and tell me where Ryker was but she never did. Not until the last time I went.
I was banging on the door, and at first, there was no answer like usual, so I went to go and look over the side gate, but then the front door swung open and there stood Jasmine with her hair piled on top of her head, some rumpled pyjamas and she had big black bags underneath her eyes and tears threatening to run down her cheeks.
She told me that she didn”t know where Ryker was or what had happened. She didn”t even know if he was alive. She”d spoken so quietly that I had to walk closer to her to hear her properly. She fell apart after she finished talking, and all I could do was cuddle her and cry with her.
She asked me not to come back because it was too upsetting for her. I accepted that and never went back.
I did have Uncle Johnny check up on her once a week so that I knew she was okay. And she let Johnny know when Ryker had contacted her, so then we both stopped worrying about if he was dead or not.
I mainly kept my distance from her because two weeks after Ryker left, that same day that she”d fallen apart in my arms, was when I turned eighteen. And the night after my 18th birthday was the first night that I had to be Fraser”s little plaything.
I knew that if I saw Jasmine after that, I”d break. I”d end up telling her and I couldn”t put her in danger like that. So, I stopped going there, cut all contact and haven”t seen her since. I haven”t even caught a glimpse of her even though she only lives down the street. I thought she”d moved, but clearly not.