Cade
ONE YEAR LATER
“This is scarier than the horror movies Mom thought were portals for demons.”
Below me, the crystal clear spring glitters like a turquoise pool of doom. Ok, to be fair, this was my idea. Initially. Well. Sort of my idea. More like Dr. Kat suggested it and I agreed to give it a shot if— and only if— it met my specifications.
“Baby, we can go home if you’re not ready,” Seba murmurs, kissing the back of my neck as his large hands massage my shoulders.
It feels good. Really good. Like the cool breeze and the streaks of sunshine slicing through the trees circling the quiet, natural spring.
Andrea found it last month. And I’ll admit, it checks all the boxes…
But I’m still freaking the fuck out.
“Nah, I’m not chickening out again.”
“Here, I’ll get in first,” Andrea offers, stepping off the boulder we’re perched on. My heart jumps into my throat as she wades into the shallow water until it reaches her knees. She spins around with a bright smile. “See? It’s nice!”
“I’m gonna throw up.”
Sebastian’s muscular chest presses against my bare back, his arms circling me from behind. “What if I carry you?”
I bite my lip.
Pros: Seba equals safe. He’s also tall. I can climb him to get away from the water if it tries sucking me under.
Cons: We’ll still be in the water.
Pros outnumber the cons…
“If I freak out, you’ll take me out?”
“Of course, baby,” he promises. “I’ll always take care of you.”
His words penetrate my skin like the unforgiving heat.
I watch Andrea twirl, creating ripples across the calm surface.
“Ok.”
“You sure?”
“Don’t let me change my mind,” I snap.
Suddenly, I’m swept off my feet, princess style. My entire body simultaneously locks up and trembles as he confidently steps off the shore.
“Just look at our girl.”
Andrea waves, beaming at me. “You’re doing it, babe!”
Not really. Kind of. Technically. I think.
Blue and Mom scratch at the walls of their box, shrieking to take over. I stare at Andrea while focusing on the strong, familiar arms holding me. The gentle stroke of Sebastian’s thumb against my thigh and the proud smile on our girl’s face.
“You’re gonna feel it now, baby.”
I’m safe. I’m ok. I’m safe. I’m ok.
Cold.
Wet.
“Breathe, Cade.”
Exhale. Inhale.
Safe. Ok. Safe. Ok.
It kind of feels like nothing.
“Am I…”
A low chuckle. “You are.”
I look down.
My legs are floating, but I’m still grounded in Sebastian’s arms. Water laps beneath Andrea’s bikini top, soaking the underside of her tits. I like the view. I like the way her nipples poke through the material.
I like her in the water.
It doesn’t even feel real. Maybe it’s not. Maybe I’m hallucinating.
“Stay with us, baby.”
I blink and the sensations return. The heat of Sebastian’s skin contrasted with the clear, cool nothingness. Because it definitely doesn’t feel like water. Sure, I take longer showers now— thanks to lots of sex in them. But I haven’t been submerged in water since…
This isn’t the water I remember.
It’s…
Not horrible.
“I don’t hate it.”
Andrea shrieks. “Hell yes! Look at you giving fear the middle finger!”
Lips graze my temple. “So fucking proud of you, baby.”
I’m not shy. Not by any means. But this warm, fuzzy feeling? It’s kind of making me want to bury my face in Seba’s chest, burst out laughing and possibly vomit. But it also washes away the tension. Flushes out old wounds. Erodes the rigid walls of fear.
Will the fear ever fully go away? Unlikely. Healing isn’t linear and I’ve got an ocean’s worth of trauma to navigate. But it’s a step. A really big step. So I’ll fucking take it.