21 - THE TOUR
Lacey
Derek Harrington didn't do late. Ever. I was almost certain he had more than a touch of OCD.
"Dr. Lacey! Dr. Lacey! I made this for you!"
I dropped to one knee as she skidded to a stop in front of me, breathless, thrusting a folded piece of paper forward with both hands.
I opened it carefully. A crayon drawing: a heart with wings, a stethoscope looping around it in purple crayon, two figures holding hands beneath a rainbow.
One tall in a white coat. One small with a ponytail.
"It's us," she announced. "Fixing hearts and flying. It's like your stethoscope!"
My chest tightened in the best possible way. "Jess. This is incredible." I folded it like it was precious and tucked it into my coat pocket. "I'm putting this one right in the middle, above my desk. That's the most important spot."
She threw her arms around my neck, fierce and sudden. She smelled like strawberry shampoo and that warm indefinable scent of children. I closed my eyes for just a second and held on. Pure sweet bliss.
"Daddy said we get the magic tour today," she said against my shoulder. "Can I touch everything?"
I pulled back and looked at her face. Those bright, serious eyes, the flush of excitement in her cheeks. "You can touch almost everything," I said. "Deal?"
"Deal!"
Derek had crossed the lobby while we were hugging. He stood a few feet back, giving us the moment without crowding us. Dark jeans, buttoned-up shirt, no jacket or tie. His slate-gray eyes met mine when I looked up.
"Bonds," he said. "Thanks for making time. You look ready for anything today."
"Always, Mr. Harrington." I stood and smoothed my white coat. "Jessica, ready to see some seriously cool stuff?"
She bounced on her toes, sneakers flashing. "Yes! Can I see the heart machine? The beep-beep one?"
Derek rested a hand on her shoulder, gentle and firm. "Easy, Jess. Let Dr. Bonds lead." He glanced at me, the corner of his mouth lifting just slightly. "She's been talking about this since Monday."
"I've been looking forward to it too," I said.
He looked slightly puzzled at that, like it hadn't occurred to him I might mean it. I nodded at Jessica, who was already reaching for my hand. "She's my favorite. I'll never tell the others."
He laughed then, brief and surprised. "Well, I knew it wasn't because you enjoy spending time with me."
I reached over and touched his arm without thinking. Muscular under the shirt, solid. I'd never let myself notice that before. "You're not so bad, Derek. You just need to listen to the doctor." I turned toward the corridor before he could respond. "Come on. Let me show you what your money built."
The pediatric wing would be opening in three weeks, the thing I'd fought for in budget meetings three years running.
Wide bright hallways, murals on every wall, a giraffe in a stethoscope, somewhere for a scared kid's eyes to go that wasn't the fluorescent lights and the closed doors.
My pride and joy. The kind of place that made the brutal hours feel like they had a point.
We started in the welcome lobby, where a row of touchscreens let kids build virtual hearts, adding chambers and valves like brightly colored digital blocks.
Jessica's eyes went enormous. "Whoa. Can I try?"
"Go for it."
She planted herself at the nearest screen and tapped with intense focus, adding sparkles, a rainbow, a star on each ventricle. The virtual heartbeat quickened on the screen in response, glowing pink and gold.
Derek stood with his arms crossed, watching her, the faint smile settling warmer. "She's obsessed with this stuff. Tells everyone she's going to be a heart doctor when she grows up."
"She's got the right instincts for it," I said. "Curiosity and stubbornness. That's most of what the job requires."
He glanced sideways at me, and something moved in his expression, quick, unguarded, then gone. "She comes by stubbornness honestly."
Jessica looked up, triumphant. "Look, Daddy! I made a heart with sparkles and wings! Like Dr. Lacey's charm!"
He moved to her immediately, crouching to her level, his large hand resting beside hers on the screen as he pointed to the anatomy she'd accidentally gotten right.
"That's perfect, Jess. See this part? That's exactly where the pulmonary valve goes.
" His voice when he spoke to her was lower, warmer, stripped of all the edges.
"Keep pushing. Make it even bigger next time. "
She leaned into his side. "You're the best daddy ever."
He ruffled her hair. His face, for just that moment, was completely open. "And you're the strongest girl ever. Don't you ever forget that."
I looked away and gave them the moment. When I looked back he was carefully arranging her hair again. Jessica seemed to just ignore it.
