Chapter Sixteen
CHAPTER
SIXTEEN
Jaykun forced himself to let go of her, to turn away from the comfort of Jileana’s arms around him, and he picked his way over to and then up the cliff face, using handholds and footholds and all the strength in his body to propel himself upward in hard surges of movement.
It was what he liked to do when he was troubled.
He liked to force his body into activity, sometimes until he collapsed with exhaustion.
He didn’t see that being possible here, so he took advantage of what he could when he could.
He climbed all the way to the uppermost level of the honeycomb of caves and then a bit farther until he was standing at the very top and looking down upon the entirety of the selkie world.
He breathed the air in deep, only partly aware of Jileana coming to stand beside him.
Then he turned around and faced the island itself and for the first time saw the sprawl of lush trees and vines, and heard the chittering of insects and the rustle of wild things in the underbrush.
“So this is what the sirens want so badly,” he said. “I can see why.”
“Yes, it is very beautiful, but it is also very dangerous. I wouldn’t want you to go into the island. If you should come upon a siren …” She bit her lip anxiously. “Promise me you won’t go in there.”
“I have no reason to go in there and I am not foolish,” he reassured her, reaching to brush a soft thumb over the rise of her cheek, his fingertips lingering in her hair. “I promise you, I will be careful.”
“Thank you,” she breathed. “I wouldn’t be able to bear it if you were lured by a siren and were …
It is a false love and the sirens don’t care about the suffering of the men they leave behind.
They don’t care about them at all. All they want is a means of getting their daughters. Otherwise, they have no use for men.”
“The selkies sing too, yes?” he asked suddenly. “I seem to recall hearing you sing and it being somewhat … otherworldly.”
“We do. We sing to cast certain spells. Like the healing spell I sing for you each night to help speed your healing.”
“I knew you were doing that. Somewhere inside me I knew, because I was healing faster and with less pain than I was before you came along.”
“Diathus loves her selkie children. She has given them the sea witches—selkies like my mother and me who can cast certain magics. You could say we are Diathus’s priestesses.”
“Like our mems. Our mems are priestesses for the other gods. They have healing gifts and other abilities as well. We also have mages, but they are not as connected to the gods as the mems are usually. Are the sirens the children of Diathus as well?”
“No. Though they live near the water, they turn away from Diathus. It is Jikaro, the god of anger and deception, whom they worship.”
“Jikaro is part of Xaxis’s faction, as Diathus is.” At her questioning look, he explained about the war between the two factions of gods.
“This war between the gods is a terrible thing,” Jileana said, shaking her head, “and it is dangerous for us to get involved.”
“I cannot help but be involved. I have been commanded to interfere on Weysa’s behalf.
I wish I could live in ignorance of the war like so many people do; it would make for such an easier, more blissful life.
But that is not to be and I have not been that lucky.
But I asked for my own fate. I deserve nothing less. ”
“How did you ask for it? Are you going to tell me why it is you must suffer so?”
He looked into her eyes and gave her a grim smile.
“I thought I could force the hand of the gods. I took from them something they were not willing to give. My brothers and I drank from the Fount of Immortality without the permission of the gods and we have been punished for it. I spent untold years chained to a star, burning endlessly like a molten cinder. I have since been freed of it, but as you see, it is my lot to be reminded of my punishment every night so I will not forget where hubris can lead.”
“Jaykun,” she said softly. “When will it end? When will it be enough? You have spent years suffering … When will the gods be satisfied? I cannot believe they are so cruel!”
“Believe it. You see it night after night with your own eyes.”
Jaykun dropped to the ground, sitting at the very edge of the cliff, letting his legs dangle in the open air over the side. Jileana joined him, doing the same.
“I know I do,” she said then, “but I also believe the gods are capable of great benevolence and forgiveness. I have to believe that. They have forgiven me so often.… Why can they not forgive you?”
