Chapter 56
Fifty-Six
SEBA
My phone vibrates with another unanswered demand from Sinclair. It’s been hours since Andrea whisked Cade away. I haven’t bothered reading the messages. Servitude can wait until they return.
As if on cue, the rumble of a sport bike draws me off the couch.
All frustration dissolves as I watch them through the window.
They stand next to the bike, hands grasped.
Andrea peers up at Cade with a look that shreds my heart.
It’s a look she gave me once, years ago, under the stars in the back of my truck.
I’ve caught glimpses of it over the years. A millisecond of it when I’m reckless enough to try again. And I have tried. Every time I attempt to explain myself— to loop her in— she pushes me away, refusing to hear me out. So I’ve gone about it differently.
Maybe one day she’ll look at me that way again, but for now, I’ll admire it from the outside.
Cade bends down, kissing her forehead. Her eyes close, her arms looping around his waist. A thrill hums beneath my skin.
He rakes his hand through her glossy waves.
I imagine the silky strands through my own fingers.
He tugs her head back. My fingers curl into a fist. She arches into him and the memory of her breasts pressed into my chest knocks the wind out of me.
Her lips part, dark eyes lost in his. My breath comes in quicker as he brushes his mouth over hers. My tongue tangles around air.
She smiles into his kiss.
It aches. It aches. It aches. But I can’t look away. I don’t want to. Seeing them reconnect proves that it wasn’t a blip in time. There’s a thread weaving between the three of us that transcends reason and rules.
Cade’s gaze lifts, locking on mine through the window, his lips moving against hers. Heat oozes from the cracks in my broken heart and licks down my spine. I claw at the glass.
I want to be there with them.
Where I belong.
Their kiss ends. Nose to nose, they murmur to each other until Andrea reluctantly untangles herself and straddles the bike once more. She glances at me, pausing with her helmet clutched in her pale hands.
Raw hurt stretches between us.
Let me back in, sweetheart. Please.
Her jaw clenches. She dons the helmet and tears out of the driveway, leaving a gaping hole in my heart.
“Creeping on us?”
I turn away from the window to face Cade. He’s eyeing me suspiciously.
“How is she?”
“Angry.”
I chuckle. “Sounds like our girl.”
He slinks further into the living room, maintaining a few feet of distance. Circling me. “She said you still work for Sinclair.”
“For now.”
A line forms between his brows. It vanishes as he schools a bored expression and resumes stalking around me like the predator he is. It lights me the fuck up.
“She’s gonna take him down.”
“Good.”
He pauses. Scrutinizes me. “What game are you playing, Sebastian?”
“A dangerous one.”
Surprise flashes in those bi-colored eyes. They narrow to slits. “We’re not doing this again.”
“Doing what, baby?” I murmur, encroaching on him.
His nostrils flare. “You don’t get to take what you want and leave me with nothing.”
My finger skims his arm. Shaved and so fucking soft.
“Then let me keep you.”
“And be your dirty little secret?” he hisses. “No, thanks.”
“I never said you’d be a secret.”
The air around us pulses violently. He’s seconds from snapping. I welcome his attack. Crave it. But he stubbornly keeps his vicious mouth shut. I advance. He steps back. Again and again and again, until he’s backed against the wall. I brace an arm over him as I crowd his space.
A faint whiff of Andrea’s cherry perfume fills my nose. My eyes roll back. Her scent on him is divine.
“This is your fault, you know,” I murmur, tracing the sharp line of his jaw. “This obsession. This need for you. You’re the one who seduced me. You’re the one who opened my eyes and made me feel. These are the consequences of your actions.”
He’s trembling in a mixture of rage and desire.
“If that were true, you would’ve come for me.”
“And bring you back into the same mess that could break you all over again? No. You fought too hard to get control of your mind. I wasn’t gonna risk that because I selfishly wanted you home before you were ready.”
The war waging in him plays out on his face. He desperately clings to anger, but I see it— a sliver peeking through of this all-consuming emotion that he’s reluctant to accept and I’ve already surrendered to.
“I knew you could do it. Every update Declan gave me proved it too. I’m so fucking proud of you, Cade. Beyond that. I’m in awe of you.”
“Empty words,” he snarls.
Smiling, I sigh, “God, I love your bite. Your fire. Your fight.”
He turns his face away. “You don’t deserve me.”
I lean into the crook of his neck, grazing the mark I left. “I don’t. But I won’t stop. I’ll never stop. You own me as much as I own you.”
His breath hitches. “Stop.”
“Stop what?”
“Saying shit like that,” he whispers.
I’m getting to him. I smile into his skin before peeling away to hold his gaze. “I can’t help it. You woke me up, baby.”
He squeezes his eyes shut. His head knocks against the wall.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have.”
It’s so quiet. Like a prayer not meant for my ears.
“Too late.”
Those glassy eyes bore into me again— blue and honey flames. I loosely cuff his throat, stroking the delicate skin with my thumb.
“What will it take?” I rasp. A tear sticks to his bottom lashes. My forehead comes to rest on his. “What will it take for you to trust me again?”
Another tear takes a leap of faith down his cheek.
“I don’t know if I can.”
His honesty guts me. But I’m not deterred.
“I have proof. At my apartment. Proof that everything I’ve done since you left has been for you. For both of you.”
His Adam’s apple rolls on a swallow. A choked sound escapes his throat. I breathe it in, savoring the agony. Absorbing it. Taking it on as my own. I'm the cause of it, after all.
My lips hover over his; three precious words that I've held close to my chest beg to break free.
“I know you don’t believe me, but I won’t give up on us.
Ever. You can push me away. You can fight me until I’m bleeding out.
You can deny me, run from me, hate me, break me and I’ll still be here, doing everything I can to make this world a safer, better place for you.
Because you’ve suffered enough, baby. It’s time someone takes care of you. ”
I silently press the words burning inside me to his lips.
I love you.
He’s shaking. Openly crying.
If I linger, I won’t be able to stop.
Wetness stains my own cheeks as I retreat, the weight of my invisible shackles heavier than ever.
Soon. Soon they’ll be gone and I’ll be free.
We all will.