Chapter 14 #2
"Oh, my God, it's so intense." I press my cheek against the wall. "You're so fucking huge."
He groans and his pace picks up. His grip tightens on my hips, pulling me back onto him with every thrust. He's an animal, taking what he wants without apology, and every few seconds he bites and sucks my skin, soothing it with the pass of his tongue when I yelp.
"Harder," I tell him.
He snaps his hips forward and the force drives me into the wall.
I brace one hand against the plaster and push back into him.
Every thrust hits deeper and the burn has turned into pure pleasure now, this dark rolling heat that builds until I'm gasping and groaning, unable to make an intelligent sound.
And I keep rubbing my clit, so close to the edge I might lose control any second.
"Oh, my God, Oh, my God!" I pant, and he growls against my shoulder.
"I know," he says, "let go."
My whole body detonates. The orgasm rips through me from my core outward, different than the first, pulling from a place I didn't know existed.
My walls clench and release in violent pulses while my legs shake.
A scream tears out of me that comes with drool and cursing.
I'm sobbing through every wave while he keeps fucking me so hard, I may not walk tomorrow.
When Kazimir groans my name, I know he's done. His hips slam forward and he buries himself deep. Then I feel him pulse inside me in long, hot surges that keep coming. Tiny grunts of pleasure bubble up and out as he pumps more slowly, pushing my aftershocks, making me twitch.
Then his forehead drops against my shoulder and his arms lock around my waist while he empties himself. I feel every hot pulse of his dick and let my body relax a little. It doesn't hurt at all anymore. All that stretching and burning has resolved to so much pleasure, I don't want him to stop.
But he starts to go soft, and then he pulls out and turns me around, capturing my lips with his.
His hands stay splayed on the wall on either side of my head while I wrap my arms around him and I'm lost in him.
In this moment. In everything I crave and desire out of life and I know I can't have because I want it with him.
"Feel good?" he asks, nipping my lower lip.
"Incredible," I tell him, and I don’t have to fake that. That was the best sex of my life.
"Wait right there," he whispers before kissing me again. Then he disappears into the bathroom and I hear the faucet run.
I walk on wobbly legs to the bed and turn the covers down.
It's cold as I slip between the sheets, still feeling the buzz of afterglow.
Kazimir isn't just good at sex, though I'm not complaining about his ability to make me feel incredible.
He's also warm and funny, and that line about John Dryden wrecked me.
I lie down and let my eyes shut as a grin stretches over my face.
When he comes back, he's cleaned up and his hands are warm and damp. He climbs into bed beside me and pulls me against his chest, fingers pushing the hair off my forehead as he tilts my chin up and kisses me softly.
"I love you, Zora," he whispers, making eye contact as he says it.
It comes out against my mouth, mumbled between kisses, but he pulls back and looks at me.
There is a hint of surprise on his own face, as if he never meant to say it out loud, but that makes it that much sweeter. And painful—God, I feel guilty.
"I, uh…" I can't say it back to him. I know I might be feeling something, but to say those words aloud would be to make his pain ten times worse when this is over.
I can't look him in the eye and tell him I care about him, then double-cross him and stab him in the back.
My eyes well up as I fight back the words, and he smiles.
"It's okay. You don't have to say it back. I just wanted you to know how I feel."
He exhales and presses his forehead against mine and closes his eyes.
We lie there for a while, his fingers running through my hair, and then he starts talking about the last few weeks.
About Roman coming down on him over the bettors.
How he had to stand in that office and hand over his phone and prove he didn't send those messages, and how Timur still can't figure out what happened.
"The timing is killing me," he says, pulling me tighter against himself.
"Ro's trusting me with the biggest thing we've ever done.
There's a heavyweight champion flying in from the States on Tuesday.
I'm handling everything and it's all this pressure.
" He lies back with his arm draped over his face and I turn toward him, resting my hand on his chest.
"You'll get it right," I tell him. "There's a reason you were chosen.
" But even as I say the words, the guilt is welling up.
Call it fate or just perfect coincidence, but things are lining up to make this an epic win for the Volyn family.
It won't even be hard to pull off either, and just thinking about that makes me a horrible person.
"Yeah, well I have to pick him up from the airport in a few days, so life's gonna be hectic after that." He speaks with his eyes shut, buried under a wall of flesh and ink, so he can't see my wincing as my own shame burns on my cheeks.
"Wow, that sucks. So, not so much time for me, then?" I want to let myself feel the disappointment of not seeing him. It'd be much easier than the nagging guilt of what I have to do.
"Sorry, but yeah. I can't mess this up." His arm stretches out and he looks up at me as he cups my cheek. "But you can come watch the fights. And maybe we can grab lunch or something."
I feel like I might be sick. I am such a horrible person. I can't even keep a straight face right now, and Kazimir looks upset that he's disappointed me.
"I'm sorry, baby. I swear if there were any other way…"
"It's okay," I mutter, glad that my rankling guilt has come across as sadness and not paranoia like I feel.
"I have to pee." I slip away from him, feeling worse for making him think I'm sad with him, and grab my cell phone from the floor among the pile of clothing before I lock myself in the bathroom. Then the tears come.
This job is harder than I thought it would be.
I haven't listened to anything my brothers have said.
They warned me not to get emotionally involved, which might be easy for a man to do, but for a woman surrounded by men who control her, whose whole life has been one job after another, it's not so easy.
He loves me, and I'm about to slaughter any trust he has in mankind.
I sit on the edge of the tub in the dark, sniffling and wiping my face before I unlock my phone and open the thread with Makar.
I don’t want to do this, but if I come up emptyhanded, they'll call this off and do it some other way, likely just very loud and violent.
I don't want Kaz to be physically hurt, so like it or not, this is the way it has to be done.
I type in a message and stare at my screen feeling dead inside.
Zora: 1:47 AM: They're flying an American in for their fights. I guess soon, couple days? I'll get more specifics. Then I'm out.
I press send and set the phone down as more tears come. It's gonna hurt like hell to tell him I don’t want to see him anymore, but it'll be easier than watching my brothers cause him to self-destruct. I can't do that.
I won't stand back and watch Kazimir be destroyed. The guilt would destroy me.