The play therapy room was sunlit, books and toys and a low padded climbing wall scaled for small bodies. Jessica made a beeline for the bin of stuffed animals and came up hugging a plush bear with a fabric bandage stitched to its chest.
"This bear has a boo-boo heart like me." She held it up for my inspection. "Is he going to be okay?"
I examined the bear with appropriate gravity. "He's got the best doctors in the building. He's going to be completely fine."
She hugged it tighter, satisfied, then looked up at the climbing wall. "Can I climb it?"
Derek moved toward the base of the wall. "Show her how strong you are, Jess."
I stepped forward. "Let's take it slow, though. Easy steps, no racing to the top."
Derek glanced at me, eyebrow lifting. "She's been climbing the stairs at home two at a time. She's been practicing. She needs to build confidence, not be smothered in bubble wrap."
"A little challenge is good for most kids," I said, keeping my voice even. "For Jessica, we work within her safe zone. The wall is low, but if she pushes past her body's signals and her sats dip—"
"Her sats are fine." His jaw tightened. "Her last reading was ninety-four at rest."
"Which is good. And I want to keep it that way."
Jessica was already at the base of the wall, looking up at the first handhold with total determination. "I can do it, Dr. Lacey. Watch."
I weighed it. The wall was padded. The floor was padded. It was designed for exactly this. And she was already committed. Pulling her back now would send a message that her body was a cage rather than a tool.
"Okay," I said. "Slow steps. Daddy stays right below you."
She started climbing, giggling with each handhold, sneakers finding purchase. Derek stood directly beneath her, hands up and ready, eyes tracking every movement. "That's it, Jess. One more. You've got it."
She made it halfway up, then paused. Her breathing had changed, the rhythm slightly faster, her cheeks flushing pink. She grinned down at us, delighted with herself. "See? I did it!"
I was watching the portable monitor clipped to my coat pocket. Sats at ninety-two, trending down.
"That's amazing, Jess. You're so strong. Come on down, easy now."
Derek looked at the monitor, then at me. "She's—"
"She's breathing harder." I kept my voice calm, just information. "This is exactly the signal we watch for. Coming down now is the right call. It's listening to her body, not giving up."
His jaw was tight, a muscle working. I held his gaze and for once didn't look away.
Then he looked up at Jessica. "Okay, kiddo. Come on down. Dr. Bonds says that's enough for today."
She pouted for exactly two seconds, then obeyed, sliding down into his waiting arms. He caught her and swung her once, her delighted shriek bouncing off the bright walls, then pressed a kiss to the top of her head and held her an extra moment.
"You did so well," he said against her hair. "I'm so proud of you."
"I almost got all the way to the top," she said, still slightly breathless.
"You did. And next time you'll go higher." He set her down, smoothed her ponytail. "We'll practice."
I exhaled slowly.
The imaging suite was the crown jewel of the wing.
The mock MRI tube sat in the middle of it, painted to look like a spaceship, with a control panel of buttons that lit up and made satisfying sounds.
Not the real one. The real cardiac scanner, the eight-figure machine Derek had spent the gala calling marginal gains, was still a fundraising target and a gap in the floor plan.
This was its friendly cousin, the practice tube, built so that by the time a kid needed the real thing, the tube already felt like an old friend.
"This is where we get the detailed pictures of hearts," I said. "No needles, no procedures. Just pictures."
Jessica pressed her nose to the porthole window. Her breath fogged the glass. "It's a spaceship."
"It really is. We use it to help kids practice so the real one doesn't feel scary."
"Scary? It looks like fun! Can I go in?"
"Just for pretend." I helped her climb onto the padded table and slide partly in, explaining as I went.
This is where the sounds come from, these are the lights you'll see, you can always come out whenever you want.
She reached up and pressed one of the lit buttons.
The tube made a gentle whooshing sound. She made a matching sound back at it, perfectly serious.
Derek had moved to stand beside me, watching her through the porthole. His arms were crossed but his posture had changed, the rigidity gone.
"She's fearless," he said, almost to himself.
"Well, her dad was Special Forces, so there's that," I quipped, then felt a moment of shock at myself. I'd never mentioned that.
Derek just shook his head. "No, she takes after Pamela. She was much stronger than me."
He said it offhand, the way you speak truth when your guard is down.
"She was quite a woman," I said carefully.