“Forgiven you?” Jaykun asked, his fingertips on her soft, beautiful face once more. “What could you possibly have done that would anger the gods?”
“I … I am defiant of my father when I should be a better daughter. I fight with my brothers endlessly. We have always done so for as long as I can remember and it should not be so. I love them, I do, but I just can’t seem to get along with them.
It must be some intrinsic fault of mine.
I am stubborn and willful. And I … I am ungrateful of the safe haven Diathus has provided for the selkies.
I … I dream of leaving this place, of finding a home in the world of human men and women, of adventures beyond the safety of these caves and waters. ”
“Hmm. These are grievous sins indeed,” Jaykun said gravely. But his eyes were lit with humor and she could see it.
“You mock me,” she scolded him with a playful push against his shoulder.
“No, indeed I do not. I can very clearly see why you would require forgiveness. But I can also see that if you were not so driven I … I would never have gotten the opportunity to see and know you. So you must forgive me if I do not mind your sins.”
She gave him a sly smile. “This is very true,” she said. “Very true indeed. So you are saying that you are glad to have met such a wantonly disreputable female such as myself?”
“Very glad. And if you are disreputable, what does that make me? I have sinned far more grievously than you ever will.” He said the last more seriously than he had intended.
But it was a serious topic, despite their making light of it.
It was the be-all and end-all of his days.
Everything he did, everything he was, was because of the sins he had committed against the gods.
The only thing he had that did not touch upon that taint was …
Her. Somehow he had earned the gift of her. A blessing amid his curse.
The thought of squandering that blessing scared him.
Truly terrified him in a way nothing else had been able to ever since he had been rescued from the chains of that star.
When one was immortal, one’s fears tended to evaporate.
All fear, it seemed, was rooted in the fear of death.
When it boiled down to it, a fear of heights or a fear of snakes or any such fear was a fear of being killed.
Death was a frightening thing. An unknown thing.
Take away that fear, take away death, and suddenly very little was frightening.
At least that was how it had been for Jaykun.
Now that death had been taken out of the equation, he felt he was nearly invincible and he feared almost nothing.
But the one other thing that terrified him was the mercurial nature of the gods.
Their moods and tempers were the stuff of legend.
If anyone could touch him, it would be the hand of a god.
To be specific, a goddess. Weysa would look upon anyone who might interfere in his punishment with a hostile eye.
She would feel threatened by any woman who came too close to him.
She had already released his brothers from their curses, and as long as there was a brother to replace them and she had a warrior to fight in her name, she was content.
But if for any reason she thought Jaykun might be swayed from his course and purpose …
well, it was quite possible she would simply rid herself of the threat and be done with it.
So it was key that he manage his emotions and his desires with a strict hand.
He did not think Weysa would begrudge him female company, so long as he played by the rules and kept his heart out of the game.
And that was exactly what he would do. He would enjoy Jileana for whatever time they had left together, then he would put her aside and focus on the next city he was destined to lay siege to.
Weysa couldn’t possibly ask anything more of him.
Well, actually she could, but he hoped this would be enough to keep her satisfied.
“I think your sins should be forgiven. You suffer for them nightly, and it is a cruel thing. When will it be enough? When will you earn reprieve?”
He shushed her nervously, looking around them as if there might be someone spying on them and hearing her words. “I deserve every moment of my fate. Do not question the will of a goddess.”
“I will question it,” she said stubbornly.
“There has to be a point when they must forgive you for what you’ve done and release you from this awful curse.
Otherwise, to do this indefinitely makes them purposefully cruel and sadistic, and I don’t like to think the gods are sadistic.
I prefer to think of them as kind and benevolent and perhaps a little strict when it is called for …
but this … this is just merciless and brutal. ”
“Enough. Do not speak of this anymore,” he said, harshly gripping her by her forearm and giving her a shake. “You do not know what you are daring and I will not have you endangered! I couldn’t bear it if—” He broke off and looked away from her.